Raining cats, dogs and mutants

By Todd Fan

Disclaimer: "He ran into my knife...he ran into my knife ten times".

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Luckily the Rahne and Forge argument has been solved. After spending a LOOOOONG time talking, we agreed that Rahne would direct the dog actors, while Forge would direct Jamie and the humans...ahhh such sweet bliss.

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ACT 3 - Street savoir fair

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Jamie follows after Todd into a construction site, Todd still carrying the sausages.

"Hey, you really got that rhythm, kid", grins Todd.

"Uuuuhh...yeah? We were good, huh?", Jamie grins hopefully, "So when are we gonna eat?"

"We?", asks Todd, walking off, Jamie following him.

"Yeah, I'm starving!", says Jamie

"Listen, kid. I hate to break it to ya", says Todd, "but the dynamic duo is now the dynamic uno"

"Like the card game?", asks Jamie then frowns, "What do you mean?"

"What I mean is our partnership is herewith dissolved", says Todd.

He jumps into a pipe that's being carried up and along the yard by a crane

"Wait!", yells Jamie, "You're not being fair!"

"Fairs are for tourists, kid", says Todd, "Consider it a free lesson in street savoir fair, from Bayville's coolest quadruped. Check ya later"

"...You ARE talking like me", blinks Forge, "Quit it!"

"I direct the dogs, I tell him to quit it", sniffs Rahne, "Quit it, Todd!"

Todd hops from the pipe and starts off down the construction site. Jamie following close behind

"Hey, wait! I helped you get those!", shouts Jamie, "Half of those are mine!"

As Todd walks under a beam being lifted by the crane, Jamie runs on top of it, landing on a barrier in front of Todd, who smirks at him

"Ya want 'em? Come and get 'em"

He swings the sausages around his neck

"Do I have to howl?", he asks with a groan

"Yes", says Rahne, "'Tis easy, just throw ye head back and let it rip"

Todd looks at her and sighs.

"Hoooowwwwllll!"

Uh-huh

He jumps over the barrier

"But I'm warnin' ya kid", he shouts, then begins to sing.

One minute I'm in the New Mall

Then I'm down by Bayville High

Todd starts to jump across cars in the street, Jamie in hot pursuit, falling through a sunroof as Todd jumps on top of a cement mixer, stepping with it as it moves around

Say, from the river to the cove

There's a syncopated beat

Like I said

Whooo-hooo

Whoo-hoo-ooo

I'm street wise

Jamie takes a leap at him, falling off the truck and into the wet cement below. Todd kicks the funnel of the mixer, and slides down into the cement next to Jamie

"I hope I can get this out of my fur", Jamie pauses, "...I NEVER thought I'd say that"

"Eet doesn't come out unless you use paint thinner", nods Kurt sagely, "...trust me"

I can improvise

Said ooo-hoo

Whoo-hoo-oo

I'm street smart

I got Bayville city heart

He walks past Jamie and kicks in a fire hydrant, using the stream to wash his feet..err paws

Why should I worry

Why should I care

I may not have a dime

But I got street savoir fair

As Jamie runs towards him, he lifts his leg, so Jamie gets hit by a jet of water, causing two kittenples to form, then get reabsorbed. Todd crosses over a heating vent to dry off, Jamie trying the same and being carried up by the air

Why should I worry

Why should I care

It's just be-bopulation

I got street savoir fair

Jamie falls down from the vents all fluffed up

"I look like a beanie baby!", mutters Jamie.

Todd trails the sausages under and around a table where Tabby is selling sunglasses

Mmmm-hmmm

The rhythm of the city

Boy, once you get it down

Then you can own this town

You can wear the crown

As Jamie runs towards Tabby's stall, Todd tips it over, catching a pair of sunglasses on his face and walking off again

"I hope you're going to pay for that!", shouts Tabby.

"That from a kleptomaniac", mutters Todd under his breath.

Why should I worry

Tell me, why should I care

Say, I may not have a dime

Oh, but I got street savoir fair

Jean and Mystique, both dogs...female dogs, you could say they are...

"PG fic, PG fic!", screams Forge.

..Sorry. Jean and Mystique start to sway to the music as Todd leaps onto a piano as it's raised above the city, playing out a tune with his tail

Why should I worry

Why should I care

It's just doo-wopulation

And I got street savoir fair

Jean and Mystique, in a fit of musical keenness, sing along.

Everything goes

Everything fits

Todd grabs some flowers from the windowsill and throws them at Mystique and Jean, who giggle

They love me at the Gut Bomb

They adore me at the Pit

"For those not familiar with Todd Fan's work, the Pit is a bar..yeah", Forge pauses, "she hasn't mentioned that place in a long, long time"

Jamie has been walking along a window ledge when he makes a dive for the sausages, only sliding on the keys of the piano and falling down, hitting a few wind breakers before landing in a box of tomatoes, kittenplying again.

Why should I worry

Why should I care, yeah

And even when I cross that line

I got street savoir fair

Todd jumps down the same route as Jamie, but avoiding the fruit stand and landing on top of a car that Storm is driving

"MY CAR!", screams Storm

Whoo-hoo

Said ooo, whoo-hoo-oo

All the canine residents of Bayville look up and start to follow him, barking and yapping. Todd leans down from the top of the car and blows a raspberry at Storm, making her scream and slam on the breaks. He jumps off and carries on down the street

Whoo-ooo

Woo-hooo-ooo

Whoo- hoo

Woo-ooo-oo

"You're paying for that, you rotten frog-dog….thing", shouts Storm.

All the dogs howl at him as he goes into a side street, passing Bobby, Sam, Ray, Evan and Facade, now all rats

"...Well, THAT'S nice!", mutters Ray.

Whoo - hoo

Whoo-hoo- ooo

Also taken by the fit of musical keenness, the rats join in.

Whoo-hoo

Woo-hoo-oo

Todd carries on his merry way, unaware that Jamie is following him from the rooftops

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And there we go! Do review. Until next time…