Jon mentioned the hopeful sparkle in his father's eyes when he presented him that crystal, telling him that it is his grandfather. His grandfather whom he was never allowed to meet, just because he didn't have an 'ocular outburst'.
A man that only existed in his imagination. A man that he always wondered, which unmotivating and unpleasant things he will tell him, after everything he told to Jordan. A man, he never knew anything about. Everything he knew about Jor-El he knew from Lara. If he had known earlier what great things his grandfather did, he would have had more respect for the man.
"My what?" was everything Jon was able to say.
"I took the leftovers of his crystal to your grandmother, and she was able to restore at least a bit of him." Clark explained. "I know it is… by far too late! And it was still not okay from me to not introduce him to you! But I hope that it gives you a better feeling for it!"
Thousands of questions ran threw Jon's head… but only one (the most important one) made it out of his mouth…
"Does he even know about me?" Jon asked. In truth he wanted to yell on his father that this comes two years too late. That this is ridiculous and just pity…
"Of course, he knew about you!" Clark said. He understood the concerns. "We… ehm… I want to fly with you to my old fortress. It is long overdue!"
"To show me what?" Jon asked mad. "A destroyed ice-cave where is nothing to see anymore?"
Clark knew it was too late. And he knew it is ridiculous. If he had apologized to Jonathan a day or two after his first trip with Jordan to the fortress it would be different. But two years and after everything his son went through it was just ridiculous.
"We don't need to go there today if you don't want! Tomorrow is also okay!"
"Or next year, or next decade…" Jon moaned. "Get out of my room! Jordan, you too please! I need to think about it!"
Jonathan turned away. Clark just nodded silently, closed the box, and left the room again. Jordan, who was so close from getting the truth about Timmy Tanner from Jon, was mad again. But on his father, because he ruined Jon's improving mood. As soon as he was alone again, Jon dropped himself on his bed again to brood…
The rest of the day was extremely quiet in the house. Too quiet! Jordan still didn't talk to his parents, Lois walked up and down in her office, mentally preparing for the meeting with principal Balcomb on Monday and Sam and Clark sat on the porch where Sam apologized to his son-in-law again and told him about his motives and about what he said to Jon…
"I am so sorry that your son is afraid of you and of his own brother! This is only my fault!"
"I am not mad on you, Sam! You were right! You told me that it is going to tear my family apart! And I let it happen! I… I told you that I was alone and didn't know where I came from when I was young. I didn't know about Krypton; I didn't know why I had powers… My parents were always there for me when I needed them. They couldn't tell me where I came from, but they helped me to accept myself and how to deal with my differences. I wish they would be hear to help me through this crisis."
"Oh, yeah… Martha was an angel! She would know what to do now!" Sam said.
"She wouldn't have let it happen in the first place!" Clark added and looked up into the cloudy sky. Imagining his mother looking on them with her angel-wings and shaking her head in disappointment.
"I understand why everyone is mad on me!" Sam continued. "Jonathan, Jordan, Lois, you, your mother… I must think about Lara's words repeatedly, and she is right: I am biased!"
"No… I could had offered you to show you the fortress and tell you more about my family's past and about Krypton! It's more than just having powers, eradicators, and warriors taking over human bodies."
"And I would have rejected that offer because I would had feared a conflict of interests in my position. Aww… I should never had feared that the boys get powers. Because I know they are in good hands Clark! Your boys are great. Powers or not! You did great!"
"Not always!" Clark wailed. "Aww… Jon saved a life today, you know! And he didn't even smiled after."
"Wait… The robbery at the gas-station. I heard about it in the radio on the way here!"
"Yeah, I was so distracted by Jonathan and my attempts to engage him into a conversation that I almost missed it. We were at the other side of the freeway and… Jonathan saw the man handling with his gun and if he hadn't been, the clerk would be dead!"
"The robber escaped!"
"What?"
"I heard it in the radio! After you locked him up in the broom closet, he somehow escaped from there!" Sam explained.
