REVISED!

Disclaimers: if I own Weiss Kenkun would be a bit taller, yuriko and sakura will not be in the picture, Youji will not have green eyes, Omi will not wear those shorts to missions, and Aya will not be crying bloody 'Takatori!' most of the time… but seeing as this is not what happened, it's quite obvious that I do not own Weiss…

A/N:

I'm still alive!

So sorry minna! Been really busy for 2 months- with several research proposals, major reports, exams, and a language class among other things! Ah school papers are the bane of my existence!… THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS! (Hugs everyone! XD)…

I am so very sorry that this took a loooong while… can't blame you if you want to throw daggers at me (ducks first blade!)… but I've been quite stressed out that typing two line really tempts me to turn this into a bloody deathfic, which is a no-no, so I don't dare continue…

Err… are you guys still there?

Anyways, here is the fifth installment which I had to painfully squeeze in coz it's been so long and I might lost the drive to finish (gasp!)… don't worry I promise to finish… it's too late for valentines, I know and I apologize again… I blame stress… sigh… this is obviously cliché once again as it involves a bit of blood (been reading too many deathfics), lots of angst, an almost demented Kenken… and a drunk Aya? this fic seemed a bit surreal and a bit confusing to me, so please do tell me if I lost you along the way… coz as I type this particular chappie, I just clicked down the first things that entered my head, coz right now my brain becomes muddled if I think too much on stuff… I'm quite drained… (what on earth possessed me to write this? I honestly don't know. Maybe this is my outlet for all the stress in my young pathetic life…oh well… やれ やれ… )

Errr… grill me later after you Read and Review okay?

Quick notes:

1) to spawn of hell: thanks… I love the idea of warm and cold too… but I'm biased to the cold… : ) that's why I love Aya and characters like him…

2) Gaah! Aya's become too much of a bastard… I have to tame him a bit for this act… (by screwing him up a bit more! O.o) (chuckles!)

3) Ummm… the weird poem at the beginning is mine, written ages ago. I found it while rummaging old papers the other day… so sorry if it's crappy okay? I just felt it kinda fitted with this chappie…

4) Everyone else thank you so much!

5) oh and to my anonymous reviewer of chap 3… well, this is Ken showing those freeze burn signs…I guess : )

Warning: same old, same old… though I am led to believe that this chapter is weird… a bit longer than my normal (coz' I feel I owe you guys for making you wait too long and am too lazy to make this 2 chaps, this is probably the longest chappie I've ever done to date) and it's weird too… but I'll leave it to you…

Well… 始める。。。

FROST by 影 黒川 (errr… me)

Part V Intoxications (A/N: don't ask, just don't…)

"FROZEN

I hear nothing, I feel nothing…

The world is frozen…

I see everything, I see nothing…

I am frozen…

There is everything, everything is nothing…

To me…all frozen…

Everything passes by…

Still, no time, no space…

Can ever touch this place…

But frost…

Yes…

Frozen…

In silence…

Scream…

Frozen…

There is nothing here…"

The white is tainted with crimson.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

The warm red liquid trickled steadily, slowly, melting, merging with the top layer of snow-covered ground...

Stained…

A scarlet tinted shard of glass is placed gently above the blemished ground. It was stood erect, as if to mark something… should it mean anything?

Blue green eyes watched in fascination as the ruby colored droplets continued to kiss the snow from his arm.

Mesmerizing.

Strange. There is no pain.

Was there supposed to be any?

He did not know.

All he knew is that red is such a captivating color.

Loud.

Hot.

Fiery.

Passionate.

Funny, that doesn't sound anything like the red that he had known.

One long finger slowly traced the path of the red stream… hmmm… it has grown cold indeed…

A smile.

Might as well get used to it.

A pity.

For something seemingly so vibrant at first glance, there nothing to reach but a frozen abyss within…

Must be fate.

But then again, maybe it's because the warmth was frozen when it decided to take a walk in winter.

Maybe.

Too bad he didn't care anymore.

He is too tired to give a damn.

Winter has reached those blue green orbs as well.

And the frost has doused the last flames in the hearth.

