I don't own anything related to the Naruto Franchise


Chapter 2 - (Un)Welcome Home


Kakashi saw the signs long before he saw the girls that he was looking for. He saw broken branches, tracks on the ground and several other indications that two people were trying to go unnoticed while crawling through the underbrush... poorly. He followed the trail for less than a minute before he found them and a wide grin split his entire face. Kakashi had noooo idea how two six year old girls managed to get away from a fully trained ninja, but he was definitely impressed.

A split second later, when he landed next to the two heiresses, he covered their mouths to muffle their shrieks… "Girls my name is Dog. I'm an Anbu of Konoha, and you're safe with me. Nod if you understand."

After just a moment passed, both girls nodded and Kakashi pulled his hand away. "Now... care to explain how...?"

"It was a wild boy," the white eyed girl suddenly whisper/yelled.

"A boy around our age, he saved us," the blue eyed girl immediately followed up. "He's just a kid like us, but he did it anyway! He's holding the bag that we were stuffed into, only now it's full of logs, and he's leading the ninjas away!"

"A boy? What'd he look like?" This story sounded completely absurd to Kakashi, and he was a Genin by the time he was six.

"We don't know," the white eyed Hyuga instantly admitted. "The boy hid his face in the shadows and was covered head to toe in fox furs."

"He was mysterious, but he was also kind to us, and he gave us these Kunai to defend ourselves with," the blue eyed Yamanaka girl added.

When the Yamanaka heiress showed Kakashi her two stone Kunai, he arched an eyebrow in surprise because they were really well made. They were uniform for throwing despite the fact that they'd been carved from granite. Locking eyes with the Yamanaka heiress, Dog gestured for her to give him one of the Kunai. "I'm going to take one of those Kunai for just a moment, okay? Without a word, the Yamanaka girl handed it over. Kneeling over, Kakashi unrolled a summoning scroll. He bit off some blood from his thumb and summoned three of his dog pack.

"Yo boss!"A small pug style dog greeted when it emerged from a white puff of smoke.

"Whats up?" A pit bull asked the question this time.

"I want you two to follow the scent on this knife, as I take these girls back to Konoha. I'll be returning shortly to see what's going on. From what I've been told there's a rather heroic boy out there somewhere, and he's being attacked by a ninja squad."

"On it boss," all three dogs chorused together, as they sniffed the rock Kunai. Soon after, they leapt into the woods with ninja levels of speed and coordination.

When the Yamanaka heiress grabbed back the stone Kunai, she held it to her chest as if it was a protective talisman.

"You are going to save that boy aren't you?" It was the Hyuga girl who spoke this time, while staring at Kakashi with those eerie white eyes of hers. Both girls began inching closer to him with desperate looks upon their faces.

"You two are my main priority right now," Kakashi answered, in a deadpan voice. "I know that you're grateful to the boy, but the chances are pretty good that he's already dea..."

BOOM!...

"Orrrr maybe not..." Kakashi liked the sound of that explosion. If the enemy ninja were resorting to using explosives on a covert style abduction mission, the kid must be making one hell of a nuisance of himself.

"He's fast and strong," the Hyuga heiress added from Kakashi's left. "He was tree hopping while carrying us both in that bag, and I could tell we were moving very fast."

"He also dodged Kunai while carrying us at least once," the Yamanaka heiress added, with as much hope as she could muster. "I know that sound and so does Hinata."

Without saying a word, Kakashi picked up both girls under his arms and began legging it back to Konoha. It sounded like the kid wasn't out of the fight yet, so the Anbu would make excellent time returning to the forest.


Ten Minutes Later…

Naruto shambled and shuffled out of the trees, a ruined husk of his former self, but with a wide and satisfied smile upon his face. His fur clothing was torn off and ripped, his body was shredded and broken, and he was bleeding all over like a horror movie, but that jackass ninja who'd jumped off with him was out for the count.

To Naruto's surprise, the ninja had actually survived the fall, but that was about it… The man definitely wasn't going anywhere with both of his legs and arms broken. Naruto could move with broken bones courtesy of his "super friendly" upbringing. It appeared that the enemy ninja didn't share the benefits of his absurd pain tolerance... It had been a physical and unpleasant job to secure the groaning, moaning ninja against a tree with the last of his metal cord, but it hadn't been all that difficult, and it hadn't taken all that long…

Now all that was left to do was try to get away from the two remaining ninja, with a broken and bleeding body... The bag full of logs had been destroyed by the fall, but Naruto assumed that it had served its purpose by now, and the girl's were long gone.

The thought made Naruto smile...

At this point, Naruto was painfully limping towards a nearby river bank. If he could slip into the water he could float downriver and he wouldn't leave any tracks. Going upriver would've been even better, but Naruto knew that he wasn't capable of that kind of movement right now.

