Note: TW for mentions/descriptions if suicide
Fallen autumn leaves crunched under Thomas's shoes as he and Richard walked down a long path that wound its way through the cemetery, which Izzie's research the day before, had led them too. They took their time as they only had a rough idea of exactly where Jack was buried. The sky above them was overcast, covered in a mottled blanket of greys and whites. A gentle crisp breeze tickled his cheeks, numbing his skin as it rustled the neatly planted trees around them, dotted across the landscape of statues and grey headstones. The mid-afternoon London traffic hummed in the background, but as they continued their search, Thomas felt as though they may as well be outside of the city altogether.
Richard's brow was furrowed in concentration as he scanned the names and dates on the grave stones. His hands kept darting into his long coat pockets only to be removed a few seconds later. He hadn't said a word to him since they got off the bus earlier. They had been walking at a slow pace for a while now and Thomas could tell Richard was getting more and more anxious by the second. "We got the right place didn't we?"
"Yeah, I double checked."
Richard tugged at his collar and tie. "What if Jack isn't here? Or maybe there are more than one Jack Firth's? Jack's a common enough name."
"Richard." Thomas stopped him, with a hand on his forearm. "Richard," he repeated. "We'll find him. This is a big place, Izzie warned us we'd need to allow enough time."
"Sorry, you must think I'm acting strange." Richard looked down at his hands, uncharacteristically nervous.
"You're anxious that's all." Thomas took a quick glance around them before putting his hand on Richard's shoulder, encouraging his partner to look up at him again. "You're only human. You're doing the right thing."
Richard nodded with a tight smile. "Thank you. We should carry on looking."
They continued down the main path and then took another that branched off below some beech trees, their leaves golden and dropping with each brush of the wind. The dates on the stones were looking more and more in the right time frame. Thomas's eyes began to ache with the effort of reading every single stone. The way Richard blinked suggested he was feeling the same. But then Thomas saw it. "Richard." He touched his arm again. "Over there." They stepped carefully between graves, making their way respectfully to where he'd seen it. Jack's resting place in the shadow of a small tree, that in the summer would be bathed in dappled shade this time of year. Thomas had hated graveyards and cemeteries. He'd walked through them so many times, to and from church on Sunday's. Each time he saw a grave where the words etched into the stone were overcome with lichen, weeds growing instead of flowers, grass long and unkept, he couldn't help but wonder if that would be how his would look. At the time, he didn't think anyone would miss him. After his attempt on his life, when he lay in bed recovering from the cuts he'd made, he had been given a lot of time to think. He knew of course that if Phyllis and Andy hadn't found him in time, he wouldn't have made it. He also knew that he wouldn't have been allowed a burial on sacred ground, considering the circumstances of his death. He looked closer at Jack's headstone. He felt some peace in what he saw; freshly arranged flowers, everything looking cared for and tidy. "Shall we?" he asked Richard, who seemed rooted to the spot, reading the inscription over and over again.
In loving memory of Jack Firth
10th March 1890
17th June 1919
Much loved son, brother and friend
Now with heaven's stars
'And friend', Thomas read to himself again, his focus on those two words. Jack had a sister, one who had written to Richard to tell him the news. She must have known about them. Richard should have drawn that conclusion years ago too. He looked at those words again. 'And friend.' He was sure now that they referred to Richard in the only way they could. "Do you want some time?"
"You can stay. But if I start talking, I might not be talking to you. There's a lot I never said, that I should have."
"I understand." Thomas squeezed Richard's hand. He didn't bother looking around to check if they were alone. He was sure they were. He stepped back a few paces, to give him some space but not so he abandoned him entirely.