What a waste.

Vacant eyes closed to the world outside as the dawn sung a chilly lullaby.

The frostiness was intoxicating.

xxx

Koneko flowershop greeted another cold morning with a certain brunette missing in action.

"Hey chibi, have you seen our cute little Kenken around?"

A small frown. "No Yo-tan. I went to his room but his bed wasn't slept in."

Groan. "Don't tell me he's gonna pull that disappearing act again. That would be getting quite old."

"But why-"

"Hmph. That's probably just his way of wanting us to miss him."

"He's not like you, Youji." A genki smile.

"Oh how you wound me, Omi. Are you telling me you people won't miss me when I'm gone?" Clutching the heart in mock pain.

"Ha! We all know you'll just be out chasing skirts somewhere anyway." Soft chuckling.

"If you two are done flirting, get back to work." Scowling violets gaze.

"Awww… lighten up and get that stick off your-"

Death glare.

Ding dong.

Save by the bell. And a very pretty customer, who looks over eighteen.

So, Mr. Stiffy's complaining about flirting? This green eyed blonde expert is gonna show him flirting.

"How can I be of service to such a rare rose in winter?" Somebody's opening that old bag of tricks again.

A blush from the recipient.

Old tricks… but works every single time.

"I'd like to take home a dozen of those please." Fuchsia colored nails pointed to several flowers by the window.

"Would you like to take me home as well?" Wink.

Cheesy line. Even the speaker would agree. But the secret is with the smooth delivery.

"H-huh?" Flustered. She's kinda cute.

"How 'bout dinner then." Flashing that winning smile

"Oh! Ummm… Yes." Blush. A pink as her winter coat.

It never fails. Someone's gonna get lucky tonight.

"Here you go, miss. Just sign this receipt. Together with your name and address of course." Another wink plus that irresistible commercial worthy grin as a final touch.

Customer almost faints.

Score!

Damn, he's sooo good.

Door closes behind a still blushing but satisfied customer.

That was fun.

"Yo-tan-" Omi stood in one corner, mouth hanging slightly open.

"I'm so good arent' I, chibi?" Smug smile.

Shake of the head.

It would have been a lot more fun if Kenken's here to get all disturbed as well.

Hmmm… maybe next time.

Green orbs turned to a certain redhead with a self-satisfied smirk.

"Learned something, Fujimiya?"

Ignore.

xxx

"Where the hell is he?" A certain playboy paces back and forth in the mission room.

"Calm down Youji." Clicking computer keys.

"We have a fucking mission." Taking out a cigarette.

"We can go through with it without him, Kudou." That meant shut the hell up from their esteemed leader.

"I had to cancel a hot date for this. And the bastard is probably goofing off somewhere." Smoke billows in the still air.

"Shut up, Kudou."

Silence.

"Alright Grouchy, spill."

"…"

"What did you do this time?"

"…"

"Can't answer a simple question, bastard?"

"Shove it, Kudou."

"You're such a prick, Fujimiya. I can only wonder what the hell a nice guy like Kenken saw in you r uptight-"

"I'm done!" Interruption.

Saved again from total obliteration via a well-polished, well-honed katana. Honestly, death is not happy with these narrow escapes.

xxx

Footfalls coming down the stairs.

"I saw Manx leaving." A quiet voice. Quite uncharacteristic of the owner actually

"Kenkun." Three pairs of eyes turned towards the speaker.

"Well about damn time, you laggard." Scolding. Teasing.

"What happened to your hand Kenkun?" Concern.

"…" No response from the brunette who is wearing a somewhat dazed look.

"Ken?"

"Huh?" Out of stupor.

"Your hand?"

"Oh… just a minor gash." In stupor again.

A minor gash? It is just one among a series that ran up into Ken's forearms had anyone bothered to draw up the sleeves of his jacket. Minor indeed.

"Really?" Blue eyes looked doubtfully but left it at that.

Blank stare.

"Hey! Come back to earth!" Hands waving. Left. Right. Left.

A smack on the forehead.

"Huh?" Still out of it.

Somebody pinched his bottom.

"Youji!"

