Disclaimer: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time is owned by Shigeru Miyamoto and Nintendo, and The Lord of the Rings is owned by J. R. R. Tolkien, Peter Jackson, and New Time Cinema. Inspiration for this fic is from John the Visionary's Rurouni Kenshin and Lord of the Rings fanfic, which is getting especially good right now. All characters are owned by those properties, this isn't for profit, just for fun.
Book/Movie 1: The Fellowship of the Ring
Chapter One: Bilbo's Birthday Preparations
In the realm of Middle Earth, in the Land known as the Shire, a little humanoid creature, called a Hobbit, sat in his study, with a blank slate of paper before him. All around him was maps, documents, and other artifacts of Middle Earth. He looked like he was pondering something.
"The 22nd day of September…in the year 1400, by Shire-reckoning. Bag End, Bagshot Row, Hobbiton, Westfarthing, the Shire…Middle Earth…" he mumbled to himself, going over the places he visited, "The Third Age of this world."
He thought up a title for something next, "There and Back Again, A Hobbit's Tale, by Bilbo Baggins...where to begin? Ah, yes…" He then leaned back in his chair and dabbed the feather pen in the ink well, "Concerning Hobbits. Hobbits have been living and farming in the in the four Farthings of the Shire for many hundreds of years, quite content to ignore and be ignored by the world of the Big Folk. Middle Earth being, after all, full of strange creatures beyond count…Hobbits must seem of little importance…being neither renowned as great warriors…nor counted among the very wise."
Bilbo leaned back and chuckled of the images of the Shire he was imagining, and then he heard a knock on his door, "Frodo! Someone's at the door!"
He then put his pen back on the paper, 'In fact, it has been remarked by some that the Hobbit's only real passion is for food. A rather unfair observation as we have also developed a keen interest in the brewing of ales and the smoking of pipe weed. But where are hearts truly lie is in peace and quiet, and good tilled earth. For all Hobbits share a love of things that grow. And, yes, no doubt to other, our ways seem quaint. But today of all days it is brought home to me: it is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life."
As he was writing this, everyone in the Shire was toiling to get a party or something ready. In a huge field that the Shire overlooked, people were setting up party tents, banners, and bringing tables and food, ale, and other things down to the field. The hobbit men and women hoisted up a rather large banner that said: "Happy Birthday Bilbo Baggins!"
The knocking continued, and Bilbo turned around and yelled, "Frodo, the door!" the knocking still continued, "Sticklebacks, where is that boy? Frodo!"
Away from Bilbo's house, a hobbit lies in the grass reading a book, enjoying it immensely. Moments later, the hobbit hears a faint, singing from an old man. The hobbit jumped up and smiled with the greatest joy imaginable. And so the hobbit runs toward the singing. The old man who was singing rode a wagon carriage throughout the Shire. He was cloaked in gray robes and rags and wore a gray long-pointed hat…
The road goes ever on and on…
Down from the door where it began…
Now far ahead the road has gone…
And I must follow if I can...
The old man continued his singing until the hobbit appeared beside him from on top of a small ledge. "You're late", said the hobbit.
The old man stopped his wagon. "A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins," said the old man. "Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to."
A moment of silence came over them. The old man suddenly… cackled a giggle, and then to a full-fledged laugh. Frodo, the hobbit laughed along with him.
"Its wonderful to see you, Gandalf," Frodo said as he jumped onto the old man named Gandalf and hugged him. Gandalf hugged him back.
"You didn't think I would miss your Uncle Bilbo's birthday?" he questioned him as he gave off another laugh.
Frodo and Gandalf rode throughout the Shire. "What news of the outside world?" inquired Frodo, "tell me everything!"
"Everything!" Gandalf asked a surprised, "Far too eager and curious for a hobbit, most unnatural", Gandalf huffed out a puff of smoke.
Gandalf chuckled, and decided to humor his little hobbit friend, "well, what can I tell you? Life in the wide world goes on as much as it has this past age. Full of its own comings and goings. Scarcely aware of the existence of the hobbits, for which I am very thankful."
"Hey! It's Gandalf!" a hobbit child cheered in glee.
"Gandalf!" the hobbit children cheered with glee in their voices.
Frodo and Gandalf continued their stroll through the shire. Gandalf looked to his side and saw the preparations for Bilbo's party, "oh, the long expected party!"
Gandalf and Frodo continued their discussion, "so how is the old rascal," Gandalf asked, "I hear its going to be a party of special magnificence."
