Hey folks! It's high time for some much-needed explanations. Hope you enjoy!
Chapter 5 – Exegesis
Tentatively, Théa reached out to take Bo's hand and happily noted that the brunette didn't pull away. "I wasn't allowed to have Lauren, much like your parents weren't allowed to have you, and mine weren't allowed to have me."
Bo stared down at their joined hands and furrowed her brows. "Why not?", she asked. "Is her biological father powerful, too?" Her head snapped upwards, sudden realisation overcoming her. "Wait, that's impossible. Lauren's human, and you're fae… does this mean…?"
"Lauren's father was human, yes", Théa confirmed.
"Was…", Bo echoed.
"Unfortunately, yes. He died in a car accident a few months before she was born."
"Oh." Bo swallowed. "I'm sorry." Now, she felt even worse for having a go at her before.
Théa reassuringly squeezed her hand. "It's okay. I mourned him for many years, but knowing that Lauren was there always gave me some solace. I knew that he lived on in her, and eventually, I made my peace with his passing."
Which is more than I can say about myself and Lauren's passing, Bo thought. But she didn't want to go there right now, so instead, she waited for Théa to go on.
"His name was Ethan. I met him during a stay in England. He was a professor at Oxford University."
Bo's jaw dropped, but she quickly closed her mouth, chuckling quietly. Why was she even surprised? "Of course, he was. She's crazy smart, after all."
Théa chose to ignore her choice of present tense and continued. "He was… a very special man. Meticulous. At times, he drove me crazy with his orderliness." Bo couldn't help but smile at that, thinking of her wife. "But he was also exceptionally kind. Always eager to help the helpless. Unselfish. Truly modest. And very handsome", she added with a wink that made Bo smile again. "To make a long story short, I fell in love with him. Deeply. Madly. I'd never before allowed myself to get too close to anyone, but with him, I couldn't stop it. I fell for him the minute I saw him for the first time."
"Just like I did with Lauren", Bo chimed in and Théa nodded.
"Unfortunately – so I thought initially – he felt the same way for me. I didn't want him to. I was so afraid something might happen to him… That I put him in danger and made him a target for both Light and Dark, because of course, I was still constantly being watched. Fortunately, things have changed by now, but fifty years ago, relationships between humans and fae were… frowned upon, to say the least." She sighed. "I did everything I could to protect him. I went to the elders and swore a blood oath in front of all of them to never tell him about the fae, nor let him witness my powers." She gave Bo a faint smile. "As you can see, I'm here talking to you, so I kept my promise. I was so happy with him. Ten wonderful years, we had together, until…"
"He died?", Bo asked, but to her surprise, Théa shook her head.
"No. Until I fell pregnant." The blonde inhaled, then sighed deeply. "I left him the day I found out. I had to. Our child had been expressly forbidden by the elders, and I knew they would come after me and him if they ever found out."
"But why?", Bo asked quietly. "I thought, unless both parents are fae, the child will always be human?"
Théa swayed her head from side to side. "True. But the outcome very much depends on the fae parent – or their powers, I should say. The more powerful a fae is, the more likely it is for their child to inherit at least some fae genes. They don't make any difference in their development and have never in the history of humankind manifested themselves in actual powers… but that little fact didn't matter to the elders. They didn't allow fae reproducing with humans, because they were terrified of the mere thought of a… mixed child, for lack of a better word." She looked at Bo. "I'm sure you remember what they did to Lou Ann." The brunette nodded grimly. "The moment I knew I was pregnant", Théa continued with a strain in her voice, "was the moment I knew that I would never get the chance to raise my baby… let alone with her father by our side."
She was quietly crying now, and Bo's heart felt heavy. "I'm so sorry", she whispered, impulsively wrapping the other woman in her arms.
Théa was surprised at the sudden gesture, but she welcomed the comfort of Bo's warm embrace. "Thank you", she said, sniffling. "I loved my baby so much, Bo. So much…"
"I know."
For a while, they sat in silence, until Théa trusted her voice enough to start talking again. "The first and last time I held my daughter was right after giving birth. It nearly killed me to give her up, but I had to, in order to protect her." She paused and allowed herself a little nostalgic smile. "I must admit, I shamelessly used my powers to make sure she got into a good family, who would truly love and protect her. It was all I could do for my baby."
"I'm sure you did well."
"I think so. She was a happy child. Though her late teenage years were… turbulent, as you know."
