AN: Thank you to the guest reviewer, I really appreciate you leaving your comment. That you think it's well written means a lot as I put a lot of effort into this fic and have done for the last couple of years as I write and have been posting! Much love!


Chapter 39: I'm trying to hold my breath


1st September 1994

It was becoming a bit of a tradition now; standing in front of the Hogwarts Express and taking stock of what had happened in her life. Every year, things seemed to get more and more convoluted, to the point where Halley wasn't even sure she would be able to keep track of it.

Still, at least she didn't have the same levels of anxiety choking her like she did last year. Riddle's methods - whatever they were - worked. Her emotions were still in check, and so long as she managed to keep them that way, this year had the potential to run smoother.

Things weren't comfortable yet; Riddle's warning about Voldemort's and Dumbledore's new interest in her life meant that she wouldn't be able to slip up without alerting the other that something bad was happening. But she could keep her head down this year if she tried. Keep her head down and learn from both men.

With that resolve firmly planted in her mind, Halley stepped onto the Express and found the compartment she hoped Parkinson and Greengrass would be in. Old habits died hard, so it seemed, because the two of them were already there, chatting and sharing a small box of Every Flavour Beans. When Halley entered the compartment, Greengrass smiled at her.

"Hello, Halley. Pansy and I were wondering when you would get here."

Halley sat opposite the two of them, feeling somewhat out of sorts at Greengrass' warm welcome. She declined the bag of sweets when she was offered them. "Well…I'm here," she said.

"Evidently," Parkinson said. "How did you fare this summer?"

"Fine. The heat was almost unbearable, though."

"Right," Parkinson said. "And your Muggles?"

Why was Parkinson pushing this? "They were fine too," she said. "How was your summer?"

"We spent the summer in Paris," Parkinson said. "Mother was happy to get away from the humidity, though father generally dislikes French cuisine."

Halley nodded, and the other two talked some more about their summer. She didn't have to put a lot of effort in to pay attention because it seemed to be very similar each year. There was some sort of party, someone got on Parkinson's nerves, Greengrass talked a little about her sister or her family, and Halley would stay quiet. She expected it to be the same, but then Greengrass diverted the conversation.

"Father gave me some very odd advice before I boarded the train," Greengrass said.

"What was it?" Parkinson asked.

Greengrass frowned, seemingly trying to recollect the wording. "He said…try and stay neutral this year. That…I should watch and wait, and make a more informed decision on where to go next year."

"That is incredibly vague. Wasn't there any more context?" Parkinson asked, frowning.

"No," Greengrass shook her head. "He took me to the side and that was all he said."

"Do you think it was in relation to what happened this summer?" Parkinson asked, slowly.

Halley wondered if either of them would bring up the Death Eater attack. She had learnt via Muggle news that there had been a terrorist attack in a large field close to where she knew the Quidditch World Cup was supposed to be held this year. When Riddle had told her that Voldemort had come back, she put the two together.

Mrs Figg had elaborated on it further, which was better than having to wait to get back into the Wizarding world in order to gain any information. The woman was on Dumbledore's side, but at least she provided access to key news. Halley hadn't been allowed out of her house after the attack. She'd gotten a letter from Dumbledore telling her that she would get an escort to the platform, and that's what had happened. An Auror with a questionable blue hair colour escorted her to the station, talking with her the whole way there.

But from the moment she'd heard about the attack, she wondered how the dynamics would change in Slytherin. After all, it was well known that Voldemort had recruited from his old house.

A crinkling sound came from Greengrass as she clenched the sweet box too tightly. "I don't know…We got caught up in - no one was hurt. But -" Greengrass swallowed. "Why wouldn't he have said it sooner? And how would what happened relate to me?"

Parkinson didn't say anything for a moment. Neither of them did. "I don't know," she said eventually. "But what else could it mean?"

"I saw it - the mark," Greengrass said, quietly. "It was in the sky - huge and ugly and…terrifying."

She was silent for what felt like ages, but then Greengrass seemed to shake herself out of it, and she smiled a tight-lipped smile. "Rita Skeeter wrote that report, basically condemning the Ministry and its security. It's possibly the first truthful thing she's published."

"I suppose so," Parkinson said, slowly. "I'm glad no-one was hurt though, Daphne. Was Astoria alright?"

