I do not own Star Wars, but I can dream. And I do not own Lela from Futurama or Mace's teddy undies and the Exorcist comment (they are from the story Pranks by Smenzer). To my first three reviewers of the first chapter,
Link the Courageous- Here you go. Sorry but you'll have to wait for Han, Leia and Vader (I'm working on two, Han Has to go Potty and Leia VS the Kiddnappers, possibly Chewie's Chew Toy Adventure, though) but here is an Ani & Obi one.
Arwen Skywalker- (clamps hands, eyes sparkling) Oh you made me so happy! Here is a new one, I hope you like it.
Star Wars nut- Awesome, down with Palpi. He wanted Luke's blanky because he is an idiot and it was fluffy. I kill for fluffy things. (Shoves a body behind a corner) But maybe it was a fond childhood memory? Quato Bird is like Big Bird. That and I hate him and want him to suffer, this more bashing in this chapter too! -
It was a quiet and peaceful day at the Jedi Temple. Knights, Masters, and Padawans walked through the corridors, meditated in the gardens, trained in the practice courts and the cafeteria staff where running around with their underwear on their heads but that is another story entirely. Now beside the mentally disturbed food servers, two very frisky blue jays and a single homicidal bunny out for blood almost everyone was content.
All except one Anakin Skywalker.
You see the future Sith Lord was having a problem. And no it was not the fact that he would one day be the puppet of Pulpi-weeny and would have to bale him out of prison for mooning or that one day he would be hit on by a very scary little green alien named Yattle. No, it was that his stupid master would not let him have dessert. He had been mostly good this time; well as long as you did not count the time he took a joy ride in a stolen 4895 Stargrazer, the newest and fastest sport ship around, or the time he accidentally poured itching powder into the Temple laundry or when he hung Mace's teddy bear boxers from the Senate Buildings roof or the time…uh, well these were still not the reason for the dessert ban.
Despite the vision of good Master/Padawan relations that everyone thought they had, the two had been having a silent war of epic proportions brewing. You see Ani would not eat his spinage. Like all young people he hated the green slime with a passion only rivaled by cooties and homework, damn homework I will destroy you yet!
Well lets face it he had a point. Ani had lived ten years without eating the stuff on Tattoine. Why eat it now when you can live without it?
That night Anakin had made a daring move when he levitated the evil mush out of the window. He had been very smug at his success till he bit into the spinage burger.
"Grr, stupid Master. I'll show him…" suddenly a little light bulb turned on above his head.
"Excuse me," said a random Jedi that walked past carrying a lamp in the air.
From a deep, dark place where only the insane and evil know about, a plan came to the surface. Ani tried to smirk evilly but he only succeeded in making a fish face. Then he laughed manically but since he was not evil yet, he choked.
Later that day Obi and Yoda were walking down a hall together.
"Like totally digging the Yoda, she was. Loving my speech, she did. Signed her bra, I did."
"Uh Master Yoda, I really don't want to here about some woman that thinks you're sexy. I get bad images." Obi shuddered at the thought of the little green cutie pie being surrounded by busty women, while dressed in tight black leather.
As they turned the corner they ran into a very big sign and fell over.
"DOWN WITH VEGETABLES! DOWN WITH SPINAGE!" Anakin's voice was heard from the middle of a big mob of Padawans and youngsters.
"What is going on?" Mace Windu asked as he came up behind the two other Jedi.
"This is a protest against the cruel and unusual torture of Spinage and other such vegetables," Ani cried over his megaphone.
"Really?" Mace smiled happily as he ran over to the mob, "I'M WITH YOU SKYWALKER!" he was greeted with cheers and embraces.
"What is happening?" Palpi asked as he walked up behind the two Jedi. He had a spinage sandwich in his hands.
"SPINAGE! GET HIM!"
The mob of children and master swarmed over the Chancellor like ants of doom. When they backed away Palpi had been striped to his black briefs and was duct taped to a pole upside down.
Obi-wan looked at Palpatine oddly then ignored him, "NO! ANAKIN HAS TURNED TO THE DARK SIDE! NOW I WILL HAVE TO FIGHT HIM IN A VOLCANO WHILE YELLING THINGS I DON'T MEAN THEN STEAL HIS CHILDREN!"
"Quiet, I say," Yoda hit Obi with his stick, "Possessed, your apprentice is. To the holo room we go, watch documentary on Exorcism we will."
