Hello all, RickyRemembers here. This story is not mine, but instead Heartofthe-Dragonfly's. She is closing her account and wanted this story to remain on the site, so i'm hosting it for her. Leave some reviews and i'll make sure she gets them! Enjoy though! (And yes, it's done with permission people, dont be idiots!)
Kissing You
Disclaimer: The song is Kissing You by Des'ree. JK owns everything else. Everything except my Muse though, the Little Purple Bunny strikes again. Hehe.
Harry walked silently next to his best friend. He'd had the worst day of his life. Hell, every day was the worst day of his life. He'd flunked all kinds of tests, and he'd ditched half the day, unable to take it. Ever since Sirius died, nothing mattered. Nothing could take away the pain, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't laugh. Hermione and Ron had tried to help by being there for him but sometimes it was too much to take.
It was Christmas break of sixth year, and Ron was home with his family. Hermione hadn't gone home, because her parents were off in Paris for Christmas, but she didn't mind. Ron had invited them both, but Harry knew he couldn't bear to be around all that happiness right now. Hermione had politely declined as well, and Ron understood immediately; they didn't want Harry spending Christmas alone. Harry knew that was why she was staying, and he hated thinking how dull it must be for her.
They were walking around the grounds in the snow. It was Christmas Eve, and the castle was busting with holiday spirit from the staff and the students who had stayed. Harry had excused himself from lunch to go for a walk, and Hermione had hopped up with him. He had the feeling she wasn't letting him out of her sight; it was like he was on suicide watch. Which was ridicules, even for him.
He was startled out of his revere when a snow ball hit him directly in the face and he was knocked off balance. He heard Hermione laughing as he hit the ground, and his glasses were knocked off his face. He sat there in defeat for a moment before feeling around for his glasses. He saw Hermione's blurry hand reach into the snow and handed him (what looked like) his glasses. He put them back on and gave her a sour look, but she was beaming at him, and he found he couldn't stay angry with her.
"Ha, Ha, very funny Mione." He took the hand she offered him and stood, brushing snow off his robes.
"You just looked so serious, I couldn't resist." She clutched her stomach as she began to laugh again and he rolled his eyes, but he let himself grin a little at her.
"Oh really? I'll show you no restraint!" And with that he scooped up a handful of snow and threw it at her. She shrieked, but bent down to grab some more snow to defend herself with. The snow ball fight that ensued left them both covered in snow, lying on the ground next to each other. Hermione was still giggling, and Harry was panting heavily. He was sure they were at least a mile from where they had started from. He let himself smile at Hermione, writhing on the ground and trying to control her hyper-ness.
"Exhausted much?" He asked. She shook her head and didn't stop laughing. He spread his arms out and started to make a snow angel. Once he was done, he left his arms out and his legs spread and relaxed. He realized after a bit that Hermione had finally stopped laughing and was lying on her back, looking at the sky.
"Snow angel?" She turned her head to glance over his position and he nodded, not bothering to get up. They lay that way for a while, until they had cooled off enough that they could see their breath again.
Hermione scooted closer to him, and lay on her side, her head on his arm. He closed his eyes, letting her curl up next to him. Offering support and taking it. They stayed that way for what seemed like eternity.
Pride can stand, a thousand trials,
The strong will never fall…
Hermione raised her head, and Harry opened his eyes to find her propped up on her elbow, staring at him. He stared back at her thoughtful expression.
"Are you going to be okay Harry?" She asked at last, concern and question written all over her face.
"I don't know Mione." Harry turned his head back up to the clouds. He watched the shapes change from lions, to snakes, to clowns, to two people making love in the clouds forever.
"Everyone's really worried about you Harry." Hermione said at last, and he looked at her again.
"Everyone…" He repeated, wondering if that was true. He doubted many people care that the boy-who-lived was dying inside.
"Well… Me and Ron, for example. Me, a lot." She looked down at her free hand that was drawing shapes in the snow.
But watching stars without you,
My soul cried.
"Sorry." He mumbled. Her gaze snapped up to his. "For making you worry."
"Harry, don't be sorry for being human. You can't be sorry for hurting." She shook her head, letting her gaze drop back to her hand.
"Why not?" He asked. He studied the confused look on her face… and the way her hair was falling around it… her eyes burning into him…
"Well… because. You can't. It's like… being sorry for breathing, and its something you have no control over." She was pretty good at rationalizing. But he was sorry for hurting… himself, and everyone else.
"Well I still am." He mumbled at last. He heard Hermione sigh, and he cursed silently for making her worry again.
