Stop Saying You Love Me
Disclaimer: I don't own anything cept the plot n' the oc =) ya... please RR! Thanks.
(Harry & gang are in their 7th year).
Warning: THIS IS A DARK FIC. IT HAS CHILD ABUSE, RAPE, BEATING AND OTHERS. IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE ABOUT THESE THINGS, PLEASE LEAVE NOW. IT IS RATED R.
I have school and a lot of homework...so I might not be able to update that fast...--' ya. I'll work on this...Mondays n' Wednesdays n' sometimes Saturday n' Sunday...so don't expect me to update really fast. --'
Thanks for all the reviews!! And thanks G.G for being my beta! =P
(BTW, Draco is a Veela in my story, but none of those "looking for his mate" in my story =D but they are pretty good stories...go check 'em out)
And about the letter in the first chapter...about the "umm's" and stuff...sorry but that's how I write letters...just ask G.G and she'll tell you...she'll probably say "she adds a million '...'s' too" --'... sorry. If it's not an educational thing, I don't really write I very...err...professional. --' I'll go and change it when I have the time, kk? .
About the A/N for the last Chapter...you guys were say I needed help? --' EHEHEHE...I guess I do...but let me explain
I don't really punish as in...like...cutting myself. Ya...I just think to myself, 'I deserve this.' And stuff like that...it actually lessens the pain just to tell you =P and without a dark past, scary me, you would have gotten a happy go lucky story! =D EHEHEHEHEH...don't worry...I'm really hyper and happy most of the time and I laugh at the least funny things, I just fall into depression at random times.
And about Blaise...I didn't even know there was a Blaise!! --'ehehehe...well...I just needed some evil person and I chose Blaise cuz there were a lot of Blaises' in other stories...
AND THIS IS A D/H (in that order) STORY!!! Sorry if it doesn't seem like it but it is. Sigh...poor Harry...getting betrayed over and over again...sigh...T-T
[Broken Spirit]
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Every time I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
And every time I sleep, you're in my dreams
I see your face
It's haunting me
Every time – Britney Spears
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Oct. 22
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Harry is lying on the green and silver bed, still as a board. A cool breeze passes through the window and the boy shivers but becomes still again. A knife is lying on the floor and bloody sheets were carelessly tossed to the side.
The boy's body is naked with multiple bruises visible and dried blood clung to the inside of his legs. Although not visible, his back was moving up and down, his breath coming in short gasps. He started to toss and turn as if his sleep was disturbed by restless nightmares.
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Harry's Nightmare
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Panting was heard as something smooth and long moved in between his legs. Pain shot through him with every movement. His nerves couldn't take it anymore and he screamed bloody murder.
He opened his eyes and saw Vernon groaning and moaning with pleasure. Harry closed his eyes again and tried to block the pain with gritted teeth.
But the voice was replaced by another, replaced by a voice that belonged to the one person he trusted with his heart: Blaise. Cracking his eyes open, he saw the hazel eyes through blurred visions.
He forgot the pain, the humiliation and his thoughts only focusing one the one this he hated most: betrayal.
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He started screaming again, waking himself up. He was trying to get rid of his thoughts, trying to think of Ginny, the person who believed in him. The pain suddenly disappeared and Harry was back in the real world. (This is not an H/G story btw)
Tears of pain leaked out of his eyes. He squeezed his eyes shut and a sob escaped him. He's been breaking a lot of promises lately.
'Ginny. I don't know if I can do this. You protected me, believed it could do this. But, after this, I don't know what do to.' Harry sniffed and picked himself up. He rubbed his arm across his eyes, drying the tears and dragged himself to the shower.
Once he got there, he started to cough. It smelled like Blaise; like...fruits? Putting a hand to his nose, he stepped into the stall.
Almost drowning himself in the water, he thought of his life. He wondered what it would be like if his parents were still alive, if Tom never became Voldemort, if the Death Eaters never killed the Weasley parents. Sighing, he turned off the water and stepped out and grabbed a towel.
"Someone up there doesn't like me." He grumbled under his breath. Wrapping the towel around his waist, he went out, which happened to be a bad idea.
He closed the door behind him out of habit and turned around. Blaise was sitting on the bed with the knife Harry had transfigured earlier in his hands.
"Very interesting Harry, trying to escape with death? I never knew you were suicidal." Harry stared at him with wide eyes. He began to back away until his back was up against the door. His heart was beating faster and faster. Panic rose up in his body. Blaise chuckled.
"Oh Harry, don't worry. I'm not going to do anything...yet. I just came here to see how you were doing." Blaise stood up and walked towards Harry. Harry was cowering to the floor, but Blaise picked him right up and slammed him to the wall.
