Chapter 3 - Just
She just stood there, staring at him, and he sat there staring back at her. Neither spoke a word. Rory couldn't think of anything to say. Ever since Jess had left Stars Hollow, she'd been so angry that she'd spent a great deal of time thinking of snide remarks to say to him should they ever encounter. Now, she searched her mind, but found herself unable to remember anything. All she could focus on was his face, and the dark eyes that bore into her. He was looking her at like he always used to; it was the look that intimidated her, yet left her unable to tear her eyes away. She needed to say something. Her throat was dry. It seemed as if he hadn't even blinked.
After what seemed like years, she cleared her throat. "Jess." Her voice crackled.
He nodded but remained silent.
She never felt that there was any doubt that it was him, but the conformation sent an inexistent wind to leave her skin prickling.
He still hadn't moved yet. He was just sitting, propped up on his arms, looking at her without moving or saying anything. She didn't know what to do. She couldn't think of anything to say, and she couldn't tear her eyes away from his.
She had momentarily forgotten about Logan and the events that had troubled her night up to this point.
"Rory," someone called from behind her.
She jerked her gaze away from Jess' and saw Finn walking briskly towards her.
"Logan sent me to find you. He said you must have gotten lost."
Rory looked back at Jess and saw that he hadn't moved or changed his expression. She looked back at Finn irritably. "Then you can tell him I'm not lost. And I'll be back when I feel like it."
Finn shrugged and headed back the way he'd come from.
"So, are we diving straight back into the staring-eye contest, or are you going to say something?" Rory was stunned as the words came out of her mouth.
Jess smirked. "Long time, no see."
"And that was almost a sentence! Well done." Rory was surprised at how bitter she sounded. She normally wasn't this sarcastic. But today had been a strain on her, and she was beginning to get annoyed at Jess.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Jess said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He raised his eyebrows with over-exaggerated feigned concern. "Is my grammar not good enough for you? I bet they teach you a lot of stuff like that at Yale; stuff that has mounds of relevance to real life."
Rory was now angry, and her eyes shot daggers at him. "But you wouldn't know, would you? You threw all that away for a life of seedy apartments and trampy girls. Were you too good for a decent education? Were you so much above a life that may come to be considered fulfilling? But you made your decision." Rory let out a breath. She saw that her words had stung him. She couldn't believe that she had actually said all that. At any other day in her life, just the thought of saying something like that to Jess would have made her feel sick. But today was different.
Jess shook his head and a different expression washed over his face. It almost looked like sadness.
She immediately felt horrible. She swallowed. "Look, I shouldn't have said that. It's just that last time I saw you we parted on bad terms, and all these thoughts have been stewing since then. But I'm sorry."
He didn't say anything. He looked away from her face and focused on the floor.
Rory bit her lip. "I'm sorry. I don't want to fight with you." She looked to the ground. "I didn't think it would be easy." She swallowed. "But I didn't think it would be this hard."
"Did you just think that things between us would go back to the way they were before?" when Jess looked back at her, there was a new look in his eyes that Rory couldn't quite place. "Life is not a fairy tale, Rory. You have to fight for things. They don't just fall into place. And either you know it and choose to ignore the fact, or you're incredibly naïve."
She was irritated again. "We may lead very different lives, but at least I'm making the best of mine."
"Is that what you call having everything handed to you?" He asked bitterly. When she glared in response, he continued. "Real life isn't like that. But you have no clue, no fucking clue. You have no idea what my life is like. You have no right to judge me like that."
Rory blinked tears out of her eyes. Once again, she regretted the words she had said. "Jess, I -"
"I don't want to hear it," he growled. "I've been through hell tonight. Fucking hell."
"Oh yeah?" she felt a third wind coming on. Anger swelled up inside her as she thought about the night she had had, and how Jess had no clue. The tears kept flowing as she talked. "You think you're the only one? You think my life is perfect, don't you? You think you have it so hard, and the weight of the world is on your shoulders. You think everyone's out to get you, and you're the only one who suffers. Well, you're not. I just had the worst night of my life. All these things happening, and I've had no one to talk to. Everything that happened tonight was my fault. Colin could be… d-dead and it's all my fault." She sank to the ground, sobbing. "I'm so sorry, Jess," she said, through her hands, which she had raised to her face. "I d-didn't mean to upset you, I really didn't. I didn't mean to talk to you like that. I don't want you mad at me. B-but all this stuff's been happening tonight, and I was upset and s-scared, and angry. And m-maybe I took it out on you."
He was immediately at her side, with his hand on her back. "Rory, Rory. It's okay. I'm not mad at you." His face was covered in concern, and all traces of anger had been wiped away.
She sniffed and looked at him through teary eyes, grateful. "Thank you."
