Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.
A/N: Ugh. I have not updated in FOREVER! I've been in a bit of a depression for about 8 months. So… I haven't really gotten to writing. So now I'm about to attempt to write the new chapter of this story. Well, here goes. Enjoy…
"Riku, you have to stop drinking so much of that, you're going to make yourself sick! Don't make the janitors have to clean your water-based vomit off of the lunchroom floor."
I agreed with Kairi, he's had way too much water. I'm almost afraid he's going to get water poisoning…
"No, listen to me," Riku protested. "You know how flamingos are pink?" Kairi and I nodded. "Okay, when they're born, they're white. They're pink because of a shrimp they eat, that is pink. The color of what they eat is what the pigment in they're skin is. SO that got me thinking…"
"Riku, if you're seriously thinking what I am," I said in response, "you're definitely one fry short of a happy meal."
"No, listen. Since water is clear, then it might turn me… invisible." Kairi and I gave a weird look to Riku. "Pretty good thinking, eh? I'd finally be able to sneak into area 51 and I'll be famous for being the only person to ever do that successfully."
"You babbling idiot!" Kairi said, "Flamingos don't eat shrimp!"
"What?" replied Riku.
"Yeah shrimp are ocean dwellers. When was the last time you saw a flamingo at the beach?"
"Last Thursday."
"Really?" She replied.
"Yeah. I remember because I had a lot of cough syrup and all of a sudden I found Will and Grace to be funny."
"I guess that explains a lot," I said while staring at Riku's eyes. "Hey, don't most people have retinas?"
"What are you talking about?" Riku said in a confused way. "By the way, Kairi, your eyebrows have split ends."
"How could you possibly know that?" Kairi demanded.
"Custom-made contact lenses and eye drops."
"Well, where did you get them?"
"Umbrella Inc." He replied
Just then a kid with a green shirt sat next to them. He dropped his tray onto the table so hard that…. Uhhhh… well he dropped it hard, trust me.
"Do you mind? Asked Riku. "There are other tables in the lunchroom."
"Not at all." Said the weird kid and he started drinking from a jug of water.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Well you know how flamingos are pink…" he started.
"We just covered this." Said Riku "Flamingos don't eat shrimp."
"Yes but they do eat salmon."
"REALLY?" exclaimed Riku. "Give me that jug!" and he started chugging until he keeled over and passed out on the floor.
"I was kidding," said the weird kid "Flamingos don't eat salmon."
"SEE!" I said "Water poisoning" Just then I started to take a bite of his sloppy joe.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you…"
"Well, why not?"
The kid picked it up and threw it against the wall and several dark shadows came out from it. "The power of Christ compels you!" He yelled.
"Hey! I was going to eat that!"
Kairi looked at her spaghetti and a noodle whipped out and caught a passing fly. She knocked it to the floor and it crawled towards the sloppy joe, feeding off the remains.
"By the way, what's your name? I haven't seen you around here before…"
"I am known by many names…"
"But what's your real name?"
"Bob Buford Blue III."
"Yeah right!" Kairi responded. "Who would be sadistic enough to name three people THAT?"
"You can just call me Joseph."
"That's not going to work," Riku said. "It's too normal for a Kingdom Hearts fanfiction."
"I thought you were unconscious." I pointed out.
A brick flies through the window and bashes into his head.
"What's a fanfiction, anyway?" Kairi shrugs her shoulders.
"Well, it's time to be going to our next class soon." Kairi reminded us. "We need to get to gym."
"Right, we don't want to miss archery."
After dumping our trays and giving Joseph a "Farewell for now" we were on our way to gym and I was pushing the dolly with Riku on it. When we arrived at the classroom where we meet before our activities Ms. Armstrong was yelling at some kid.
"You better spit out that of gum!"
"I can't!" retorted a familiar voice.
"And just can you tell me why not!" demanded Ms. Armstrong.
"It's nicotine gum. I need it if I'm going to kick the habit!"
"What!" replied Ms. Armstrong aghast.
"If I don't chew this I'm going to start smoking again and die of lung cancer and then there will be blood on your hands!" He continued "Then you'll get fired and be forced to take a job as a maid and get ordered around by a fat rich kid!"
There was a moment of silence "Very well then, but from now on I expect you to chew your gum whenever you need it!" We walked in to see Joseph sitting in the back chewing something.
"Hey guys, I saved you a seat."
I sat next to Joseph, Kairi beside me, and Riku comatose on the other side of Joseph. Joseph took a container of milk and held it up to Riku's nose. Riku jumped to life and started coughing. I looked at the expiration date.
"I didn't know the milk company has been around THAT long." I said, "Where did you get that?"
Joseph pointed to the radiator "Behind that."
I suddenly smelled watermelon bubbalicious. I looked at Joseph. "Nicotine gum, huh?"
We were soon shooting after waking up Riku and setting up the proper Equipment. Riku was standing next to me. In the middle of class an arrow came zooming past me and got stuck into Riku's kneecap. Riku held his knee and screeched in despair. I grabbed the arrow and read the note I found wrapped around it. It read: "Saturday, county fair, 2 PM."
I was still wrapped in my excitement about the date. That reminded me that I still needed to tell Riku about it since he still didn't know. I decided to tell him as soon as he stopped being a baby about the arrow wound. I was glad I shot three bull's-eyes in a row.
A/N: Because I'm lazy and to eliminate confusion, they were doing indoor archery, since this takes place in late January.