"Aww…" Clark moaned. "Jonathan was so moody the whole ride. He is still ashamed for everything what happened in the fortress! And he does not even want to meet his grandfather anymore!"
Clark told him about his plan and the surprise he prepared with Lara and about Jon's negative reaction.
"Give him some time. He was patient with you for two years. Now we must be patient with him!"
"He gave up, Sam!" Clark wailed, remembering how Jon told it to his friend in Metropolis. "He gave up me and everyone else. I can't just be patient now. Because I have the feeling that the longer, I wait, the more it takes him away from me."
After that Clark lift and went inside to discuss with Lois everything for the meeting in school on Monday…
All in all, the day was quiet and unspectacular…
Jonathan spent most of the day brooding in his room and punishing his family with his silence. Using his new x-ray-vision, he knew he will keep for himself as long as possible, to look through the ceiling and thought about everything…
About his powers, his position in the family, his parents' efforts, and his future.
His father's guilt seemed to be true. His worries and his efforts to make it right, too. Otherwise, he knew that he will never figure out if his father really means it if he reveals his powers to him. He had to keep it for himself until he could be sure. There was a lot to think about.
He knew that Jordan was already with one step in his father's suit and already had his own heroic profile. Like small scale rescues and of course his great help during the world-merging-crisis. And Jonathan… every time he was only a useless bystander watching everyone he loves gotten beaten up or being heroic.
Jon closed his eyes to relax a little bit. Ever since he was a little kid, he dreamed of being a hero like Superman. Well, every kid on Earth has this dream. Everyone always called him a little hero when he defeated a bully in school. Or when he did anything else great. But those times were over…
He thought about Jon-El again. And how he became what he became. He saw it in the memories that swapped over… He was not Jon-El! And his father was not Jon-El's father! At least he hoped so. Jon tried to relax more, laying on his bed and instead focusing more on other things. Threw the slightly open window, a fresh breeze came in. He could hear the birds outside. He tried to focus on that sound and was jealous on their freedom… but suddenly he also heard voices…
"Jon-El was the final warning!" his mother's voice said.
"I know that! And I honestly regret that we didn't let him see Jon-El, so that they could talk about their 'shared memories'!" his father's voice said.
Jon opened his eyes in shock and sat upright in his bed. He could hear his parents' voices! And a lot of other things…
In shock Jon rubbed his ears. Praying that no super hearing starts. It would be a very bad timing! And considering how much Jordan suffered under it, he won't be able to hide it anymore. Jon took a deep breath, hoping to be able to switch it off as long as possible. Still hearing so many things. His ears began to hurt. A headache was starting. It felt like an intense migraine! And if he is not able to turn it off before they call him for dinner, he is busted, and his plan fails before it really begins.
Jon laid down on his bed again and tried to focus on one sound. That's how his brother described it. He could hear the voices of his parents again…
"I waited too long! Now he does not even want to see his grandfather anymore!"
"If my dad had waited so long to introduce me to my grandfather, I would have reacted the same way! Jon has definitely the Lane-stubbornness! Mixing it with the El-pride you get him!"
"I don't give up! No! He is our son! I love him!"
"I am more afraid that his stubbornness will cause him to not to tell you if his powers appear!"
"I can't even start to talk about the powers with him! He is so mad on me! But what should I say. That is all our fault! We treated him like being 100 % human and didn't even consider the possibility that his powers show up sooner or later!"
Jon thought about it. His father was at least able to admit his mistakes. And he had to admit that being always so deniable hindered him to be free, too. He was so fixed on his humanity and on being normal that he never thought about that he just gets the powers a bit later.