"Stop right there you punk!"

Slowly turning in place, Naruto saw the ninja with the injured arm standing just ten feet behind him.

"Where are the girls?! Tell me now and I'll make it quick. You're going to die either way, but I can make it hurt like you wouldn't believe!" The ninja advanced on Naruto with his uninjured arm up and at the ready.

Naruto scoffed. Yeah... fat chance. Those girls had worried about him... He still felt like shaking his head at such an absurd turn of events. Naruto could not, would not, return that variety of human kindness with betrayal. Turning back towards the ninja, Naruto forced a wide grin to split his bloodied up face. "Not a chance in Hell! I'm not afraid of you! You're a joke! You couldn't stop a six year old from ruining your plans! Face it, you're a failure!"

"Ohohohhh wow... You are going to thoroughly die, boy..." The ninja shook his head in his incredulity. He couldn't even believe the stones on this kid. "Fine! I need answers and you need to suffer. let's kill two birds with one stone, shall we?"

When it came, Naruto didn't have a snowball's chance in Hell of dodging it. He sensed the man's rapid approach just fine, but he wouldn't have been capable of replicating those speeds even if he was uninjured and freshly rested. Seemingly instantaneously, a booted heel was planted deep, deep inside of Naruto's ribs with a sickening crack, sending him flying through the air like a cannonball. Naruto coughed out copious amounts of blood as he ragdolled over the rocks and flew over the river-bed at fantastic speeds...

WHUMP!

Naruto's back slammed into a large boulder resting in the riverbed, cracking open the rock in a circular spider-web pattern before gravity finally reasserted itself. With a splash, he dropped to his ass in the knee deep water, and then groaned down into his knees as the ninja approached.

"Still cocky boy! Want to talk shit to me now?"

After looking down at his still burned hands, Naruto looked back up at the ninja. "Do I look like I care about the state of my body you child abusing fuck?! You scumbags were abducting children!"

As the ninja approached, his face took on a perverse little smile. "Yes, yeah, uhuh. I'm the big bad wolf here. I do bad things and I do them with a smile. Hell... I even take part in the torturing of prisoners on my time off. Give back to my community and all that Jazz." In a sudden blur of speed, the ninja had his hand around the blond boy's throat, and he was throttling him against the boulder. "You know boy... I come from a very dry country... You might be surprised to find out that we like to use water in our tortures. Maybe the fact that water is so precious out there makes torturing with it that much more twisted and painful." Without any further explanation, Junko shoved the boy's head under the water, holding him there as he splashed and struggled.


Kakashi and a team of Anbu operatives that he'd collected were tree hopping through the woods, following the quite obvious signs of pursuit and attack.

"You're saying a small boy made the Cloud ninja go to these lengths? What youth," yelled out a turtle masked Anbu moving at Kakashi's right.

"According to the heiresses, he was their age but fast and strong." Kakashi shook his head at the wild boy story that was going around. Furs and stone Kunai like a tribal ninja of yore... "I don't like the looks of this though..."

The Anbu came to a stop at the edge of a cliff, where there were signs of two people crashing through and falling off.

"You think the youthful boy sacrificed himself to take these ninjas out with him?" Turtle had turned towards Dog as he spoke.

From off to their right, a pit-bull looking dog leapt out of the bushes and barked for their attention. "That's exactly what it looked like, boss, but it was weird. The boy looked way too calm about it. He leapt off with no hesitation and then he grinned like a lunatic at the ninja who'd followed him off. That boy's unhinged boss, and he smelled funny. I waited here to meet you, while Pakkun went ahead."

After nodding at his dog familiar, Kakashi reversed his summon to send him back home. Then, even as the pit-bull went poof, Kakashi turned back towards Turtle. "From what I've heard, the boy knew the woods. I imagine he knew about this cliff. He might have had a plan or net or something. Let's go down and see what happened."

The Anbu team began wall running down the cliff face at great speeds. In less than ten seconds, they were at the base of the cliff and scanning the forest again. Soon enough, they heard a dog barking off in the distance, so they began dashing in its direction.

"Over here!" An Anbu member named Cat was the first one to find what they were looking for. She was standing near one of Kakashi's summoned dogs and was gesturing for them to come take a look.

When Kakashi jumped over, he saw Pakkun sitting next to an unfamiliar ninja. The ninja's brutalized body was strung up to the base of a tree with metal wire. The fall off the cliff had broken his body in dozens of places, but miraculously he was still alive.

"So they both fell off the cliff, but this ninja was the one who took more damage? Who is this super youthful kid?!" The turtle masked man sounded enthusiastically incredulous.

