Raining cats, dogs and mutants

By Todd Fan

Disclaimer: "I'm only an elected official here, I can't make decisions on my own!"

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ACT 6 - Got to pick a pocket or two

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The next morning, Bayville is once again bustling with people, Jason drives around town on a scooter that keeps backfiring, the dogs and cat in a small basket in the back.

"...Is this thing safe to drive?", asks Jason dubiously.

"Of course it is", says Forge, "I made it"

"...They're going to have to identify me by my dental records", Jason sobs, "..I can see it now.."

"...Just act!", snaps Forge.

"This is the big one. We've got two days to do or die", says Jason, "Todd, you keep an eye on the new kid. Show him the ropes"

Todd nods and gives Jamie a noogie

"Messing. Up. Fur!", growls Jamie.

"I don't wanna put any undue pressure on you", says Jason, "but..as you march on to do your duty, I want you to keep one thing in mind"

He drives the scooter into a deserted alley and promptly crashes it

"Hey, watch the merchandise!", shouts Forge

"Oww...Dead men do not buy dog food", he says, "There's an analogy for you!. So, big smiles, and get out there, and FETCH!"

With that, the dogs and Jamie jump out of the basket, as Jason speeds off, nearly chocking them all with the fumes from the scooter

"This isn't good for my allergies", says Freddy

"All right, if Mr Summers don't see some cold, hard cash soon, we are Doberman chow", says Todd, "Come on, we'll start on Maggie Blue Road"

"Hint hint hint", says Rahne with a giggle.

"Stop giving away the plot!", snaps Forge

As the gang walk down the street, Jamie follows with them

"What kind of work do we do anyway?", asks Jamie

"Investment banking, man", grins Roberto

He picks up an apple from a stall and tosses it to Hank, who eats it

"Didn't you hear about us in the Daily Bugle?", adds Roberto.

"Really?", Jamie rolls his eyes, "...man I'm so gullible"

"Indeed", says Hank, "Captains of industry"

"Gosh...", Jamie pauses, "who says 'gosh' anymore? Can I be one too?"

"Hey, when you got your pals, you got all you need", says Todd.

"Okay Todd", grins Jamie

"We gotta clean you up, child", says Wanda, "and give you some on-the-job training"

Oooooh yeah

Now listen up

You got a lot to learn

And if you don't learn you don't eat

"You sing like an angel, babycakes", smiles Todd.

"Shut up, Toad", says Wanda

Wanda stops Jamie from crossing the street as a bakery van drives by, a bread loaf falling off, hitting Freddy on the head before Todd catches it and throws it at Roberto, knocking him over

"...My spleen", whimpers Roberto as Wanda continues to sing.

But if you're tough

And always use your head

You'll be right at home on the street

They cross the road and Jamie runs headlong into a lamppost, kittenplying

When you've got talent

Everything is free

Watch how we do things

Oooh I guarantee

The group start to cross another road, dancing and singing, Jamie following them at the same time

You're gonna see how

The best survive

We make an art out

Of staying alive

If you do just as you're told

These are streets of gold

Jamie tries to mimic their dancing walk, only almost getting mowed down by the cars, Todd grabbing him and carrying him to the other side

Every boulevard is

A miracle mile

You'll take the town

And you'll take it with style

If you play it brave and bold

These are streets of gold

Jamie lags behind the group again, running once more into Logan the dog, who growls and chases him, running into the entire group, who snarl at him and make him run off

"They're gonna mob me!", screams Logan

Jamie bounces up and down, barking like a dog, before the gang laugh and run off, before Todd stops dead, causing the other dogs to run into him

"Hello?", grins Todd, "What have we here?"

They notice a big limousine start to drive towards them

"All right, a chauffeur shuffle!", grins Roberto.

"Listen up. Freddy, gimmie a fender bender at two rights", says Todd.

"Yeah", says Freddy dryly, "Blob smash good"

"Roberto, you're in charge of electronics", says Todd, "Wanda and I'll work the crowd. Hen-ry"

"I know", says Hank with a defeated sigh, "My public awaits...there has to be better acting jobs out there than this"

"Hey, what about me?", asks Jamie, "What do I do?"

"You help Roberto", says Todd

(Roberto grins and flings a fore-leg around Jamie's shoulders

"All right! Come on, gato", he says, "Uncle Roberto will show you how it's done"

"If you were my uncle, I would hurt myself", says Jamie, "badly"

"Ready?", asks Todd, "Go!"

With that, the gang run off to do their duty

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Onwards HOOOOOOOOOO!