Hello.
This is my new one-shot. I watched a film and was simply intrigued by
a conversation they had about taking a life. I decided to write my
own version by writing a story about Naruto dealing with killing. I
have always wondered how he would react, since he is very against
it... I hope you will enjoy this! Please review. :) Thank you very
much.
The Rain
The ruthless rain fell like arrows and an evening evanescence of mist covered the ground. Veiled in a mournful greyness, the world seemed so dark. Kakashi took a step forward, feeling his body tremble with fatigue. It was supposed to be a relatively easy mission. He closed his eyes with regret. Naruto was so excited; his eyes were glistening, excelling the sapphire sky. Now, his eyes were wide, hollowness seeping in. Kakashi knew that his eyes reflected the overwhelming feelings that lay in his bruised heart.
They had been assigned to a B-mission, where they were ordered to track down a group of violent bandits. Several of them were surprisingly skilled and Naruto was suddenly forced to kill one of them in order to protect Sakura, who had been brutally thrown to the ground.
"Sakura…!" He had called. He withdrew his weapon impulsively and ran over to her.
It was not his intention to take his life. None of them had managed to register what had happened. Naruto could not believe his own eyes as he watched the man fall lifelessly to the ground, drops of blood raining freely on him.
'It feels so indescribably cold.'
Naruto remained in shock, unable to move his limbs. His sapphire eyes were wide with fright, the ocean in them dying. His current immobility created an apparent weakness. Because he was unwillingly and forcefully still, it gave the enemy an open opportunity. He was nearly killed, even though he could have easily evaded. However, Kakashi managed to immediately see the visible danger and had managed to protect him masterfully.
The bodies lay horridly on the ground and the sparkling rain inevitably mixed with the blood. They were only supposed to interrogate and capture them, but the results were the complete opposite. Sakura speechlessly watched Naruto's head lower, his golden wisps of wet hair concealing his face. Kakashi approached her and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Let me take care of this." He whispered, and without receiving her confirmation, continued towards Naruto. She gasped, before silently agreeing to his suggestion. Kakashi had probably experienced this countless times. His heart carried many… Sins… He had killed many times.
"To kill is an inevitable duty a ninja must engrave in his or her pure heart. To do this is necessary to uphold stability and success of the mission."
Sakura had memorized this sentence many times.
However, no matter how strong one is, one can not prevent the heart from shattering to some extent from the craving hardship. It becomes bruised, broken, or completely ruined. Each person has a way of dealing and reacting to situations and experiences.
Sakura knew that Naruto would not cope well. She shook her head and thankfully entrusted Naruto to Kakashi.
"Naruto…" He said softly, yet firmly. Naruto barely acknowledged his close and intense presence. He looked up slightly, his eyes empty.
"It could not be helped… I…" He started, but could not finish due to Naruto's sharp interruption.
"Shut up! I don't want to hear it!" Naruto shouted loudly, yet his voice was broken. Kakashi remained unaffected, expecting this kind of reaction from his open comrade.
"Calm down." He uttered, mildly. Naruto tried to hold in his anger and other scattered feelings, but it proved to be futile. He always impulsively let them out, unconcerned of the aftermath during the time. Instead of shouting though, he ran away from his two companions. His eyes seemed to be in a process of alteration, from sky to fire. They burned with a vibrant redness and onyx diamonds appeared. Kakashi let him go for now, but he would pursue him afterwards. Sakura raised a hand in order to reach him or stop him somehow, but she weakly retracted, knowing that it was useless. Kakashi turned his head to look at her, only his penetrating eye visible to her.
"Let him go. I'll go find him. We are not far away from the village. Go back." He suggested, seriously.
"Wait, how will you find him?" She questioned, loudly. She was obviously greatly concerned for her friend, which was a rarity to see. Well, their relationship had blossomed recently. They were already 17 years old. Their type of unique lives forced them to grow up and adapt quickly.
"I can feel his chakra." He answered, gazing at the swaying trees, before giving her a reassuring smile. Sakura eyes glowed with worry and she seemed slightly hesitant, before strength and belief replaced her worry. She nodded weakly.
"Alright, I'll leave him to you. Please, help him." She said, her voice woven with confidence and reliance.