"Harry… you'll always have us, you know. And I'll always be here for you. When you hurt, we hurt. When you bleed, we bleed. When you're happy, we're happy. You make so many things seem so amazing… I guess I'm just really glad you're my friend." She finished. She lay back down on his shoulder and put her arm across his chest. His breath caught in his throat when he felt her breath on his neck. Hermione was the closest friend he'd ever had, and yet he felt they were being to intimate. They were acting like… they were lovers, instead of friends.
Heaving heart is full of pain,
Oh, oh, the aching.
"What do you think will happen to us, Harry?" Hermione asked at last. Harry stiffened a little, wondering if she meant what he thought she did. He decided he must have misunderstood.
"What do you mean?" He asked slowly.
"You, me, and Ron. What's going to happen to all of us when the war comes? What about when we graduate. Do you think we'll still be close friends, or shadows of what was? Don't you ever think about it?" Phew. She raised her head a little, and he fought the disappointment as she shifted away from him slightly.
"I don't know. I hope we'll still be friends. You and Ron are the closest thing I've ever had to family. Besides Sirius…" He trailed off. It was too painful to talk about. Hermione found his hand and gave it a comforting squeeze before letting go. He tilted his head a little so it rested against hers. "I hope we'll always be friends." He whispered.
"Me too." She said quietly. They stayed that way for a while longer, and Harry let himself relax again, comforted by her presence. He found himself suddenly glad his friends were keeping such a close eye on him; it really was helping.
"There ye are!" A voice boomed from behind them. They both sat up and turned around to see Hagrid. "I erm, ain't interrupting anythang I hope?" Hagrid said.
"No Hagrid, what's going on?" Hermione asked, starting to stand up. Harry stood and offered her a hand.
"We're starting the Christmas dinner soon, and I've been sent to round up all the strayin' students. So go on with ye, get inside." He shooed them toward the doors, and they walked back silently.
Once inside, they made their way to the great hall and took off their scarves and winter clothing in favor of regular robes. The feast was wonderful, full of Christmas treats. Afterwards, Harry, Hermione, Neville, and Lavender walked back to the common room. They were some of the only ones in their year staying the holidays. Once inside, Lavender passed through the archway before Neville, but Hermione and Harry went through together. Neville watched them as they did.
"Stop!" He commanded, holding up his hand. They did as they were told with confused looks on their faces. Neville simply smiled and pointed up. Harry looked up to see Mistletoe hanging in the archway, and he and Hermione were directly underneath it. "You're under the Mistletoe. Now you got to kiss, or your love lives will be cursed forever!" He folded his arms, and Lavender nodded enthusiastically behind him.
"That's ridicules, you made that up!" Hermione accused. Harry nodded.
"Yeah, it's just a silly tradition for actual couples." He said, but Neville shook his head.
"Neither of you are leaving that archway till you pucker up." He pulled out his wand, as a half-threat.
Harry looked nervously at Hermione, who sighed and turned to him. Slowly, he leaned down towards her, and gently pressed his lips to hers.
'Cause I'm kissing you, oh.
I'm kissing you.
Surprisingly, it didn't feel like he thought it would. He and Ron had wondered if kissing Hermione would be like kissing a sister, but it wasn't like that at all. It was actually so intoxicating, that Harry didn't want it to end. It wasn't until Hermione slowly pulled away that he was forced to open his eyes. His green eyes met her brown ones, and they looked just as shocked as he felt. He tried to offer what was a friendly smile, and he saw her smile a little in return.
"Well… Night then." Neville raced up the stairs to his dorm, and Lavender ran up to the girls dorms giggling wildly. Harry sighed. This was definitely going to be awkward.
"Okay, so we kissed…" Hermione met his eyes again. "No big deal."
"Right, not a problem at all." He nodded, trying to convince himself it was true. Kissing Hermione had felt unbelievable, and he was fighting the urge to do it again. He went over to the couch by the fire and sat down.
"Aren't you going to bed?" Hermione asked after a moment's silence. He shook his head.
"Maybe in a little while." Like when his head stopped spinning, maybe. Hermione came over and joined him on the couch, posture straight as always.
"Well I'll stay up a while too then." Simple as that. He rolled his eyes.
"Honestly Hermione, I'm not going to get hurt or run away while you're sleeping." He chided, and she glared at him.
"Well fine, if you wanted to be alone you could have just said so--" She stood abruptly, her cheeks growing red, and Harry reached out and grabbed her hand.
"No. I mean, err…" He loosened his grip on her hand. "Stay, if you like." Was all he could squeeze out. She looked at him a minute and sat back down.
