Oh yes… I've been a bad, bad person. I'm sorry to have kept you all hanging in the air for so long. The truth is that I've been having a bit of creative constipation. And no… banging your head against the table doesn't help. It just gives you a headache.

And now, without further ado…

Disclaimer: I do not know own Hellsing or the movie. Impure souls who sue me will be banished into eternal damnation. Amen.

LORD! IT'S A RING!

Part Three: Some Answers

(7 mins later…)

"YOU DID WHAT!"

"Please, Master, not so loud…"

The Hellsing Director's voice was amplified by the closed walls of the hidden room she and the vampire were standing in. Tucked behind the shelves of the library, it was one of the many secrets of the mansion that few knew about, not even Integra herself. Alucard had earlier pulled her down to safety through the floor above.

Though the vampire had saved the last Hellsing from certain death under the blade of the Ringwraith, Integra was still far from pleased, especially after hearing his explanation.

"This is-is RIDICULOUS! It doesn't make sense. It's IMPOSSIBLE!"

"Technically, Master, my being able to open portals for travel in the first place does defy logic."

"BUT WHAT IN GOD 'S NAME MADE YOU OPEN ONE INTO A TV SCREEN!"

"Well, Master, simply because I was bored. And curious."

To Alucard's great satisfaction, Integra's eyes widened with rage and directed another death glare into a brick wall. It was adjacent to the one he was currently leaning against, and she had completely no idea. Seeing in the dark was a privilege reserved only for vampires, and even as the formidable Master of one, she was still limited by human constraints. He toyed with the ring she had given him in his hand while enjoying the spectacle before him.

"I never realized it would have such terrible consequences."

That set her off again.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK ALUCARD!"

"I never asked that of you, Master…"

"I HOLD YOU RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS!"

"I humbly accept this responsibility…"

"FIX IT!"

At that moment, there was a rumble that seemed to shake the very foundations of the building itself.

"What was that?"

"Our biggest problem of all."

Despite saying so, the vampire didn't look the least worried. In fact, he seemed to find the whole crazy fiasco very amusing.

"Alucard… explain."

Integra crossed her arms and continued to stare angrily at the wall. Alucard reached out and waved a hand in front of her eyes, but her gaze never wavered. Her blue orbs were locked on what she thought was his face, a spot to the right of where he was leaning.

Withdrawing his hand, he let out a chuckle.

"I left the portal open in my haste to protect the staff from a scourge of orcs. I never expected anything else to come through…"

"What do you mean anything else?"

Another rumble.

"I'm afraid I cannot dally, Master, else the creature rip Hellsing from its roots."

"Creature?"

"You really would not want to know, Master."

He slipped the ring into an inner coat pocket.

"Do not worry, Master. I'll take care of it. Perhaps I could even have some fun in the process..."

And in a swirl of red and black, the vampire phased through the wall he was leaning against and disappeared.

"Alucard?"

Silence greeted Integra's query.

"Alucard… You can't just leave me here…"

She stood still for a moment in the inky black darkness.

"ALUCARD!"

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

(The Morning After…)

All over Hellsing, things were getting back to normal…

Well, as normal as they could ever hope to be.

In every part of the mansion, repairs were being made, messes cleared and injuries tended to. It was a blessing that there had been no FREAK attacks the night before. No one would have been fit enough to handle it.

The Kitchen

An extremely exhausted Walter entered the room to make himself a cup of coffee. He had been up nearly all night scrubbing stains, disposing of dead orc bodies and removing debris. After such heavy work, tea wasn't sufficient. A good strong dose of caffeine was what he needed. He could barely keep his eyes open.

He searched through all the cabinets, praying that the wizards had at least left the coffee powder alone. Indeed the white wizard had used every single last tin, packet and can in his attempt to fight the grey-clad one. It would be a miracle to even cook in this place again.

To his disappointment, the glass container was gone, but in its place was a packet of instant coffee sachets. It was just as well, perhaps, as he remembered that the milk and sugar would probably have been destroyed in the fight. Filling up a kettle and placing it on the stove, he leaned against the counter for a breather.

That was when his eyes fell upon a small envelope addressed to him. He picked it up and opened it, sliding out a slip of paper.

Dear Walter,

I'm sorry to leave you like this but I simply can't stay. You're real nice but I don't think Hellsing is a suitable place of work for me. Yesterday, I nearly had my head cut off by one of those nasty creatures. I really don't like to think what could happen next. You see, Marie's told me about what you lot really do here. Even though the pay's good, I just don't feel comfortable with the fact that you fight the Undead.

Enclosed with this note is my letter of resignation. Please pass it to SirLady Hellsing for me. I'll be honest, she scares the living daylights out of me sometimes so I daren't do it myself. I've packed my things and left for a friend's place. You can contact me at the address written on the back of the envelope.

Warmest Regards,

Annie

PS: I promise I won't tell anyone. But then again, no one would believe me anyway.

The retainer put down the piece of paper with a sigh. Hellsing would be lucky if any of the staff stayed on after this incident. There were already a few who were still too traumatized to talk. One of the chambermaids was still gibbering about monsters in the bathroom.

The scream of the kettle brought him back to reality and he walked over to take it off the stove.

The Infirmary

"Captain Bernadette?"

Seras was peering down at the Frenchman lying on the bed, his head swathed in bandages. He appeared to be unconscious or sleeping, his one good eye peacefully closed. Seras nudged him on the arm but there was no response.

She dragged over a chair from a corner and sat down by his bed. The Infirmary was packed with people injured from the orc invasion, and the small medical team had been struggling with the influx of patients. Since no nurse was available, she had decided to look for the Captain herself. She finally found him in a bed in one corner, near the window.