Her tight smile turned into a thankful one. "Yes. Tori didn't stay the night – she couldn't. Mother said it was someone messing around, but…"

And that was the crux of the matter, wasn't it? Halley forgot that the two of them didn't know it was real. That, even if it wasn't orchestrated by Voldemort himself, he was back. What she didn't know, though, was whether it was better for them to remain ignorant, or to have the truth. The truth wouldn't make it any easier for them - it would probably be worse. But would they want to know?

Could she even tell them?

If she did, they would ask how she knew. She couldn't tell them that Riddle had told her. And she didn't want to tell them that Dumbledore had told her.

She could just say that she knew, and that was that, but it still meant they would have this knowledge and not be able to do anything with it. And that was almost more agonising than having to do something.

But then Davis came in, and Halley couldn't imagine talking about it.

Davis ignored her as she sat in the seat next to Halley and began asking the other two how their summers had gone, completely blind to the awkward tension in the room. Parkinson was the first to break it.

"I'm sure your father was just being cryptic. Isn't he prone to dramatics? Mine can be - though Mama did say I should be more welcoming this year. I wonder why."

It was interesting to see the way Davis' face fell for the shortest time before she put on a smile again. Parkinson was effective at making it clear just how on the edge of their…group Davis was, but for whatever reason, Davis refused to take the hint.

"What was that, Pansy?" she asked.

Parkinson looked at her through a side glance and took a bean from Greengrass' crumpled cardboard box. "Oh - earwax! Disgusting!"

Halley glanced briefly at Davis from her peripheral vision and then, out of pure spite, smiled. "I've always wondered how people knew the gross flavours without having first-hand experience."

Parkinson rolled her eyes at Halley. "I don't like what your insinuating, Potter," she said. But there was no edge to her voice.

Greengrass giggled. "I mean, it's true. Just how did you know what earwax tasted like?"

"Oh, shut up!" Parkinson said, smiling.

Halley let out her own little laugh, taking another look at Davis. She was as stiff as a rock, her hands digging into the skirt material on her lap. Not so great now, are you?

Davis still didn't leave, but the rest of the train ride she was much quieter than she was last year. Halley didn't care - the girl was annoying, and still seemed to have it out for her.


The train arrived at Hogsmeade at its usual time, and Halley was thankful that there weren't any signs of Dementors around. There shouldn't have been - Black had escaped Hogwarts, and the school had seen how badly the Dementors had affected everyone. But she'd still worried that they would be there. Waiting for her.

The odd horses were there though, waiting to pull them in the carriages, and Halley swallowed at the sight of them. They weren't really horses, she knew that. For one thing, they had wings. For another, they looked slightly reptilian.

The one in front of her was completely fleshless, but its skin was almost translucent and glossy, making them seem grey in the moonlight. But when the moon hid behind the clouds, its body was black and skeletal, bony wings that were similar to a bat mounted on its back. Every bone was visible and she could see its pupil-less eyes, white and staring straight ahead.

If she was close enough, Halley was sure she would be able to see her reflection in it, but she didn't want to get that close.

Standing there, in the dull black of the night, it looked eerie. Almost…sinister.

"What are you waiting for, Potter?" Parkinson called. She was waiting, her foot half inside the carriage as she held the door. "Are you walking to the castle then?"

Halley turned away from it. "I - they're just creepy," she said.

"What are?"

"Those things - what are they?" she asked.

Parkinson looked where Halley had been starring, and then back to her. The confusion was very clear on her face. "I don't have time for jokes, Potter. It's cold, and the rain is ruining my curls."

Halley looked back over her shoulder, just to make sure she wasn't going crazy, but the horse things were still there. They seemed to be grazing. "The things pulling the carriage - can't you see them?"

Parkinson's frown changed to one of recognition, then again to disapproval. She closed the carriage door and turned to look at Halley fully. "You can see - get in the carriage. I'll tell you about them later," she said.

"What -"

"For fuck's sake - later, Potter !" Parkinson hissed, and dragged Halley by the hand and towards the carriage.

Halley pulled free, glaring at Parkinson, but the girl ignored her to open the carriage door and get inside. Halley followed, trying to stay as far away from Parkinson as she could, gripping her wrist in her other hand and massaging it slightly.

There was quiet chatter among everyone in the carriage until they got to Hogwarts where they went to their table and sat.

From her side, Halley heard a gasp.

"Nariyah?!"

She looked, and Theo Nott was staring at the staff table, slack jawed and very, very, confused. When Halley looked, the first thing she noticed was that there were a lot more empty seats than normal. The Groundskeeper was only just coming in behind the First Years, Professor McGonagall wasn't there, the DADA seat was empty, but in Snape's seat was a brown woman with extraordinarily curly hair, sitting slumped forwards with her chin in her hand.