"Flowers," Richard stated. "I was hoping there would be." He stepped closer, put his hand on top of the headstone and ran his hand along the top so several small drops of rain left from the night before ran down over the words. "I'm here now. I know it took me a while, too long to be right, but I am. I could tell you the reason I told everyone else, the lie, more likely the excuse, but the truth is, I was scared. I didn't want to see this, it only confirmed it. Recently though, I've been through some stuff, and I come to realise I needed to see you, to say somethings." Thomas watched as Richard brushed the water from his hand onto the side of his coat. His arms hung loose down at his sides as he continued to speak. "Recently, I found myself thinking of you more because I needed you to fix me, but you couldn't." Richard looked up at the sky for a moment as he let off a singular sorrowful laugh. "I don't even know if you can hear me or see me. If not, I'm just making myself look a fool aren't I? If you can, then you can laugh at my expense if you want, or you could hear me out, I don't mind. I don't want you to worry about me. If you are around, then I don't know how much you've seen, but I'm okay now, and I'm not just saying that. The amount of times I told you I was okay and then you corrected me, and made me confess my true feelings..." Richard laughed again, sad still but with a sweeter note. "You were always good at that. You were stubborn and persistent, and I thank you for it. You fixed me back then because of it. Anyway, sorry. I'm rambling." Thomas listened as the note of Richard's voice changed. He watched from behind as he saw Richard's shoulders slump. "I miss you Jack. So, so much. I don't think I let myself realise how much for a long time, years. Life swept me up, but I think that is what you would have wanted me to do. You always encouraged me to carry on living. Izzie helped me, and others I've come to know since." Richard glanced back at Thomas. "I should have checked up on you more before you...before you died. I knew you were busy, you had a lot of sick patients. I should have told you to rest, I should have seen you were ill. Maybe if I had then," Richard's voice wobbled, as his breath stuttered out. "I loved every moment with you, every single one. I only wish we had more time, because you were one of the best Jack and you didn't deserve this. Nothing we can do about it now. But I should have said this before, a long time before. I wish I told you. I love you Jack. They say you knew, but I wish I had just come out and said it." Richard stopped speaking. He stood, breathing heavily. "Thomas."
Thomas jumped, used to Richard speaking, though not to him. "Yes?"
"I should introduce you to someone Jack," Richard continued, speaking to the headstone. "I love you, I always will, but one can love two. There's plenty of room for you both. Over five years ago, my job at Buckingham, the one you got for me, led me to a grand house and estate called Downton Abbey. It was there that I met its butler, Thomas Barrow." Richard turned back to Thomas, motioning for him to come and stand next to him. Thomas waited until Richard nodded again at him to be sure, before joining him at his side. "Now I know what you must think. He's not old enough to be a butler," Richard smirked in Thomas's direction. "Don't tease him about that, he hates it. But I love him, we've got a life together. I left Buckingham for him in the end." Thomas glanced around him. Richard's voice was not hushed, his words could be heard by anyone. He saw no one. "He's handsome though, don't you think? It was him who saved me this time, him and a few friends. I hope you agree that he's good for me. I hope you like him." Richard chuckled to himself, "I am glad he wasn't around when you and I were together as he would have been a problem, three's a crowd as they say. Or as another friend of mine would say, three's a party."
Thomas laughed with him. "Larry. You're talking about Larry?"
"Yes. And it's a good job he wasn't around then either," Richard said to Thomas and to Jack. "I wish I could see you, even just one last time. But I hope you're okay, peaceful. I hope you can see that I am getting there too. I can't promise to be here often since I live up north now, but I do promise, whenever I am here I will visit. I won't hide anymore." Richard knelt down on the damp grass, and ran a finger over Jack's name. "I love you still." A single silent tear ran down over his face. Thomas knelt beside him. He put an arm around Richard's shoulder. Richard leaned into him as a second and a third tear fell. If anyone saw them, if anyone had a problem he would give them what for, he privately decided, because he was not letting go.
Thomas looked up at the dark grey sky as a wet drop ran down his cheek also.
…
The light was fading fast, accelerated by the cloudy sky, as Thomas and Richard approached Izzie's house on their return from the cemetery. Richard had said very little on their return journey, but Thomas thought they could be cautiously optimistic that this would be a turning point in Richard's recovery. "You know you did good, don't you?" he said as their shoes clicked on the pavement.
"You mean it was worth the pain for the sake of moving forward?" Richard asked, keeping his face neutral. "It was. Thank you for this."
"It was you who made the decision to find him Richard, not me."
"Yes, but I would never have even been in the city if it weren't for you, so accept my thanks please?"
Thomas smiled with a small nod. "Alright." Richard shook his head and grinned to himself. "What?"
"Oh nothing. Only that, looking back on our afternoon, I fear I may have overdone it with the actual talking. I said a lot back there didn't I? Bet I sounded like a fool to anyone listening, speaking to a slab of stone."
