I am aware that I have three other full fics to finish up, but I just couldn't resist this little idea. :D And I want to do a comedy for once, so now I shall post it. Yay me! I actually have worked on other comedy fics but this was the only one that made the cut. It's probably not that funny, the humor might even be random stupidity, which is no good. Sort of let myself go when I wrote this...But I shall post it nonetheless, so, uh, read it? An odd idea this is. O.o

Flames accepted. In fact, I dare you! You know you want to...


Chapter 1- Curiosity Killed the Hedgehog

Sonic wanted to open the door.

The hedgehog did not need a reason why he desired so, only because. It was not even a very inspiring door, not frightening, not beautiful. In fact, it was rather non-descript. It's mahogany wood stood before him with its dull shine and its doorknob on the side, gathering dust, never caring whether a hand would lay on its brass surface.

But Sonic wanted to open the door.

His green eyes wandered to the middle of the blocked passage way, his curiosity hitching up a notch. A plain sign was nailed to the wood, a piece of paper marked with black letters in quite messy handwriting, as if the writer had been rushed to put down the simple words.

Only Fancharacters allowed. No trespassing.

So Sonic wanted to open the door. He reached out one gloved hand to turn the knob.

"Sonic! What are you doing?"

Yelping in surprise, the hedgehog turned roundabout swiftly, not succeeding in getting the guilty look off his face. An echidna, scarlet spines cascading down his back, locked eyes with the blue quilled animal in a parental gaze.

"You were trying to go in there again, weren't you?"

Sonic avoided the conceding violet eyes as he looked back to the boring old door. Then turning forward again, he gave a sheepish grin. "Noooooo…."

Though he realized the actual answer was as bright as day.

Knuckles narrowed his eyes in clear irritation. "Come on, Sonic. I know you're a better a liar than that."

Now it was Sonic's turn to be irritated. "Well you don't have to follow me around wherever I go, Mom."

Knuckles grimaced at the emphasized word. "Look, I didn't follow you. I saw your blue idiot self coming over here through the window. Why do you even come here anyway? The door's locked. You can't even break it down."

"Can't a guy be curious?" Sonic defended.

"You mean 'stupid.' No one in their right mind would go where those Mary-Sues live. It's pure suicide."

Sonic tapped his foot impatiently as the echidna talked. That Knuckles sure knew how to take the fun out of everything. Really, what was so bad about a door…?

Then suddenly he felt a strong grip on his peach arm. Knuckles had grabbed him and was now pulling him away from the premises, all the while talking on like a strict parent. Sonic tried to pull away, but the echidna happened to be quite a strong animal. Too strong maybe.

"Hey! Come on, leggo!" The hedgehog pleaded, digging his heels in the ground which proved little help. All he wanted was to look behind the dumb door. Is that so much to ask?

Knuckles swiveled his head at his resisting prisoner, though his eyes showed he viewed the hedgehog more like a rebellious child. "I'm just trying to save you from yourself. You'll thank me one day, Mary-Sues are an unpredictable lot. Believe me, I know."

Sonic just gave a fruitless sigh at the situation. But when he turned to take another glance at the door, its brass doorknob seemed to wink at him smugly from the reflecting sunlight.


"Hey, what happened?"

"Guess who tried to go through a certain door again?"

"Oh."

Tails rapt his blue eyes onto the accused hedgehog that was lying nonchalantly on the balcony ledge, the night breeze ruffling the ocean of quills.

"He's been going there a lot lately," the fox pointed out.

Knuckles gave a weary sigh, swinging back his dreadlocks from his face with a sharp flick of his head. "I think that he either has a death wish, or is completely brainless."

"But would it really be that bad if he, or any of us went in?" Tails asked quite innocently.

The echidna rounded on him, a look of pure horror written on his face, as if he had heard the most profane of curse words coming from the eight-year old fox. "Tell me you're kidding. You want to hang around with a…with a…Mary-Sue!" He whispered the last word as if it was poison passing his lips.

Tails held up his hands at Knuckles lucid reaction. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that. But fan characters are probably not all like…that…"

The scarlet echidna shook his head before the sentence was even finished. "Take it from me, those things are not normal. Not. At. All."