Bo nodded. "She didn't tell me much, but I know about her brother… and the bombing."
Théa sighed deeply. "So many times, I was this close to interfering with her life and breaking that godforsaken law. But of course, that would've alerted the elders to her presence – a risk I simply could not take. And then… fate happened, when Samuel found her in the Congo and tricked her into servitude. God, I was so mad at him for using his position as the Ash to coax an unwitting, innocent human into slavery. But instead of withering away, she thrived. She spent hours upon hours in her beloved lab. Her passion for science reminded me of Ethan. Even though she failed over and over again, generating a cure for Nadia, she always found the strength to go on. I was so proud of her."
"She was one of the strongest people I'd ever met", Bo said, suddenly realising that this held true for Théainu as well. The more she learned about Lauren's mother, the more she couldn't help but admire her courage. She couldn't imagine the loneliness she must've experienced all through her life. Ten years of happiness with Lauren's dad were all she got… no more than the blink of an eye considering her age. Of course, she didn't look a day older than fifty, but by fae standards, that meant she must've lived for at least a few centuries. "And so are you", Bo added.
"Likewise", Théa said, the ghost of a smile adorning her face. "Which leads me to your question from before … why you?" Bo straightened her back and waited. "I already told you that the two of you shared a special bond. A connection that only very few couples enjoy. A connection so deep that not even death can sever it." She lightly tilted her head, intently studying Bo's face. "I must admit, I didn't believe it at first. True soulmates are rare, you see. But you two… were soulmates."
"I know", Bo stated matter-of-factly. To her, it was so blatantly obvious that she didn't get Théa's surprise.
The blonde chuckled. "I hear you, Bo. But I'm not talking about romantic movie plots. I'm talking about actual, real-life magic… the sole reason why we're both here, talking."
"O…kay?", Bo replied hesitantly. Not that long ago, she would've laughed at the other woman, thinking she'd made a joke. Whoever believed in actual magic, right? But over the years, she'd learned – sometimes the hard way – that in the fae world, literally anything was possible.
"You see, people can spend their whole life thinking they've found their soulmate, living happily ever after until the day they die. And that's amazing. But mostly not true. At least not in the magical sense I'm talking about. Which is why I was sceptical, to say the least, when it came to you and my daughter. I knew you were deeply in love with each other – it was obvious in the way you looked at one another. But love isn't enough. Had Lauren been fae, it would've been easy to find out, because your succubus would've mated with her the instant you both met."
"Would've spared me a lot of heartache and wait", Bo grumbled.
Théa chortled at her cranky tone and patted the back of her hand. "I know, honey. But in the end, you found each other, and that's the main thing."
Bo gave her a lopsided smile. She was right. After Tamsin's ascension and Hades' disappearance, it had taken them barely a month to seal the deal in front of the small group of friends that was left to them. The ceremony had been simple and short, because neither Lauren nor Bo wanted to draw too much attention from either the Light or the Dark. Their marriage was still offensive to most fae, but with the Una Mens gone, they'd felt relatively safe.
"True", Bo admitted. "So, how did you end up finding out that we were the magical type of soulmates?"
"Quite late, actually. It was only when I realised that you had truly set your mind to dying for her in order to reunite with her in death, that I knew", Théa answered. "Like I mentioned before, the magic that binds the two of you together is incredibly strong… so strong that not even Lauren dying was able to undo it. Even though my daughter has passed away, you two are still connected. This, and the fact that you're an exceptionally powerful fae, are the reasons why you are the only one capable of bringing her back… or something to that extent."
Bo threw her a sceptical look. "Something to that extent?", she echoed. "I knew there was a catch… am I bringing her back or not?"
Théa raised her hands in a calming gesture. "You are", she said. "But probably not in the way you think."
"I'm waiting", Bo said, her expression still doubtful.
"You have to understand, Bo… Not even the strongest, most powerful fae can bring back the dead."
"So, what are you suggesting?", the brunette asked with growing irritation.
Théa took a deep breath and grasped the brunette's hands, both to calm herself before she dropped this bomb on the poor succubus, and to give Bo time to brace herself. "I want to try to send you back in time."
"What?", Bo exclaimed. Her head was spinning, and not necessarily in a good way. "What?", she repeated dumbly, too confused to form any coherent questions.
