Raining cats, dogs and mutants

By Todd Fan

Disclaimer: "Do mobsters ever congregate around your house?" "All the time, sometimes I bring them lemonade"

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ACT 14 - Rail safety first!

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We cut to the Acolytes headquarters...err Alex's lair. Outside, the dogs and Jamie have gathered

"Oh man, it don't look good", says Roberto.

"It's all locked up, Todd", says Hank

"Alright, there's gotta be some way in", says Todd with a frown

He glances up at a window up high in the lair...

"My lair doesn't have any windows", says Magneto, blinking.

"...It does now", smiles Forge

Todd sees another window leading to the basement and grins

"Yeah", he grins, "Henry..."

Inside the building, Remy and Lance are stalking around Kitty as Alex ties her to a chair

"Don't cry, little girl", says Alex

"I'm the same age as you, beach bum!", snaps Kitty

"I'll ignore that comment", says Alex, "They only eat when I tell them to"

"I wouldn't eat you, Pretty Kitty", smiles Lance

"...Dog Hood", mutters Kitty.

Back outside, the dogs have set up a seesaw effect, an American football helmet on one end, while Beast is above the others balancing on a few boxes

"Henry, you all set", asks Todd

"This is because of that fat-boy thing, isn't it!", sniffles Hank.

"Mr McCoy, no one here thinks ye fat, right cast and crew?", asks Rahne

"Riiiiiiiiiggggggghhht", say the cast and crew in unison.

"Fine. Farewell, Dulcinea", says Hank.

"Henry!", snap the dogs.

"Peasants", mutters Hank.

"Maestro?", grins Todd.

Roberto gives a grin and drums his tail on a trash can. We see Jamie snuggled up inside the American football helmet

"Ready, Kid?", asks Todd.

"If I said no, would you let me leave?", asks Jamie

"No", says Forge simply.

"Darn", says Jamie, "Yeah"

"Go!", shouts Todd.

Beast does a small salute before diving off onto the other end of the seesaw, catapulting Jamie and the helmet through one of the top windows, making a crash

"...I'm hurt", call the resulting kintenples.

Inside, Alex glances up from the noise

"Remy, Lance", he orders.

Remy and Lance walk off to see what the noise was, meanwhile, Jamie is walking around the dark and spooky lair. Lance walks past him, just missing him behind a pile of boxes. Once they have gone, Jamie runs over to the basement window and opens the catch, pushing the door open. Freddy is about to burst in when Roberto stops him.

"Hey, hey, hey!", snaps Roberto, "There's a lady present"

He smiles and steps aside for Amara to go through

"Well, it's nice to see that one of you has some manners", sniffs Amara.

"After you, my little", Roberto grins, "...croissant"

"Good grief", mutters Hank

"...I'm here too", says Wanda.

Once they are all inside, the gang start to creep through the building

"And remember, quiet!", hisses Todd.

"AHHHHHHHHH!", screams Amara, "...Oh, I broke a nail"

"Oh, balderdash", mutters Hank, shaking his head.

"What'd you call my woman!", growls Roberto.

"Grrrrrrrrr", growls Rahne

"Freeze!", hisses Todd.

They all stop to see a camera whirr towards them, keeping stock still

"Yo, Roberto", whispers Todd.

"Right, I'll check it out", says Roberto.

Roberto sidesteps away and walks behind the camera, biting through the wires, zapping himself. In Magne...Alex's office, we see the picture of that camera go out, as Alex talk on the phone

"Yeah, oh that's funny, Mr Worthington", he says, "But I don't think you really appreciate the situation. Somebody could get hurt"

Kitty smiles as she sees the gang cross by another camera, coming onto the screen briefly

"You just get the old man on the phone and tell him it's about his daughter..Kitty"

The gang are now on a beam just above Alex and Kitty

"All right, listen up...", says Todd.

As it fades to a group whispering, Lance is getting suspicious

"You smell that?", asks Lance

"Yeah. Heh heh, it's party time", grins Remy.

Meanwhile, the groups start to gather random items, eventually making a silhouette of a pizza delivery guy, knocking on Alex's door

"I didn't order any pizza", blinks Alex, getting a gun and heads off to the door, as he opens it, the gang goes to hide, "Where are those dogs?"

As he wanders off, Todd and Jamie run into the office, where Kitty is still tied up. Jamie give a cute meow and jumps on her shoulder

"Jamie", says Kitty, "I thought I'd never see you again"

"Still want to date me?", grins Jamie

"NO!"

Meanwhile, Freddy, Beast and Roberto run right into Remy and Lance as they try to lead Alex away

"..Gentlemen", says Hank

"What's de occasion?", smirks Remy, "Come to rescue your little friend?"

"Say goodbye, Henry", growls Lance.

"Ohhh boys!", from above them, Amara drops a big canvas on top of Remy and Lance, "Whoopsy-daisy!"

"All right, what a woman!", grins Roberto.

They all run into the office, closing the door behind them

"Henry, you keep an eye on the monitors", says Todd, "Wanda, over here"

"Oh, so NOW I'm noticed!", snaps Wanda.