He pulled her into the hug she'd been longing since he'd left town. She buried her face in his chest. "I missed you," she whispered. Her voice was muffled, and he didn't respond, so she assumed he didn't hear. She didn't repeat herself.
They were still on the floor in the hallway, a fact which Rory didn't notice until Jess gave her a nudge and she looked up to see a passing nurse's glare. "Do you want to take a walk?" he suggested.
She nodded and he helped her to her feet.
They walked through the corridors of the hospital, seeing the dull green walls and smelling the depressing hospital smells, and neither said a word. Rory didn't want to open her mouth again, for fear that she would say something she'd later regret.
"You want to go first?" Jess had broken the silence, but Rory wasn't sure what he meant.
"What?"
"Your night."
She was afraid that if she started talking, the tears would come again. "No. You go first."
He sighed, but took a minute to collect his thoughts. "Fine. I'll make it short. A friend of mine OD'd on heroin and she's in a coma right now." He looked away from Rory and at the ground instead. "Her father's a cop and holds me personally responsible, and will probably see to it that I get locked up, even though I did everything in my power to help her."
Rory had remained silent for the duration of the summary of his night. She felt that he was leaving out something critical, but didn't say anything.
"That's quite the night," She said.
So this was Jess. She was right about him, after all. His life was about people, drugs, and running from the police. Rory felt a bit disappointed in him. Although tonight, he had seemed strangely different. She had never remembered him quite like this. It wasn't like he didn't care before, but he seemed like he genuinely and truly cared about her at this moment.
He shook his head. "I'm fine. But don't think I told you that to get your sympathy." He shot her a quick grin. "Your turn."
Rory didn't know whether or not to let herself open up completely to Jess. Of course, he had just told her the horrors of his night, and she felt she owed it to him to him to explain herself. Besides, she had said a bunch of nasty things to him and she felt he deserved a proper explanation. He was also an ear outside the situation that could perhaps give her advice. And he wouldn't be able to help her unless she told him the whole story. The more she thought about it, the more she was convinced that she should tell him all of it.
She swallowed and braced herself. "Okay. I went to a bar with three guys from school. Afterwards, somehow I was convinced that getting into a car with them would be a good idea. So it was fine, and we were almost there, and then… I don't know," she paused and stopped walking. "Something ran across the road, we swerved and ended up crashing. The driver went through the windshield. He took off because he didn't want the police after him. My boyfr… my friend got a minor concussion, but I think he's fine now. The other guy was alright because I made him put on his seatbelt. Then, the police questioned me. And I lied. Before he took off, Colin, the driver, told me not to tell the police about him, because he'd get in trouble. So I lied to the police, and I've been worried about that all night."
Jess was silent. He was staring at her with what looked like awe.
"Say something," she said.
"Wow."
She smiled weakly. "Glad to impress."
"You must be tired."
"I've gotten used to it." She said. Then she remembered that Logan was waiting for her. "Oh, no."
"What is it?"
"I need to get back to Logan's room. Crap." Jess smirked at her cursing. When she saw the look on his face, she smiled. "You want to come?"
"I have absolutely nothing better to be doing."
They walked comfortably towards Logan's room, and Rory was glad she had run into Jess. Whatever his present life may be, Jess was still she same guy she had fallen in love with so many years. And although he hadn't shaved in what appeared to be a few weeks, he still had the same mysterious good looks.
"Ace, I thought you'd left the country." Logan's face brightened when she entered the room. It dulled slightly when he saw Jess follow her in.
Finn glanced up warily from beside the window.
"Logan, this is Jess. He's an old friend from Stars Hollow."
"Ah, yes," said Logan, sizing up Jess. "Star's Hollow. Quaint little town, from what I hear."
"That's one way to describe it," Jess said with a patronizing smirk. "So, you're the boyfriend?"
Rory jerked her head towards Jess. For reasons not entirely known to herself, she had purposefully not told Jess that she had a boyfriend. She had made one slip of the tongue, but thought she had covered herself.
"If that's what they're calling it these days," Logan said casually. They hadn't yet had the discussion of what to label their relationship. But Rory could tell that Logan was feeling slightly threatened. "So yes, I'm the boyfriend."
"I see. Well, it's been a nice… chat… but I must get back to my 'girlfriend in a coma'."
Rory was surprised to find herself the only one in the room to understand his reference.
Jess shot a meaningful glance at Rory before leaving the room.
After he had left, Rory thought about what he had implied with the Smith's reference. She was puzzled. She distinctly remembered him saying that the girl in the coma was his 'friend'.
She shook herself as she realized that what she was feeling was disappointment.
Author's Note: This story will probably be continued, that is, if there is enough following. Reviews are greatly appreciated. My apologies for the long time since the last update.