"You said what you needed to say. Who's to know whether he heard you or not, but you sounded right to me," Thomas reassured him. "Yes if any other person had seen you they would have initially thought you'd gone barmy." Thomas bit his lip to stop his laugh from escaping. "If I didn't know you, and I saw you telling a grave about your handsome b—" Thomas stopped himself just in time, forgetting somehow he was on a busy street. "You know."
"You're being wonderfully sympathetic Mr Barrow, in your usual way. Teasing me like you do," Richard replied with good natured sarcasm.
"Just glad to see you smile, even if you're completely crackers."
"Crackers? You've never said that before, where did you pick that one up from?"
"I have said that," Thomas retorted as Richard searched for his key to unlock the door, only to find it open already. "Course I have, you must be getting forgetful in your old age Mr Ellis."
"Fine one to talk since you have two years on me Mr Barrow."
They stepped inside and shut the door behind them, red faced and ruffed from the winter breeze. "What are we even talking about Richard?"
"Honestly." Richard put his hat on the peg nearest the door. "I haven't the foggiest Mr Barrow. Seems we're both out of our minds after all."
Neither of them held back their laughter then. Richard's hand felt cool to the touch on Thomas's neck as he took his hat off for him. Thomas's heart skipped in the way it did every time he knew Richard was about to kiss him, but something else caught his attention before Richard had the chance. "Someone else is here. Look." Thomas pointed at the coat and cap, hung on another peg in Izzie's hallway. "Did Izzie tell you she was having visitors?"
"No, she never mentioned anything."
They heard voices from the kitchen. Izzie and someone else who at first he couldn't recognise. He listened intently, ignoring the ticking clock in the background. "Wait, it can't be." Thomas rushed forward, leaving Richard to follow him towards the kitchen where a warm yellow light glowed out from the open door into the darkened hallway. He gasped in surprise. "Jimmy?"
"Oh hello Thomas," Jimmy, his old friend and former flame (sort of), turned and greeted him as though he wasn't surprised to see him.
"Jimmy?" Richard echoed. "No one told us you were going to be popping by." He gave Izzie a look. Izzie just smiled back, the picture of innocence.
"I was going to come and see you, since we were in the same part of the country finally, I've never seen you play," Thomas beamed. Jimmy shook His and Richard's hands warmly in turn.
"You may get that chance soon enough." Jimmy gave Izzie a knowing look that had Thomas confused. "As long as all goes to plan."
"What do you mean?" Thomas narrowed his eyes in suspicion, still grinning like a fool. "What are you both up to?"
"Izzie, you've been keeping something from both of us since we— no, before we got here. What's going on?" Richard joined in.
"You'll need to wait a little longer, sorry. My lips are sealed," she sniggered, making a zipping motion with her fingers across her lips. "As our Jimmy's so don't you go trying to get anything out of him either of you."
"Would we ever?" Thomas joked.
"I'm hoping that you and Richard will come with me soon. There's somewhere I want to show you, and someone I want you to meet. It's essential to the plan, trust me," Jimmy chuckled, his eyes sparkling as he enjoyed teasing his two friends.
"Sounds intriguing. Who?" Thomas asked.
"No, sorry. Like she said, lips sealed."
"We'd love to come with you Jimmy, right Richard?" Thomas looked to his side only to notice Richard frowning. "Richard?"
"If it were any other day I would, but I've had a tiring day, so I hope you can excuse me. I need some time to think."
"That's okay Richard. I knew today was not ideal when Izzie mentioned you and Thomas had gone out." Jimmy, although visibly disappointed, did seem genuine in his understanding, which made Thomas wonder how much he knew. Then again, he thought to himself, if he's part of some planned surprise that must be to help Richard, then he had to know some details.
"Thomas, you should go though. It's been a long time since you and Jimmy have had a proper chance to catch up hasn't it?" Richard encouraged.
"You sure?"
"I am. Go and then tell me all about whatever this is."
"You'll be okay? I thought you were?"
"I am, I just...it's all a lot to think about and take in. Like I said, I just need a bit of time." Richard squeezed Thomas's shoulder and looked directly into his eyes. "I'm okay, don't worry about me, just have some fun."
Thomas returned a unsure smile, but accepted Richard's explanation. It was stupid of him to expect after a bit of banter on the walk back that Richard would be perfectly alright again. As for himself, he did want to relive some old times with Jimmy. Well not exactly all of them, but he'd missed him. "Where are we headed then Jimmy?"
