Disclaimer: Hey sorry I forgot to add one of these to the last chapter but yeah unfortunately Chandler and none of the other characters featured in the brilliant T.V. series called Friends belong to me or were created by me. They are the property of Warner Bros etc. But I can still pretend that Chandler's locked in my room! And they say I'm delusional! Thank you for reviewing the last chapter, if you hadn't this next one wouldn't be here. So really you're to blame for how bad it is! Enjoy!

"OK guys, so have you all got your homework assignments? No excuses Mr. Blake, I recently found out that you don't have a dog so the only conclusion that I can come to about your missing work is that you ate it! Just leave it on my table on your way out boys and have a nice weekend," said an English teacher in his late 20s who taught in a private, all boys high school.

"Sir?" asked a nervous 17 year old Chandler.

"Ah Mr. Bing, I was wondering when you'd come and talk to me. I'm guessing that you chose to write a comedy script instead of going for the newspaper article?" the teacher looked up from his desk and smiled. The kid in front of him was so desperate to prove his worth as a comedienne that even when he didn't have the option to write a comedy script, he had!

"Yes sir. I was just wondering when you'd be able to read it and give me some feedback."

"Eager as usual huh Bing?"

"As a beaver who's just received his drivers license and who's beaver dad has just bought him a new wooden car and he's told all his beaver pals that he'll pick them up so they can drive around making weird nibbling noises at the beaveretts who-"

"Bing you're babbling again," the teacher knew his pupils well, especially this unique specimen.

"Thank you sir," said Chandler who wouldn't have stopped talking about beavers until he was stopped.

"Well I've got a class next as you can see by the scared freshmen standing at my door not sure about whether or not to come in, but I can have it read and reviewed for you by the end of school today. Just come and pick it up from my office. Now get going Bing, those sarcastic comments aren't going to make themselves you know," with that the teacher turned to 6 freshman who were still hovering by the doorway.

"Thank you sir," and with that Chandler went off to his next class, gym. If he'd done what he promised himself he would and gone to the gym every morning then maybe he wouldn't have struck out in baseball and thrown his bat at the coach in mid swing and maybe then he wouldn't have been christened "Batless Bing" by the rest of the class. At least "Batless Bing" was better than "Skidmark" which he'd picked up at camp two summers ago, due to no fault of his own! But "Skidmark" was better still when compared to "Muriel"!

The teacher sat in his office in his lunch hour and took out his meatball sub from his bag.

"Well Bing let's see if this new ones better than 'A Turtle Without It's Shell – a story about a turtle without it's shell'! 'Just Good Friends' hmm, interesting sitcom title has a few meanings, good, but not sure about the word 'Friends' may be better as 'Pals'. Moving on…" thought the teacher as he picked up Chandler's script from his table and began to read.

Just Good Friends

'Bread Tracy Aha!'

by C.M. Bing

Scene: a small dimly lit London bar with people in their twenties sitting at small tables drinking, standing at the bar and a few dancing on circular dance floor in corner. Camera moves in to two guys in their early twenties slumped at the bar, James and Pete.

James: Then Julie ran out crying as if I was a complete bastard for letting her abandon me!

Pete: Oh grow some balls mate! It's been what, two hours? So get over it and look around you. There's some definite talent here tonight! You seen the blonde? I'd definitely make her cry. With pain! If you know what I mean! Eh? Eh?

James: Pete even the stools know what you mean. And I do not care about the "blonde", who by the way is obviously a brunette riding the wave of fashion.

Pete: Ok this is the absolute last time I'm going to ask you and whatever you tell me I'll believe. James, are you or are you not gay!

James: Oh no you have discovered my secret. Yes I'm gay. I lurve men. That's why I'm devastated that my girlfriend left me.

Pete: Oh yeah. But that doesn't explain why you don't like the blonde and how you know she's a bottle blonde. Which by the way, I a straight man don't see. All I know is she's wah-hey!

James: Well that's because I have not been madly in love with my girlfriend for nearly six months. It has all been a façade to get into your stained Calvin Klein's.

Pete: Stained!

James: I want you Pete! Right here and right now!

Pete: I knew it! All those late nights watching football. All those times you "accidentally" walked in on me in the toilet! You were trying to seduce me! You sick, sick…erm…

James: Sicko? Pervert? Satyriasis?

Pete: Yeah. Yeah. And satywho?

James: Satyriasis. It's a male nymphomaniac.

Pete: Oh a male nymphomaniac! Why didn't you just say that?

James: You don't know what that is, do you?

Pete: Not a clue.

James: It's the type of girls you like.

Pete: See now you're speaking my language, you big gay.

James: I am not gay. But if I were, I wouldn't be interested in you.

And on it went for 14 pages about the friendship of 3 guys and 3 girls and how they met in a London (!) bar to answer that age old question; are men really from Mars and women from Venus or are we all from Uranus?

"Come in," called the teacher as he heard a knock at his office door at the end of school.

"Sir, my script?" Chandler walked into the office, the length of the day showed on his face and his clothes that were creased.

