Big Headmaster
AN: Nope still don't own it, yes still rated R, and we were slightly drunk when we wrote it… That's two warnings now, and no flames. Cazza's scared of fire…
Cazza:Kalan there is demand for us to write chapter 2; we need to write another chapter.
Kalan:Nooooooooooooooooooooo!
Cazza:…What was that for?
Kalan:I don't know I just felt like yelling Noooooooooooooooooo! It reminds me of how much pain we go through just to write together.
Cazza:I think that was an insult… Oh well at least I don't try and beat up the Weatherwoman.
Kalan:(Stops and glares, no comeback in mind)
Cazza:Any way we know that people liked what we wrote last time, oh and I'm sorry for any inconsistencies as I have never read Harry Potter, just watched the movies…
Kalan:What are you apologizing for? We can't apologize if we are going to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!
Cazza:(Gets teary eyed) …That was my line…
Kalan:(blinks) oh sorry.
Chapter 2 – The Rules
Hermione strolled in through the large double doors that led to the house on the outskirts of London. She stopped in shock as more than eight other people stood in the den. Harry stood in the corner, obviously chatting up Ginny Weasley. Ron stood in the center of the room quite bored, and looking really tired for some reason.
Even Malfoy was there, his evil little smirk twisting his face up. 'Mud blood.' He cackled to Crab and Goyle. Hermione ignored them and strolled over to Ron.
'Did you get an invitation too?' She asked.
'Yeah, Professor Dumbledore is going to announce the rules soon. Poor old fella could hardly walk. Must be hard being that old…' He trailed off. 'He smelt pretty funky too.'
Hermione shivered remembering the previous day and the smell that he had on him, 'I can't wait to see what he has planned. Did you hear the prizes if we win!'
'And all those points will go to Slytherin.' Malfoy cut in. 'You can bet on it.'
'Fine.' Hermione answered. 'You're on; who ever wins has to be the losers slave for a week.'
'A month.' Malfoy replied heatedly.
'A year.' Fred and George said in unison. 'Make it interesting.'
Hermione nodded. 'All right one year.'
They shook hands and then turned from one another. Suddenly Dumbledore was standing above them on the large stairs.
'Welcome students to Big Headmaster.' He yelled. 'This show will be broadcast across the wizard world. Now the rules are simple, you are known as Housemates. At the end of every week you will be asked to nominate one person for eviction. Be warned because failure means DEATH!'
The room gasped, when professor McGonigall stepped in. 'Please forgive the headmaster, he is a little unwell. You will not be killed if you are evicted from the house; you just have no chance to go after the money or house points.'
Dumbledore frowned. 'Psssh! They will be killed because I the king of the castle demand it so! Meddling woman…'
The room full of people breathed a sigh of relief. McGonigall counted the heads in the room. 'Professor we only have ten contestants, we need another two.'
'I know that woman!' He shouted at her. 'I'm going to make it interesting! No body just wants to watch these spoilt little brats!'
Everybody frowned as he finished. 'Apara!'
Meanwhile
1:25 am Longreach Australia
Two girls sat up watching television hoping to keep them selves awake before they had to catch the train to the city. It helped pass the day if they were asleep. Rene sat on the couch flicking through the channels, hoping to find something a little more interesting than the news. Cassie on the other hand had her legs draped over the recliner and giggled as she spoke to on of her other friends on the phone.
Rene rolled her eyes when Cassie gave an excited squeal and rammed her head under a pillow. She knew she shouldn't have allowed Cassie to have all that sugar after she had drunk the rum earlier.
When Cassie gave another squeal she sat up with the pillow in one hand and was just about to throw it when there was a pop and they were no longer in front of the TV.
Instead they were in a room with twelve people in it.
'You summoned some pathetic Muggles as the last two contestants?' a pale haired youth exploded, within moments the room was in disarray as everyone got into an argument over the two girls.
Rene and Cassie shared a look before turning to the two elderly couple who seamed to in charge.
'Where the bloody hell are we?' Rene asked.
'You're in Rosebury outside of London. You will be partaking in a game called big headmaster.' The old man said grinning wildly.
'Ewww!' Cassie shrieked. 'Dirty old man! I'm not being in your porno!'
Rene shuddered. 'I'm not into older men!' She changed her mind about hitting Cassie with it and threw it at the old headmaster instead. A puff of feathers went everywhere and the two girls burst out laughing.
'Can we go home now?' Cassie asked looking up to the sky, obviously still on a sugar high. 'I fell really cold, and these people look funny.'
Rene looked at the old man who was waving a strange stick around in the air. 'Infernum!' He yelled. The floor around them erupted into a ring of fire.
'EEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!' Cassie cried. 'I hate fire! I hate it, make it stop.' Her screaming got more and more high pitched until every one in the room had to cover their ears.
'Oh boy.' Rene said. 'Now you gone and done it! With that she took her pillow back and wrapped it around her head, covering her ears.
Dumbledore had dropped his wand in confusion and the flames instantly ceased, as did the screaming.
'She's not human she's a bleating Mandragora!' Malfoy yelled.
'What?' Harry yelled back. 'I think I'm deaf!'
Hermione sat on the floor with the biggest headache she'd ever had. 'Ow. A little warning next time would be lovely.'
Rene stood there with a smug grin on her face. 'Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.' She teased. 'Any way it serves you all right! You did kidnap us!'
The old man sneered. 'Not technically. You haven't had a hand laid on you and unless we take you physically it's not kidnapping.'
'And I'm sure you have plenty of experience with that.' Rene muttered.
'Phew your breath is funky!' Cassie swayed. 'Smells like Ol' Smuggler rum! Bloody Alcoholic!'
The old man stuck his tongue out. 'Blonde.'
'Cantankerous old fart.' Rene yelled.
'Idio-' Dumbledore started.
'Headmaster!' McGonagall yelled at him.
'What?' He asked feigning innocence.
'Can I kill him?' Rene asked looking at Cassie for permission.
She shrugged. 'I don't care.'
'Wait.' Dumbledore cried out waving his arms in protest. 'Don't you want to hear about the prize for the Muggles?'
They stared at him. 'We're listening.' They said in unison.
'One hundred thousand dollars.' Dumbledore beamed. 'Galleons if you wanna live in the wizard world.'
Cassie and Rene passed a look between themselves of silent understanding. 'We're in!' They laughed together. Rene leaned to Cassie, 'I'm still gonna kill him when we win.'
'Yep… That's cool. But I want all his Ol' Smuggler. That's the good shit.'
'Now as I was saying. Now the rules are simple, you are known as Housemates. At the end of every week you will be asked to nominate one person for eviction.'
'Kinda like Big Brother?' Cassie asked curiously.
Dumbledore stared at her. 'Big Brother, yes? I just love their uncut show.'
Rene's and Cassie's eyes widened with fear… 'Uncut, um pardon but when we shower do we have to get filmed.'
He thought for a moment. 'I dunno, hiccup I'll make it a choice.'
'We are screwed.' Harry said knowing his fate before they had even started as they were ushered through the large French doors.