"Get your coat Thomas, then I'll take you there."
…
After a short ride on the underground somewhere Thomas could only recognise, not being a Londoner, as heading in a general west direction, he found himself following Jimmy through the twists and turns of small streets and narrow alleys. Thomas relied completely on Jimmy as his guide as he didn't have the foggiest clue as to where he was going. His feet splashed as he failed yet again to avoid another puddle along a dim back street. He had trouble keeping up with Jimmy who was walking with similar determination as to a dog following a trail. The street was only lit by a street light at each end, and the long shadows that stretched out from either side to meet in the middle, made Thomas speed up his pace to match Jimmy's so they walked side by side. He would be lost without him, literally. "How much do you know about Richard?" he asked, between heavy breaths.
"Izzie didn't go into details, she said he's felt as though everyone has been acting behind his back, keeping secrets so she was careful. I know he's got some trauma resulting from the war that has re-emerged, and that it brought up the painful memories of someone he cared about whom he lost not long after the war. That was where you two had just returned from wasn't it?" Jimmy asked.
"Richard needed some closure, I think only time will tell if it helped." Thomas shoved his hands into his coat pocket, against the cold, keeping a wary eye on those shadows.
"How did Jack die? If I can ask?"
"I didn't know you knew his name?"
"It made conversation easier."
Thomas nodded. "Spanish flu. He was a doctor."
Jimmy looked to the ground as he walked. "Oh."
Thomas cursed himself for not remembering sooner. "Your parents, sorry Jimmy I forgot."
"It's fine Thomas. I got my own closure years ago, before I met you. But look I am helping, well I was roped into it by two women so I had little choice," Jimmy chuckled, "because you're my friend as is Richard, and I find myself in the perfect situation to finally be useful to someone."
"Two women? Izzie and who? Lucy?"
"Well yes but someone else. You remember you called me once to ask for a hangover cure for Chris? I had company."
"You're girlfriend slash boss? That's who we're meeting?" Thomas guessed. The beaming smile on his friend's face answered for him. "So we're going to a club? Bit early isn't it?"
"Yes, but she wants to meet you as the first step to her part in Izzie's marvelous plan to help Richard," Jimmy said in a jolly voice.
They slowed down and took another few corners, crossing roads until they reached another street, thankfully lit up this time. They passed under a hanging sign that was lit up by lights on which the word Joanne's was written in flowing italic font. Jimmy led them past some windows all with the same name, blinds drawn. On the other side of the street two men leaned against a wall, one with a cigarette hanging loose on his lower lip. Thomas tried to avoid eye contact, but couldn't ignore it when the one with the cigarette poignantly ogled at him adding a flirtatious wink for good measure. Thomas felt himself blush like a school boy, feeling ridiculous. "What sort of club is this Jimmy?"
"Just a club like any other." Jimmy answered, a bit too quickly, as he looked at the two men now behind them also. "Those two, they're fine."
"You know them?"
"Yeah funny really, but I have quite a few friends who are in the same circle as you so to speak. Never expected that."
"They were looking at you then, not me."
"No, I'm pretty sure they were looking at you. But anyway, here we are. Sorry I was walking so fast, but I've only got a few hours until I play here." Jimmy led him to a side door which he unlocked and ushered Thomas inside.
Thomas frowned to himself as he followed Jimmy down a narrow corridor with a red carpet. Jimmy wouldn't lie to him, but he felt as though there was something he, and maybe this building, was hiding. He knew Jimmy and especially Izzie, wouldn't be leading him and Richard into anywhere they would be in danger or anything he wouldn't be happy with. Still, he knew enough by now to know that people like him congregated in some parts of London, just like other cities, more than others. The sound of singing distracted him from his nerves. They stepped down a couple of stairs, turned a corner, and passed a glass door marked private in frosted glass where he could see the stairs descending to a lower level beyond. As they headed along another corridor, Thomas noting that the place seemed bigger on the inside, the sound of the woman's singing grew louder. "Who is that?"
Jimmy stopped and pushed open the door open to an ajar position, but remained in the corridor. "We should wait until she finishes. She's rehearsing and hates to be interrupted."
"Okay." Thomas took off his hat as they listened. When he had first heard the singing he thought someone had a gramophone on, but the voice was too sharp, too clear to be recorded. He recognised the song. Izzie had the record and judging by how often she played it, it must be a favourite. "My Angel Put the Devil in Me?"