"Yeah…" He answered as he watched Sakura sway weightlessly through the damp air. Her pink hair fluttered gracefully. His gaze was fixed on her until she had completely disappeared due to his hidden, yet natural concern, before jumping strongly towards Naruto's location.
He could feel him, even his immense pain, so well. He knew he was suffering and that dealing with it alone would only make it worse.
'Hang in there, Naruto. I am coming.'
He found him lying on the shimmering ground, completely exhausted. He was breathing heavily and his eyes were no longer hollow, but shining like distant stars. They were barely open, but one could see the strong emotions behind them so clearly. The captivating ocean in them was alive again, but uncontrollable. Kakashi instinctively approached him and knelt down, checking his condition carefully. He could feel a faint feeling of worry swallow his heart. He was soaking wet from the hard rain and his breathing was irregular. Although he was shivering terribly and was apparently very cold, he was burning. He had no threatening wounds, but due to the cold, the rain and the situation he had previously experienced, his body was weak.
"Naruto?" He asked, softly. He turned him over, so that he was facing him. He gently held his head and slid a hand under his back. He brushed away some untamed and golden locks that concealed his forehead.
"Kakashi-sensei, I'm sorry..." He blurted out, eyes completely open now. Like the heavens, Kakashi could tell that Naruto was actually crying, even though the rain naturally and cleverly concealed his tears. He was weeping softly and Kakashi found it difficult to observe him like this. Kakashi's eyes widened slightly, but he remained emotionless, waiting for Naruto to continue.
"I did not mean to kill him. I never wanted to kill anybody. I just wanted to protect Sakura. She probably could have taken care of herself, but I could not help myself. He was not even that strong. I... I..." Naruto muttered, slowly, before Kakashi gently interrupted him with a low voice. He could easily see and hear the regret that Naruto possessed.
"That's enough, Naruto. I know. You did what you had to do. You did well..." He whispered, trying to give him reassurance. Naruto's body stiffened and his eyes closed when a vivid pain suddenly came. Kakashi strengthened his grip with worry, gasping slightly. When the pain weakened, Naruto relaxed, but his vision was darkening exceptionally. Everything was blurry and he could no longer see Kakashi's masked face. He felt his mind drifting off.
"Don't worry..." Kakashi added, when he realized that Naruto was finally letting go.
"Kakashi-sensei... I… Kakashi..." He said, weakly, before he unwillingly gave up the battle to stay awake. He let fatigue take over. Kakashi wordlessly stared at his student. His eyes were narrow, indicating some sort of emotion, but he was still rather unreadable.
He did not move for some time. He just let the rain wash away the feelings he carried. Listening to the monotonous melody calmed him.
'Naruto... I am taking you home.'
The greyness grew even colder. When Kakashi arrived at Naruto's empty home, he was eager to learn if he had gained a slight recovery after their recent day. Two peaceful days had passed, but internally, Naruto was dealing with a hardship far greater than anything. The days were dark and the pouring rain had not ceased to fall. The unpredictable weather reflected Naruto's deep feelings. The sun had disappeared behind the thick ribbons of wild clouds. When would the sun appear again, to pour sunbeams of warmth on the earth?
He jumped up to reach the window ledge and landed quietly on it. Staring through the fluttering curtains, he could see a vibrant colour of yellow and a resting form. He carefully slid through the open window and entered the room. Naruto looked up, his cerulean eyes tired, but they had managed to recapture a part of the sky again. He had been asleep till this morning.
"Kakashi-sensei..." Naruto greeted, unenthusiastically, which was simply not like Naruto. Kakashi frowned, before approaching the bedside.
"Feeling any better?" He asked, seriously. Naruto weakly shook his head, barely responding. Taking a life had sucked out all of Naruto's energy, all of his life.
"You do not have to punish yourself like this." Kakashi said, strictly, yet softly. Naruto did not really react, he just felt it inside. Everything was burning. He shifted his gaze to the empty wall, which brought back a sliver of loneliness every time he looked at it. It was empty, just like him. It was bare and colourless, just like his life used to be, before he met Sasuke, Sakura and Kakashi.
