Hopeless (2 of 3)
With a new member to the Order, things are sent into a whirlwind. Especially because it is none other than Draco Malfoy, confessed Death Eater, with a plan for the surviving members. But during his stay at headquarters, there are a few sections he hadn't seen coming. Involving a certain redhead with a temper to match.
DISCLAIMER: All characters, settings, and magical occurrences were all conceived and created in the brilliant mind of J.K. Rowling. Nothing except the glorious plot is property of mine. No profits are being made from my writing.
ANOTHER WARNING: This story will contain some SLASH as the main pairing will be Draco Malfoy and Ron Weasley. If this bothers, offends, or just grosses you out, you can save yourself a lot of pain and heartburn and just click the back button. If you are intrigued (as I am by this rare pairing), stick around. I can only hope not to disappoint. Also, there is some implied HP/BZ as well as mentions of HG/SS. This whole piece is of course D/R-centric though so it isn't much.
.-.>
"You bloody moron!" It wasn't the most eloquent line Draco had used but it certainly fit.
"That's real mature, Draco," Ron turned away and sat down on the edge of Draco's bed.
"Don't even talk to me about maturity. Maturity isn't sneaking around behind your friends' backs because you're ashamed," Draco gave a patented Malfoy sneer with that comment, fixing his icy glare so firmly on Ron it made the redhead look away.
"I'm not ashamed of anything. This is just going to be a shock."
"You fancy it up anyway you want but I can see it. And if you're so bloody ashamed you can take your arse and get the hell out," he pointed swiftly to the door with his hands.
"I'm not ashamed of any of this. How many times do I have to tell you this?" Ron quickly jumped to the defensive. He had wondered to himself many times the extent of Draco's security with himself. More often than not, he turned the tables making it seem like Ron did not think he was good enough to be in a relationship with. That had never been implied since it had all began and he couldn't help but wonder what brought this on.
"Then why haven't you said anything?"
"I'm afraid of what they'll say," Ron admitted softly.
Draco couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was that afraid of what his friends might say to him? If they were truly his friends anyway it would matter a bit. Besides, it wasn't as though any of Ron's nearest and dearest were in very orthodox relationships to begin with.
"Well allow me to ease the pain, I'll be dead in a few weeks and it won't matter anymore," all the confusion from Ron's prior comment came rushing out before Draco could stop it. He hated himself already as Ron's expression dropped. The passion from arguing had already drained and in its place was something Draco couldn't place.
"Don't say that."
"It's true! I've already started feeling it. It's only a matter of time now," Draco kept pushing. As much as he knew he should stop, he'd already begun. He couldn't stop the words from flowing so freely.
"Just stop!" Ron finally found his voice again and raised it to a new level. This did little to derail Draco.
"I know you like to pretend that real world isn't going on around you but you can't lock this away. Time is almost up," Draco knew that he was battering him with each barb he threw his direction. He also just couldn't help but let his aggressions out in a such a way.
"We're going to find him," the determination in Ron's voice made Draco want to snog him right then and there if it weren't for the subject matter.
"Quit saying that. My father is much smarter than anyone gives him credit."
Ron fell instantly quiet as the conversation had progressed to there. When the two of them were together, Ron skirted around every mentioning Lucius Malfoy anymore. They did not need that constant reminder. Now when they fought, which happened quite frequently, it would come up and more often than not that would be the end of it. Even as Draco attacked, they both knew what every word he was saying meant.
"I didn't mean to say that," Draco never actually would straight apologize but the small comments he did make were enough for Ron. It was more than nothing at least.
"You're right though. He is outsmarting us." Draco appeared sullen at this comment and furrowed his brow as if in thought. "But we will find him. Will you at least try and have some faith in that?" Ron questioned, his eyes fixed upon the blonde.
Draco gave a faint nod, so faint you might not have noticed it had not been looking. It was nice to hear but Draco had long since resigned himself to the thought that soon it would be the end. His body was screaming the truth at him almost as loudly as Ron would scream the hope. He just didn't know how much longer they would have.
"And I will work on telling everyone. It's just going to be an adjustment," Ron added as an after thought. He took advantage and pulled Draco down into his lap at the end of the bed. The two stared hard at each other for a long moment, almost as though they were sizing the other up.
Finally Draco broke the moment, pressing his lips firmly against Ron's as though it was a ritual he repeated as often as possible. The two took the other in with such fervor that soon one might have believed it would've been the last. On some levels, maybe they were preparing for that. For even if Ron wanted to have all the hope in the world, they still didn't have Lucius Malfoy and until then, Draco would not be safe.
.-.