"You know her, Nott?" Someone asked.

"She's…a family friend," he said.

"Lucky you, the person said.

Halley ignored them from then on. The woman - Nariyah - wasn't paying much attention to anything. She was looking up at the enchanted ceiling, blinking in time with the sudden lightening.

She only sat up straight when McGonagall placed the stool and hat on the chair, and it began its song. The woman looked at the hat with interest, focusing on it as it sang. She didn't clap with everyone else when it was finished, but she did smile a little.

She was obstructed by Dumbledore as he stood up and drew the room's attention. The movement broke Halley's thoughts, and she realised that she'd been staring at the woman like a stalker.

The new students were sorted - only two in Slytherin - and then the food came. But Halley wasn't hungry, and neither were the rest of her peers. All their focus was on the woman who sat in Snape's chair eating dinner without a care in the world.

"Why hasn't he started by introducing the new professors?" Greengrass asked.

"Because he likes seeing us suffer," Parkinson said. She refused to look at the head table, cutting into her potatoes and carrots with unusual focus. "We've waited all summer to hear if Professor Snape was coming back - and he's not."

Greengrass placed a gentle hand on Parkinson's' shoulder, but she ignored it.

"Who is she, Nott?" Greengrass asked.

Nott swallowed his food and sighed. "Her name is Nariyah Daugher -"

"Not one of us, then," Parkinson said.

"She's from Egypt," he said with bite. "Her family is well known internationally. But I don't know whether she's here just for Potions, or if she's our Head of Year as well."

"Regardless," Parkinson sniffed. "She knows as much about Hogwarts as we know about her. She's not going to be able to help us much."

Nott clenched his jaw. "Maybe we should wait to see what position she's going to fill."

Greengrass sighed. "Pansy is right, though. Professor Snape understood how the school works. Despite the favouritism, he was the only way we managed to get a fair deal. A new person - one that hasn't even been to Hogwarts - isn't going to understand."

It was true, but still…something about the woman felt familiar. Halley was sure she'd never seen her before, but she still felt like she knew that face - or…maybe it wasn't her face. It was niggling in her mind though, and it would frustrate her until she figured it out.

Soon enough, though, the food was finished and cleared away. Dumbledore rose once more, and the room went silent. "So, now that we've all been fed and watered, I have a few notices." His smile didn't reach his eyes this year.

"Mr. Filch has asked me to tell you that the list of objects forbidden inside the castle has this year been extended to include Screaming Yo-yos, Fanged Frisbees, and Ever-Bashing Boomerangs. The full list can be viewed in Mr. Filch's office, if anybody would like to check it. As ever, I would like to remind you all that the forest on the grounds is out-of-bounds to students, as is the village of Hogsmeade to all below third year. It is also my painful duty to inform you that the Inter-House Quidditch Cup will not take place this year."

A wave of gasps and exclamations rolled throughout the Great Hall as students from every house expressed their disbelief and annoyance.

Halley frowned. Was it because of Riddle? They hadn't cancelled matches last year - not till there had been Dementor attacks on the pitch. So why this year?

The students were starting to get rowdy at the news now. Seeing this, Dumbledore lifted his hands to quiet them down again. "This is due to an event that will be starting in October, and continuing throughout the school year, taking up much of the teachers' time and energy - but I am sure you will all enjoy it immensely. I have great pleasure in announcing that this year at Hogwarts -"

A deafening rumble of thunder roared as the doors of the Great Hall opened. Halley yelped and flinched at the noise, feelings of panic encompassing her as she was thrown back to images of Vernon slamming the cupboard doors closed on her as he locked her away.

It took a moment to remember that this wasn't the Dursleys. That she was in Hogwarts, and she could breathe easier.

When she looked up, a man, shrouded in a black travelling cloak had started walking - limping - up towards the head table. Intermittent thunks rhythmically echoed through the hall on his every other step until he reached Dumbledore, and he took off his hood.

Every inch of his skin seemed scarred. There was a diagonal slash across his mouth, splitting it into a mismatched farce of a smile. The only thing more alarming was the large chunk of missing nose and the large, round, vivid electric blue false eye that whirled around his head at a frantic pace, never once blinking.

The man reached out his hand - it was as badly scarred and mis-formed as his face - and Dumbledore shook it before words, too low to be heard, were exchanged between the two of them. Then, the man sat down in what they all knew to be the Defence professor's chair.