"Yes, you know it?"
"I heard Izzie listening to it a few days ago."
"Joanne hasn't performed it before, but she likes American jazz. She was in New York when it was first recorded in 1930."
"She has the perfect voice for it," Thomas complimented. Her singing stopped as the song ended, the instrumental music now crackling as the record ended.
"Jimmy Kent, are you going to stand out there all night?"' a confident female voice called out.
Jimmy smirked. "That's our cue."
As soon as Jimmy opened the door Thomas's eyes lit up. This was no haphazard tacky club. The whole room shone, smooth lights on the walls, and tables under neat glass lampshades. There was a bar at the furthest end of the large space and an open polished dance floor sunken by a ring of tables on a raised level about two feet above. Thomas could easily see this place at its peak. Couples dancing to the latest music performed live, groups occupying the tables around the dance floor, the sound of chatter and clinking glasses, it all seemed far above what he'd expected. At the other end, raised a touch further was a stage dominated by a shining black grand piano."'Jimmy," he breathed. "This place is amazing." He knew Richard would love it and wished he had chosen to come with them now.
"I know, I love walking in here." Jimmy had a look of love on his face as they stepped down onto the centre dance floor. Thomas wasn't sure if Jimmy's look of awe was directed at the piano, or the woman sitting on it. "I didn't want to interrupt you," Jimmy said to the woman who slid elegantly off the piano and met them halfway. She was taller than Jimmy, though that may have been due to the heels on her shoes. She was dressed up in an outfit that wouldn't be out of place at the exclusive clubs in the city. Her champagne blonde hair styled in the latest fashion, complete with a single feathered headband which she removed tossing it with a flick of her wrist to land on a nearby table.
"I love it, but it is not the most comfortable to be wearing before it's necessary." She leant in and gave Jimmy a quick kiss. "I thought there was going to be another?" she asked, looking at Thomas.
"Richard was not feeling up to it. It was not the best time, but I know he'll come by next time. Thomas looks impressed already." Jimmy turned to Thomas. "Sorry I should introduce you. Thomas, this is Joanne Simpson."
"Pleasure to meet you Miss Simpson," Thomas greeted her. "This place is wonderful, as is your voice."
Joanne returned his hand shake, her hand covered up to her elbow in black silky gloves. "Thank you Mr Barrow, it is very special to me, put a lot of work into getting it, but you should see it when we're open. Really comes alive then trust me." The metal beads shone and jangled on her golden yellow sleeveless evening dress that was cut low as per the fashion down the back. Even though his head was never turned by a beautiful woman, Thomas could see why Jimmy was attracted to her. "Shame Richard couldn't make it. Izzie, she's a good friend of mine, told me he's charming as are you Mr Barrow. You two clearly make a wonderful couple."
"I...err...we get on very well, yes," Thomas stumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.
Joanne responded with an apologetic laugh, "Oh, I'm sorry Mr Barrow. But no need to be coy with me, I don't judge people in that way. If I held snobbish opinions like that let me tell you I would lose half of my band and the best barman this side of London can buy. We don't need to waste time with explanations that don't need to be said. I am the last person to hold anything against inspiring people like you."
Thomas gawped. He'd never been called that before. "Inspiring? I'm not sure I'm that but I'll take it as a compliment."
"Please do, the world is fairer towards some people more than others. Those who don't fit in, but still make the most of their lives I see as inspiring. But anyway." Joanne clapped her hands together in a single motion. "I hope you tell Richard all about this place and get him to come along the next time."
"Next time?"
"Yes. I know, Izzie has sworn everyone in on this plan to help Richard to secrecy, but we are at the stage where thankfully, because I'm useless with waiting, I can reveal at least the first part of the plan."
"We have that in common," Jimmy smirked in Joanne's direction and then to Thomas. "I've been wanting to tell you for weeks."
"Izzie, Lucy, Richard and yourself are invited back here tomorrow evening for a jolly good time. I know you and Richard are good on your feet. It will be nice to have some patrons who can dance well. I hope that it will be the start of helping Richard make some new memories of this city that he can cherish."
"And," Jimmy continued after Joanne, "You can finally see me play. The last time you were ill and missed out. But I have a bigger piano now, love her almost as much as the woman who owns it."