"If I had taken him to my father, too that day we would have been prepared better! I hope so much he agrees to the trip to my old fortress! I… want to show him that place at least. I don't want him to think that I didn't want to introduce him to my father because I was ashamed of his powerlessness…"
Jon rubbed his ears again and tried to turn it off again. The headache became worse. And he didn't need another reminder of how screwed up he felt when his father didn't take him there. He took another deep breath and tried to focus on other things again… until it suddenly stopped. The voices the sounds and the only thing he heard again was the chirping of the birds outside threw the open window. The headache became better again, and his ears stopped itching…
"Okay… it's over!" Jon murmured. "It's over…"
For now…
An hour later, his parents called him for dinner. They ordered pizza. To 'celebrate his return'! But Jon was still not very pleased to sit with them on the same table. His father asked him again for the trip to his old fortress. Reluctantly, Jon agreed! But was able to postpone it to the next day, as he guessed that it was already dark up there and it would be better at daylight. Clark was so happy, that he didn't complain when Jon asked to leave and went straight to his room again.
Back in his room, Jon texted a bit with Timmy and Jay in Metropolis…
'Are you okay?' Timmy asked.
'I do my best! My father seems to really try to!'
'You have it under control?'
'Yes! But I need to hope that nothing else happens!'
'Good luck!'
'Thank you!'
Jon put his phone away and tried to relax again and looked around. His trophies and all the other stuff still on its place. But still not knowing what to do. He had no clue what to do with his life. Should he risk it: Should he do what his father does one day and fly around the world to safe people? Jordan would do that. And Lara said that he has the ambitions to be a greater hero than his father and Jordan.
When he was a little boy, he wanted to fly with Superman! He dreamed of it. Superman was not his father back then, he was a symbol for bravery, goodness, and justice. But at which cost? He knew for a long time now that he would never make it to a professional football-player, due to his heritage. He was a smart guy and Lara said that he would be a great scientist, physician, or engineer. But what about becoming the next Superboy? Or the next Superman? Does it mean he has to wear fake glasses from now?
Why is he even thinking about this? He should ask himself how to survive Smallville High first? Just because his records are cleared and his reputation rehabilitated, doesn't mean that the unforgiving and backward people of Smallville will forget it. The whole incident last week with the football team brought a shame over the town, the people realized their own failures. But it doesn't mean that there would be people who don't care and show him their hate anyway…
While turning around in his bed, Jon found the Superman-action-figure, his brother brought in before…
When Jon got it from his grandma, he was so happy. He could look on it for hours and hours just admiring Superman. His powers, his bravery, his suit… He had so many questions to Superman. Questions he never dared to ask his father…
More and more hours passed. At some point his mother came to his room, asking if everything is okay. Jon send her away. A few minutes later, Jordan came.
"You wanted to tell me something about Timmy?" Jordan asked, still hoping his brother trusts him.
"Nothing!" Jon answered numb while glaring at the action figure in his hand the whole time. "I was just thinking. He was pretty shocked about what happened."
Jon really hoped that he didn't traumatized his friend for good.
"What did you two talk about?"
"Just stuff." Jon moaned.
Jordan nodded and left the room hiding that he was extremely disappointed.
Jon really thought about telling Jordan about Timmy, and that he is able to look through walls. He knew, the super hearing will be painful and unpleasant. Not able to be hidden.
Jon spend the rest of the evening alone in his room, trying to find some rest…
Clark meanwhile thought that the nightmares will stop as soon as Jon is back on the farm. But he was wrong…
And this nightmare, Clark was sure, he will never ever forget…
He was with Jordan in the Arctic. Jumping happily after Jordan's flight. Before suddenly they heard a scream. And they saw Jonathan. Full with blood. Green Kryptonite-chains around his feet and his arms while being tied up on a metal-chair. Jon cried.
"Please, I don't know anything about Krypton. I am not allowed to know anything. I can't fly!"
"LIE!" multiple voices jelled when suddenly someone, Clark was not able to see who, start to beat Jon with a baseball bat.
"You are Superman's son, and you really think we believe you that you don't know anything about Krypton?" an angry voice asked.
"Please, I don't know where the fortress is. He never took me there. I don't know my grandfather. I don't know my grandmother. I don't even know how they look like. Please let me go… my father will not come and safe me. I have no powers. He thinks I am worthless."