"May I introduce our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher? Professor Moody." Dumbledore introduced him into silence. Not a single person moved or breathed too loudly as Professor Moody 's electric blue eye darted around restlessly, then going so far around that all they could see was the whiteness of it.

Someone - a Ravenclaw First Year - squeaked in fear, but the man seemed indifferent to it. He poured himself a glass of pumpkin juice, then reached into his cloak and pulled out a hip flask. He then proceeded to take a long drink from it, washing it down with the juice in front of him.

An alcoholic? Halley couldn't believe that this man was supposed to teach them Defence.

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "As I was saying, Hogwarts will be hosting, for the first time in over a century, the Triwizard Tournament over the coming months."

"WHAT?!" A voice called out. The tension from Moody's entrance was broken and the buzz grew almost unbearably loud.

Dumbledore's next words cut through it like a knife. "The Triwizard Tournament was first established seven hundred years ago between Hogwarts, Beaubatons and Durmstrang - the three largest European schools - as a way to establish ties between young witches and wizards of differing nationalities, however the number of students who died in the tournament grew to be too high and it was discontinued.

"The departments of International Magical Cooperation and Magical Games and Sports, and the heads of the competing schools have only agreed to reinstate it under certain conditions; due to the dangerous and difficult nature of the tasks, only students of age will be allowed to put their names forward to compete."

Several students made noises of outrage at the statement, but Dumbledore's sharp gaze cut the noises down.

"There will be no discussion about this," he said, sternly. His voice rang through the hall, echoing the firmness of his message. "These last few years, students have been put in harm's way. As your guardians, we cannot allow reckless endangerment. I will personally be ensuring that no underage student is able to participate."

His eyes swept over the four tables, and somehow, it seemed like Dumbledore was able to gaze into the eyes of every student there. Those students who had seemed to be on the edge of a shouting match sat back in their seats, heads tucked down.

He cleared his throat. "The heads of Beauxbatons and Durmstrang will be arriving in October, and the selection of the three champions will take place at Halloween. An impartial judge will decide which students are most worthy to compete for the Triwizard Cup, the glory of their school, and a thousand Galleons personal prize money.

"As tempting as the reward may seem, I urge each and every one of you who are considering the Tournament to truly think about what is instore for the Hogwarts representative. The tasks have not been, and nor will be, easy to accomplish. Many have been seriously injured. Please, think carefully over the next month for, once the Hogwarts representative is chosen, you will not be able to back out of the tournament."

Halley looked around the hall. Where people had been quietly brimmed with excitement, they now seemed dulled. The Seventh Years in particular now seemed to be truly contemplating what could come of their actions, and the Muggleborns - who would never have known about the Tournament in the first place - seemed apprehensive.

It seemed like Dumbledore was actually making strides towards considering the safety of his students now. In some ways, it was good to see that he was doing what he said he would try to do, but it would take more than words of caution to keep Hogwarts safe.

Of course, she also wondered if this was some way to give Hogwarts some positive press. With the last few years having been filled with…a lot of bad things, she was surprised that there were as many students as there were.

Bringing back the Triwizard Tournament was probably benefitting the school in some way or another. Otherwise, what would have been the point of it?

"Now," Dumbledore said, with a gentler clap of his hands, "as you can well see, Professor Snape has not returned this year. He is still in the process of recovering and regaining his strength. As such, I believe it is now time to introduce our new Potions Professor, and Head of Slytherin House, Professor Daugher."

The new professor stood up and smiled a brilliantly white smile. Her teeth seemed to be perfectly straight. "Hello all!" Her oddly American accent sounded out of place and abrasive in comparison to the accent they were all used to hearing. "It's gonna be a lot of fun getting to know you, I'm sure. You'll have to bear with me for these first few weeks, but I'm sure everything will turn out fine in the end."

She waved, and then sat back down again, her tight ringlets bouncing as she sat.

A quiet groan came from her side, and Halley saw Nott sigh a long sigh.

This was the woman they had picked to be their Head of House? It didn't seem like it was going to be 'fine' at all.


Halley waited for the gargoyle to let her in, and it did without much prompting this time. But what she hadn't expected was for someone else to be staring at her as she walked into Dumbledore's office.

Professor Daugher.

"Halley - I hope you don't mind. I thought it would be best for you and Professor Daugher to have a talk about your grades before the term truly began."

Halley looked between the two of them, not knowing what to say. When Dumbledore had sent her the owl over summer letting her know that she would be meeting with him after the feast, she had thought it would be about their lessons. Not…this.