"I didn't see them land," Pakkun explained, in a serious voice. "What I did see is that the kid wasn't in much better shape. He either didn't notice or didn't care about the massive amounts of pain that he was in. He knocked out this guy with a kick to the chin and strung him up like this."

"What did he look like?" Turtle was boiling over with curiosity now.

"Very young, blond, wild, smelled funny." Pakkun shrugged. "I decided to wait here and explain the situation, because I don't think the kid will make it much further in the shape he's in..."

By this point, Turtle somehow looked half insane with curiosity even through his mask.

Kakashi wanted those answers as well, but it was extremely important that this ninja live to be questioned. "Cat... I need you to heal this man and take him back to the village. We need to stop this from becoming an international incident. Turtle and I will continue on."

"Got it," Cat answered immediately... Without even removing the ninja from the tree, Cat started sending waves of green chakra into his body.

"Let's move," Kakashi said to Turtle, before leaping into the trees again. As he scanned the forest he heard the soft patter of turtle following him on his right.


Naruto's lungs were burning and his eyes were dimming by the time the ninja finally pulled his face out of the water. Kami only knows how many times he'd been slammed under the water, but it was all starting to become a blur.

"Talk," the ninja roared in Naruto's ears.

"You're a tool," Naruto yelled back. "Your hands are small and effeminate, which is why your choking game is weak!"

"Oh, oh wow! You're really asking for it big time kid! That's right, struggle! I haven't had this much fun in forever!"

When Naruto's head was slammed down into the silt at the bottom of the river again, he knew for sure that this time was going to be the one. He curled his hands around the ninja's arms, but he didn't have anywhere near the strength necessary to move the man. His hands were burned and weakened anyway...

Then Naruto's desperate and frenzied brain started putting together an idea… If his chakra was enough to burn him...

Within the next instant, Naruto began channeling every ounce of chakra contained within his body through and then out of both his hands all at once, with every scrap of will that he could muster. If he'd had the air necessary to do so, he'd have been screaming like a maniac.


Junko was sooo fucking out of control right now. Who cared about anything anymore! Konoha ninjas would be all over him very soon, the mission was a wash, and he just didn't care! He needed this boy to pay and this felt great! He was throttling the boy into the bottom of the river and this time for sure his mad desire to end it was winning over any desire for answers. The boy's feeble struggles were hilarious as he squeezed at his elbows. The boy's grip around his arms were weakening with every moment that passed, and it was all going to be over any second now... But that was the moment it happened…

Seemingly out of nowhere, two brilliantly bright blue lights blinded Junko from extremely close range, forcing him to blink out the spots splattered across his vision... and it was during this time, that he heard a sizzling popping noise that had his asshole tightening up in alarm...

Sure enough, when Junko finally managed to open his eyes again, he yelped as he realized that his arms were currently being torched right off at his elbows!

With a childish cry of alarm, Junko leapt backwards towards the river bank, where he slowly, reluctantly, looked down at his arms with wide and terror filled eyes. Oh... Oh Kami! His forearms... They were literally hanging off of his elbows by sinew and melted skin alone! It was such a thorough burn it didn't even hurt! There were no nerves remaining to pain him with!

Junko's entire body shivered as he collapsed down to his knees and neck deep in shock. "Noooo," he cried out, in a piteous, infantile wail. "My arms! Both of my arms!"

Spluttering and spitting for air, Naruto dragged his way back towards the riverbank, to join the crying, newly hysterical ninja. Once back on land, Naruto haltingly and painfully climbed back up to his feet, grabbing a jagged rock as he rose. He could die later... Naruto needed to end this man for his own good! With halting, limping steps, Naruto approached the wailing and newly traumatized ninja.

"No! No! Stay away! Stay away! Monster! No!" Junko stared up at the blur of blackness approaching him through a lens of shock and twilit darkness, and he flinched in fear as if the Shinigami was staring down at him.

After shuffling over to stand above the profoundly disturbed ninja, Naruto stared down at the man as he made peace with what he was about to do… At which point, the man whimpered like a child, visibly soiled himself, and then passed the fuck out…

And with the ninja's loss of consciousness, any desire Naruto had once had to kill the man was just... gone. In its place was a soul deep weariness and pain so great it seemed to surpass merely the body. Collapsing to his butt and then his back, Naruto stared up at the stars above.

It was a nice night, clear and warm… which Naruto thought was pretty damned appropriate... The world didn't care about his problems. The world wouldn't mourn his death. The world was indifferent at best and once again Naruto had been called... a monster.


One Minute Later…

When Kakashi and Turtle leapt out of the trees towards the riverbank, what they found was… disturbing.

