Chapter 14, "How Many More?"
Lily had to hold on to James because she was so surprised. James was smiling, "A promise is a promise," he told her.
"Rin! Sirius! Remus! Peter! Professor's! James! Oh my God! Thank you!" Lily jumped hugging him.
"So, I take it you like it."
"Love it!" Lily exclaimed looking around. She saw streamers and balloons littering the floor, and a big Christmas tree. "How could you get a Christmas tree in here without me noticing?"
"Not important."
"Lily look, we got karokay!" Sirius exclaimed, pointing at the stereos on each side of the room, and a machine in the middle.
"I believe he means kareoke," Remus translated.
"This is wonderful! Thank you!"
"Happy Birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday dear Lily, Happy birthday to you," Lily turned around and saw a huge cake.
"Oh… my… God," Lily breathed, "Is that mine?"
"Of course, silly, who's would it be?" Rin said smiling almost jumping because she was so excited.
"I don't know what to say."
"Make a wish, Sirius is about to eat it with the candles lit!" Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling more than ever before.
Lily closed her eyes and made a wish, then blew out all the candles in one blow.
"What did you wish for?"
"Sorry Rin, if I tell you it wont come true," Lily thought her grin wasn't going to ever leave her face.
"What do you say we start this birthday off by starting it the same way we did last time," James said whipping his wand, their clothes were replaced with the muggle clothes they wore at the ball their parents made them attend.
"What do you say?"
"Why not," James took Lily's hand and they walked into the center of the room. Music started playing.
"At least we don't have to worry about Voldemort attacking us again. This is really nice, I can't believe you remembered."
"Why not? Well- Sirius already attacked to cake, look," James pointed out. Sirius had eaten a fourth of the cake and McGonagall had tried to drag him away.
"Wow, can he eat, or can he eat?" Lily and James snickered.
"He's not even hungry, when he's hungry he just a regular pig."
"He looks like one now."
"I heard that!"
"Sirius has hearing like a dog, and the eating abilities of a pig," Lily snickered.
The song ended, and people were lined up eager to start singing.
"This is the best day, Sourculdron is gone, I had a snowball fight, and a birthday I actually enjoyed. Who's singing first?"
"Catherine Sugarsweets singing The Bloke Across the Lake by The Potion Brewers!" A booming voice said though no one was visible.
"Guess that answers my question," Lily was smiling as her best friend walked on the stage taking the microphone into her hand.
"What's this?" Magma had flown over to Lily; a letter clutched in her break, she was completely bewildered.
"Who?"
"This can't be good, no one gets mail during dinner, open it and let's see what it says," Catherine urged her.
Lily opened it and started to read, "Okay, I have to go," her voice was shaking, her lip trembling. She stood up closed her eyes for a second and pinched her nose; she didn't want to cry in front of anyone, and walked quietly out the giant oak doors.
James saw her pinch her nose and knew that it meant something so bad had happened that it made her want to cry. He got up followed her out of the Great Hall, not realizing Sirius hit him in the back with a charm. When he got out he saw no sign of her anywhere.
A screen showed up in front of Sirius, like a video camera was taping something from above. James and he was looking for something, or someone.
"Sirius Marigold Black, take this camera off me now!" James yelled looking up.
"Hey, don't use my middle name, you know how I hate it! I'm taking it off, I'm taking it off," he said glumly. He really wanted to see what was going on, but he knew what James could do when he got angry.
Spend all your time waiting/ for that second chance/ for a break that would make it okay/ there's always one reason/ to feel not good enough/ and it's hard at the end of the day/ I need some distraction/ oh beautiful release/ memory seeps from my veins/ let me be empty/ and weightless and maybe/ I'll find some peace tonight. Lily was singing, choking on every few words because of the tears she was trying to hold back.
"Why did you have to go?" she asked no one, speaking mostly to the stars. Only the air seemed to be responding, as to say it knows how she felt, swirling around her. Hugging her.
"It was their time to go," James had just appeared at the door. Lily was trying to wipe away the tears, to make it look like she never cried.
"What are you doing here? You gave me such a fright."
"I wanted to make sure you were okay, I saw you fighting back the tears," James replied walking over to her, concern was marked all over his eyes.
"I'm fine, really I am," Lily tried to convince him, but it wasn't working.
"No, no you're not, you know why? Because when Scarlet died, and you had to cope with it, you thought you were going to go insane. You haven't gone insane, Scarlet was like a sister remember, and you thought only Scarlet could keep you sane. Well, not only Scarlet can, I can, and Rin can, Sirius, yes Sirius can, Remus, even Peter. We're all here for you."
"Thanks, but-" Lily couldn't hold the tears, the came pouring out.
"Shh, it's okay, with one life gone, another is born, remember," James said rapping his arms around her.
"Stop, calm down Lily, you don't cry. Stay cool, you'll see them again," Lily tried talking to herself to try and calm herself down.
"No, Lily, it's better to cry, don't hold it all in."
"James, I don't cry, ever! Just a tear streak here or there, but I, Lily Halley Evans, do not cry," then she started crying, "Great just the thing I wanted to do!"
"I don't see what's so bad about crying, it shows you're human. It's not a sign of weakness or anything."
