Singing along w/1000 words from final fantasy, writing this, and looking at scanlations at the same time…so…this chapter might have weird grammar…--'…

(I'll try to get more details in this! And I'll try to make the characters not so OOC…but then…it won't go with the plot…hnn…I'll think of something…--')

I'll follow the suggestion for a beta…and I have my friend to do it! Yay! (go check out her stories "kawaii2" You better thank her cuz she isn't exactly a slash fan…and I'm making her read all this… --' Yes…my grammar is…err…bad…WELL, I DO live all the way in Taiwan soooooo…--' sigh…sorry for the bad grammar.

Oh, and I just figured out the plot and the story and I was surprised…this story's gunna be SHORT! Hehe…ya…so sorry!

(BTW, Draco is a Veela in my story, but none of those "looking for his mate" in my story D but they are pretty good stories…go check 'em out)

----

ya… all that up there? I wrote that before…and since you wanted me to post this chapter up now…HERE IT IS!!! YAY!!! --' Ehehehe…

a lot of people said that they liked how Draco acted…--' I'll try to make him…err…MORE like that BUT…I dunno…I'll try D and don't blame me for the grammar!!

Oh! And all those people who offered to beta for me (especially Samie who took the time to give me an email.) I really appreciate it and stuff…But I would rather have my good friend G.G here help me! THANKS!!

--edit--

New beta amber-eyez this is the beta'd version of chapter 4!

----

What's Worth Living For?

----

a sad light shone

turning into wings that cuts the white darkness

shone upon by the cold sun

I had some limited freedom

the miraculous night cast by the mirror

started to remove my mask, my soul

on the other side of the collapsing wall

despair and hope looks the same

if there's a heart that's yet to be seen

lets head to the end of the prologue

--Hakuya True Light

----

Harry stared after Blaise and blinked his emerald eyes in a confused way. 'Okay…' He was sure Blaise was going to stay, but guess not. 'Oh well, it's not like as if he has to stay with me 24/7.' Harry made his way towards his way to his new room.

'I wonder…'

When he finally got there, he was standing in front of the portrait. Then he paused, 'what was the password again?' he thought sheepishly. 'Err…' he continued staring at the portrait of Merlin.

'Oh yea!'

"Merlin!"

"Finally my dear boy." The portrait chuckled and swung open. When Harry stepped in, he gasped.

"Oh…my…" It was humongous! There was a "living room" as big as the Gryffindor common room and there was 4 doors leading to the bedrooms and 2 bathrooms that could compete with the prefect's. The walls of the common room were green and gold, 'Slytherin and Gryffindor colors.' Harry mused. And every bedroom had different house colors of Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw. In the middle was a beautiful four poster bed with the same color as the walls.

'Wow! I'm actually sort of happy the Gryffindors kicked me out.' But of course he knew deep down inside of him that it wasn't true. He went to his trunk (which was in the Gryffindor Room) and pulled out the things he needed and went to the bathroom. He filled the tub up while brushing his teeth. Then he took his clothes off and slipped into the warm water. He laid back and sighed. It was really comfortable.

'But it'll never be as comfortable as the Gryffindor Tower with your friends with you.' He felt his eyes sting.

'No! I promised myself I wouldn't cry anymore.' But the tears were becoming unbearable when he remembered Ron and Hermione's angry faces.

'Maybe…this'll be the last time.' And he allowed his tears to fall silently down his face.

'I can't believe this is happening…'

----

Sep. 5

----

Harry was surviving the last few days. He even seemed to heal completely; forgetting everything and only focusing on Blaise. He still went to the same classes and Blaise was there with him, so he wasn't scared. But the angry and haunting looks they gave him was enough to hurt him, but he didn't cry anymore. He promised himself that, and he planned to keep this promise. So for now, he decided to ignore them. All he needed was Blaise to be there for him and he would feel complete. (A/N: a lot of the promises ehh??)

The Quidditch matches were coming up and he didn't know what to do. He was still seeker, but will they really let him play? His question was quickly answered.

He was eating breakfast at the Slytherin table when Fred, George, and the whole Gryffindor team came up to him. Harry already knew what this was about and braced himself.

"Potter, this is a petition for you to be removed from the team. Will you sign here please?" George said with a sneer in his voice. Harry was the team captain and the team couldn't kick anyone out without the permission of the captain.

'But this is special…they're kicking the captain out this time.' He thought amusingly as he took out a quill and was about to sign when Blaise interrupted.

"Harry?! What are you doing?!" Harry sighed.