Junko, the Cloud envoy slash abductor, was spasming and twitching with his eyes wide open. His arms were torched to barely connected ribbons and he was laying flat in a puddle of his own excrement. Out in the water was a cracked and crumbling boulder and Kakashi didn't envy whoever's body had caused that. Laying on his back a few meters away from the catatonic enemy ninja was a visibly roughed up and dying blond boy, who was just looking up at the sky as if he were stargazing...

As Turtle ran over to the enemy ninja to secure him for retrieval, Kakashi dropped to his knees next to the blond boy and looked down at him. Then his eyes widened in instant recognition and he gasped. Naruto Uzumaki... the wild boy...

"Come to finish me off, Anbu...?" Naruto spoke in a weak voice that held nearly infinite levels of weariness.

"Well, we were coming to save your life, but... if you'd rather we do the opposite, it can be arranged." Kakashi's tone was sarcastic enough that he assumed the boy would get the point.

"Don't... joke with me... Anbu... The last time... I saw one of your kind... I was getting kicked out of a window... into the hands of an angry mob." Naruto was beginning to lose consciousness at this point, but his eyes were sharp and unyielding.

"The last time I saw you, I was putting out the lamp oil fire your body had become. If you were put into that situation by an Anbu then that's something that needs investigating. You are not a target of the Anbu." Kakashi was becoming furious. No wonder the boy had run away to the woods! Potential starvation and exposure beats being hunted by Anbu any day!

"I... don't want... to go back... I'm not... a monster... out here... I'm a person." Naruto was barely conscious at this point, so his words were extremely quiet.

"You're not a monster in either location, Naruto. People can be cruel but their actions can't change that."

"Words... are... cheap."

As Naruto passed out with the last word, Kakashi shook his head in disgust. Dammit! We created this situation! We need to pull the fuck up! As Kakashi carefully picked up the roughed up boy, he was astounded by how many broken bones and injuries he found. How in the Hell had Naruto accomplished literally any of this?

"We need to get back, ASAP! This boy's holding on by a thread!" Kakashi hoisted Naruto up onto his shoulders to keep him as stable as possible and then started rocketing through the trees. Turtle joined him on his right side mere moments later. At some point in the last few seconds, Turtle had neatly severed off the enemy ninja's ruined lower arms. Kakashi had a hard time feeling even a second of sympathy.


The third Hokage of Konoha Village walked into yet another emergency Council meeting, but for the first time in a very long time, he had a wide, wide smile upon his face. Surprisingly enough Tonight's incident had ended up being quite rewarding. The girls were reclaimed without any lasting injury, the three enemy ninja had been caught alive saving Konoha from a political disaster, and more important by far, Naruto Uzumaki was returned to the village.

Oh sure, Naruto was currently unconscious and in terrible shape in the hospital, but he was back and he was alive. He was being watched over by Dog, because the man had refused to budge from the boy's side.

Truly if you looked past all of the unfortunate messiness of the situation, there was a lot of positivity to be found in tonight's events. Now the hard part was coming... Hiruzen Sarutobi needed to convince the Civilian Council that this was a good thing, and he needed to do it very, very thoroughly. The clan leaders from the Yamanaka and Hyuga better damned well play their parts, because Naruto saved their bacon and they knew it.

After sitting down in his grandiose but comfortable chair, Hiruzen addressed the combined Ninja and Civilian Councils. "Let the emergency session of the Councils begin."

"Kill the boy while he's weakened," yelled Councillor Sharon Haruno. "He's a danger to the village and cannot be countenanced!"

"Here, here," hollered many other members of the civilian council.

The ninjas present had all recoiled at the pink harpies' shrill voice, but they weren't reacting in a similar fashion.

"That boy saved my daughter's life tonight," roared Inoichi Yamanaka.

"That's right," added Hiashi Hyuga in a calm and cool tone of voice. "It would seem rather... ungrateful of us to summarily execute my daughter's savior. There's also the fact that he saved us all from political disaster by disabling her captors. We have much to gain from tonight's incident and it's all thanks to Naruto Uzumaki."

"He's a civilian and falls under our authority," screamed out Haruno at the top of her lungs. "We demand the demon be ended now!"

"Did you just break my decree of secrecy Haruno?" Hiruzen had asked that question in a quiet, deadly voice. He also gave the woman a look that conveyed the words just give me one reason and I will end you!

"No! No, of course not!" Haruno gasped while backpedaling like mad.

"Your argument is invalid anyway Haruno. The boy was accessing chakra tonight, while fleeing and fighting the enemy ninjas. He'll be enrolled in the ninja academy immediately. Naruto is not a civilian. Hiruzen enjoyed watching the moment the Civilian Council's hopes crashed and burned.