"Glad to hear it's almost as much Jimmy," Joanne quipped. "So Mr Barrow, what do you say?"
Thomas looked between the couple and then at their surroundings. He knew it wouldn't be possible to dance with Richard here, he'd doubt they'd ever get anything this fancy for people like them but they had not been out together for a long time. "I think this is just what he needs Miss Simpson. I cannot thank you enough, nor you Jimmy."
"Don't mention it Mr Barrow, or can I call you Thomas since I hope this is the beginning of a new friendship?" she asked.
"You may."
"Let me get you a drink, on the house." Without waiting for a response she ushered them over to the bar. "I know it's a little early but gin with a little something perhaps?" she suggested.
"A small glass, but that will do nicely Miss Simpson." Thomas sat on a stool, Jimmy next to him who leaned over the counter and helped himself to a glass.
"Call me Joanne."
"Thank you, Joanne."
"The usual pre-evening drink Jimmy?" she asked.
"Probably best."
Thomas frowned at the drink Jimmy was served."'Lemonade? Since when do you not drink Jimmy?"
"I do but not before a show. I play best with a clear head. Anyway, as you know alcohol in large amounts does not agree with me, so it's best as I said," Jimmy mumbled, a small flush creeping into his cheeks.
Thomas recalled a few occasions at Downton where he had rescued Jimmy in a drunken state before Mr Carson could see him. "Yeah I remember." He shook his head as he took a drink. "You own this place then?"
"I do now, yes Thomas." Joanne pulled up a stool next opposite them on the other side of the counter, that with the rest of the place gleamed in its pristine appearance. "Technically the bank owned it for a while when I first got the place, and it needed a lot of work, but we got there in the end. I started by myself, hired a few people who I knew through my late brother, and then years later I was in need of another piano man." Joanne looked over her glass as she took a sip at Jimmy.
In the background the sound of a telephone began to ring. "Shall I get it?" Jimmy asked.
"No, no I'll sort it." Joanne downed the rest of her glass. "Not sure how long I'll be so if I don't get back in time, it was great to finally meet you Thomas. Give my best to Richard okay?"
"I will, and thank you for your help."
Joanne rushed up some stairs and through a door at the top of the stage. "So what do you think?" Jimmy asked.
"Of her? She's great Jimmy, perfect for you. You play and she sings, is that the arrangement?"
"Yeah, I never thought things would turn out so well. At one point it seemed as though I was destined to be a failure, to myself and to you."
"We didn't start the best, and that wasn't all your fault. But you got better, as did I."
"S'pose we did." Jimmy gave him a grateful smile.
"What is it though with tomorrow night being part one of the plan to help Richard? What else is planned? I can't help but be curious, Jimmy."
"I wish I could tell you. Joanne has something else she runs, something that only she can introduce you too. I know about it, but it's part of a secret that only she can tell. It wouldn't be right for me to say more. But you can know that if tomorrow goes well, you will find out soon enough."
Thomas wasn't sure if he felt excited or nervous by Jimmy's cryptic explanation. "It's a good thing though?"
"Course! Really good. You'll both love it, but it has to be carefully...approached? I'm not sure of the word."
"Okay. As much as i want too, I won't push you for more details. Only…"
"Only?"
"She said, late brother?"
"Another part of the story that only she can tell," Jimmy said, a sadness in his voice. "She's been through a lot. She's more than just the appearance of the glamorous club singer."
Thomas finished his glass. "Aren't we all?"
Notes:
-This chapter required a lot of research. I had no idea whether someone's professional title was out on their gravestone. It was hard to find a solid answer but I left out the 'Dr' part of Jack Firth's name in the end.
-Good fun researching 1920s/30s dresses and clothing. I've done a bit of this for my novel I'm working on as well.
-Before anyone calls me out on historical inaccuracies, the song 'My Angel Put the Devil in Me' is an american jazz song composed a lot more recently than 1930 by Murray Gold. It features in the Doctor Who episode Daleks in Manhattan and then later again in another episode, The End of Time. I just came up with the idea of this scene and most of those to come after listening to the song. I thought about using a real song from the 1930s but decided to go with this one, why not?! As you can tell, I am a whovian.
-If you want to listen to the song yourself, it's on youtube and spotify. Search 'My Angel Put the Devil in Me Yamit Mamo'
