WAHH! I CAN'T ANSWER THE REVIEWS! put up a new rule against it. (pouts) Anyways just know that I am happy for the reviews I get.

I don't own star Wars, but I do own a digital Yoda pet! If only I knew where it was…


Leia VS the Kidnappers.

On the big blue ball that is known as Alderboom, ups I mean Alderaan, there was a princess. And like other princess' this girl was a tad bit spoiled…

"I WANNA SUNDAY!" little Leia screamed at the top of her seven year old lungs.

Okay, so she was very spoiled. Of course we all know that Leia will someday grow out of this phase and be one kick ass rebel but know she is nothing but a spoiled brat who is about to face a strange trial.

The Talk with her foster father.

Few know this fact but Bail Organa was the overprotective type of parent. Which was why we find the two out on a balcony.

"Now Leia, tell me what you learned." Bail asked.

"Don't let myself get caught by little green men who talk backwards, Sith Lords with breathing problems, and never fall for scruffy nerf-herders." Leia said happily.

"That's my girl." Bail said before heading off to his Rebel Anonymous meating. And no, that is not a typo; they were in fact playing with slabs of meat as replicas of Empire forces.

Leia was now alone and bored. Since her nurse was out at the Saloon on the second moon she had no one to pester. Deciding to go find something to do, she snuck past the drunken guards and into the city. Little did she know that she was being followed by shadowy stalkers. Hard to figure out whom they are huh?

Right after Leia passed the frozen food stall the stalkers attacked, throwing a yellow pillowcase with little purple lightsabers on it over her and dragging her into a building with the words, "Kidnappers Hide Out, no Cops aloud".

Dropping the princess out of the stupid pillowcase, the kidnappers commence with doing a happy victory dance that is a mix of the Macarena and the Chicken dance. Their all dressed in pink shirts and hula skirts for some reason that even the maddest minds could not figure out.

"Where am I" Leia asked looking all cute. But behind the cute face was a sinister plot.

"Our secret hideout." One of the guys answered.

"Why?"

"Because with you as our hostage the King will have to give into our demands to release the coconuts from captivity and back into the wild!" the man cried, striking a heroic pose as he pointed at a large yellow spot in the ceiling.

"Why?"

"Because they have suffered persecution and degradation under the hand of the strawberry loving government!"

"Why?"

"Because the strawberries think they can just step all over coconuts just because they come from trees instead of bushes."

"Why?"

The guy seemed to be on the verge of a breakdown, "Cause that is where they come from."

"Why?"

"Cause when a mommy coconut loves a dadd-" he stopped, "Why am I answering you, you're the hostage."

"Cause if you don't the deranged purple cat will eat you," Leia stated as if one of the most obvious of facts.

"Hah! What do you think we are? Idiots?"

"Yes."

OoO

Back at the castle, Leia's nanny Mrs. Puffnfresh returned home from the phyc- I mean the saloon. You see since her mother died and her dad was away a lot, the poor woman had to take care of the demon child.

"Where is the princess?" she asked one of the hung over guards.

"Uh, I think she escaped from under our nose, ran into the city and got kidnapped by morons in hula skirts. But that is only a guess."

At that moment, because of the deteriorating ozone layer and a meteor which fell at that moment to kill an entire city and one very depressed clown, the clouds parted and sent a beam of deadly uv infused happy light upon the woman.

Then, to make the woman's day even better, Padme herself rose from the dead and walked through the gates, "I'm here for my daughter. I'll hold her, and pet her, and call her George."

Alas it was not meant to be for right then the gate, fueled by voodoo curses cast by many fans who blamed Padme for Anakin's fall, fell on top of her so she was squished into a bloody pancake. Then was eaten by blood thirsty pigeons.

Mrs. Puffnfresh looked up to the heavens and screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

OoO

"RAAR!"

The kidnappers cowered in the corner in fear of the child. Having found a bag of powdered sugar and a king sized chocolate bar, she was now on a bad sugar rush. The men hugged each other in fear as the little girl tore furnisher apart while foaming at the mouth.

"STUPID PINK SHIRT MEN! SEND OUT THE GIRL WITH HER HANDS UP!"

They all ran out in tears to escape the evil that was a Sith's hyper daughter. Before she was finally sedated five cities were destroyed and one very angry cow was kicked.


not very funy, I know but I will try harder! Yes I do blame Padme. I like Leia so I did not torture her as much as others. REVIEW TO MAKE THE DERANGED PURPLE CAT HAPPY!