Raining cats, dogs and mutants

By Todd Fan

Disclaimer: "Book darling... come to mummy"

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ACT 8 - Perfection becomes her

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At the Xavier mansion, Kitty and Warren start to head inside, unaware they are being followed)

"Now, really, Kitty", says Warren, "We can't just take in a stray off the street"

"But look at the poor thing", says Kitty, snuggling Jamie.

"Being carried by Kitty", smiles Jamie, "Puuuuurrrrr" (1)

"QUIT IT!", shouts Kitty, "Warren, he's half starved"

Roberto goes to run up the steps after them, only to be dragged back by Todd. Inside the mansion, Kitty heads off into the kitchen

"I know you're growing attached to the little fellow but do try to understand. Your parents left me responsible for you", Warren lets out another sob, "...my Gods, I sound like MY butler when I was seven. My parents wouldn't let me have a pet either! 'Oh NO, Warren, we're simply too busy to have a pet in the house, maybe next year'. They wouldn't even let me have a goldfish!"

"...Are we done now?", asks Forge

"...Yes", sniffles Warren

"They won't mind. Really", says Kitty, then looks at Jamie, "Don't worry, kitty, I'll take care of you"

"I hope so, sweet thing", says Jamie, waggling his eyebrows.

"Stop doing that!", says Kitty with a shudder.

"Amara is not going to like this", mutters Warren.

He gives a defeated sigh and walks upstairs to a room, switching a light on)

"Rise and shine, Amara, your public awaits"

He leaves the room and we see a curtain come up on a big, raised doggie bed. Amara, now a poodle, yawns and stretches, before padding down the stairs of her bed to a vanity mirror, seeing her reflection, she gasps

"I'M A DOG!", she screams, then pauses, "...oh...wait"

Girl, we got work to do

Pass me the paint and glue

She starts applying make-up and getting her fur out of it's curlers

Perfect isn't easy

But..it's..meeeeeeee

When one knows the world is watching

One does what one must

She uses her ears to apply powers all over her before straightening out her fur

Some minor adjustments, darling

Not for my vanity

But for humanity

Each little step a pose

She pauses to wriggle her backside, then shows off all her trophies)

See how the breeding shows

Ooo

Sometimes it's too much for even meeee

She lies down on a load of pillows, surrounded by pictures of various male dogs, she looks at one of Paul, as a dog, and kisses it

But when all the world says yes

Then who am I to say no?

Don't ask a mutt to strut like a showgirl

No, girl, you need a pro

She goes to open a window, where a bunch of birds are flying around

"Who did ye zap inte birds?", asks Rahne

"No one", says Forge, "...these are birds that follow Warren around. I think they believe him to be their God".

Amara ignores the directors, continuing the song all about her.

Not a flea or a flaw

Take a peak at that paw

La-de-da-da

Perfection becomes me ne c'est pas?

She pads behind a screen, where the birds drop clothing garments down on her

Unrivalled

Unruffled

I'm beauty unleashed, yeah!

Jaws drop

Hearts stop

So classic and classy

We're not talking Lassie

"Sing it, girl, shake that thing!", shouts Tabby.

Amara jumps onto the balcony, wearing a long, flowing scarf and a leopard skin doggie top. She howls, making Sam, Pyro, Piotr, Scott and Ray appear, all as dog, howling at the bottom of her balcony. Pyro laughs manically and climbs over the others, making a doggie ladder

Though many covet my bone and bowl

They're barking up the wrong tree

You pretty pups all over the city

I have your hearts and you have my pity

The flower in her hair drops, which Pyro catches with a dreamy sigh. She walks back into her room, throwing off her costume

Pretty is nice

But still, it's just pretty

Perfect my dears

Is meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

She walks down the winding staircase, the birds flying around her as she finishes off her big musical number

"Oh yeah, I'm good", smirks Amara.

"It's those DAMN birds again", shouts Warren, "shoot 'em!"

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(1) – Did anyone else think Jamie's crush on Kitty in 'Self Possessed' was the CUTEST? They should have done more with that.

Onwards, ho!