Chapter 2

Jed swerved the ship dangerously from side to side singing, "Lizzie Borden took and ax, and gave her mother forty wacks; when she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty one!"

"Stop! You're worse than Ani!" Obi-wan cried, his stomach wildly protesting the bumps and swerves.

"Ok, sorry." Jed apologized, "I will sing Loch Lomond. From the refrain! Oh! Ye'll tak' the high road an' I'll tak' the low road, an' I'll be in Scotland before ye; but I and my true love will never meet again, on the bonny, bonny banks o' Loch Lomond!"

"No, I didn't mean the song! I meant your flying! Be careful!" Obi-wan exclaimed.

"I am a perrrrrrfect flier!" Jed huffed, "Oh, and I bet you didn't know I was Scottish like you!"

"I'm not Scottish!" Obi-wan protested, "I don't even know where that is!"

"Well, sor-ry!" Jed sniffed, "You sound Scottish!"

"Well, blame Ewan McGreggor!" Obi-wan replied.

"Ugh. That's the guy who played Frank in Emma, right? Such a girly-boy! And that lame song he sings. 'Have you seen my lady, go down to the garden singing, shaming the rose and lilies, for she is twice as fair?' Or something like that. Gosh! I would just die if I was ever played by that guy!" Jed said snottily.

"You're cruzin' for a bruzin'." Obi-wan muttered.

"Now for another beautiful song!" Jed giggled.

"You're not Scottish either, you're like... something entirely different!" Obi-wan grumbled.

"There was a little man, and he had a little gun," Jed sang, "and his bullets were made of lead, lead, lead; he went down to the brook, and saw a little ducky, and... SHOT IT THROUGH THE HEAD, HEAD, HEAD!"

"Argggg!" Obi-wan growled.

Hours and hours later...

"Oh, Paddy dear, an' did ye hear the news that goin' round? The shamrock is by law forbid to grow on Irish ground! No more St. Patrick's day we'll keep, his color can't be seen, for there's a cruel law agin' the wearin' o' the Green!"

"Jed!" Obi-wan cried, "We're approaching a planet!"

"For they're hangin' men an' women for the wearin' o' the Green!" Jed sang, brushing away a few anti-British tears, "That was the Shan-von-Voght, a great Irish tune."

"Uh-huh, whatever." Obi-wan interrupted quickly, "There's a planet ahead. Is this where we're going?"

"Uh, no." Jed replied, "MORE SINGING! Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly!"

"I'm going to die!" Obi-wan moaned.

More hours later...

"...Though I probably will not exclaim as I die, oh willo-tit-willo-tit-willo!" Jed finished.

"That was random." Obi-was mumbled.

"Oh, look! Were here!" Jed shouted. He pointed at a giant, flying petunia.

"WHAT?" Obi-wan nearly screamed, "Hours and hours of bad singing for this? A stupid flower?"

"Wait!" Jed hissed. Sure enough the flower changed into a plate, a fish, a ball of yellow yard, and finally a spaceship.

"That!" Jed said in awe, "Is where we'll find Jedis!"