"Um, okay," the young fox boy quickly agreed. He didn't want to make the sturdy echidna wallop him for defiance, after all he had his whole life ahead of him.

Knuckles, satisfied with Tails' answer, walked off to his room, making sure to grab the Kleenex from a nearby table on the way that he used for polishing his beloved Master Emerald.

Now the reader will probably want to know where our favorite characters are at this point since the authoress had conveniently forgot to state the surroundings earlier due to her lazy teenage brain. And now she realizes she is breaking the fourth wall now, and that is a big no-no in writing…well, she thinks.

Let us continue on before she loses it.

Sonic kept looking across the street to the building which sported that mysterious door that must never, ever be opened or lightning strike him dead. He lived in a large apartment with most of his friends in the Sega building, as it was obvious by the corporate logo on the front. Since they were all such huge celebrities (in the gaming world, at least) they lived in the building without a care, esteemed by the business that profited from them and mostly, their popular blue mascot. It wasn't the building where the Sega executives were, just an extension, sort of like a hotel, except you didn't have maids or servants to do stuff for you. But Sonic and friends liked living there, living comfortable lives without the nosiness of strangers.

Sonic liked the high life, but usually spent his days running to who knows where, but always coming back just in time for dinner. Tails lived there for the many gadgets the company provided, helping him with his newfound inventions that he would one day present to the world. Knuckles never really liked it there, preferring the secluded island of the skies. But right now his natural home was having a few difficulties. (The land mass kept wobbling in flight so much that the echidna could barely stand for three seconds). His game employers were now fixing it, offering him their building for lodging. So, reluctantly, he took himself and of course the Master Emerald, usually locking himself up in his room. His ceaseless polishing of the gem, day and night, was becoming an obsession.

Now who could forget our sweet little Amy Rose? As soon as hearing that Sonic moved into the building, she packed her suitcase and moved right in. The company could not refuse her, after all, she was part of the reason why they still had money. Sonic tried to pay her no attention, but she was insistent, sometimes ruining his nap time which can be very rude, especially if you liked naps. One of the reasons Sonic went running most of the day, but it wasn't all bad having the girl there. She made damn good pasta.

Eggman was a solitary man, living in one his many bases somewhere around the world, building plans for world domination that would forever be foiled by a certain meddling blue hedgehog. That was Sega's top profit since the beginning, so they let the doctor do whatever he wished.

Now Shadow, the victim of many fangirl mob fests, lived with the foursome. He wasn't one for company but stayed with them because he got tired of living in the woods, eating bugs by the moonlight. A hedgehog needs some decent food, despite that he doesn't always require it for living, being the Ultimate Life-Form and all. But the black and, oh so handsome, hedgehog was getting a little odd lately. Ever since the announce of an upcoming game where he would star in and carry a weapon, his employers gave the gun to him, wanting him to learn how to use it before they start the project. (The motorcycle would have to wait until next month). But there was a side affect. He grew strangely attached to the gun, sometimes fondling it very lovingly and gazing with paranoid eyes at anyone that got too close. He always claimed that everyone was against him and were going to take his 'precious' (his pet name for the gun) away from him. He was usually crouching in a corner, crimson eyes gleaming in the dark as he muttered quietly.

This only proved to Sonic one thing. Shadow had finally and completely lost it. Oh well, less competition for him.

Now we all know there were other characters; Rouge the Bat, the Chaotix Team, Omega, Metal Sonic (who mysteriously disappeared after the Sonic Heroes fiasco), living in far off distant places. All these people are important in the games, but not in this story. So they will go without a blink from these sentences. But rest assured they are all doing fine. Well, maybe not Metal Sonic, since being quite agonized at not being able to defeat Sonic and was last seen in devout depression and is probably crouching somewhere in the woods making voodoo dolls of Sonic and poking needles at every conceivable place…

Moving on.

All these characters just had to star in their games that grew so famous to earn their respect. Everything was in perfect balance, the game designers putting Sonic and his adventures into their products.

Except there was that stupid door.