"I will sponsor the boy," Inoichi called out immediately.

"I will also make resources available," Hiashi added, in a less than enthusiastic voice.

"That all sounds rather convenient," Shikaku, the Nara clan head, called out laconically from the corner. "However... The boy remains a flight risk. He lived in the forests bordering Konoha for a full year to escape from us."

"According to the Anbu member named Dog, Naruto escaped to the forest because an Anbu attacked him... Running away sounds like a pretty reasonable reaction under those circumstances. Those civilian criminals almost burned him to death after all..." Hiruzen gave the Civilian Council the stink eye, just daring them to defend those so-called "upstanding members of the village."

The Civilian Council wilted under the third's stare.

"Understanding his motives doesn't necessarily solve the problem though... Who will watch the boy?" This time it was the Aburame clan head who spoke.

"I will be housing Naruto in an apartment bordering the Anbu compound and right next door to Dog's apartment." Hiruzen crossed his arms and his tone brooked no argument. "I will have the Anbu make an accounting for their failure in the past, by keeping an eye on the boy. Anyone who wants to cause problems or deface Naruto's home will find themselves strung up by a hydro pole and missing a limb. I cannot stress this enough... The fact that Naruto is a flight risk is our own damned fault! He is our jinchuriki for Kami's sakes. He contains the demon for us. He is not the demon itself!"

"He's also potentially the most powerful offensive force this village contains," Hiashi added, in that cool and composed voice of his. "He is a tool that we can only make use of if we don't break it."

While Hiruzen felt like throttling Hiashi in that moment, he couldn't because his words were technically accurate. When he looked over at Inoichi he saw that the man was feeling the same way as him.

"We must keep Naruto's reintroduction to the village a very quiet affair. A heroes' welcome sounds cute but we all know it won't fly. The village hates the boy." The Nara head didn't sound pleased with the situation with the civilians, but rather resigned to doing what was required. "We also can't let it be known that Naruto foiled Cloud's plot because he'd end up in a Bingo book by next week. We need to keep all of this classified."

"I agree," Hiruzen responded in a tired tone. "All of the events that happened tonight will be classified under an S label and redacted from record. No one will talk about this. Even you two..." Hiruzen gave Inoichi and Hiashi a look and they nodded dutifully. With them taken care of Hiruzen looked back towards the Civilian Council. "Unlike before, when Naruto's status as the Jinchuriki was leaked to the village, if this information gets out I will have the Yamanaka clan breaking minds and retracing the information back to its source. I will hunt you down if you try to leak this information!"

Hiruzen continued to stare death at the Civilian Council, until they visibly shivered in their seats and then he continued. "We will go to great lengths to keep the boy low key and his interactions with the civilians to a minimum. Sponsorship helps. If he doesn't have to shop for tools, food and clothing, then he won't have to interact with the civilian merchants."

"We are not the problem here, and we won't countenance being treated as if we are," a civilian merchant called out.

Over the next ten seconds, Hiruzen gave the Civilian Council a look that could freeze a person to death. "We condemned the apartment that Naruto used to live in, because it was a disgusting monument of inhuman cruelty. It was everything bad about human nature in the form of a building, and it was the civilians who did it. At five years old, Naruto was beaten on a regular basis and "taxed" to near starvation by so-called "upstanding" businesses... Tell me something. Who here dares to claim they're completely uninvolved? Who here is willing to be questioned by the Yamanaka's"

No one said a word…

"I thought so," Hiruzen muttered.

"Let's move on to our next agenda," Hiashi called out in a quiet voice. "The Cloud ninja are being held in a…"


Later that night…..

Ino dozed to Hinata's right side in a private room within the local hospital. Hinata's leg was indeed broken, but it had been a clean break and had already been seen to. Hinata would be back to full strength in only a few days' time.

Ino awoke as she felt a hand on her shoulder, and she cracked open her eyes.

"It's time to go home daughter," Inoichi said, in a quiet voice.

"What about the boy who saved us?" It was just a whisper but both Ino and Inoichi turned to regard the girl who was in the bed. Hinata was awake and staring at Inoichi.

"Due to the potential political fallout of this incident, I have been commanded to keep almost all the information I know regarding this event to myself. What information you two know has now become an S rank secret and you're both to keep it to yourselves." Inoichi smiled then and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Since you two are already aware of what happened tonight, I have been granted permission to share one more piece of information…"

Both girls waited impatiently as Inoichi smiled at them.

"Spill dad…" Ino looked extraordinarily annoyed.

"Okay, okay," Inoichi said, with his hands raised defensively. "The boy survived long enough to be saved and the foreign ninja were apprehended."

