Notes: Hope this is an improvement over the first time it was posted. I actually didn't change too much. I added in a scene that wasn't there before and I deleted a scene that I thought would work better later.
Notes: From here on out the dates are not even trying to match the show. Things are not even going to happen in the order they did on the show. However, dates still will be important in terms of keeping track of how much time is passing.
Chapter 6: And Baby Makes Three
April 5, 1974
Lee smiled at Amanda encouragingly while she tried to feed Philip and eat her sandwich at the same time. She had taken to motherhood as easily as he had imagined her doing, but in his never-ending effort to place more space between them this had been the first time he'd seen her since Philip was born. He probably would not have even agreed to this lunch had she not started crying into the phone. Apparently, despite his prediction, Joe still hadn't gotten all that excited about having a baby around and Amanda was worried about things. Their marriage was still going well, and Joe still seemed as devoted to Amanda as ever, but he seemed to avoid Philip whenever possible and Amanda felt like he resented the baby although she was unsure why.
Catching the tiny sock that Philip had somehow knocked to the ground, Lee sat up straighter. Leaning over to place it on Philip's little foot, he didn't see the woman approach their table until after he heard her voice.
"Hello, Lee," she said, her voice clear, and just in case Lee didn't recognize the voice, she made sure there was no question as to who she was by adding, "and hello, Mandy."
Ignoring the brunette by Lee's side, Amanda looked at Lee, trying to take her cue from him.
"Eva," Lee stated matter-of-factly.
"Hello, Eva," Amanda added. "And it's still Amanda. Not Mandy." Her voice was firm and Lee could tell that Amanda hadn't warmed to Eva in the time since the women had last seen each other.
To the surprise of both Lee and Amanda, Eva took a seat. "Whose this?" she asked, although her voice left no doubt that she didn't care.
"This is Philip. My son," Amanda said, her voice tight.
Smiling at Lee warmly, Eva began telling Lee about her life since he had seen her last. She excluded Amanda from the conversation completely, but truthfully, no one noticed. Lee was too busy warning himself not to fall in love again, certainly not with Eva, and Amanda was wishing the same thing for him.
April 20, 1974
Philip snuggled against her side, Amanda reached to open the door. And then promptly gasped at the sight on her doorstep. Lee hadn't shown up unannounced and without tremendous pressure in more than a year. And when he did, he looked a whole lot better than this.
Wordlessly, she opened the door, and let him in. Wiping the tears from his cheeks, Lee sat down on the couch. "It was all a lie," he said and when Amanda said nothing, he continued. "It was all a lie. And I fell for it. Twice."
Lee told his story to Amanda in hushed tones, clearly embarrassed. Eva had managed to ensnare him once again and as a result he had nearly been killed. The only thing that saved him was the look on Amanda's face at lunch that day a few weeks ago. She had looked so skeptical of Eva that when Lee came across Eva's gun, he decided to play things safe and remove the bullets he had found.
Amanda, who had listened to Lee's story wordlessly, began to cry at this. "I almost lost you," she whispered. Clearly this was not the first time the thought had occurred to her since Lee began working with the Agency, but she had never said anything to Lee before and so her comment shocked him. He moved to her side, and engulfed her in a hug.
The two sat on the couch crying, Amanda for the possible loss of Lee, Lee for the loss of Eva, for the next several minutes.
It was later that night that the thought came to Lee. The last thing he was supposed to do was go to Amanda at times like this. He was trying to create a distance between them, her comment today clearly exhibiting why. Creating opportunities to sit in her living room holding each other for several minutes was hardly creating the space he wanted.
June 14, 1974
"Lee? Lee, answer the phone!" Amanda nearly shouted into the answering machine. Taking a deep breath, she continued, "Look, I don't know what you hope to accomplish by completely ignoring me, but I miss you. I'm also angry, but mostly I just miss you. You're supposed to be my friend Lee, please don't stop now." There was a few more minutes of silence. "Okay, well I guess here's to hoping that the silence on your part is because you're not home. If that is the case, please call me when you get home. I miss you. I miss the sound of your voice." Another pause. "And frankly, I could use the friendship right about now."
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Lee entered the apartment, closing the door soundly behind him. Without a word, he moved towards the kitchen and grabbed two beers from the refrigerator. Entering the living room again, he handed one beer to his companion. As she moved to nuzzle his neck, the blinking red light caught his eye. Stretching the slightest bit without disturbing the woman at his neck, he pressed play.
"Lee?" Amanda's voice filled the room and Lee's evening companion backed up in surprise. "Why haven't you called me?" the voice asked and the woman beside Lee raised her eyebrows at him. "Lee answer the phone!" Amanda's voice clearly got louder. "Look, I don't know what you hope to accomplish by completely ignoring me, but I miss you." Suzi's eyebrows somehow got even higher on her forehead and in an effort to recapture the moment, Lee leaned over to the answering machine, hit delete, and then in one swift movement wrapped his arms around Suzi, placing his lips over hers.