"You know Bilbo", Frodo replied, "He's got the entire place in an uproar."
"Well, that should please him," Gandalf chuckled with a puff of smoke from his pipe.
"Half the shire has been invited," Frodo continued, "And the rest of them are filling up anyway."
"Oh, good gracious me," Gandalf gasped with a chuckle
"So life in the shire goes on, very much as it has this past age, full of its own comings and goings, as change comes slowly, if it comes at all. For things are made to endure in the Shire. Passing from one generation to the next, There's always been a Baggins living here under the Hill," Bilbo writes as Gandalf and Frodo enter the Shire, as other Hobbits look on. They cross the bridge into town, heading towards Bag End, winding up the roads towards the hill house where Bag End was, "And there always will be," Bilbo resolved.
"To tell you the truth, Bilbo's been a bit odd lately. I mean, more than usual. He's taken to locking himself up in his study. He spends hours and hours going over old maps when he thinks I am not looking," Frodo told Gandalf, hoping to learn something, and as he tells Gandalf this, Bilbo looks at a map, and then starts looking frantically for his ring, tearing up his study to find the Ring, and finally finding it in his pocket, where he just looked, "He's up to something…"
Gandalf just blew out some smoke, acting like he didn't know Frodo's question.
"All right then, keep your secrets," Frodo replied, "Before you came along, we Bagginses were very well thought of."
"Indeed?" Gandalf asked as he rose an eyebrow and looked at the young Hobbit.
"Never had any adventures or did anything unexpected," Frodo continued, looking down at the road.
"If you're referring to the incident with the dragon, I was barely involved," Gandalf retorted sheepishly, "All I did was give your uncle a little nudge out of the door."
"Whatever you did, you've been officially labeled a 'disturber of the peace'," Frodo stated.
"Oh, oh really?" Gandalf wondered.
The statement that Frodo made was made clear to Gandalf when he strolled past a middle-aged hobbit named Proudfoot, who grimaced at Gandalf like he was some sort of troublemaker. Gandalf nervously looked away from him.
"Hey! It's Gandalf!" a hobbit child cried out to his friends, and the hobbit children began to chase Gandalf's wagon.
"Gandalf, Gandalf! Fireworks Gandalf! Fireworks!" they continued to yell cheerfully.
The children gathered at the back of Gandalf's wagon. There weren't any fireworks when the children wanted to see them. After a few moments, they were starting to become disappointed and let down.
Suddenly…a bunch of explosions went off around the wagon. The fireworks went off, and the children cheered,
"YAAAAH!" Gandalf laughed mischievously.
Unexpectedly, Mr. Proudfoot laughed along with them. Mrs. Proudfoot looked at her husband disapprovingly and he stopped laughing. He then returned his facial expression to his grimaced state when he first saw Gandalf.
Frodo enjoyed the ride with Gandalf but then decided to get off. "Gandalf, I'm glad you're back."
"So am I, dear boy," Gandalf said as Frodo hopped off the wagon and waved goodbye to him. "…So am I," Gandalf said to himself.
Gandalf continued to ride towards Bag End, the estate of Bilbo Baggins. Gandalf stopped at the front gate. He passed through the gate that had the sign, 'no admittance, except on party business,' and walked up to the door with his wooden staff, and knocked at the door with the staff three times.
Bilbo's voice spoke loudly behind the door, "no thank you! We don't want anymore visitors, well-wishers, or distant relations."
"And what about very old friends?" Gandalf asked with a smirk.
The door opened. Bilbo looked up and saw in great surprise, "Gandalf?"
"Bilbo Baggins," Gandalf said as he began to kneel down to Bilbo's level.
"My dear Gandalf," said Bilbo as he went to his old friend and hugged him.
Gandalf returned the big hug, "good to see you. 111 years old, who would believe it." Gandalf released Bilbo and looked at him, a hobbit who looks so ageless, "you haven't aged a day." It baffled him as much as it surprised him.
The old friends laughed to their hearts content. "Come on, come in", Bilbo welcomed Gandalf, "welcome, welcome." Bilbo closed the door and took his hat and staff.
"Oh, here we are," Bilbo told himself as he found the tea bags, "Tea? Or maybe something a little stronger? I've got a few bottles of the old Wineyard left. 1296, very good year, almost as old as I am."
Bilbo laughed as he put up the staff and hat. He then ran to the kitchen, happy as he was, "it was laid down by my father. Let's say we open one, eh!"
"Just tea, thank you," Gandalf replied as he lifted his head into the chandelier.
