A/N: last chappie!1111
Maleficent Angel: theirs no sex u perv!
Late at night mione got tired. "this blows. My paper, my speech…everything's all… anti-grammar-y. surely a cliché spell can fix this. …Dictionemendo!" she screamed in broken Latin.
Hermione grinned and brushed herself off. "Ah, that's better. Hey, Harry, wanna snog?"
Lilac prepared for her "special night" again. She looked perfect; her hair was successfully dreary and emolike. All day, she hexed random first years for the ordeal yesterday had caused. And she waited. Finally, it was time. She skipped out on the feast and used the time to put on raccoon eye makeup.
Draco was waiting for her at the base of the tower. "Snugglewook!"
She giggled at the new pet name. "Shall we?" asked the emo princess. The two descended, making out the whole way. Which is really hard to do.
Once at the top, she prepared for the scene about to take place. Draco dipped her dangerously close to the edge.
She fell.
Draco smirked to himself. "Another job well done." He knew even if all the other homicidal attempts had failed, this one would work.
Draco slinked into the Forbiddon Forest and returned to his lord.
The next day, Hogwarts was in an uproar. Dumbledore examined the fallen Lilac. "It… didn't kill her."
Lilac stirred. "I believe it's as I suspected. The spell protected her." He informed the staff present. "Non Expletus Perfectus!" he cried in broken Latin.
Suddenly, Lilac's ebony curls straightened, and turned a mousy shade of brown. Her eyes faded from bright lilac into a dull brownish. Her "perfect curves" were gone, leaving her with nothing. "Miss Jane Smith." McGonagoll adressed sharply. "Why?"
"I wanted… perfection. No one liked me. I had to, just had to, try the Complete Perfection spell. I…wanted… Draco's balls." She said quietly.
"You've been wanted dead by the dark side for weeks, do you know why, Miss Smith? You have no use while alive, but once dead, you could defeat all as Inferi. This spell you've so vainly placed upon yourself is a danger to ALL of us! Draco never wanted you, foolish girl, your whole relationship revolved around him trying to kill you!"
It all made sence. When he pushed her in the water, him sleeping in such a way that convienently covered her mouth, bashing her head against the closet…. the Astronomy Tower.
Suddenly, Dumbeldore looked at her in horror. "This isn't Jane Smith. Jane Smith died a day before term, remember? Who… are you?"
"I…I…" 'Jane' started to say, when suddenly Snape cried, "Aperio!"
A frightened house elf stood before them. "J-Jinxie was not meaning harm, sirs."
"Whatever shall we do with her? Her crimes are certainly enough for a death penalty, and Inferi doesn't work on house elves… So, Jinxie, would you rather work in the kitchens or die?" asked Snape.
Jinxie glared at the potions master and swished her hair. "Jinxie resents the notion that house elves can only work in the kitchen. Jinxie believes she has proven this otherwise."
McGonagoll stared. "By… using the body of a dead girl, taking charms to make you perfect and… attempting to seduce Mr. Malfoy?"
"Does this mean you choose death?"
"I'm sure it does!" said Severus with a manic grin. "THREE!"
"TWO!" yelled Dumbledore.
"ONE!" the whole staff cried.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!" The crumpled body of Jinxie lie there. Another Mary Sue case solved.
The staff decided telling Draco he'd been snogging a House Elf would be punishment enough.