"It's just he killed them, he killed them to get to me, and it's working. How many more?" Lily cried into his shoulder. "Their lives were too short. I want to know how many more are going to die until he gets to me? It makes you think just how many chances life gives you, and all the chances that you take for granted," Lily looked up into his eyes, "All the fears that you never get over."
"Well then take a chance, two lives just ended; two lives that joined in marriage, and love. How about we make two more joined lives begin?" James asked.
"James, he'll go after you too, won't he?"
"He's already after me and my family, we're full of Aurors, my mother and father. It's up to you now Lily, take the chance or don't, but I promise never to hurt you," James was looking into her eyes.
Lily kissed him, "Is that a yes?" he asked her when they broke apart.
"No, it's a no. Of course it's a yes!" her tear stained face smiling back at him.
"Do you want to stay or go somewhere warmer? How does The Three Broomsticks sound?" James suggested.
"James that's in Hogsmede, how do you propose we get there?" she pointed out.
James smiled and replied, "One of the perks to being a Hogwarts prankster, c'mon follow me." James too her hand and walked out the Astronomy tower door.
When they reached the statue of a humpbacked witch, James tapped it on the hump and whispered, "Dissendum!" Before Lily could say anything, the witch opened wide enough to fit a person not much bigger than James into it.
"C'mon, before they see us."
He pulled her into the passageway hidden behind.
"James, what is this? How-"
"C'mon, I'll tell you on the way."
James lit his wand tip and started to progress forward, Lily was following looking around at the dark tunnel.
"Remus actually found this, gave us the idea of why it was the only statue in the hall here. We just fooled around with it and it opened. Quiet helpful. Filtch doesn't even know about it," James told her, the ground was sloping down.
"Whoa-" Lily just slipped on the floor, the melting snow was dripping through the crevasses. "James, I can't stop! Help! My wand!" Lily was shouting as she slid down the tunnel. He wand flew out of her hand, and continued to slide down with her.
"Hold on, I'm coming!" he yelled preparing to slide down the tunnel just as Lily had done previously.
"James where-oof!" James just collided with Lily. The ground had become more level now so they stopped sliding.
"That was fun, eh?" James's wand was illuminating his face so Lily could see a faint outline of a smile.
"No," she answered bluntly.
James just snickered and said, "C'mon, we're almost there, and it's all uphill. Ladies first."
Lily took the lead, about five minutes later she asked, "When are we going to get there- ow! I just it my head!"
"Good," Lily heard him say, "we're there."
James went over to where she was standing, and pushed on the ceiling a little bit. He looked through a tiny crack to see if anyone was there, when he saw no one, he opened it entirely, and got out.
"C'mon, no one's here," he whispered walking toward the front door, Lily following.
"James what if we're seen?" Lily asked once they were out.
"So, everyone knows me and the rest, we come here so often. They enjoy having us," was his explanation as he took her hand, and walked to The Tree Broomsticks.
"Hello James, this is a surprise, where are the rest of your friends?" Madam Rosmeritia inquired, she ran The Tree Broomsticks.
"Back in the castle, most likely still eating, this is Lily," James introduced, "Could we have two butterbeers?"
"Yes, certainly, Lily he must really like you, you're the first girl he brought here when it wasn't a Hogsmede weekend," she left to go and fetch the butterbeers.
"Really, I feel so special," Lily told him smiling, "Remus found it, I thought you and Sirius found all the passageways, thanks," Madam Rosmertia had just come back with two butterbeers.
"Ah, well now you know who," James took a sing of his butterbeer.
"Yes, but I found one, well it's not really a passage way, more like a room; and I have a feeling you don't know where it is," she said smugly.
"Where is it? Maybe I know."
"In the Gryffindor tower."
"Really, there's one there?"
"Yep, quite nice inside too," Lily took a sip of her butterbeer.
"Show me when we get back," James insisted.
"Depends on if the common room is empty," Lily told him.
"Why?"
"Because it's located in the common room, dur."
"Dur?"
"Hey don't mock how I speak," she was trying to sound offended but instead burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?"
"I have no idea," she barely was able to get the words out from her laughter.
"I can't breathe," she stopped laughing, but only from the lack of oxygen failing to reach her lungs.
"How about we go outside?" James suggested, "the cold air might help." He stood up and placed a galleon on the table.
"Yeah, I've never laughed so much in my entire life," she told him getting a full blast of the cold in her face as they walked out.
"Is that a good thing?" Lily abruptly asked stopping in her tracks.
"Is what a good thing?" James turned around so that he was facing Lily.
"That I'm laughing after I just found out my parents are dead," Lily looked like she was guilty of murder.
"No, Lily, you're not the mourning type. You're not the same as other people. Other's would deny and cry, you're not the average person, that's what I love about you," James pointed out. "Even when you hated me, I still loved you for the personality that you carry. You're one of a kind."
"Thanks, let's get back to Hogwarts, it's getting late, and Rin'll be worried sick."
A big gust of wind blew, it felt like it could lift her up and make her fly. She spread out her arms like they were wings, closed her eyes, and stood there, "Lily, what are you doing?"