"Harry, Harry, Harry...What am I going to do with you. You're scared of me already? And I thought you are the Boy-Who-Lived!"
Blaise licked Harry's neck and bit down lightly. Harry froze.
"Harry, you know I love you right?" Harry looked at Blaise in anger and pushed him away with as much force he could muster up.
"How dare you say that to me! After...our relationship...why did you do this to me?" They stared at each other for a long time. The silence was so great; Harry thought he might go deaf by it. Finally, Blaise answered
"Because... it's fun." Harry looked at him in disbelief. Blaise kissed him lightly on the nose and walked towards the door, Harry too stunned to move.
"Remember what I said about telling people out this. Bye." With a "cheerful" wave, he left. Harry slowly collapsed to the floor, silent.
'Because...it's fun.'
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Oct. 23
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It was a Hogsmead weekend. Everyone left. No one but Harry was left in Hogwarts. He had just visited Hedwig and now he is walked around aimlessly, not registering where he was going until he saw the Room of Requirement.
'Hmm...I wonder what I want. Probably a life.' Harry sighed and opened the door. Once he stepped in, he saw...a broom! His favorite sport was played on a broom, but now he couldn't play it anymore. He saw pictures of...Hermione, Ron, and himself looking happy and content.
There were also pictures of his parents when they were still in Hogwarts. His dad was really handsome with all that messy hair and his mum was really pretty with those emerald eyes.
'I don't deserve her eyes,' Harry thought bitterly. There were also his favorite books and toys he had when he was small. Not that he had much anyways.
This was what he wanted, toys? But then it all added up.
He wanted...
Happiness.
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Harry made his way to the Astronomy Tower and sat on the window. It was about 7 o'clock pm and the students were coming back. Harry looked down and saw the heads of the students. Their laughing faces.
Oh, how Harry wished to be like them, to be normal. So many people want to be special. But the special people want to be normal. How ironic.
He took off his glasses and looked out into the sunset. He smiled sadly to himself. His glasses dropped out the window.
Happiness?
He forgot everything. The sun erased him of his memories. Nothing was left but his burning desire.
He closed his eyes as the sun disappeared under the horizon. Harry gently leaned forward and, slowly it seemed, he fell.
He fell out the Astronomy Tower.
The smile never leaving his face.
(A/N: I should just stop it here to have a cliffhanger, but I'm nice and this is only...5 pages and because I love you all! =P so I'll continue...as long as you review and give me your thoughts!! =P)
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Draco Malfoy didn't want to be here. He wanted to stay in the Slytherin Dormitory and sleep! But noooo...Pansy just HAD to drag him out and bring him here. Luckily, he got away from them alone.
'I could be in my own comfortable bed right now.' He had this eerie feeling that something was going to happen today and he wanted to sleep it off.
He was thinking of that night when Blaise came back from Harry's room when something fell in front of him. He looked at the ground and saw a pair of...glasses? He looked up and was not prepared to see the Wonder Boy falling out of a window too.
"Holy Shit!" When he finally caught on that Potter was falling...out the window...of a very tall tower, Harry was already half way. He had to do something!
"Windgardien Leviosa (sp? Not bothered to check the book for the spelling --')" Swish...flick...nothing happened.
Draco was panicking now. Just a few more seconds and Harry' will smash into the ground.
'Ok, gotta calm down.'
"Windgardien Leviosa!" Swish...flick...and Harry's body stopped inches from the ground. Draco sighed in relief and ran over to the still boy.
"Hey! Potter? What was that?" But it seems as if Harry was unconscious. He was smiling...? He looked rather...innocent...and calm...when he is sleeping. Draco shook his head.
'This isn't the time to think of these things! I have to get him to Madam Pomfrey!" He picked Harry up and ran to the infirmary.
He never noticed a pair of eyes followed his every move.
"Malfoy..."
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Pant, pant, pant...huff...huff...'Why did they have to make the infirmary so far?' Sure, he was strong and Harry was light.
'As light as a feather.' He thought bitterly. But the infirmary was practically on the other side of school. Grumbling under his breath, he finally made it. 'And about time too.' He opened the door and stepped into the very empty room.
'Where is the nurse when you need her?'
And as loud as he could, he screamed "Pomfrey!!!!!"
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Draco was sitting in a chair next to a bed occupied by Harry. He was leaning his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.
Madam Pomfrey said he was going to be okay. He fainted from exhaustion and was now going to have to stay in the infirmary for a few days to get his energy back up. Draco had insisted on staying (with his puppy dog face) and he was excused from Monday's classes.
"And ONLY Monday. I don't want any more people in here then there should be." Madam Pomfrey said with a huff.