"WORTHLESS! WORTHLESS! WORTHLESS!" the voices screamed.
Desperately Clark tried to run to his son.
"Jon…" Clark yelled, but his voice failed.
He tried to get closer but Jon was drifting away more and more. Suddenly Jon stood on the edge of a volcano-crater. Covered in blood. His body terribly mangled. He was crying.
"Jonathan!"
"Don't dare to apologize, again! I am so sick of it! Ever since you figured out that I have no powers, you didn't love me anymore. Except you wanted me to give up everything! I gave up! I give you up!"
"As if I would give you a chance?" suddenly Coach Gaines stood in the background with a floating Jordan in full football equipment and Timmy Ryan with glowing eyes and a heavy barbell he held over his head. "No powers, no chance human boy!"
"The human one!" Jon moaned. "What else I should expect?"
With this words Jon let himself drop backwards into the volcano to commit suicide.
"NO! Jonathan…"
"He is a failure Kal-El!" suddenly Zeta-Rho said when he appeared next to him. "It's overdue that he kills himself…"
Terrified and with a racing heart, Clark woke up and start to cry again. Carefully using his supervision to check Jon in his room to keep sure that he was okay. He thought that the nightmares will stop. Something was still going on.
Jon woke up as soon as it began to become bright outside. As usual he avoided leaving his bed, to prevent anyone from figuring out that he needed as less sleep as any other male person in this household. Not knowing that Jordan and Clark were aware of this but let him feel cared and didn't mention it in the morning when everyone came together for breakfast.
Sam, who stayed overnight in the guestroom, still tried to get into a happy conversation with Jon. But Jon was still not ready to forgive him that easy.
Jordan left after breakfast, claiming to get to Sarah. But Jon realized that it was only to avoid joining them on their upcoming trip to the fortress. When Jon saw Jordan walking to town like a normal human, he was surprised. But his 'power-and-training-strike' they mentioned seemed to be true. Jon had no clue if he should be flattered or offended. Otherwise, it felt like his brother really meant it.
Then came the moment of their departure.
Both were dressed in warm winter-clothes. Clark smiled. Jon recognized that smile. It was the same one, his father had when he took Jordan to the fortress for the first time. Jon remembered how pissed and fooled he felt when his father only took Jordan to the fortress. And Clark could see in Jon's face that he remembered. It was the same disappointed expression he briefly glimpsed when he sent Jon to school that day.
"I should have done this with you long ago!" Clark apologized again before they departed.
Clark expected his son to be as thrilled about flying as he was. But Jonathan continued with his offended expression. Clark hoped his son would be thrilled again. Stretching out his arms, like Jordan did on his first flight. Or like when they flew together.
"Relax!" Clark said. Hoping his son would stretch out his arms.
"Watch out for planes!" Jon moaned back to his father. Waiting for the landing. His arms crossed the whole time.
They arrived only a few minutes later in a wide snowy landscape. Jon was able to see a little opening to a cave. And traces of that someone used heat-vision to clear the entrance.
"Come in… no need to be nervous!" Clark said.
Jon wanted to see it. He always wanted. But the more time passed, the more afraid he was of meeting Jor-El. And now he was not excited to see a destroyed ice-cave, his father had to dig out before. Clark could see it! His son was ambiguous! He knew Jon wanted to meet Jor-El but was also afraid of it.
Jon was astonished about what he got to see…
The fortress itself was still destroyed. But there was some kind of simulation in progress. Jon was able to see that it was artificial, but it was obviously supposed to show him how the place used to look like.
"This is beautiful!" Jon said. And then he saw him!
Jor-El, or at least his holograph, stood there, looking on them with the same serious glare, Jordan described. He didn't move and didn't say anything. Jon said hello, but the holograph didn't respond. He was just a holograph. Not able to communicate anymore.
"What would he say?" Jon asked.
"He would say: Welcome! He would say that you look great and that he is glad to see you!"
"Really?"