The group had heard of these fan characters created by fans, used in drawings or stories that their brains cooked up. Knuckles detested them, convinced that the people had betrayed them by making up new people instead of sticking with the canon, or as he once said, true characters. They existed everywhere, having several living dwellings around the globe. Fans would think them up and -poof!- there they were, now in existence. They would change as time passed, which affected their creators. Sometimes they would become more developed, earning their place, and sometimes they would degenerate, lost among the mold. But mostly, they would fade away, back into the memory of their creators who no longer had use for them. Or sometimes they were completely forgotten, very sad.

And one of them was just across the Sega building.

Sonic was keenly interested.

Several times he tried to go in, but despite its looks, the barrier was surprisingly strong. He once for experimentation made a roundhouse punch that would knock any door from its hinges. But this one, there wasn't even a dent.

Which only made the hedgehog more determined to go in.

Knuckles had caught him on several occasions and each time he preached on how dangerous going in there was. It was like the Guardian had some inane fear of these people. Maybe he didn't have such a pleasant experience with one of them that created his current beliefs.

But that didn't matter. Sonic just wanted to get in that door. He thought of going in the windows, but each one was locked tight and the glass was as solid as steel. He guessed that no one wanted him in. And that was just not fair.

Before Sonic could dwell on the matter further, his eyelids drooped, signaling the time for his nap. He fell asleep, remembering hearing the sounds of Tails and Amy arguing on who would be the one to get Shadow for dinner.

"Fine! How about we do rock, paper, scissors on it?"

"You're on, Amy!"


"Man, I'm starved," Sonic announced as he sat at the dinner table, gazing lovingly at the plump slice of ham on his plate, smothered in light brown gravy sauce. Yep, Amy sure knew how to cook. Already he, Knuckles, and Amy were sitting in their seats, chowing down on their delicious food.

Poor Tails though was not so lucky. Losing the rock, paper, scissors challenge with Amy, the young boy was forced to venture into the black hedgehog's room to bring him for supper. One always had to go inside to get him out, calling never seemed to work.

The fox gingerly opened the door, peering into the darkness. Shadow was spotted instantly, kneeling in a corner, still holding his gun close. His eyes glowed with a hellish light as Tails entered meekly. "What do you want?" he demanded, voice with a dark and ominous tone.

In other words, the whole scene was pretty freaky.

"D-dinner i-is read..d…dy," Tails stumbled. Poor boy was frightened to death. Now Shadow's gun didn't exactly have any bullets today, having used them all during shooting practice earlier, which meant he shot down any bird he saw in the sky. But Tails knew that he didn't want to tick off a seemingly deranged hedgehog who once tried to destroy the world. It was just common sense.

Shadow didn't respond at first which made the fox boy even more paranoid. Why was he in here anyway? He was too young for this. For God's sakes, he was the world's future! And now that would all be dashed just because a psychotic hedgie had a mental problem.

After an eternity in the freaky room, Shadow got up and walked toward the door, gun still in hand. Tails dared not move until the black hedgehog passed by him to the dining room. He visibly gave a sigh of relief. At least the thought of Amy having to go there next time calmed his tiny beating heart.

Sonic, too absorbed in the scrumptious food, did not notice Shadow come until he plopped down on the seat next to him and began taking small bites of the yummy sustenance. Unconsciously, Sonic shifted his chair away a few feet. He spotted the gun in Shadow's left hand, using his right to pluck at the food with the silverware.

"Geez, you're gonna carry that thing everywhere now? Like some kind of security blanket?"

Knuckles nearly choked on the meat, Amy gasped, and Tails dropped his fork. Why did Sonic had to say something? Really, was there a point?

Of course, it was the hedgehog's nature to tease Shadow, even if that Shadow was carrying a weapon and had lost sense of reality. But it was fun nonetheless. Besides, Sonic knew he could beat the faker with one hand tied behind his back, and the gun just spiced things up.

But today luckily, Shadow just continued eating his food, seeming to not have heard the hedgehog's remark. Everyone watched warily, including Sonic who seemed kind of ticked off that his ebony copy was ignoring him. Now where was the fun in that?

But Shadow showed he did hear him by promptly saying, "Shut it," very softly.