Hank goes to watch the TV monitors while Wanda starts to chew through Kitty's rope. Outside in the corridor, Alex has found Remy and Lance and pulls the canvas off them

"What is this, a slumber party?", snaps Alex, "Get goin', ya stupid mutts!"

"Hey!", says Remy, "I'm a purebred"

Back in the office, Beast is watching a ballet on the monitors

"Henry, is the coast clear?", asks Todd, "...HENRY!"

Todd switches to the camera, where we see Alex, Remy and Lance heading towards the room. As everyone starts to panic, Todd sees a hook hanging from the ceiling

"Roberto, hot-wire!", shouts Todd.

"Hey, no way, Todd, man", says Roberto, "I've been barbecued too many times!"

Amara smiles and bats her eyelashes at him

"Good luck, Roberto", she smiles, "I'll be waiting"

"...Hey", grins Roberto.

Heigh-ho, heigh-ho

It's off to work we go

Da da da dade da da

"Okay, missy ye and me, after filming", growls Rahne, "I'll kick your wee little boot!"

Alex rattles the door handle of the office loudly before Rahne and Amara can start fighting again

"What is this?", asks Alex, "All right, girlie, open the door"

Roberto finds the controls for the hook and pulls out a wire, sending it down. The dogs hook it to Kitty's chair and climb onto it. Roberto puts another wire back, frazzling himself and sending the hook up to the ceiling...just as Alex blasts through the door, Remy and Lance snarling, just missing it.

"..Dang", says Alex, "Come on!"

Meanwhile, Roberto is screaming as he rides the hook machine along a track in the ceiling, taking everyone else with him. Alex blasts the control box, dropping the dogs, Jamie and Kitty onto a spiral ramp, which takes them all to Alex's feet.

"This has all been very entertaining", smirks Alex, "But the Luou is over"

Just before he clan click his fingers, Jason rids in on his scooter, the gang jumps on and Jason rides off

"...Gonna die, gonna die, gonna die", chants Jason.

Roberto laughs as Remy and Lance fade into the distance.

"Hey, man, you're ugly! And you're uglier than him", he laughs, "And you're ugly, part three!. Hey, you're revenge of the ugly, heh heh...ho?"

Roberto squeaks as Alex's car speed up behind them, going to mow them down

"See, here's that death..nasty death", says Jason.

Jason skids the scooter into the subway, Alex following right behind, his car sending off sparks as it scratches the walls. Jason drives the scooter onto the railway tracks. Alex follows, his tyres being ground into nothing as he speeds along the track, sending out sparks of electricity.

"Whoah", grins Alex, "just like Back to the Future!"

Alex rams the back of the scooter, throwing Kitty onto the hood of the car. Alex sticks his hand out of the window, reaching out to grab her in.

"I'll save you, my love!", calls Jamie.

Jamie leaps off the scooter onto Alex's hand, biting a huge chuck out of it

"Owww!", says Alex.

Alex tosses Jamie into the car, where Remy and Lance growl at him. Todd leaps from the scooter onto the car and into the sun roof, starting to fight with Remy and Lance. Remy and Todd smash through the back window onto the boot of the car, Remy struggling to get a grip.

"..Uh oh, dis won't be pretty", says Remy, "De Remy fans, dey will be mad"

"We can live with it", smirks Forge.

Remy sighs and grabs Todd's bandana, it breaking off and sending Remy onto the track, where he gets electrocuted and DIES

"I'll avenge you!", yells Lance.

Lance leaps out at Todd, pushing his head over the side of the boot, Todd's head very close to the rails. Jamie jumps onto Lance's head, sticking his claws in his eyes.

"And now you'll anger the Lance fans", says Lance.

"Big deal", shrugs Rahne.

Lance yelps, falling back onto the tracks and DIES. Todd catches Jamie just in time as the track heads onto a bridge outside

"Mr Jason, Mr Jason, help me!", shouts Kitty, "wait, how do I know his name?"

"Plot hole, dead ahead!", shouts Todd, "careful ya don't fall"

"Why me!", sighs Jason.

Jason moves from steering the scooter to trying to lean on the other side to try and pull Kitty back

"All right, check it out!", grins Roberto, "Vrrooom vrroooom!"

Roberto takes over the steering, as Alex climbs halfway out of the car to try and pull Kitty back in. Jason turns to see a train heading right for them

"...Messy messy death", whimpers Jason.

Amara screams and wraps her forelegs around Roberto's head.

"Ahrrrrghhh! Save me, Roberto!"

"Hey, get off my back, woman I'm driving!", snaps Roberto.

Kitty makes a leap from the hood of the car, jumping onto the scooter. Roberto steers the scooter onto a wire holding the bridge up, the train heading right towards Alex and his car.

"...Bummer", says Alex.

The train smashes right through Alex's car and Alex DIES

"And cut", says Forge

"Isn't that a bit...och I don't know..cruel?", asks Rahne.

"After everything we've been put through?", asks Forge, "No. Besides, all they have to do is click on and they'll get the last Act"

"...Then we'll be free", grins Rahne

"Freeeee!", shout Forge and Rahne.

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Yes, well, do as the directors say, click on to the final act.