"Ah. Still alive I see. Now, about you arm…"

"I slipped on a wet pavement and some sharp piece glass embedded itself in my palm and got quite comfy okay?"

Well… fine, so he lied about the slipping part. But his teammates seemed to accept the explanation at face value. He smiles. The two blondes smiled back. The third one just stared impassively as usual.

They believed him.

Not!

Youji thinks: If you say so. (Insert sarcasm)

Omi thinks: Right. Like I'm really gonna believe that.(Insert mock innocence)

Aya thinks: Stupid, clumsy, idiot... I don't care. (insert feigned indifference)

xxx

"We have mission Ken." Omi explained as he adjusted the speaker in his ear as Ken read the information printed from Omi's computer.

"Obviously. Seeing as you are all geared up." The brunette rolled his eyes and turned and up the stairs to prepare as well.

"Are you sure you're well enough to be here Ken?" Youji asked the retreating brunette…

"I'm fine Youji. Now stop fretting before you sound like Omi…" Ken teased.

Green eyes surveyed his friend's form doubtfully before shrugging. "If you say so, Kenken."

If you say so…

As Ken stepped into the hallway, he sighed as he wondered.

I always say I'm just fine…

It's way too easy…

Lying to myself…

Convincing the world…

But then, do I really fool anyone…

No… I'm just trying to dupe myself…

And if I dwell on things even for just a minute…

I am faced with the truth…

Nothing is really fine…

xxx

Earlier that morning…

Icy breeze swept brown hair from Ken's face and woke the sleeping soccer player to a cold, dank morning. His groggy mind tried to register why the hell it's freezing inside his room when he had the damn heater fixed the other day. Then it suddenly dawned to him where he was as another gust of chilly wind hit his face. He fell asleep here, leaning on the cold marble of his ex-bestfriend's grave, out in the open. He had slumbered for hours on snow-covered ground. For two hours? Maybe three? Sure, the snow had been light, but still, he could've died of frostbite… or hypothermia. But he didn't.

Too bad.

Would've made some people happy if he did. He thought bitterly.

Maybe he'll be lucky and get pneumonia.

Damn. He's thoughts are bordering on going suicidal.

And it only took one stupid bastard to make him seriously contemplate going through with it.

Which is too ironic when one thinks of all the atrocities he has done.

All the lives he took. Including that of the person whose grave he'd leaned upon in the night..

Yes. He admits. Those deeds left him hollow. They hounded his nightmares. They pound at whatever is left of his humanity. They make him question his sanity.

But none of them. Not one, has left him this helpless… Desperate enough to get rid of this one emotion to the point of doing the world a favor and ridding it of his miserable self.

Rejection seemed to feel worse than killing. Or so it seemed to him.

Because when he kills, he is somehow quieted by the thought that he was ridding society of another menace.

But having his feelings rejected, trampled and thrown at his face was more than he could bear.

Why? Ken asked himself that infernal question for what seemed like the millionth time already…

Why must he make himself suffer this way. He'd like to get angry at Aya for being the bastard that he is. He was angry at Aya. He'd like to get angry at Youji and Omi for giving him false hope. He was mad at them. He'd like to get angry at himself for falling in love with Aya. For hoping. For making a fool of himself. And he was indeed angry at himself.

Was being the operative word.

Now, he honestly does not know.

It's too cold for him to feel. In his body. In his mind. In his emotions.

Everything seemed to have numbed.

Like time had been suspended.

Was this a good thing or not?

He cannot say.

And so Ken Hidaka began to laugh under the pale morning sun. He laughed till tears were in his eyes. He laughed till the warm liquid streamed down his cold face before the drops succumbed to the cold air, almost freezing before they hit the ground or are born away by the winter breeze.

As the tears fell, he laughed harder. Bitter. Sad. Crazy.

He had cried more tears these past few weeks than he had in his entire life. Much more than when he was expelled from the J-league. Or the incident with Kase. Or with Yuriko. He must really be losing it.

He laughed some more. Dropping his head, he lifted his hands to wipe the tears.

He felt something stung as he moved his left arm.

There was a cake blood on his palm.