Amy, Knuckles, and Tails sighed, afraid that another fight was about to break out like last night which resulted in a shattered table and some broken crockery. But everything was fine now and-

Oh no. Each looked to the blue hero in horror. He was going to start again. Why! Can't he just leave things the way they were?

But no, that wasn't him. Making fun of Shadow was one of his favorite pastimes, and he wasn't about to let the guy get away with a measly two words.

"Can't come back with anything, huh? Man, you really have lost it this time. Holed up in your room, holding your gun like a teddy bear. Guess all those fangirls finally got to you. You see, you don't have the experience that I have, so it was only a matter of time before you went insa-"

He never got to finish his taunt since it proved difficult when your face was suddenly pummeled by a strong fist. All it took was one swift punch, and Sonic was sent backward. Shadow never showed any warning signs, he just reacted, hitting the blabbing hedgehog with one blow and then went back to eating as if nothing strange happened.

A full five minutes went by before Tails took up his courage to break the awkward silence. "Is he…uh…?"

"Yeah, he's still alive," Knuckles said monotonously as he looked over to the blue hedgehog sprawled on the floor, unconscious. "Must've been quite a wallop."

"I'll go help him!" Amy said enthusiastically, going over to Sonic and pulling him to a nearby couch, a cheerful grin on her pink face.

"Guess that means I have to do the dishes," Tails grumbled. Somehow, he felt that Amy didn't just suddenly leave only for Sonic. "Hey, Knux, could you help me wi-?"

He never got to ask, seeing only an empty chair where the scarlet echidna had once occupied. Tails would have muttered curses under his breath if he had known any real good cusses. Getting up, he saw Shadow's vacant expression, polishing his gun with a clean napkin.

"Uh, you okay?" he asked.

"I am the angel of death. The time of judgement is at hand," Shadow replied smoothly, eyes becoming hazy.

"What'd you say?" asked Tails fearfully.

"Nothing!" Shadow quickly amended, his eyes shifting left and right. "I…gotta go." He bounded off the chair and rushed to his room. Tails could hear him whisper fervently. "Must let no one know of my mission. Cleanse the world of all sinners and only the pure shall live…forever and ever…hehehe." Then he closed his door, his voice cut off.

Tails merely shrugged it off. Shadow's random mutterings were routine nowadays. The fox looked to the couch, seeing Sonic's head laying on Amy's lap as she played with the quills on his head, talking away as if she had an audience. Tails grinned, wondering how Sonic would react to this. He hefted up the large plates and just as he was about to put them carefully in the sink, a sharp and deafening sound made him jump, thus letting the plates drop to the floor with a grating crash.

"GAHHHH!"

"Sonic! You're awake! How's my future husband feeling?"


It was now midnight, everybody sound asleep in their cozy beds. Tails was wrapped in bed sheets that sported the Tornado 2 pictures, Amy covered in cherry blankets as she held her Sonic plushie tight, Knuckles snoring with his mouth agape, one hand resting on the faceted surface of his guarded treasure, and Shadow sleeping blissfully, his face cleared of any malice or derision in rest that he looked rather cute. If it wasn't for the gun held close to his chest, the scene would have been just picture perfect.

But Sonic was wide awake.

The hedgehog was laying on the balcony ledge, perfectly balanced on its thin surface. His face was toward the large moon. Well, half of it really ever since that eclipse cannon took a huge chunk out of it. But it still looked rather pretty despite that.

Now why could our beloved supersonic hero not get sleep to bless him tonight? Why, it's very simple of course. It was curiosity, that nagging, annoying, pestering little feeling that continually poked him throughout the hours.

He still wanted to go through that door.

Either that or the sight of Amy's face just two inches away from his own when he woke up earlier set him paranoid. He was not ready for that kind of thing. The young girl needed to learn the value of personal space.

So the blue animal laid down on the ledge, green eyes rapt on the sky. Just when he thought he would finally be able to sleep he heard an odd noise coming from below. He quirked up one cobalt ear and looked to the left.

Someone was rushing down the street, which had only a few cars out, very quickly. The figure's head looked from left to right in nervousness and arrived at the mysterious but plain door. It was too dark to determine the characteristics of the figure due to the dumb lampposts that had not been fixed in over a year. Sonic watched curiously, giving him more reason to not sleep.