"Master Yoda I do not think that the 'Exorcist' is a documentary," Obi-wan said but still followed the small green man.
"Hm, phase one completed. Now one to two. Hehehe, hahaha, Mwahhok koff!" Anakin had again tried to laugh evilly but had again chocked. He needs serious practice. He walked off as the mob moved on to the cafeteria in order to storm the kitchen. They were promptly chased away by the disgruntled workers who threw slabs of meat at them.
Palpatine hung from his taped cocoon, watching everyone leave, "Help, please?"
Anakin snuck into the temple theater. Normally you could only see documentaries about cheese, old sci-fi films and once a week the 'Rocky Horror Picture Show' which, ironically was still a cult classic and a corner stone of the Jedi Order. It was one of the most horrifying and fascinating rituals of the Order that no one, other then that pesky Lucus man that always hangs around, have seen.
Ani snickered as he pulled out a remote. Waiting for the right moment, he pushed a button just before the pee soup moment of the film. Just as the girl started to spin her head a human looking droid burst through the screen. It too spun its head and spit out spinage on the viewers.
"AHH! DEMON!" one jedi yelled, cowering under his chair.
"ACK!" yelled another who was covered in the greens.
"SITH ATTACK!" a few of the paranoid Jedi, all of which promptly attacked the droid, except that when they drew close they all rammed into each other and fell down.
Obi, greatly disturbed, left the theater.
"Mwahaha. Hey I did it! MWAH-" the stupid boy coughed again.
Obi stepped into a local dinner for lunch. The kitchen hands had moved to barricade the whole west wing, throwing fish and mystery meat at anyone that came close. After ordering Obi looks over to see a girl walk in dressed in black.
"ALL JUJUBEE KNIGHTS BOW BEFORE MY WILL!"
"Why should we?" asked some random Jedi.
"BECAUSE THE POWER OF THE PANCAKE COMMANDS IT!" she held up a pancake with gumdrops stuck to it to form a frowny face.
"All hail the pancake!" cried the Jedi's while they groveled before the Mighty Pancake. One even brought out a Jawa for a living sacrifice.
"What is wrong with everyone today?"
Back at the temple.
Dooku stood on the roof beside the water tank pouring pixy sticks and sugar into the water, "Mwahaha, so come to the power of the sugar!"
Dooku threw his head back to laugh but fell off the roof when a random flying lobster smacked him in the face.
Palpatine looked at Dooku who lay before him, also upside down with a big rip in the back of his pants showing Barney undies.
"Help?"
Obi-wan shook his head; maybe it was best if he had missed his coffee break if everyone was acting like this. Someone must have put something in there.
The young Jedi took a bite of his BLT. He chewed for a minute then spit it out onto that cone headed Master. Yes, sitting there gleaming smugly at him from between the bread was indeed spinage.
Anakin and the girl giggle, yes giggle as they watch the bearded Jedi spit out the evil substance. "Ha, phase two complete. Thanks,"
"Ah, I love making evil plots work," she said as Ani tried an evil laugh again. "NO! You have to laugh from the gut, the gut!"
The two laughed together, "MWAHAHAHAHA!"
Anakin walked into their apartment, happy at his victory. After this his master would never try to feed him spinage again. Grabbing an apple from the table he took a big bite.
"YUCK!" looking at the apple he found that it was only a fake skin covering a wad of spinage. "CURSE YOU MASTER!"
out in the court yard.
"SOME ONE HELP ME!" palpatine cried as the homicidal bunny drew closer, a clever in one fuzzy paw.
Years later Anakin stood before Palpatine, trying to deside to turn or not.
"You can save Padme," the old fart ball said.
"I don't know…there are lots of other fish in the universe. In fact I saw this really hot chick with one eye named Lela."
The soon to be emperor blinked, "You can destroy all the Sand People."
"Naw, I'm good. Already put the fear of god in em."
"Um, you can destroy all the spinage farms," Palpi tried in a last ditch chance.
"HELL YEAH! Dark side here I come!"
Hey! Don't get mad at me for this, it has been buisy this summer. I had to go to Arizona by car from Pennslvania to visit my uncle then working all the time. Working sucks! Anyways I hope you liked it.
Hey, if you wanna see something funny go to and check out 'The Movie Spoof 2" it is a hilarious fan film.