"Ooh", Gandalf shouted quietly as he set the chandelier straight.
He then bumped his head into a wooden beam, "Ouch!"
The wizard chuckled to himself, telling himself to duck when in a Hobbit's home. His chuckle was filled with both humility and curiosity, and he continued to walk around Bilbo's home.
Bilbo gathered a variety of light foods for his friend to enjoy. He started talking them out of his pantry as he continued his conversation with his wizard friend.
"I was," Bilbo started, "expecting you sometime last week! Not that it matters, you come and go as you please. Always have done and always will. You caught me a bit unprepared, I'm afraid. We've only got cold chicken and bit of a pickle… here's some cheese here, uhn no that won't do. Ah, we've got raspberry jam, an apple tart… "
Bilbo kept naming the foods and preservatives, hoping for a reply on what Gandalf wanted as his wizard friend started looking at Bilbo's work. Gandalf picked up a map that Thorin gave him to help with their first adventure to gain the Dwarves treasure horde back from the last Great Dragon on Middle Earth, Smaug.
Moments later, Bilbo went into his lounge, "I can make you some eggs if you like… Gandalf… Gandalf…?" It seemed to Bilbo that Gandalf was missing, but he appeared in the kitchen and dining room behind Bilbo…
"Just tea, thank you," Gandalf replied, walking into the lounge, being careful to duck not to run into the ceiling again.
Bilbo then took a piece of bread and ate it. "Oh right. You don't mind if I eat, do you?" he asked with his mouth full.
Gandalf chuckled and shook his head, "oh, not at all."
Then a knock came to the door that made Bilbo stand against the wall as if he wanted to hide, "Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins!" It was a hobbit woman calling his name, Lobelia Sackville-Baggins.
"I'm not at home!" Bilbo whispered nervously as he put the tray of food on the table, "Oh, I've got to get away from these confounded relatives hanging on the bell all day, never giving me a moment's peace! I want to see mountains again, mountains Gandalf! And then find somewhere quiet where I can finish my book. Oh, tea." Bilbo remembered Gandalf's request for tea.
He grabbed the teapot and poured the tea into a cup.
"So, you mean to go through with your plan?" Gandalf asked.
"Yes, yes it's all in hand. All the arrangements have been made. Oh, thank you," Bilbo replied graciously, taking the cup into his hand
"Frodo suspects something", Gandalf told Bilbo, hoping to stop what his friend was planning.
"Of course he does," Bilbo retorted with pride in his voice, "he's a Baggins. Not some block-headed Bracegirdle from Hardbottle." Bilbo placed the teapot back on the burner, after he finished pouring the tea.
"You will tell him, won't you?"
"Yes, yes," Bilbo replied hurriedly.
"He's very fond of you," Gandalf told Bilbo, walking closer to his old friend.
"…I know," Bilbo replied, with a hint sorrow in his voice," …he'd probably come with me if I asked him. I think in his heart Frodo's still in love with the shire. The woods…the fields…little rivers."
Bilbo took a few moments of silence, knowing that he's going to leave his nephew and other hobbits that he has known throughout his years for rest and relaxation for the rest of his days…
"I'm old Gandalf. I know I don't look it, but I'm beginning to feel it in my heart," Bilbo stated, looking nervously at Gandalf, grasping the ring in his pocket. "I feel… thin… sort of stretched like… butter scraped over too much bread."
Gandalf nodded in agreement, taking note of Bilbo's mannerisms.
Bilbo continued, "I need a holiday, a very long holiday. And I don't expect I shall return." A moment of silence followed…
"…In fact, I mean not to," Bilbo finished, deciding to go through with his decision.
As dusk approached in the Shire, Bilbo and Gandalf decided share a smoke of pipe-weed.
"Old Toby," Bilbo started with a gasp of pleasure, "the finest weed in the Southfarthing."
Bilbo blew out a small ring of smoke that floated in the air as it grew larger. Gandalf saw this as a challenge, and began quivering his cheeks as he puffed out the smoke, and he magically formed a galleon, and sent it sailing through Bilbo's smoke ring
"Ah", Bilbo gasped with delight, "Gandalf, my old friend… this will be a night to remember."
Disclaimer: I do not own Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, nor do I own Lord of the Rings. Zelda is the property of Shigeru Miyamoto and Nintendo, and Lord of the Rings is owned by J. R. R. Tolkien, Peter Jackson, and New Line Cinema, and inspiration for this fanfic was from John the Visionary's Rurouni Kenshin and Lord of the Rings crossover fanfic.