The figure pulled out a key and started fiddling with the lock of the door. Just as he was about to open the barrier, he suddenly jumped five feet in the air in surprise, complete with a panicked high-pitched yelp. The door was now wide open, someone standing in the middle of the passage.

"Oh, hi! It's about time you came back!" the person said.

Sonic squinted his green eyes to see the spoken person, but it was still so dark he could barely decipher anything. All he could get was that the person was a bright flame red and had a happy smile on his/her face. Though judging by the voice, it must have been a male.

The panicked other got to his feet, flushing furiously at the person in the doorway. "You just scared the heck out of me! Don't ever do that again!"

The flame red one barely flinched from the shouting voice. "Sorry about that. I was just about to go looking for ya."

"Well, I don't need anyone looking for me! I am perfectly fine! But don't ever do that again! You hear me, you-!"

Due to the rating of this story, the remaining dialogue has been removed due to the purposes that it was just way too high cussing or we would have to change this to R. Even Sonic was put out by the profanity as his face turned a deep shade of red from embarrassment of having to hear such foulness.

Yet the red one in the doorway hardly blinked, hearing everything with profound silence. Finally, when the other stopped his tirade, though in actuality catching his breath so that he could continue, the red one then reacted.

Smack!

"Oww!" The cusser clamped a hand to his cheek, tears coming to his eyes as he glared at his hitter. "Why'd you do that for?"

"I told you what would happen if you cursed," said the one who blocked the door, a calm look on his face.

"Well you didn't have to hit me!" Rubbing his cheek, then quickly gasped when he saw the other's hand raise up again, though it was really to get rid of a pestering itch on the red one's head. "Alright! Alright, I'm sorry!"

"There, that's better! Now was that so hard?"

"No…I guess."

The red one then glanced inside where voices could be heard, his eyes growing bright. "Hey, some guys are handing out midnight snacks! Come on, hurry!"

"No, I just want to sle- hey!"

The other was then pulled in quickly and the door shut closed, cutting off any noise from inside.

Sonic remained staring at the spot in growing interest. Now he really wanted to see what was going on inside. His eyes then caught a quick flash from the street below. He looked down, seeing what it was.

A key. It was probably the same one that the other must have dropped when he was caught off guard. He never got to pick it up.

Sonic continued staring at it, an idea forming in his mind.

He grinned deviously.

Time to put his wondering mind to rest.


Not long after our adored hero was standing in front of the fabled fancharacter door. He clutched the key in his hand, barely able to contain his excitement. This was it. He would finally be able to go inside.

"Now let's see if it's as horrible as Knucklehead thinks," Sonic said aloud, obviously not believing his echidna friend's statement.

Almost with an apathetic air as if he came to this place every day, Sonic inserted the key into the lock, turning it until he could hear the click that announced his success. Slowly, he pushed in the door, ready to take in any wonders he might see.

At first, he saw nothing. The lights were all off, leaving only an impenetrable blackness in the area. Sonic walked inside, his red and white sneakers making hollow sounds in the silence. Glancing from left to right, he found nothing except more and more darkness. The hedgehog frowned, beginning to think that this whole ordeal had been a waste of time.

"Man, this is boring. What kind of fancharacters would live here?"

As he openly complained he was not able to see the shape crawling upside down on the ceiling.

"I know it's late but someone has to be up. Are there even any windows here?"

The shape crawled with quiet ease, eyes glittering in amusement.

"And what really ticks me off, where are the midnight snacks?"

Now the shape was hanging from the ceiling by it's feet, the head only a few inches behind Sonic's own.

"Maybe I should've knocked first…"

Tap tap went the feeling on his right shoulder. Instinctively, he turned around and came face to face with something so horrific, he paled.

"Hello there…" it spoke.

"Ahhhh!" Sonic screamed and ran off. Unfortunately, he ran straight into a wall, collided it with his face and collapsed to the floor, unconscious for the second time that day. Or perhaps not that day, since it was past midnight and technically it was the next day.

The other still hanging by the ceiling looked on to the comatose hedgie with a puzzled expression on its face.

"…I'm not that bad-looking, am I?" it spoke forlornly.


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