"Konoha ninja saved him then?!" Ino was stoked and she fist pumped all around the room. Hinata looked thrilled from where she was laid up in bed.

"Well... kind of," Inoichi answered evasively. "Either way the boy is safe. I'm not allowed to tell you who he is."

"Dad, I want to stay and keep Hinata company." Ino looked eager to stay.

"Are... if you want... that's fine. Just make sure you're home for breakfast. You have school tomorrow." Inoichi wasn't very good at denying his daughter. "Okay then. I'll see you tomorrow, and Hinata, feel better soon okay." With that figured out, Inoichi hugged his daughter and walked out the door.

When Ino sat back on Hinata's right, she looked at the girl with an eager expression upon her face. "Did you get a chance to see the boy with your ocular jutsu?"

Hinata slowly shook her head looking miserable. "I... I wanted to, but I was in too much pain. I'm not gifted enough at it to do it so easily. It takes a lot of... focus."

"No matter," Ino replied consolingly. "He's around our age and has unlocked his chakra. If he's joining the village he'll end up at the academy."

Hinata perked up at that. "You're a genius, Ino! We just have to look out for any new admissions."

"I know right!" Ino arched an eyebrow at the girl and scrutinized her carefully. "This is literally the most I've ever heard you speak... Why the sudden change?"

"I'm on these really rather lovely pain meds right now," Hinata admitted, with a loopy smile. "I normally think of a quarter million things to say or do in every interaction and then the point gets lost and I get embarrassed. Right now everything's moving really nice and slow..."

"Huh…" Ino placed her hand on her chin in a thinker's pose. "I promise to give you a ten second gap to respond from now on. Take your time and keep it simple. Baby steps..."

"That sounds doable," Hinata breathed out sleepily... "That boy was..."

"Amazing," Ino finished, as she flopped back into the lounge chair, pulled up a blanket and grinned towards the ceiling.

"Fox pelts head to toe," Hinata said, with a quiet little giggle.

"A wild boy in the woods," Ino responded, in a sleepy little voice.

"Hyuga women are all perverts," Hinata breathed out quietly, as if she was only coming to grips with that notion now.

"I know that," Ino replied, with a sleepy grin. "Everyone knows that. No worries. I think we have that in common."

Even as both girls started drifting to sleep they giggled at the absurd solidarity that they'd found.


Three Days Later….

After snapping back to full consciousness, Naruto subvocalized a groan, because even without opening his eyes he knew exactly where he was. Naruto recognized the smell of the room around him. It was even more overpowering now that his senses had sharpened out in the forest. Medically scented air with just a hint of human suffering layered underneath it all. After a full year away, Naruto had landed himself right back into Konoha village's hospital as if he'd never even left in the first place... Belatedly, Naruto could also feel someone's eyes pressing in upon his senses.

"Are you my jailor?" Naruto didn't open his eyes because his head hurt and he didn't feel like confronting reality yet.

"No... Security detail... You're as popular as ever." The voice sounded bored.

"I'm not the party crashing type," Naruto quietly replied. "I'm not welcome here, so I think it's time I leave."

"You're not the one at fault here Naruto. You're a ninja trainee and this is a ninja village. You have more right to this place than any of those... people."

"This is the first I'm hearing about any of this," Naruto very carefully hedged... He needed to feel out his current situation. He needed the lay of the land, before he could make a break for the border...

…..

….

The Anbu didn't respond for long enough that Naruto began to think he wouldn't respond at all.

"You have advanced chakra pathways bordering on the absurd, enhanced speed, strength and reflexes, advanced tracking, tree hopping, evasion skills and preternatural sensor abilities. You knew I was here without ever opening your eyes, and I'm under a concealment jutsu right now. Don't even get me started on the fact that you chakra burned that man's arms off."

"I'm a woodsman with access to chakra," Naruto retorted. "I'm a hunter not a ninja. Ninjas are loyal tools to a cause that I can barely comprehend…"

"Loyalty to one's village comes by growing up in said village, making friends, dropping roots. You haven't had the benefit of that yet."

"Yet," Naruto scoffed.

The Anbu didn't reply to that.

"I also don't know the first thing about using chakra outside of my body. I burned that guy just by pouring all of my chakra out in a desperate, out of control mass." Despite Naruto's desire to escape the village, for some reason he was also spilling his guts. He just couldn't figure himself out right now.

"Thus the trainee part... You're far ahead of the curve already, but the learning starts now."

"I'm not feeling generous towards the villagers. I won't be a victim anymore..." Naruto firmly believed what he'd just said would be a deal breaker.

"No ninja in the history of ninja has ever volunteered to be a victim. You've already got the right attitude."

"I still have trouble reading," Naruto admitted candidly. "I'll be hopelessly lost in classes."