"Ron? RON?"
"What? Huh?" Ron suddenly snapped back from whatever reverie he had sunk into.
"I was just asking if you would pass the milk though I think I'll just get it myself," Harry fixed him with a suspicious look but went on with what he had been doing. What could he honestly say to him anyway? He had his suspicions yes, but if they proved to be incorrect, Harry would feel like a rather large arse.
"Sorry, Harry. Just a bit out of it," He explained, fidgeting a bit with his waffles.
"A bit? You aren't even eating. Something is up."
Even if there weren't ten other people at the table, Ron wasn't sure he could actually tell Harry. Which didn't sound too reassuring. He was sure Harry would be the most understanding of them all. After all, he was in a similar predicament himself.
"I'm not really hungry," Ron stood up from the table, pushing his plate back. Most noticed thought little of it. There were all under some stress and it affected them in different ways. They chalked it up to loss of appetite and moved on. Harry didn't push it aside so easily.
Harry decided it was now or never. He had to figure out what was going on and he didn't know when he'd get another chance like this. He excused himself and went after Ron into the parlor. The redhead looked exhausted held up in one of the armchairs. This wasn't the first time Harry had realized it but this morning, he looked worse for the wear.
"Ron, what is going on with you? You're always tired and now you aren't eating. Not to mention you can't be in the same room with Malfoy anymore."
Ron winced at Draco's name. He knew full well that Harry had gotten suspicious. He'd hinted at the possibility before but Ron knew that he didn't want to be offensive. Especially if he didn't know exactly what the facts were. Therefore, in typical Harry fashion, he skirted around it hoping Ron would spill. Only this time he hadn't and now Harry was worried.
"I've just been a bit stressed out, Harry. Nothing to worry about."
"Are you stressed out about him? What's happening to him?"
Ron gave a bewildered look at first before he realized that his secret was no more. He sighed lightly and just nodded. "He's starting to get sick. I don't know what to do."
"Blaise is still looking for Lucius, that's all we can do," Harry assured him but it was all for naught.
"That isn't good enough! He could be anywhere and we're all just sitting here waiting him out. Draco could die over this!" Whatever doubts Harry may have still had were washed away now. Draco's name from Ron's mouth didn't sound as foreign as Harry would've thought.
"We're trying, we really are."
"Well then try harder," Ron bit out and ended the conversation there. He wouldn't let himself think that they were doing everything they could. Had that been the case then Lucius Malfoy would be rotting away now and the last thing on Draco or Ron's mind, for that matter, would be whether or not he'd wake up the next morning.
Ron didn't even look back at Harry as he stood to leave the parlor. He willed Harry to stay behind and to his credit, he realized that Ron needed some space and stayed behind, lingering in the parlor. Ron however was bombarded by someone else.
It only took a second for him to realize whose mouth was attacking his own and he soon began to meet the kiss with his own fervor. He wondered to himself how much of it Draco had heard and would bet as much that he'd heard the whole thing. From his confession to Harry to his blow up as well.
To Ron's credit, he was right. Ron hadn't even noted Draco's entrance as he'd left the kitchen that morning. That in itself threw up a red flag that something was going on. Especially when Potter went right in behind him. He had been feeling more than just a little curious and was very surprised with what he heard.
He knew that Ron laid the optimism bit on him all the time but he hadn't realized that he was as worried as he was. He always seemed so certain. Certain that they'd find Lucius and especially certain that Draco would be fine. But listening to him nearly scream at Potter triggered something in him. Ron was worried about him. Did that mean he couldn't play this off as a bit of a fling? Somewhere along the way the redhead had started developing feelings, was Draco as well?
It all seemed over whelming as he thought about it. A lot to try and deal with having such limited time. That rang clear as day. He was running out of time. Sitting around fretting over what might or might not happen between them seemed pointless. Who knew how much longer it would even matter at this point? In as soon as a few weeks it could've all been over. Why skirt around the issue?
So instead, just as Ron had managed to get out of the parlor, Draco had all but jumped him. Sure, it wasn't the most convenient for the little bit of a secret they were currently keeping but what did he care at this point. Enjoy the end right? For perhaps it was time to really accept that there was going to be an end. And soon.
.-.
"Malfoy, tell me you haven't taken one of my books again!" Hermione glared at him from his comfortable seat in the parlor.
"I haven't taken one of your books again," He didn't even glance up from the pages as she shot him her best imitation at a Malfoy glare.
"I know you have it and I just want it back."
"Really Granger, you have so many others. Surely you can wait just a few precious days for me to return it. I honestly don't see the importance," That much was true. He'd seen the extensive collection she had. There seemed no logical reason why this one was so important. He still didn't know how she was finding out he'd been taken them to begin with.