"Blaise, if the team doesn't want me to be the seeker, then I won't be it." He signed his name.

"Is Ginny going to be the new seeker?"

"No, of course not. She refused to be it because it is you we are kicking off. I can't believe she is still with you. Dean is going to be the next seeker." They all looked at him as if he was guilty of putting a curse on Ginny. Harry sighed again and got up to leave.

"Wait Harry, I'll go with you." Blaise wiped his mouth and got up with Harry.

"Thanks Blaise." Harry glanced around the Slytherin Table and was surprised to see Draco staring at him. He blushed and looked down. "Let's go."

As Harry and Blaise made their way to the Tower, Blaise asked,

"Harry, you ok about this? I mean, isn't Quidditch important to you? Why did you just give up like that?"

"Blaise…just…leave it ok?" He snapped

"Fine!"

'This is bad,' Blaise though, 'He's getting stronger. I have to break him. But…how?' He was silent throughout the whole walk which worried Harry.

'He was just caring about me…I didn't have to shout at him.'

"I'm sorry Blaise. I'm just not in a good mood right now…" He looked at the floor feeling ashamed of him. Blaise lifted his chin up with his finger.

"It's ok Harry…I know you love Quidditch and with this whole business of the Gryffindors not accepting you." Blaise leaned down and lightly brushed his lips across Harry's.

"Let's get back to the tower." Harry blushed and looked down.

"Okay."

----

Oct. 21

----

(A/N: I'm just going to skip through the last year at Hogwarts cuz the main plot takes place after they graduate D)

Everything was still the same. The Gryffindors were still being mean to Harry, the Slytherin were actually supporting him, and he felt content. Nothing was going to stop that…that is…until he figured out why Blaise wanted to be with him.

"Oy! Harry! Studying for the test?" Harry nodded. He was studying in the library, preparing for a Transfiguration test.

"Well, dunno why you study it. You're second place in the whole class!" It was true. Ever since the incident with Ron, he buried himself into his classes, trying to forget about them. And surprisingly, it wasn't Hermione that was in first place, she was in third. It was Draco Malfoy that was in first.

"Let's go back to the tower, I have something to show you!" Harry looked up to see the happy smiling face of Blaise…but he didn't notice the evil glean in his eyes.

"Sure, what is it?"

"Oh, you'll find out…I'm sure you'll love it!" Harry grinned and stood up to follow.

"Come on! Tell me already!" They were half way to the tower and Blaise didn't say anything. He just kept smiling his "sweet" smile. Harry smiled too and hurried to the tower, really eager to see what it was.

'Oh Harry…you have no idea what you're getting yourself into.' Blaise smirked and hurried after him.

Harry busted into the room to see……nothing. He was confused. What did Blaise want to show him? He turned around and saw Blaise.

"What is it?"

"Go to the Slytherin room." He still had the smile on. He grinned and went to the Slytherin room. Blaise locked the door behind him and put up a few magic locking spells and a silencing spell…just in case. He followed Harry.

He saw Harry looking around, obviously looking for something and still oblivious to the plot that was about to take place.

"Err…Blaise? I don't see anything…" Harry turned around again and saw Blaise locking the door with the same spells as before. Now Harry was getting REALLY confused.

"Blaise?" Blaise turned around and looked at him with…lustful eyes. Harry's confusion turned into panic.

"Blaise! What is it? You're really scaring me." Those eyes reminded him of Vernon's eyes when…THAT…happened. Blaise slowly advanced on him.

"B-blaise! Stop that! Blaise…please?" But Blaise wasn't listening to him. The next thing he knew was that he was suddenly on the bed with Blaise's weight on top of him. Harry's eyes flew open.

"Blai-" He was cut off by a force on his lips. Blaise was furiously kissing him while rubbing his length against him. Harry figured out what was going to happen. Blaise was already hard.

"No! Blaise! Stop!" He shouted against the kiss, but Blaise pressed even harder. A dry sob came out of Harry. It reminded him too much of Vernon. Blaise started ripping off his clothes. When he was done, he leaned up and started taking off his own clothes. Harry took the chance and tried to run for it.

He went to the door and tried to open it, but then he remembered Blaise locked the door. His wand was in his robes! He looked back and saw Blaise completely naked advancing towards him. Harry was thrown on the bed again and Blaise was pinning him down.

"Now, Harry, you will know what pleasure is." He smirked and slammed in. All of Harry's screams and pleas were silenced by the spell.