There was a crimson trail from there leading into the sleeve of his jacket..

He lifted his sleeve.

And then there was silence.

Minutes passed. But blue-green orbs faded to gray-green. Glazed eyes focused on one pale arm. Covered with brick red streaks… dried blood.

His blood. And then there were several long marks. Several parallel lines marred that skin near the wrist. Not too deep. Just short of the main veins. And then there is another wound below it, stained with a lot of blood. It seemed gruesome enough to look at.

Still in a trance-like state, the brunette reached on the ground beside him with his uninjured hand and grasped at the small pile of snow there. He then scraped this unto his bloodied arm. It didn't feel anything.

Fascinated, continued cleaning the dried blood and uncovered what was underneath the crimson covered surface.

Several more lines cut into the skin, and it's gonna scar when it healed.

The brunette looked at the line closely, tracing the pattern that they created. It must have been painful. Carving the lines unto his skin with nothing but that single shard of glass he found the night before. But he cannot remember anything but that the night was chilly.

And he was numb.

He wanted to feel something. Anything even pain.

But even that did not come.

That much he remembered.

The pain did not come.

No matter how many he had cut.

No matter how deep.

Frost had crept up into his system.

He had tried to fight against it.

He knows he is losing.

He is now willing to resign to his fate…

He sighed… it was funny… how it all began…

Back then, all he wanted-

All he wanted was release from his pain…

All he wanted was to share a life with the person he loved.

All he wanted was to feel the warmth…

But in the end all he got was more pain.

All he got was himself.

All he got was the blistering chill of winter…

Such a shame.

After all, a person can only take so much. Before everything shatters.

Like the glass he had found last night. The fragments get lost. And become nothing but remnants.

A mere memory. Of what was. Of what can never be again.

Till it fades beyond recollection.

What a waste.

And Ken found that he was losing his senses on a snow covered morning…

Literally, figuratively…

What does it matter?

He flexed his palm. Blood flowed out as the cuts there were reopened…

Crimson seemed filled his senses…

He admitted one thing right then and there…

He found the color red intoxicating.

xxx

Present…

It was a fairly common mission. The target was one of those typical drug syndicates… Nothing too big. Nothing too fancy You just barge into their place of operations, kill the bastards. Go home and move on. The usual… no big deal…

But somehow after a time, the routine could get quite boring. Same old scenes. The same old blood spattered trail.

The fear.

Death.

It does get quite tiresome…

Conscience is no longer an issue. Justifying murder no longer applies. It's nothing personal now.

It's just a job…

Tonight was no different.

Supposedly.

The mission was accomplished. But…

It seemed that something had gone wrong. Something had gone amiss.

Why?

Because Siberian blatantly ignored orders.

Because Siberian carelessly executed his part.

Because Siberian is now lying in a pool of blood in the middle of the hallway.

Because Siberian took several hits.

Because it seemed that Siberian had wanted to die…

"Siberian is down!" A voice frantically shouted into the transmitter.

"I repeat… Siberian is down! Abyssinian… Where the hell are you!"

"We're on our way Balinese! Bombay out."

And so it was on that dark, bloody hall that Abyssinian and Bombay found Balinese crouching over the unconscious figure of Siberian.

All others in the building had been… properly dealt with.

"He's badly wounded." Balinese explained. "Help me carry him out."

As the trio went out with their wounded comrade in tow, Abyssinian can be heard furiously muttering over and over about clumsy, reckless idiots…

End Chappie

A/N: Anou… umm… so how was that… will Ken wake up? Will Aya still be a bastard (of course)? hate it? like it? lost ya? wanna hurl that monitor at this poor, over fatigued author? Oh well… just barbeque this in the review section… (yawn…) it's like 3 am here right now… I have make classes in the morning… so I have to go sleep… or else people are gonna complain why I'm so chippery… R&R please… thanks so much! see ya soon… just one or two chaps more I think… author to tired to avoid the things being thrown… is hit, sways, slips, lands with a thud and promptly falls asleep…

Ja minna!

P.S. (Semi?) Drunk Aya is now on the next chapter… : )