"I wouldn't be angry if you would just ask. Instead, you just go browsing my room anytime you feel like it!" She all but screamed exasperated.
"Only when you leave the door open."
"I always leave the door open!" She exclaimed, eyes piercing him with her stern glare.
"See, so there you have it. It's practically like inviting me in. Shut the door and I won't even be tempted." He reasoned with her, fighting over the smirk that threatened. That would just make her more angry. And as much as he enjoyed it, he was beginning to tire over this particular fight.
"It's my room! I shouldn't have to shut the door so you don't take my things!"
"Really, Granger. There is no need for shouting. I'll return the book when I'm finished."
With a very loud grumble Hermione left the parlor, shooting a searing look at Draco as she did. She barely apologized as she bumped into someone on her way out, cursing the very existence of any Malfoy.
"Always the spoiled brat, aren't you?" Ron commented, leaning against the doorframe, studying the blonde upon the couch. He tried to keep the worry from showing in his eyes but he wasn't positive he was doing a very good job of it.
"You're surprised by this?" Draco raised a brow insinuating that Ron should've realized this certainly by this point.
"I just thought that maybe you had some limitations."
"Ahh well there in lies the problem, you thought," Draco's eyes glanced up from the book at Ron, his mouth barely curving up into a smile.
"Very funny. But I have to run over to the Burrow to pick up a few things for Mum. You can come if you want, or not."
"Wow, I simply cannot believe this. With an invitation like that, however could I refuse."
"Just be ready in a few minutes," Ron told him before leaving him once more alone in the parlor. Times by himself were getting fewer and much more far between.
"Oh but whatever should I wear?" Draco called after him, humor lighting up his face. He shut the book that he'd taken from Hermione earlier that day and carried it with him. He wasn't sure he'd see it again if he left it sit. She seemed very committed to getting that book back as soon as she could.
He looked down at himself and realized he would indeed have to choose something else to wear. The past few mornings had been a bit rough and he found himself preferring to stay in something more comfortable. And by more comfortable that meant his pajamas. The rest of his clothes certainly weren't suitable for lounging about. To hell with anyone who had a problem with it too.
Though he could tell by some of the sad looks he'd been getting lately that there were even more in the know. With the exception usually of Granger whom he always battled with, everyone else seemed to go out of his or her way to be friendly. Which was why he supposed Ron could get away with no suspicion in inviting him out of the confines of Grimmauld Place for the day. Ron would look like a giant hero. This was getting bloody ridiculous.
It did little to help that with each new morning, Draco felt his body feeling less and less up to even getting out of bed let alone doing anything productive. He was beginning to feel it all too well. That time was not on his side and it would be only a short time before all of the petty things he worked himself up over didn't matter.
He brought himself down onto the end of his bed with a sigh. Despite anything he'd said before, he really had just assumed that Potter would track down his father and the world would be sunshine and rainbows again. But as things slowly began to decline, it seemed his assumptions had been incorrect. He really may not survive this. He'd never really considered that as a possibility and it suddenly seemed so…so scary? Perhaps not scary per say but certainly far from anything that could be construed as good.
As his thoughts were thoroughly consumed, he noted not Ron's entrance. This gave the redhead a moment to try and figure out what had happened between the time in the parlor only minutes before and now. His mind had already feared the worst.
"Are you feeling alright? You don't have to go. In fact, I don't have to go. I can stay here with you," Ron blurted out all at once, moving over towards the bed, ignoring the door standing wide open.
Draco barely glanced up, let alone responded. He was experiencing something he had never before. Shock. Never before had his body reacted in such a way. Not when he'd stood before Voldemort and taken the Mark or even when Snape had told him months before about the curse. And now, it was as though he couldn't get a hold of his emotions or even his thoughts.
"Draco? Talk to me, please," Ron's voice pleaded with the almost comatose blonde sitting beside of him.
Draco opened his mouth to speak, his voice catching in his throat. He took another deep breath and his sad gray eyes finally met Ron's. "I'm going to die aren't I?"
Ron's face fell more so than it was before. His heart leaping into his throat making it as hard to speak as Draco found it. "No, they're finally out really looking for him. Harry. Blaise. Hell, even Neville joined in. Lucius can't avoid everyone forever."
"Except I don't have forever to wait for them to find him," Draco turned away, standing up. "I talked to Severus a few days ago. He told me that there's probably another good month. Give or take a day."