"Potter, what the hell happened to you?" Draco muttered, exasperated. He had noticed the sudden change in the Wonder Boy ever since school started.
"What did Blaise do this time?"
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Oct. 24
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Harry opened his eyes and was glad that the curtains were pulled. He didn't think he could stand the light. He looked around and noticed the familiar white surroundings even without his glasses.
"The infirmary." He grumbled. He comes in here WAY too many times. Then he saw something move from the corner of his eyes. This...person had blond – almost white – hair and pale skin. The light in the infirmary reflected off the hair, making it almost angel-like.
"Are you an angel?" He asked stupidly. The "angel" smirked.
"Hardly, Potter. Seems like you hit your head, or am I really an angel to you?" Draco was amused by the angel thing. 'First time I was ever called an angel.'
"For now you are. Why am I in the infirmary?" Harry asked as Draco handed him his glasses.
"Well...straight to the point? All I can guess right now is that you jumping out the Astronomy tower." Draco said with a shrug. Then all the memories came back.
"Oh..." was all he said. There was an uncomfortable silence for a while. Draco decided to break it.
"Why did you do it, Potter? What did Zabini do to you?" staring into Harry's emerald eyes.
Harry looked away and considered telling him.
'No. He might be with Blaise, probably seeing if I will tell someone.' He thought bitterly.
"It's none of you business."
Images of Vernon came, then Blaise. He sniffed again but he blinked back the tears.
Draco, even though he had an idea of what happened, used Legilimency on Harry (Snape taught him). Harry gasped when he felt something intrude his weak barrier. But he was too weak to push them out. He turned and looked at Draco. But then more images came into his mind.
Draco saw Blaise groaning and moaning. He felt disgusted, but then he saw something that he never could have imagined. He gasped.
"Your UNCLE?" Harry flinched at the sudden loud noise. How Draco knew it was his uncle, he will never know; he didn't want to know. Draco was...surprised to say. Here he thought the Boy-Who-Lived would be treated like a god at his own house. But now...
"Why did he do that to you?" Quieting down again, afraid to scare Harry.
"I'm sure you can guess. I don't feel like talking right now." Harry took off his glasses drying his eyes as he tried to get rid of the images. He was about to throw his glasses on the ground but Draco caught it. He scowled.
"I don't want to take the time repairing them for you."
"Sorry." Harry mumbled and he lay back down and turned his back towards Draco. Draco sighed for the millionth time and shook his head.
"Potter, why are you like this? We're supposed to be at each other's throats and trying to kill each other. Not sitting next to each other with me wondering whether you're ok or not."
"I never told you to worry about me. People do that a lot and I'm getting sick of it. Maybe it's because ever since I was kicked out of Gryffindor, I've become more dependent on the Slytherins. And like what Blaise said, just because you act the way you act doesn't mean you really are like that." Harry yawned loudly and then silence fell again.
"Potter?" Draco called out as quietly as possible, but Harry didn't answer. Draco got up and looked over Harry.
He seemed to be fast asleep. Draco sighed again.
"Good night Harry." He whispered and left the room.
Harry opened his eyes and smiled. It felt foreign on his lips that have been frowning for the last few days.
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GRIN!! Nehehehehehehehehehehe. WELL!! What do you think? What should come next?? And noooo...Harry's not gunna die...do you want him to? I was planning for SOMEONE (not gunna tell you who) to die...but I haven't really decided it yet.
QUESTION FOR TODAY: Should this story have a sad-sad or a happy-go-lucky ending?
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CH 6 Teaser (Once again, read everything on the top!! VERY IMPORTANT THINGS AND ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS)
"NO! STOP IT!"
"POTTER!! YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT! IF YOU DON'T, YOU'LL BE IN HERE FOR A LONG TIME! You are exhausted and if you drink this you'll feel better!
"NO! DON'T TOUCH ME!"
"What is wrong with you Potter?" Draco stepped next to the curtain drawn bed and saw Madam Pomfrey holding a potion, her other hand on Harry's chest, trying to hold him down. Harry was thrashing around.
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Oh DancerChick314!!! T-T I LOVE your review and your suggestion!! I think I'll go with it!! Oooo...I LOVE YOU!!! AHHHHH!!! I Feel sooooo happy!!!! T-T and bout the twin thing...bends head down in embarrassment I forgot they graduated...ahhhh...sorry!!! I read the book but I FORGOT!! AHHH...SORRY!! T-T bows =P how bout like...since they flew out before the graduated, they had to come back!! Ya!! Ok =D
And if you have any questions, please put it in a review or email it to me.
I'm already done with Ch 6....but i'll be a very mean person and not put it up yet =P
See you next time =P
Cassie