"We'll find you a tutor. A nice lazy Nara maybe. They like sitting back and doing idle tasks."

"I resent that," a female voice called out from the doorway. "It's only the Nara men who are criminally lazy. The women are hard working members of society."

"This is your healer, Naruto. Alsea Nara... She's the clan head's wife."

"I recognize the smell," Naruto admitted, in a quiet voice. "Peppermint with just a hint of deer fur. She's the only doctor that ever saw to me in the past. She's right, she's not lazy... I used to keep her extremely busy."

Neither adults responded to that, but Naruto knew they were looking at each other, because he didn't feel their eyes on his body…

Naruto decided it was time to face the music. He opened his eyes and scanned the room. His eyes landed on Alsea and he stared up at her for several very quiet moments, until he simply couldn't help himself. He just had to point something out. "The Nara men always end up with beautiful women for wives... I wonder how they pull that off, with so little motivation."

For several moments neither Kakashi or Alsea knew how to respond to the boy's perfectly delivered compliment/pick up line. Then Kakashi began giggling perversely and Alsea's face split into a slightly red faced grin.

"Flatterer," Alsea accused, while ruefully shaking out her blushing face... "The Nara men are geniuses, is the only way to explain it. One day, I just woke up and realized that I was married to the man. I felt tricked somehow, but it was too late, so I made the best of it.

Kakashi's perverse giggling increased both in volume and intensity.

"I'll never go back to that shack in the red light district," Naruto pointed out at random. "I had a nicer place out in the woods than that hovel, and it wasn't surrounded by junkies and prostitutes."

"Already taken care of and your old home was condemned as an eyesore more than six months ago. Your new apartment is just outside of the Anbu compound, and my suite of rooms is only ten meters away."

"You do remember me saying that I was attacked by an Anbu correct?" Naruto didn't trust the Anbu as a group. He might be able to believe it was a standalone man's decision but that didn't really help him in the end. How could he know if the Anbu right next to him wasn't the one who kicked him out that window?

"Anbu doesn't have a directive to attack children, Naruto." Kakashi's voice held steel at first but then it mellowed. "I'm fairly certain what you saw wasn't Anbu, but rather a similar organization that shouldn't even exist anymore…"

"You're to be my babysitter then?" Naruto truly didn't see that working.

"Hell no, Dog responded immediately. I don't have a paternal bone in my body and everybody knows that. I'm just really, really scary, and the civilians will be informed that I'm nearby. Not only that, but the various Anbu that patrol the compound's walls have been specifically ordered to keep the civilians far away from your home."

Alsea quietly scoffed and shook her head, as she checked the machinery and Naruto's nonexistent injuries. She wasn't going to out Dog to his charge, but the truth was he hadn't slept in three whole days now. He'd been clinging to that ceiling the entire damned time Naruto healed, giving her nursing staff the evil eye. Safety through mere proximity indeed...

Naruto heard Alsea's scoff and figured Dog had a reputation for danger. He looked at the Anbu for several more seconds before relaxing back into the bed. The man didn't smell the least bit hostile or evasive, but rather he smelled... lonely, tortured even. In the end, after recognizing that the dog masked Anbu was being entirely sincere, he simply moved on to his next biggest concern. "I've become used to eating... you know... food, as opposed to refuse out of garbage bins. I don't know why I heal so quickly but food poisoning's no fun even for me."

"You saved the daughters of two clan heads just a few nights ago. I highly doubt you'll ever see them fawning over you, but you have two sponsors for food, clothing and tools." Kakashi shrugged. "If I had to pick between a warm hug or financial assistance, I'd pick the money."

Alsea nodded in complete agreement. Hiashi Hyuga hugging someone was a violently bizarre and off putting thought.

"So the girls did make out okay then... good." Naruto eased further back into the bed, as a tension in his body he hadn't even noticed immediately began easing away. "I assumed they'd be fine because I had most of the ninjas' attention firmly on me, but I never saw that third guy again..."

"He was too busy almost bleeding out from a cut artery in his thigh," Kakashi explained in a casual manner. "What manner of chaos did you unleash in that clearing by the way? It looks like a porcupine made of stone Kunai exploded..."

At first Naruto just shrugged dismissively, but when Kakashi kept staring, he finally answered the question. "I saw the ninja that was abducting the girls dashing back and forth through the forest like a tool. By the way he was moving it was obvious to me that he was searching for a meeting point… and failing. I'd be dead right now if those ninja didn't all suck at bushcraft... Anyway... I know of only one clearing in that general area, so I ran ahead of the man to prepare for him. I set up several dozen tension traps aimed waist high and up in all directions. When the ninjas met each other and put the girls on the ground, I set off one of the traps from a safe distance. The traps set each other off in a rapid domino effect, sending rock Kunai in every direction. I was aiming to injure them, sure... but more than anything I wanted to make them panic so that I could sneak away with the girls. I'm not a ninja, I'm not a fighter, I'm a hunter."