He'd purposely never mentioned that to Ron. It would've just caused him to go into an even bigger frenzy than he had been lately. The redhead's eyes grew, the wave of the statement settling over him and he finally narrowed his eyes more firmly upon Draco.
"Why didn't you tell me that?" For that split moment, he sounded almost hurt. That rather than tell Ron hat was going on in his life which certainly he felt affect his own, he'd kept it locked away, discussing it solely with that greasy haired git.
"I didn't think you really needed to worry about that."
"You what? Just because you don't tell me all of the details as it happens doesn't mean I don't worry. It's too late for that," Ron's voice was so sure and confident as he stood, stopping not even a foot from where Draco stood.
"But it's not your responsibility," He turned away, his eyes not daring to see what reaction he'd further get.
"But I made it my responsibility."
"Just stop," This was the last thing he needed. He didn't need to be standing there arguing. And he damn sure didn't want to feel any worse about this thing he had going on with Ron. He wasn't certain what his own feelings meant.
"I love you, Draco."
Frozen like a deer in the headlights, Draco spun around, eyes wide with surprise. Over the years they had exchanged many remarks. For most of them, they were as harsh as they could get. More recently, sometimes that was the case but things were slowly changing. But certainly never anything like that. No true declaration of anything except that they enjoyed shagging every now and again.
"Get out."
"What?" Ron questioned, his mind puzzled by Draco's quick and painful reaction. He hadn't exactly meant for it to slip out but once it had he'd almost been glad. Until Draco's face returned to an expression he knew all too well. Cold indifference.
"Just get out. Go!"
Ron watched him a moment, disbelief shining bright in his features before finally storming out of the room, slamming the door shut behind of him. He pressed his back up against the cool wooden door, head pressing back firmly. What had he just done? He knew he wasn't the only one asking that question when he heard a vase inside of the room shatter against the wall and cursing following it.
.-.
Draco barely picked at the dinner on his plate. Not that it hadn't been anything worth eating, he'd just lately not been as hungry as before. Not so much since his fight with Ron the week before and when things started to go all-downhill.
Severus had told him the day before that they feared Lucius had left the country. More so that they weren't certain to which country he fled but he could easily be anywhere in Europe or even the States. He'd told him he hated to bring him anymore down but there was no avoiding the fact that Lucius hadn't been seen in months. It was growing less likely by the day. Of course he didn't actually say so in so many words but the look on his face was enough for Draco to realize.
"Has anyone seen Ron today? I haven't seen him since the meeting this morning," Hermione commented, fork poised for a bite.
"He's probably sleeping. He went out last night with Seamus. Trying to scrounge up anything we can on Lucius," Harry commented, pointedly avoiding as much as looking at Draco. It seemed Ron had at least shared with him.
"I didn't think Ron was involved in any of that," Remus offered.
"Well he'd been involved in other areas of it until recently. He'd asked to help out if he could. And we certainly could use the manpower," This time, Harry did send a glare in Draco's direction. One Draco returned right back. How wonderful of Potter to presume he knew anything about what was going on.
Draco pushed himself back from the table, his napkin landing on his half-eaten plate. "Excuse me."
"No, I think you should stick around. You hardly touch your food."
"I'm full. I wasn't too hungry," Draco assured the table, meaning to glare at Potter but his attentions instead being caught by Mrs. Weasley.
"You're looking awfully thin, dear. Perhaps Harry's right," Mrs. Weasley added in a concerned tone.
"No really, Mrs. Weasley. I'm fine. The meal was lovely," He offered for the compliment shooting Harry a hateful glare in the process. It was as though he'd been reading his mind. Which may not have been too far off. Harry was skilled in Occulemancy. Draco couldn't quite convince himself though that he would actually resort to it.
Mrs. Weasley conceded on the issue and changed the subject as rapidly as had been done before. He sneaked out of the dining area and up the stairs and down the hall to where he'd known Ron to be staying. He knocked once softly, knowing full well that if he were indeed in there sleeping that it would take more than a knock. Finally, deciding against his judgement, he opened the door and slunk in, shutting it quietly behind him.
The room was a bloody mess but empty. The only sign that anyone may be present was the bathroom door which was pushed shut, bits of light pushing out underneath of the wooden barrier. He'd gotten this far. He might as well wait. Shoving a few things from the small sofa in the room, he sat down, prepared to wait.
His wait wasn't as long as he thought. Within a few moments, the door shot open and the wet redhead entered, small towel wrapped loosely around his waist. Draco cleared his throat in that manner one would when they wanted to be noticed. Ron all but dropped the towel at the sound, spinning around slightly in his direction to decipher who'd invaded his rooms.
"What are you doing here?" His voice sounded stern. A tone that made Draco think twice about his even being there.