"Really! I wish you two could have a conversation now. He would tell you a lot about or family-history. About our ancestors. You must have a lot of questions!"
"I do!" Jon responds. "But… Lara filled me in a lot. So, I have only one question! But to you! Why?"
Clark looked on Jon in worry.
"Why you never took me up here to meet him? Tell me the truth!"
"You were mad! I feared… when Jordan got powers and yours weren't showing up that I would cause you to become even madder on me. You were so mad me! For whom and for what I am! I… thought you didn't want to come here because you were so glad about being the human one! I know now better that I should have taken you up here, too."
"I had a terrible day, while you two had fun up here! I was so jealous!" Jon confessed. "I… I had no clue what is going to happen with me? I was so mad on you, two! I thought, you would at least check me? If I get powers, too! I had given the powers up long ago. Since the X-K, I know that I am not made for them!"
"Who says that?" Clark asked.
"My behavior! Jon-El! You after you never asked me why I took it!" Jon answered.
Clark gave Jon a tight hug.
"I am sorry, Jonathan! I know this all comes two years too late!" Clark said, fighting his own tears. "And I know you said no more apologies. But please believe me, if I could turn back time, I would reverse my mistakes. Most of all… not taking you here! This is your past, too. You are an heir of the house-of-El, too! You deserved to see his simulation, too. I am sure you would have liked it!"
"Can you… show me the place?"
"Which one?"
"Where Jordan learned to fly!"
"Why?" Clark asked shocked. He knew that Jon was furious when he left him alone that day.
"I need to see it with my own eyes!"
Clark realized that Jon needed it to draw the line. And so, he brought him to the nearby canyon where he Jordan learned how to handle his flying powers. Apologizing again, but Jon didn't listen anymore.
The boy looked around and thought, this is the place! This is the place his brother learned to fly while he was cleaning the barn… The canyon was deep. He imagined his father standing up here and watching Jordan fall. And how Jordan, like he told him full of joy, managed to raise in the last second to fly around.
For some reason, he wondered what would happen if he jumped down there? Would his father catch him? Would he miraculously be able to fly like Jordan? Or would his father don't prevent his suicide?
"You are ready?" Clark asked preparing to fly them home.
"Yeah! I think so!" Jon said and after a last look down into the canyon, walked to his father to let him fly them home.
The flight home was short. Jon was more relaxed than on the way to north. His father could feel it. Back on the farm, Clark placed them safely on the ground.
"That was nice, wasn't it?"
"Hmm… yeah, it was nice!" Jon said in agreement. It was true that flying was nice. And finally he knew at least how Jor-El looked like.
"When you learn to fly, you will be able to go to the fortress whenever you want! And until then, I will always bring you there. No matter when and no matter how often! You only need to tell me!"
Jon was only able to shrug. "Sounds nice!"
"Yeah… Don't hesitate to ask! Or don't think it would bother me or your brother to carry you." Clark said while they opened the door to the house to enter. Lois and Jordan were already waiting for them. "I mean, don't think I would let you drop into a volcano just because you can't fly yet!"
Suddenly Jon dropped his things and stopped. His face suddenly having this shocked and terrified expression.
"What did you say?" Jonathan asked shocked, turned around, and looked on his father with big eyes.
"I said…" Clark began, but suddenly saw Jonathan's terrified expression. "…oh…"
Clark was busted: There was only one way he could know about this certain thing! And Jon knew that! His conversation with Timmy… he told his friend about that nightmare he had. A nightmare in which his father throws him into a volcano to prevent him from going to the fortress. Timmy Tanner was the only person in the world who knows about this… except someone who listened in to the whole conversation…
"YOU! YOU SPIED ON ME AGAIN!"
Please review and keep well!
Today I reread a story on that was very inspirable: s/14100058/1/Time-to-heal
I read it once and thought, I want to write something like this. And of course, Clark fails in the end of this chapter. Now that Jon knows that his father spied on him again, things take a dramatic turn in the Lane-Kent house.