"I know, it's a lot to process…", the blonde began, lifting her hand to stop the other woman's impending barrage of no doubt sarcastic comments, "… but I'll try to explain." Bo closed her mouth and Théa continued: "I already told you that I can bend time and space, and while I've jumped countless times on my own, it will be… tricky to do it with someone else in tow." Bo lifted an eyebrow. "What I'm saying is that it's dangerous. I've never done it before, and it… Well, it may kill you."
Bo was unfazed. "Well, in that case I would finally get what I wanted in the first place, wouldn't I?", she asked ironically. Théa gave her a sad, lopsided smile, so Bo reassuringly squeezed her hand. "The way I see it, I have nothing to lose and everything to win", she explained. "I want to try it."
The blonde nodded. "I expected you'd say that, which was why I decided to reveal myself to you. I knew it would take an unusual amount of strength and willpower to take this kind of risk and survive." Théa put a hand on Bo's chest where her heart was. "Your inner Queen is immensely powerful, so she will provide you with the required strength. And you've already proved that your willpower goes far and beyond, especially when it comes to the bond you share with my daughter." She made a little pause, looking into the brunette's eyes to convey the gravity of the endeavour lying ahead of her. "Bo, I need you to understand just how big the risk is that you are so eager to take…"
"I do…", she said earnestly, but Théa shook her head.
"No, you don't. Not the whole extent of it."
She paused again to organise her thoughts, and Bo waited. She was in no hurry. It didn't matter anymore, how much more time passed, because right now, the only time that mattered was the past… a past when Lauren was alive. A past that would soon be their shared future. It was all she had to know, and she would've done anything, anything, to see her wife again, if even just once.
"The first time I ever jumped…", Théa explained, "… was bumpy, to say the least. Plus, I ended up in a time period I hadn't even targeted." Bo lifted her eyebrows. "You see, travelling through time requires an enormous amount of focus, which in the beginning, I lacked – much like you initially didn't know, how to control your hunger. Most fae need a lot of time and practice to master their powers, and some never truly do. I've been alive for many centuries and have enough training to channel my powers towards a very precise point in time. But as I said, I've never before taken anyone with me. What I mean is, Bo, if you really want to do this, you must be prepared – not only to die, but also, to possibly end up in the wrong time period."
Bo frowned. "So what, you're saying I could end up getting chased by dinosaurs?"
"No", Théa replied with a small chuckle. "But, depending on how it goes, you may end up further in the past than the three, four months we're aiming at."
"Hm", Bo hummed, her expression pensive. "So, no dinosaurs then. Kind of a bummer", she added with a lopsided smile, which the blonde returned. "Seriously though, how much further back could I end up?"
Théa sighed. "Honestly, I don't know. But no further back than your own childhood."
"How is that?", Bo inquired.
"Because of the second catch… one that I haven't mentioned yet."
Bo snorted. "Of course, that wasn't all of it", she said, waving her hand in a dismissive gesture. "Alright then, hit me."
Théa smiled. Bo had always been brave, but what she was about to do was extreme, even by her standards, and Théa couldn't help but admire the succubus' grit. "I can only send back your soul", she finally replied. "Your body has to remain behind in order to prevent a time paradox."
"Wow", Bo said. "Yeah, you lost me. Care to explain in a little more detail?"
"It's quite simple, really. Whenever two identical entities exist in the exact same time, a paradox is created, which can lead to space-time-rifts. Which are dangerous, let's just leave it at that", she added, catching Bo's quizzical expression. "What it effectively means is that I will send your soul back to inhabit your younger body."
"Whoa", Bo said. "But what if the jump goes sideways, and I end up in a version of myself before my Dawning? And what happens to my body in this time? Can it even survive without, uh… me?"
"The Dawning affects the mind much more than it does the body, and your mind will be your current one. You will likely need some time to adjust to your younger self, but your Queen will be within you, as it was before. It shouldn't take you long at all, because you have full control now."
Bo nodded. "Okay, good to know. I'll brace myself. What about my body though? This one, I mean", she said, pointing at herself. "The one that stays behind. Can it survive without my soul?"
Théa shook her head. "It won't have to, because no time will pass without you present in this time."
"Yeah, uh-huh. I don't get it."
The blonde giggled and took a deep breath. "Okay, imagine time as a long, endless, constantly moving line." She painted an invisible one in the air and pointed at a random spot. "Let's say you end up right here." Bo nodded, intently staring at the imaginary line. "Your body remains behind. Right here." She used the other hand to point at the end. "From the moment you leave here, time will stop moving, because your future won't yet exist."
Bo looked even more confused than before.