Amanda was out of both their minds in an instant.
December 10, 1974
"Randi, baby" Lee smiled as he opened the door. However, at the sight in front of him, the smile was gone. An eyebrow raised in question, Amanda stood in the doorway, Philip in one arm, a diaper bag in the other, and tear streaks adorning her cheeks.
Lee moved aside to allow her to enter. He hadn't seen her at all since that day he had realized that Eva was a KGB agent. He had been ignoring as many of her phone calls as possible and not agreeing to any of her lunch plans.
In the interim, Lee had made some changes in his life, changes he was not convinced Amanda would approve of. He had come to the conclusion that as was the case with Amanda, there were few people he should really be all that close to. And in that vein, had begun dating about four women simultaneously. He made no promises to them, and limited the amount of time he would spend with them. And inevitably, this had led to him not really dating anyone at all, but having casual, short relationships on a regular basis.
While this was not what he really wanted, he had come to understand that it was what made the most sense for him right now, and was beginning to enjoy the freedoms that came with this lifestyle.
He needn't have worried about Amanda's reaction. Once she sat down, she completely forgot about his "Randi, baby" at answering the door and didn't ask about him at all. This very fact caused Lee's concern to rise.
Settling Philip on her lap, Amanda looked up at Lee, her eyes wide. "Why did you never call me back?"
Lee stared at her, trying desperately to think of an appropriate response. At his silence, Amanda continued, "Didn't you get my messages? I told you over and over again that I needed a friend and you completely ignored me!"
"What?" Lee responded, incredulously. In truth, he hadn't even really heard her messages. After the one several months back where she yelled at him, he had stopped listening. That message had so upset Suzi he had simply begun deleting them before Amanda had a chance to say much. He didn't want to tell her that, though.
"My marriage is falling apart," she said matter-of-factly.
"What?" Lee repeated weakly.
"I'm pregnant," she said softly.
"What?" Lee asked again, incredulous. Did she just announce that she was pregnant? Why was this something to cause crying?
"I'm pregnant," she repeated. "I'm pregnant and Joe doesn't want the baby."
Lee sat down afraid his knees may buckle underneath him otherwise. He placed his hand on her knee, unsure what to say.
"He thinks I did it on purpose," Lee sat silently, shocked at what Amanda was saying. Amanda took his silence the wrong way and in a hurt and incredulous voice announced, "I did not! Of course not. Joe is hardly okay with Philip. The last thing I wanted to do was get pregnant again." She then burst into tears. Feeling awkward, Lee continued to watch her.
A few moments later, Amanda looked up, "But a baby… I always wanted two children. Why do I need to feel guilty about being pregnant?"
October 23, 1975
Amanda got out of the car, moving to the back to get both Philip and Jamie out of their car seats. Holding Jamie in her arms, and Philip's hand while he walked unsteadily towards the front door, she bit her lip to keep from crying. She wanted to call Lee, but she hadn't talked to him since the day she told him she was pregnant. He'd been avoiding her phone calls and a few times strange women had answered his phone – always a different woman Amanda had noted.
So much had changed in the past 10 months. Lee hadn't even met Jamie yet. And she really needed a friend tonight. But clearly, Lee was not intended to be that friend. She wasn't sure why she had even gone to him when she found out she was pregnant. He clearly wanted nothing to do with her anymore. She tried not to complete this train of thought – the two most important men in her life over the age of three, actually the two most important adults in her life period, had decided that they didn't want to be part of her life. What did this say about her?
She opened the door to the smell of meatloaf coming from the kitchen. "Hello?" she called out uneasily. She wasn't sure who was there, but doubted it was a burglar. It was unlikely that someone had broken in to rob her, but stopped to make dinner first.
Entering the kitchen slowly she looked in warily. "Mother?" she asked at seeing Dotty in the kitchen.
"Hi," Dotty said softly. "Is everything okay?"
Amanda nodded. "Let me put the boys to bed."
She came down to find a cup of hot tea and a plate with meatloaf and green beans waiting for her.
"Thank you, Mother," she whispered as she picked up her fork. The two women sat in silence, Amanda moving the food around her plate. Finally, she placed the plate down. "I'm so sorry, Mother. I'm just not hungry."
"Amanda," Dotty began hesitantly, "I've been thinking.… Raising two boys on your own is difficult," Amanda sniffled, but Dotty kept talking. "What if I moved in here and helped out?"
Amanda nodded, and quietly said, "Oh, Mother. I'd like that."
Dotty moved to Amanda's side of the breakfast bar and wrapped her arms around her daughter. Amanda cried on her shoulder, trying to block out the feeling of Joe's arms around her just hours ago. In a quiet voice, she asked, "Mother, why didn't he love me?"
Dotty's heart broke at the question. "He did, Sweetheart. He does. But Joe wasn't ready to have a family. You know he didn't mean to let you and the boys down."
Amanda nodded her head, but kept crying on her mother's shoulder.
To Be Continued…