"Captain, I don't know if you can hear me… But I just want to say I'm sorry."

There was no response.

"I didn't mean to ignore you or anything…"

She halted for a moment, wondering if her voice was too loud. After all, she was separated from the next patient by a very flimsy screen. If any of the other men found out she was apologizing to the Captain she would die of embarrassment.

She cleared her throat.

"Like I was saying, I didn't mean to ignore you or anything… I was just thanking Legolas because he saved me from an orc."

The fact that he still appeared to be knocked out only served to encourage her further.

"I do admit… I was a little smitten by him, and I do recall hearing your shouts. But I really didn't think you were in any grave danger. "

She paused for a moment.

"That is… until you fainted in my lap."

And Seras, being the sweet person she was, began to blame herself.

"It's all my fault, I never should have been so weak in the first place. After all, I am a vampire now. I should have been able to protect you."

"I'm so sorry, Pip. Please wake up."

Suddenly, she stood up.

Was she imagining things, or had Pip's face twitched ever so slightly. With her improved eyesight she tended to notice things other normal humans would miss. There was no mistaking it. The corner of his mouth had moved.

She bent over him and studied his face.

"Captain Bernadette? It's Officer Victoria here."

She leaned closer.

"Pip? Pip, are you aw-mph!"

Seras never got to finish her question as Pip had suddenly raised his head and pressed his lips to hers.

He finally let go when she began to squirm.

"Itz alright, Cherie."

He sank back to the pillows with a sly smile on his face.

"You were awake!"

Seras glared at him.

"Of courze..."

"You tricked me!"

"I didn't want to interrupt…"

Seras gritted her teeth, her hands balled into fists.

"How could you! You made me so worried!"

"It was interezting… I wanted to hear what you had to zay."

"YOU WERE MOCKING MY CONCERN!"

"No, Cherie, honezly it waz just a joke… You zould have zeen your face."

He started laughing but stopped when he saw how Seras' eyes had darkened dangerously.

"Zeraz, pleaze, don't get zo angry..."

This was followed by silence interspersed with heavy breathing.

"Calm down…"

He began to get worried when he saw what she did next.

"Zeraz… Why are you taking that water ju-"

SPLASH!

Random cursing in French.

"Ha ha, Captain Bernadette. I hope you found that funny too."

The Office

Integra stood in front of the door to her office and peered through.

No, she had not developed X Ray vision.

There was simply a large hole in it.

It appeared as if someone had hacked through it with an axe.

Another item to add to my list… a new door.

Reaching out a hand, she clutched the doorknob and pulled

The doorknob came off, a piece of wood still attached to the brass base.

Integra blinked at it for a moment, and then flung it over her shoulder. It landed with a loud crash but she didn't bother turning. What was some more damage when half the mansion needed to be rebuilt.

Feeling utterly stupid, she pushed the door open instead. It swung on loose hinges with a groan. Stepping inside, she noticed that most of the splintered wood and shattered glass had been cleared, though she still didn't have a desk or chair to sit at or on.

Instead, most of her salvaged documents sat in neat piles. She found her cigar box placed on the top of some files and slid a stick out. Lighting it with the lighter from her pocket, she let out a weary sigh.

She crossed over to the window, which still lacked glass panes, and peered out over the Hellsing grounds. She couldn't help but cringe. The whole place was in a mess. It looked as if wild elephants had stampeded through the estate.

The Hellsing Director stepped back and drew the curtains shut, not wanting to think any more about the damage… or of anything at all. She already had a small migraine.

Her brooding thoughts were interrupted by a familiar cold presence in the room.

"Morning, Master."

Alucard sounded eerily cheerful.

Integra let out a stream of smoke.

"I see that most of the damage has been cleared."

Integra remained silent.

"I hope not too many were injured."

Still no response. Alucard probed her thoughts but drew up a blank.

"Master, are you giving me the cold shoulder?"

She wouldn't even give him her signature sideways glance.

"Oh well then I'll just run along and have a little late-morning snack before I-"

"Wait!"

The vampire turned around and looked at her. The blonde woman was still gazing at the closed curtains.

"What took you so long?"

"Excuse me, Master?"

"Alucard…"

She took a deep breath.

"Alucard… you left me in the dark for FIVE HOURS! WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU!"

Indeed by the time the vampire had taken her out of the room, she had been nearly delirious for a cigar.

"Oh, I was a little occupied."

"Pray tell… WITH WHAT!"

She was giving him the full force of her electric blue glare now.

"Oh… it's a surprise Master. You'll find out soon enough."

He bowed to take his leave and then disappeared through the floor.

Integra had no idea what he meant but didn't bother asking. Moving forward, she was surprised when her foot hit something that wasn't on the ground before.

Picking up a copy of "The Times", her eyes widened when she took in the newspaper's headlines as well as the blown up photo on the front page.

It was of a tall creature made up entirely of flame, with curling horns and a skull-like face. The monster's right fist was raised, and in front of it was the cracked remains of a domed building.

Above it, in big, bold writing:

FIRE MONSTER TRASHES VATICAN CITY

Reports pages 1-11 Pictures pages 1-20

Author's Note:

Ah! Finished at last! Omg I am soo happy. I hate leaving things undone.

Anyway the fire monster in question is the Balrog, an enormous fire demon that dwells in the dwarf mines of Moria. It was eventually vanquished by Gandalf as later seen in the sequel Two Towers.

This fic was largely based on Fellowship cos it's the movie with the least convoluted plot. :)

Anyway thanks so much for the reviews! And yes all you clever people guessed most of the ending. That should teach me a lesson next time I insert a cliffhanger. Lol.