"Sit down Bing," invited the teacher motioning to a seat in front of his cluttered desk.

"Oh that does not sound good! Did something happen? Did my mother call about the stuff at the back of my closet 'cos that's not mine? I'm only looking after it for someone 'cos I really like the articles in it!"

"Calm down Bing, no your mother didn't call about your porn collection. But from what my wife tells me about your mum's books you don't need to go out and buy any!" the teacher smiled then silently wondered if he had gone too far.

"Thanks sir. Now not only does my entire class know about the soft porn film that is my mother's mind but the only decent teacher in the school knows too. Woah did I say decent teacher I mean stupid teacher who I hate because you are my natural enemy!"

"Yes of course I am. Now your sitcom script, 'Just Good Friends', my first question, why London?"

"Well 'cos everyone expects a US sitcom to be set in the US and 'cos London seems so cool! They're all stiff upper lipped and ironic and they got some really cool monuments!"

"So you've been to London?"

"Nope! And I never wanna either, all those stupid tourists with their cameras and stupid novelty hats! If I wanted that I'd go to the Statue of Liberty!"

"OK! And 'Bread Tracy Aha!' that's the…"

"Episode title."

"Ah of course the episode title. Well you've really put a lot of thought into this haven't you?"

"Yeah, I've got the whole series worked out. The six friends will become closer and some will become couples after a lot of fights and "will they, won't they"s while others will remain "just good friends". I wanna show people that the battle of the sexes is all in their minds and that the two can get along!"

"Ah ha, interesting."

"You're quite "interesting" suggests that it's more of a pilot episode that never gets taken up but has a couple of kooky fans?"

"Well…"

"One kooky fan?"

"Hmm…"

"No kooky fans."

"No don't get me wrong, its very good, very funny. And I love the constant references to Josh's sexy dead Aunt Iris and I like how you've dealt with sexuality."

"I sense a big but coming on, one that doesn't belong to any of my characters."

The teacher laughed.

"Is it the girls? Are they not likeable enough? I knew it! Does Emma come off as though she has a drinking problem or Jan as if she's schizophrenic 'cos that's not intentional."

"No no the girls are fine, they're as funny as the male characters which is unusual for shows."

"Oh ok, then all the mental problems are intentional."

"It's just that you're too young."

"What? You're saying because I'm 17 I should be in a really bad "band" instead, writing songs called…"Betrayal in the Common Room"?

"No not at all. I would never wish such a horrible future on you. It's just that your youth means that you have not seen much of the world. I don't want to sound patronising, that's not going to stop me from being patronising but at least you know I don't like it, but you haven't met that many people and looked at how they live or what they're like. You have definite talent when it comes to using words, maybe a career in advertising would be good for you, but all your characters have the same slightly sarcastic sense of humour. You need to stop putting yourself into the characters and meet more people so your characters can grow and be independent and different from one another. You understand don't you Chandler?"

"Yeah I do. You're saying I've basically written myself with 5 other me's in a bar. Yeah I can see how that might not be entertaining to watch."

"Bing, like I said you have talent, no denying it and don't throw this script away, just wait until you've met some more people, got to see a few different personalities and then come back to it. OK?"

"Yeah thanks sir. I've got to go now, my mothers going out tonight and she wants me to go over her eyebrows with tweezers."

The teacher looked shocked.

"Ha ha, see that was me joking, ha ha," Chandler tried to cover up his mistake but he convinced no one.

"Yeah, funny. I'll see you on Monday then. Oh and I'm sorry about the stains on the script some of the meat fell out of my sandwich."

"No problem," said Chandler to see his teacher as he left the office and walked home, he'd never liked meat sandwiches but now he hated them and anyone who liked them! "No problem at all, it isn't like you just smeared my dreams with your frickin' sandwich and when threw them away! "Too young"! Why didn't he just say that the only things I should be writing are cheques, when I'm old enough! Oh and there's my age again, waving its youth in my youthful face!"

After Chandler got home, and after he plucked his mother's eyebrows, he threw his script to the back of his cupboard where it lay forgotten while he was away at college and where it then got packed with his things as he moved away from home and where it lay at the back of his cupboard again until in 2004 he moved away to his last home with his wife and children. Then he knew the perfect 6 people, including himself, to base his characters on.

But for now he was done with comedy, be it written or verbal. No more jokes, no more sitcom scripts, no more, even, of his "funny" faces. No more comedy stylings of C .M. Bing. He would now be known as "Chandler M. Bing - the guy formally known as funny". The one person who had had any faith in his dream, his written comedy, had basically told him that he wasn't good enough, at least that was what he heard when his teacher spoke to him. From today he would live an unfunny, straight life, despite what the rumours about his sexuality said. The funny Chandler of yesteryear was dead. Now all he had to do was convince the rest of the world and hopefully himself along the way and resist temptation to say something sarcastic. "Oh God help me!" he willed.

Its me again, I'm sorry this chapter was soooo long and not that funny but isn't hindsight brilliant! Please review!