Then there was silence. They sat there, and slowly, Hermione slouched back against the couch, and Harry smiled at her as she tried harder and harder to stay awake.
"Mione," Harry leaned over and nudged her gently, and she started a bit. "Mione, go to bed." He smirked at her sleepy expression.
"Not that tired." She was stifling a yawn, and he leaned back against the couch and watched her. They were silent for a few more minutes, her staring at the fire, and him staring at her. "That was weird." He looked at her in confusion.
"What was?" He asked. She straightened up a bit, and turned ever so slightly to face him.
"Kissing you. Well it wasn't weird… but it was, you know?" She said, he nodded, and chuckled a little. That was the first time he'd ever heard Hermione unsure of what she was saying.
"It was a bit odd, wasn't it? I don't think Neville actually expected us to do it." He laughed again.
"He was awfully quick on the get away, wasn't he?" She laughed a little too.
"Probably thought you were going to turn him into a toad or something." Harry turned to look at the fire, ignoring her half-hearted glare.
"Did you like it?" Her question snapped his gaze back to her quizzical look, and she blushed and looked away.
"Did you?" He shifted closer to her.
"Sorry, silly question, I'm just…" She looked in his eyes again.
"Tired." He finished for her.
"Yeah." She made no move to get up though.
"Did you? Like it, I mean." He asked again. She shifted uncomfortably.
"I asked you first," she retorted with a small smirk. He smirked back at her.
"That's right, you did." He looked at the fire again.
"Well?" she asked impatiently.
"Are you so anxious to find out?" He teased. His smile grew wider when she shifted again.
"No…" for the second time that night, Hermione was at a loss for words. He liked having this kind of power over her. He shifted closer to her again.
"Yes. Or at least I think I did. I don't really know." He said at last, but he figured that probably wasn't the right thing to say, because Hermione frown.
"How can you not know?" she asked. She was clearly a little frustrated.
"Your turn." He ignored her question in favor of his own. She shrugged ever so slightly.
"I guess I don't know either." She looked up at him, and he wondered why he'd never realized how pretty she was when she was all flustered like that. The way her hair framed her face, the nervous look in her eyes, her cheeks just a light tint of pink. For being her best mate, he sure felt like there was a lot he didn't know about her.
"Shall we try again then, and make up our minds?" He dared to ask. Hermione bit her lip, but she nodded. He moved closer to her, until his face was just a few inches apart from hers. She was the one who leaned in further to initiate the kiss this time, but he wasn't complaining.
He raised one hand up to her face, and he felt her arm snake around his neck. He opened his mouth just slightly, and felt her do the same, and before he knew it his entire world was spinning. Spinning in a dizzying rush of excitement he'd never felt before. He lazily reached for her free hand, and he entwined her fingers with his own.
Kissing Hermione didn't feel like kissing any other girl. It didn't feel like being with Cho or Ginny. Cho's kisses had only stirred feelings in his body. Ginny's had been clumsy and uncomfortable. But Hermione's were graceful and passionate, and it felt like their souls were kissing. 'Maybe,' he thought, 'this is how it is when your mind and your body and you soul and your heart are all in total agreement with one another.'
Touch me deep, pure, and true,
Gift to me forever
'Cause I'm kissing you, oh.
I'm kissing you.
When they finally pulled apart Harry waited before opening his eyes, afraid that if he did he might find out it was all a dream.
"Okay, so I think I made up my mind." Hermione giggled breathlessly. "What about you?" she leaned her head against his and he finally opened his eyes.
"Yeah. Me too." He smiled back at her, and neither of them moved from their positions.
"Remind me to thank Neville." Hermione giggled again, dropping her head a little as she did so. And he found himself laughing with her; really laughing, for the first time in months.
"So, what did you think?" He asked at last. She looked up at him against, her eyes sparkling with amusement.
"I think you must have had a lot of practice." He laughed at her again, and he thought about disentangling his hand from her hair, where it had wondered during the kiss. "But I also think, I'd like to make that a regular thing." She whispered. He looked in her eyes and smiled.
"That could be arranged." She giggled again, and seeing her so uncontrollably happy made him smile even bigger, if that was possible.
"You know what I think?" He asked, leaning his head against hers again.
"What's that?" she whispered.
"I think, Hermione Granger, that I'm going to kiss you." And with that he pressed his lips to hers again, and let his soul kiss hers.
Where are you now?
Where are you now?
'Cause I'm kissing you.
I'm kissing you, oh.
'Cause I'm kissing you.
I'm kissing you, oh.