As Naruto's explanation ended, musical laughter floated around the room. Both Naruto and Kakashi looked at Alsea with arched eyebrows.

"Giggle... Sorry, sorry, it's just... That was literally the single most "ninja" thing I've ever heard in my whole entire life!" Alsea had a supremely amused look on her face as she leaned against a nearby table… "Look, Naruto… Ninjas aren't supposed to fight at all... They're supposed to think ahead just like you did with traps, stealth, and misdirection... I think the academy's forgetting the whole "ninja" aspect of being a ninja nowadays...

Naruto gave Alsea a look that conveyed the words "you're not helping" and she laughed while shaking her head.

"You're a Nara, Naruto, and you just don't know it yet." Alsea giggled as she put away Naruto's charts and walked towards the bottom of his bed. "You're also fit as a fiddle and ready to go."

Naruto's head still hurt, but he always felt this way after a coma so he wasn't all that worried. "Umm okay... I have legitimately no idea where I'm supposed to go or what I'm supposed to be doing right now..."

"I can help with that, Naruto. My, my... You really grew a lot in just that one year." At the tail end of those words, Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Third Hokage himself, walked into the room and then flanked Naruto's bed. "It's been a year in coming, but I finally managed to visit you in the hospital Naruto."

"Hey gramps," Naruto replied, with a small and tentative grin.

Both Kakashi and Alsea sweat dropped at the gramps crack, but held their tongues.

"I worried about you, Naruto." There was very mild reproach in the Hokage's tone, but he didn't appear to be angry.

"I wasn't feeling the "Will of Fire" gramps. I needed space." Naruto's tone was light as well, but there was a ton of meaning couched inside of his words.

"I... I understand Naruto. Keep me informed in the future will you?" Hiruzen really did look like a long suffering gramps in that moment.

When Naruto nodded his understanding, Hiruzen smiled. "I will be showing you to your new home today, and I'll be doing so under a Henge illusion. I don't think we want to advertise your return to the village any more than it already has."

Naruto arched his eyebrows at the man and crossed his arms. "Be honest... how bad are they pitching a fit?"

Hiruzen waved a hand back and forth in a negating fashion. "Medium to high discontent, but no rioting or protesting. I reminded everyone that this Village is a military dictatorship and that helped."

"The ninjas are happy with you," Kakashi pointed out. "Well... those that know what happened, so maybe thirty people. Still... Thirty impressed Anbu is no small feat."

"Well, considering they're my new neighbors, I could definitely have done worse." Naruto rose out of bed and then looked down at the sickly orange hospital gown that he was wearing. "Can I not be wearing this like ASAP?"

"Well some unknown someone burned your fox pelts for you, Naruto... They were shredded beyond recognition and fox fur isn't a popular fashion in Konoha. One of my staff took the "initiative." Alsea seemed super frustrated in that moment and she was biting her bottom lip.

"We'll be visiting a clothing shop first thing, Naruto." Hiruzen gave Alsea a comforting smile. "Until then, I'll have you under a Henge illusion so that nobody will see your bare ass. It's a nice day out so who knows you might even enjoy the breeze."

At first Kakashi looked like he might just giggle perversely but then he managed to control himself.

Naruto had never been seen to in a store in his entire life without the merchandise skyrocketing in price. "Ummm Gramps... even you can't afford the rates I'm forced to pay in Konoha's stores."

"I'll be taking you to the store that I used to go to when I was young. I can personally vouch for the owner because he's an old friend of mine." Hiruzen smiled at that and pulled Naruto towards the door. "Okay, here we go, Henge!"

Poof!

Naruto appeared to be wearing very old fashioned ninja clothing and Hiruzen was a young scarred up ninja.

"I'm pretty sure I was less conspicuous in the hospital gown," Naruto pointed out, as he looked at the sixty year old getup.

Kakashi and Alsea both giggled this time.

"Everybody's a critic," Hiruzen moaned in long suffering. "Come! We'll go get you some clothing you approve of."

As Naruto and Hiruzen walked out of the room, Alsea pointed at Kakashi and then pointed at the bed. "Sleep," she demanded, with mountains of authority in her voice.

Kakashi thought about arguing but the bed really did look extremely inviting. Not even a minute later he was unconscious and sawing logs.

If only I could distill that kind of work ethic in a drink I'd... Alsea pondered the possibilities as she walked out of the room and locked the door.


To Be Continued...