----

A Few Hours Later

----

Harry was still on the bed with his face in the pillow. Blaise had just left. Harry's tears were soaked up but were soon replaced by new ones. He couldn't believe it. Blaise, one of the people he trusted the most, just did exactly the same thing as what Vernon did. No, even worse.

The feeling of being betrayed like this was overwhelming. He knew from the start Vernon never liked him, but Blaise…he didn't just do it once…but…no…Harry lost count. He might have blacked out sometime in the middle to be slapped back awake. Blaise had planned this all along.

His whole body was sore, especially the lower regions. He cursed himself to hell and back again for letting himself get taken like this. He hated himself. Hated so much he could kill.

----

Flashback

----

The sound of panting filled the air. Harry closed his eyes, hoping to cut himself off from the world.

"Potter…(grunt)…don't you dare…(moan)…fall asleep…(groan)…on me…oohhhh."

Blaise pulled out and filled Harry again. Harry cried out in pain. Blaise pulled out and pushed in again.

"Ohh…so tight. Man…Harry." Tears came out of his eyes, even though his eyes were closed tightly. Harry felt Blaise grab his legs and swing them around his neck. Blaise pumped even harder and moaned louder. Blaise hit his oh so "pleasurable" spot, but instead of withering in pleasure, he screamed so loud that he thought his throat might tear. Blaise slapped him.

"Be quiet. I'm trying to enjoy this.

Blaise released for what it seemed like the millionth time to Harry and finally pulled out completely. He got off the bed and put his clean clothes back on. He leaned over to Harry's ear and licked it.

"I'm warning you Harry. Don't mention this to anyone or else I'll do it over and over again. Even if they expel me, I'll hurt your little precious Gryffindor friends. They might have done many unfair things to you, but I know you still care for them. Just one word…" Blaise bit his ear and smirked at him. "I'll be back." Then he left.

----

Flashback end

----

Harry clutched his hands until his knuckles were white and pressed into the bed. He tried to stop crying. He was going to keep his promise. He gritted teeth to stop him from yelling out. Even if he didn't, he might have not been able to. His throat was soar from the screaming earlier. Quite sobs escaped from him and choked from the sudden intake of air. His face was all wet and he could feel the blood flowing around his legs.

'What should I do? Why is this happening? What did I do wrong? What is the meaning of life? What is there to look for…to live for?' Questions like these were swimming through his head as tears continued to trail down his face. Then his eyes shot open.

'I deserve this! This is my punishment for not saving Cedric and them! My punishment! I have to be punished!' He quickly got up, ignoring the pain, and looked around. He found his robes and reached into them, pulling out his wand. He frowned. 'No…He didn't want to die like this…like the way Voldemort killed his mum. No…He wants to die the way Slytherin's hated most. (1)

He wanted to die the muggle way. He quickly transfigured the shreds of his clothes into a knife and pressed the cold metal against his wrist. But he stopped.

'Do I really want to go through with this? Is death really the escape?' He lowered his hands, 'No, it isn't.' He dropped the knife and dropped on the bed.

'Mum wouldn't want that. She didn't give her life up just for me to go suicide!' He felt tired and cleared his mind before he let sleep claim him, a single tear making its way down his face. Maybe he didn't deserve to be loved at all.

'Why does it hurt so much…?'

Draco Malfoy was lying on the couch reading his Transfiguration text book. He was trying to understand the concept of changing a mouse into a cat when the entrance to the Slytherin common room opened. He looked up to see Blaise with a sinister smile on his face. When Blaise spotted him, the smile grew even bigger.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Oh…nothing…just saw Harry a few minutes ago." Draco could hear soft laughter coming from Blaise. He used his veela nose to sniff the air and was surprised to smell sex…and Harry. Draco's eyes widened and stared at Blaise. Blaise walked away and was laughing all the way to the boys' dormitory and slammed the door. Draco's eyes became unfocused, lost in its own hazy world.

"Harry…"

-------------------------------

(1) oh you people out there…don't say this won't happen to anyone. I've done it once…(not the suicidal part but punishing myself part. Yes yes, I'm very…err…unstable P and if I die, you have no story to read ehheheheheh --'

----

LALALALALALALALALALALALLALALALALAL…Chapter DONE! Sorry I took so long. P

----

-Next Chapter-

He took off his glasses and looked out into the sunset. He smiled sadly to himself. His glasses dropped out the window.

Happiness?

He forgot everything. The sun erased him of his memories. Nothing was left but his burning desire.

He closed his eyes as the sun disappeared under the horizon. Harry gently leaned forward and, slowly it seemed, he fell.

----

Cassie