"Okay, let me try a different approach. Remember when I told you why I've never travelled into the future?"
Bo nodded hesitantly. "Because you can't."
"Exactly. Nobody can travel to a place – or time – that doesn't exist. Meaning, nobody will ever see this future, because there can only be one. Your body in this time will be the sole unnatural remnant, left behind in a state of timeless limbo."
Bo frowned, a scary thought suddenly entering her mind. "What'll happen to my younger self's soul? Will I… replace it somehow? I don't know how I feel about just pushing myself… out of my own mind… Jesus, this sounds nuts."
Théa reassuringly patted her hand. "Don't worry, your younger self won't perish or disappear. I expect it to enter the only available space there is – which is your body in this time. Young Bo will never know what happened to her, as time will stand still once you're gone."
"You expect…?", Bo echoed.
Théa shrugged. "Like I said, I've never taken passengers with me before. It'll be a first for me, just as much as for you. but I wouldn't have suggested it if I didn't think I could pull this off."
Bo sighed pensively. Something still didn't add up, and as much as she wanted Lauren back, she couldn't leave it unspoken. "But won't me travelling to the past alter this very future we're in right now? Everyone's future?"
"Yes, that is very likely."
"And that doesn't… disturb you? They always make it sound so bad in the movies…"
"But it isn't, if you think about it", Théa replied. "Remember – nobody will know, because you will be the only person to ever travel through time without being bound by any laws, like I am. Our today will be whatever your arrival in the past makes it. For everyone. Only that no-one but you will know about it. Remember, there can only be one future."
"Hm. I don't mean to get all philosophical, but why even live if there's only one outcome anyway?"
"Because the possibilities we all have are still endless. It is our choices – all of us, combined, who create our shared future. But until we make a choice – any choice – we're completely free."
Finally, Bo understood. "Wow. Time travel is… complicated."
"Which is why I must ask you to do everything in your power to keep the changes to a minimum, while you're there", Théa warned. "Whatever you do when you arrive will have to be under the radar. The Una Mens may be gone in this time, but if the jump goes sideways, as you put it before, and you end up in a time before you slaughtered them, there is a risk that they will be alerted to my presence. Which could kill me, as the magic of my blood oath still binds me. This could create a different kind of paradox, wiping my future self – this one – out of existence, effectively leading to me never sending you back."
"Phew", Bo said. "No pressure."
Théa shrugged. "It's not that bad, if you think about it. The only consequence would be that you and I stop existing from that point onwards. This will affect the lives of everyone you've encountered, but again, none of them will know what could've been, because to them, it was never a possible future."
"Including Lauren…", Bo mused.
Théa sighed. "Yes. Including Lauren. Hey…", she said, searching for Bo's gaze. "Don't dwell on what may be. Nothing's happened yet, and I will do everything I can to keep you alive. Remember, I want my daughter to be happy, too. And she was never happier than when she was with you."
The brunette gave her a grateful smile and squeezed her hand. Théa was right. They both needed to focus now. And who knew… if everything went well, Bo would be prepared and save Lauren, finally making things right. She would be alive, and they'd be happy again, just like it was supposed to be all along. As far as she was concerned, this future wasn't right anyway, so technically, she was simply correcting a wrong. And when it was done, there would be no way Bo would leave Lauren's side ever again. She would just hold on to her if she had to. Cling to her body like a… Wait a minute. Her body in this time was dead and buried… Did this mean…?
"What happens when we arrive back in this time?", Bo asked. "If I got it right before, I'll just re-enter my body hanging out in timeless limbo, correct?" Théa nodded. "Okay, so… what about Lauren's? Hers is dead and buried. Will she just zap out of existence, only to wake up in her coffin, like Kenzi did when she came back from Valhalla?"
The blonde shook her head. "Your body is the only one that we'll leave behind without its soul – it's what I meant when I called it an 'unnatural remnant' earlier. Lauren's body, on the other hand, is dead, so her soul has been separated. Which means, she no longer exists in this time. Once you save her, this future will never have happened for her. There will be no grave, where we stand, and no dead body either."
"Right", Bo said rubbing her face with both hands and taking a deep breath. "Phew. And there I thought I understood time travel after Kenzi made me watch the Back to the Future trilogy like a hundred times."
Théa chortled. She couldn't help it, and after a short while, Bo joined in. It felt freeing to both of them, laughing with someone after this long. They exchanged a determined glance and got up. It was finally time to get going.
