TITLE: Letters from the Country
AUTHORS: Brenda Shaffer-Shiring and Kathleen Speck (Kathy wrote the Torres entries, Brenda the Chakotay ones.)
RATING: G (all audiences)
CHAPTER: 4/9
DISCLAIMER: See Chapter 1.


From Chakotay Darrow, Viscount Trebus, Dorvan House, to Lord Thomas Paris, London
15 June, 18--

Dear Tom,

I find that perhaps I am more of a romantic than I anticipated.

We are just returned from the Roddenberrys' ball, and I am quite vexed with Kathryn. It seems she has taken it on herself to play the matchmaker for Belle. To that fact itself I cannot object, as matchmaking is undoubtedly an activity more suited to a woman than to a man. But the choice she presented Belle tonight is so unsuited to Belle that it seems almost perverse!

You've met Geoffrey, Lord Barclay, certainly. If not, your father is sure to know him. Well, it seems that his second son, Reginald, is seeking a wife. I assure you, any who think him a good match for my Belle know very little of the fellow.

He seems amiable enough, to be sure. I am told that he is clever, as well, and I believe that without qualm. But he is skittish, awkward, and -- forgive me -- altogether lacking in manliness. You will find it hard to credit, but he refused his father's offer to buy him a commission, as he thought he had not the constitution for a navy life. He hates to ride, he will not hunt, and he trod on Belle's feet so frequently on the dance floor as to cause her severe pain. His greatest interest -- his only interest -- is in scholarship. It seems his heart's desire is to study astronomy in Germany, under some noted professor of whom I have never heard and never care to.

I cannot imagine Belle being happy for a fortnight with such a creature. She came to me after her excruciating dance with him, and asked, in some distress, if I would require her to accept his offer of marriage. You may be sure I told her I would do no such thing. How could I sentence her to unhappiness? I never shall, and I told her so. She may marry who pleases her, or not at all.

When Mr. Barclay applied to me for permission to court Belle, shortly thereafter, I informed him that the lady would not. He looked at me as if that were a most baffling consideration to introduce into the proceedings, but I doubt he was long distressed. Before the ball ended, he had already claimed several dances with Beverly Howard, the daughter of a prosperous local tradesman and enough of a bluestocking to appreciate what he doubtlessly considers his "finer" qualities.

The cap of the whole sorry affair came later, when I asked Kathryn what the dev -- dickens she had been thinking when she introduced Barclay to Belle. She informed me quite coolly that, as second son of a well-born family (firstborn sons being beyond Belle's prospects owing to the stigma of her birth), Sir Reginald would be quite a suitable husband for Belle. When I suggested rather pointedly that they utterly lacked sympathy, Kathryn looked at me as if I were quite mad. "A husband," she told me, "is not for 'sympathy.' A husband is for giving a woman babies and supporting them."

My mouth hung open for several seconds before I could make reply. When at length I could speak, I said that I would not give Belle to any man she did not care for. At that, Kathryn told me that I was a romantic, that I could perhaps have my way if I were willing to buy whomever Belle fancied, but that more likely I was dooming that young woman to spinsterhood. I said that I would sooner see Belle a spinster than shackled to someone she neither liked nor respected.

Kathryn said that she would speak to me again when I was prepared to be reasonable, and departed the room. Feeling quite disinclined to yield to her concept of reason, I did not speak to her again until we said farewell at the end of the ball. (Indeed, I do not know that I would have spoken even then, save that it would have been most improper to do otherwise.)

And now...now I find myself asking whether Kathryn's comments only rankled as they applied to my hopes for Belle. It is true that I am quite determined to see Belle make a happy match, and to spare her the misery of an unhappy one. It is equally true that I will not require her to leave my home until she has found such a match.

And it is also true that I am planning to bind myself to a woman who thinks that the functions of a husband are stud and pocketbook. How did I not know this? Or did I know this? And have I been any kinder to Kathryn myself, as I chose her simply because I required a mistress for the Dorvan estates and a mother for the next generation of Darrows? I console myself that I did not choose her at random, but because of her wit and her strength, and our long friendship. But in my heart I wonder if I might as well have chosen her by lot.

For I do not love her. I would a thousand times rather break my betrothal with her than hurt the smallest hair of Belle's head.

I do not love her.

Why did I never realize that that matters? And what the devil am I to do now?

In confusion,
Chakotay