But now here she was, in Dumbledore's office, unsure of where to sit and about to discuss all the troubles she'd had last year with a stranger. It was not what she wanted to be doing at all .

"Come, sit, Halley." Dumbledore pulled out a chair for her next to the new professor, and Halley sat in it obediently.

"Nice to meet you, Miss Potter," Professor Daugher said.

Halley gave her a sort of smile, but didn't really look at her. Her accent was still grating; the inflections fell in the wrong places and she sounded so…cheery. Halley didn't like it.

"Professor Dumbledore told me that you've not done as well as you were predicted on your exams last year, but that there were extenuating circumstances."

"The Dementors affected me. Badly," she said softly. Dumbledore still knew she'd been lying about Black, so it would be easier to stick with the facts.

"That would do it," Professor Daugher said.

"The exam board have considered the extenuating circumstances, Halley," Dumbledore said. "You'll need to achieve an Acceptable on all your exams this year, otherwise they'll be forced to hold you back."

That sounded even worse! She would be humiliated; having to be held back a year - or possibly two - would make the absolute laughing stock of the whole school. And everyone would assume that she was given the special pass because she was Halley Potter which would make the whole thing even more insufferable.

Professor Daugher leaned back in her chair and tapped on the table with her nails. "That's not great. Well, I'm supposed to be helping you get back on track. What do you think would be the best way to do that?"

Halley shrugged. "Whatever you suggest," she said.

Professor Daugher hummed. "Well - I can't do much tonight. I think it'll be better to learn how you learn. Then we'll go from there. How does a meeting once a week sound?"

She turned to Dumbledore instead of Halley for that question. Dumbledore nodded. "Meeting at intervals will certainly allow you both to assess where you are with your school work, and any support you may want or need."

"Great. It's agreed then. I'll take a look at your schedule and work around any extracurricular activities."

Halley didn't have any, but that didn't matter.

Professor Daugher stood up then. "I'll take my leave then. Gotta try not to get lost," she said with another smile.

Then she left. Her heels clicked away once she got off the carpet and onto the stone floor. Halley could swear that she heard them all the way down the stairs.

"Was that all you wanted to see me for, sir?" Halley asked.

"Not quite," he replied. "I expect I'll be somewhat busier with the Triwizard Tournament this year, however I think it is still important we have our lessons."

Halley nodded, trying to hold back her excitement from being too visible.

"I've considered this carefully, and I believe there are two things you will need in order to keep you safe from Tom - and from Voldemort."

"You think he's back then, sir?" Halley asked.

He nodded. "We both know he never truly left, don't we Halley? His attempt to reach the Philosopher's stone is proof of that. However, I do not believe his followers would be so bold if he was not getting ready to come back."

It sounded like what Riddle had said, and it made sense.

"What do you think will help me?" she asked.

"I believe it is equally important that you begin practicing Occlumency in a safe environment, and that you understand just where Tom Riddle began. If you understand a person's past, it is easier to predict what they may do in the present or the future."

Halley could have laughed. He wanted to teach her Occlumency? Why was everyone so focused on the skill?

Fine. Occlumency. Maybe Dumbledore would help her get better at it quicker. It wasn't exactly what she had wanted, but it wasn't the worst thing in the world. What was more interesting was that he was offering up Riddle's past. Maybe she could learn something that would give her a bit of an edge over him. Knowledge was power, and power was everything right now.

"That sounds…"

"I know it may seem scary, but my hope is that by understanding how Tom came to be, you'll be better able to protect yourself if and when he comes back. But Halley, you must tell me if the Occlumency lessons become too much for you to bear. It's important we take Occlumency slowly, otherwise you can seriously damage your mind."

She nodded, not paying attention. She'd been doing this for months already. It would be fine.

"Good. Then I've kept you up long enough. You should head back to your dorm."

"Goodnight, sir," she said, standing.

"Goodnight, Halley."

She left, thinking about the conversation all the way to the common room where she expected to be able to walk directly to her bed. But as she entered, there was a circle of older students in the middle of the common room.

The furniture had all been pushed to the sides to make room for everyone in the middle, and there were spells flying.

"Oh good, Potter's here. She'll go next, then."


AN: Happy Sunday! I passed my driving test last week but had to go to London, so today was the first time I've properly driven for longer than 15 minutes by myself. Eep! I can drive! Wohoo!

Anyways, hope you guys have had a good weekend. As usual, comments and kudos are much appreciated. We're in Hogwarts now, and Nariyah is as well. She's gonna have fun interactions with Halley come the tournament!