"Flying," she answered not opening her eyes. "C'mon just spread out your arms and feel the wind on your face. Take a deep breath, it's like all your emotions have left you forever, floating on a cloud that will never return."
She took one more deep breath before the wind seized, and started walking back to Honeydukes, the candy shop that held the secret passage to Hogwarts.
"Thanks," they had just reached the portrait of the fat lady; "I had fun, considering the circumstances."
"What do you say to flying Wednesday?"
"Er… I'm a little afraid of heights," she said kind of shyly.
"That's not a problem, just meet me in the Quidditch pitch on Wednesday after the Hufflepuff practice," he told her, she nodded to say yes.
"Great," James smiled and kissed her, which took Lily by surprise. They both walked into the common room, which was currently empty.
"Night," They said together, walking up their own dormitory staircases.
"Not again," moaned Catherine getting up from the comfort of her bed and walking over to a thrashing Lily. "Lily, Lily, wake up, please, you'll wake the entire school," she pleaded shaking her, the other girls in the dorm were beginning to stir.
"Not Harry, please. Have mercy. Take me instead!" She was shouting, and holding a bundle of blankets as if it were a small infant. Catherine attempted to wake her again, though before she could nudge Lily again, she was thrown into the sir, and skidded to a halt after she hit the dresser. A piercing scream was heard throughout the tower.
"Hello? Rin? Is anyone there? Why is it all black?" Lily was sitting up panting like a bulldog does on a hot summers day. Lily turned her head looking in all directions, and then she saw a pair of snakelike red eyes staring at her through the darkness. "No…" she whispered, "No… not again… please…" this time louder, but not by much. "Yes Lily, you shall never see the light of day again, or feel the warmth of love. You are trapped here forever. You are my wife now. Darkness' wife," the voice said in a slightly ringing tone though the pitch darkness.
"No… I- I'm n-n-not," she said shacking harder than ever, almost on the verge of having a seizure.
"You belong to me," the voice rang out once more, the eyes the only part showing.
"I d-d-don't belong t-too any-one," she was almost in tears. The eyes were drawing closer, the snakelike look about them that she had seen only twice before in her dreams, yet still recognized them as Voldemorts.
"You can run, but you will die, alone and forgotten."
"No- no- that's not true! Someone help me!" she shouted into the darkness. "No, I won't, I have James," she tried to convince the voice, but sounded more like she was convincing herself. "No," Lily jumped up to her feet and started running as far as she could away from those hateful eyes.
"I'm sorry, but it seems Ms. Evans has gone though a great ordeal, and has slipped into a strange, sleep-like trance," James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were told by Madam Pomphrey. Rin was lying on the bed next to Lily with a bandage, soaked with crimson blood, around her head, apparently knocked out cold.
"Will Rin be okay?" Sirius asked.
"Of course Mr. Black, she just needs her rest. Now shoo, go on get to class. They need their rest."
"But will she be okay?" James asked looking toward Lily, concern in his eyes.
Madam Pomphrey ushered them out of her ward, she could not tell James that Lily would be all right because she had never seen a case like this before. She held the door open for the marauders, not knowing that one of them was returning that same night, nor the night after, and every night whilst Lily was lying in that unusually white bed.
James couldn't keep but worrying for Lily. She had to have had a terribly horrible dream for something like this to happen. James had thought many times that she had had the dream about Voldemort coming and destroying their homes, and killing them off in the process. He couldn't think at all, Lily just kept popping into his mind all day. He couldn't see the hope in making it through his classes safely, the teachers kept asking him questions for their N.E.W.T.'s that were coming up in a few short months. James didn't care about the N.E.W.T.'s, he just wanted Lily back, safe and sound, to hold her and reassure her that everything was going to be okay.
That night James crept down to the infirmary under his invisibility cloak. He went to Lily's side, as he had done for many nights before, and took her hand in his. "Lily you can't leave me. You can't. I only just got you. Whoever said that stuff about how it's better to be loved, than to never love, it's all balonga. I'll stay here and try to fight off the deamonds along side you if I have to," James whispered.
Lily could hear a disembodied voice as she was running. She could hear the strong voice, a man's voice. I sounded sad, and trembling with fear. It was saying: "Lily you can't leave me. You can't. I only just got you. Whoever said that stuff about how it's better to be loved, than to never love, it's all balonga. I'll stay here and try to fight off the deamonds along side you if I have to."
This wasn't just any voice, this was James's. He said more: "This isn't fair you know. Why isn't anything fair anymore? Remember back when we first met, and I blew up that Dungbomb in your compartment? Why can't anything be as carefree as that? A harmless joke. Don't leave me Lily, don't,"- he pleaded-"I don't think I'd survive without you Lily. I have to go, I'll be back."
Apparently James had kissed Lily on her forehead because she felt something warm upon her forhead.
"Get up, Lily, get up." It was a clam soothing voice, speaking to her again. She tried to scream for James to come back, but his footsteps never stopped.
"Come on… I know you want to walk…. Just get on your feet… Nice and easy now." The calm voice never stopped.
"That's a good girl," it sounded like the wind was pushing her along, her feet were just moving, and she couldn't control anything.