He drifted off, only thoughts of the previous day going through his troubled mind. Kakashi noticed. He came closer.
"Naruto..." He said, softly. He tried to touch him on the shoulder, but he pushed his arm away, furiously.
"I don't want to hear it!" He shouted, his voice breaking. He clenched his fists, trying to hold in his emotions, even though he knew it was impossible, for they were engulfing him. Kakashi remained unaffected, for Naruto's reaction was comprehensible.
"You can't suffer like this." Kakashi admitted, kneeling slowly down so he was face to face with Naruto, who was now sitting on the cold bead.
"I hate myself..." He blurted out, his strong eyes still focused on the floor. He could not look Kakashi in the eye.
"Look at me, Naruto…" He said, but Naruto ignored him. He just wanted to disappear. Kakashi gently untied his headband, revealing his captivating eye, or as he put it, his weapon. Naruto noticed slightly, but still refrained himself from looking. He just could not.
"Naruto, you did what was necessary to protect your comrades and the stability of the mission. If you had not executed that action, Sakura could have died." He paused.
"In reality, you have to take lives to protect lives." Kakashi whispered, staring directly in his ocean eyes, which were avoiding his onyx. When Naruto did not answer, Kakashi continued slowly, trying to reach him somehow. He did not know why, but he felt like he truly needed to help him, something he would usually not try to do so hard.
"When I killed someone for the first time, I did it to avenge my friend. I went through hell afterwards. You did it to protect someone, which was very noble. Don't hate yourself..." He admitted, feeling his heart open up more than usual, but he did not care at the moment. He just wanted to help Naruto regain his usual radiance and happiness.
'Can I help him?'
Instead of responding orally to Kakashi's confession and advice, Naruto suddenly through his arms around Kakashi, weeping more loudly this time, but it was still soft. Kakashi's eyes widened first, but slowlt gained a look of understanding when he realized that Naruto was truly going through hell and this was his way of dealing with it. Kakashi awkwardly rested his hand on Naruto's head. He ruffled his golden locks slightly. Naruto released his firm embrace and finally looked at Kakashi's eyes, which were penetrating and sharp, but a rare softness filled them out.
"Thank you..." He whispered, almost inaudible, but Kakashi heard him. And he nodded, not needing any appreciation.
"No problem. You and I are in the same boat anyway." Kakashi uttered, firmly. For the first time in many days, Naruto smiled. It was indeed a frail smile, but it was still a smile. In Kakashi's eyes, any type of smile is an important one. He knew that Naruto would soon be smiling widely like he usually did. He would contribute to protecting and reawakening it. It would blossom again.
"Hey, it's good to see you smiling again." Kakashi admitted, sincerely. When Naruto was sad, it really affected everyone, including himself. Kakashi would always roll his eyes over Naruto's energetic and happy behaviour, but when it was gone, he really missed it. He learned to appreciate it more and more.
"I'll try harder..." Naruto whispered, his weak smile still plastered on his sun kissed face.
"Take your time..." He answered, truthfully. Overcoming something like this was difficult and time was required to face your normal life again.
"I'll help you along the way..." He said, smiling brightly as he stood up. Naruto felt his heart soar. Kakashi's smile was replaced with a seriousness that was so strong, Naruto could feel it.
"From now on, I will prevent that from happening again to you and Sakura." He said, strongly. Naruto shook his head.
"It was not your fault..." Naruto said, echoing Kakashi's own words. Kakashi closed his eyes and slipped on his precious headband again.
"But still... I will try to not let anything happen to you." He said and before Naruto could respond to his rare confession, Kakashi was gone, just like the floating dust. Naruto's face was shocked and a slight look of puzzlement adorned it. He smiled afterwards and lay down, pulling the white covers over him.
Kakashi walked causally through the wet streets. It's amazing how much a person can alter you. He looked up at the endless sky that stretched out.
The sparkling rain outside began to cease, and rays of light broke through the clouds. Kakashi smiled and so did Naruto.
So, did you like it? Please come with your opinions! Tell me anything. I highlighted some sentences just to show the importance and strengthen the feeling of the situation. My next story will come someday. I have two to choose from. Anyway, review please and thank you very much!
-Curlybear