"I needed to talk to you."
"Just a second. Let me get dressed."
"Really? I rather fancied talking to you in just the towel," Draco thought a little innuendo would lighten the mood but that didn't seem so.
"I assumed it'd be the last thing you'd fancy."
"Well you assumed incorrectly."
"I didn't have much to go on other than a rather loud demand to get out. Sorry if I was mistaken," Ron's voice sounded so bitter that Draco knew he'd have to do it. He'd have to apologize for his behavior. Something he avoided if he could. He couldn't blame the guy though. He'd professed his love and Draco had sent him away just as fast.
"Listen, I was just a little confused. I didn't know what to do when you said that…to me. It just took me by surprise."
"And you don't think that feeling that way took me by surprise? I mean you and I aren't exactly a match made in heaven."
"I was stressed out. First with the curse then you. It just set my emotions over the top. What I'm really trying to say is that…that well I'm sorry," As the words came out of his mouth, he felt relieved. The world hadn't collapsed around him. Ron seemed a bit surprised by his admission but generally pleased.
At no sudden response, Draco let his eyes fall away. It wasn't enough to have to apologize but then to have to be gawked at as though he had three heads. No thank you. No more than another second past before Draco was caught up in Ron's bare arms, the redhead crouched down in front of him. Draco sank into the embrace, letting himself go even if it was just for that moment. For he couldn't be quite so sure they'd have much more than those few moments.
"What are you playing at, Malfoy?" Granger interrogated, flopping herself down onto the sofa beside him. She rolled he eyes at the blatant display of her own literature. There were more important things to be discussed that afternoon.
"I haven't the slightest clue what you are talking about," It wasn't enough that he'd been bed ridden the earlier part of the week and the final day he'd finally gotten up and in to read. She showed no mercy whatsoever.
"With Ron. I know what going on. Anyone with an IQ can see what's going on between you two. We've all just been polite enough not to say anything but I won't bite my tongue any longer. Is this some sort of game to you? Are you just toying with him emotions?"
"Granger, let me make things easier for you. I'm probably not going to be here in a month. Do you think I would want to spend that time exact some cruel sort of revenge for the bloody hell of it?" He reasoned without glancing up from the page he was studying.
"That's a terrible thing to say," She said quietly, willing herself not to look in his direction. It certainly would've made her feel for worse for all but attacking him about it. Especially the first time he'd decided to get out from his rooms which he'd been held up in.
"Well it's a terrible thing that is happening. Excuse me for not being perkier this afternoon. I shall try and work on that," He slammed the book together and gathered himself up, more slowly than was normal for him and he made his dramatic exit to his own room.
The poison in his blood had managed to work him over quite well. From what he'd gathered from reading, the curse would deteriorate all of your muscle and eventually tissue. Finally working over you vital organs until there was nothing more than a shell left behind. It was perhaps the cruelest way imaginable to pass away and Draco was learning that first hand.
What he couldn't understand was how his father had found the curse in the first place. It had only been administered a few times successfully and it was only passed down amongst generations verbally. He found nothing about it in anything he read except for a possible counter. And even that appeared to be only a possibility. But of course, even that wasn't possible. For they were missing the most vital ingredient of all and Lucius had done a much better job at hiding himself than they had at locating him.
But worse than the fear of this poison, he was dealing with something else more recently. It seemed that despite their best efforts, word was circulating. Suspicions mounting and lots of doubt backing all of it up. No matter what he wanted, he kept his mouth shut and when questioned, never gave a straightforward enough answer for anyone to decipher any true meaning. It was a pretty discouraging way to spend the last bit of time he was certain he had.
He crawled up into his bed much too slowly for his liking. He kept himself positioned on his side, discarding the book from his possession. It took too much effort to keep his head held up in such a manner and it really didn't seem worth it. The sofa had been a nice alternative since he had a soft back to help him out. His eyes fell out of focus as his mind sauntered off elsewhere. He noticed not Ron's entrance or his less than abrupt attempt at sneaking up into the bed.
Ron's arm came across Draco's stomach, a kiss planted against his bare neck. Draco's mind jolted itself, eyes rolling around enough to identify Ron. He placed a hand atop of the redheads almost tenderly so.
"How are you feeling?" Ron asked quietly, arms tightening protectively at the question.
"I was fine until Granger wanted to give me the third degree," He turned over slightly onto his back so he could actually get a good look at the other man. "She's much smarter than I gave her credit for."
"It probably wasn't as hard to figure out as you think."
"Well your mother bit act did little to shake her off the trail," Draco admonished, a sharp glare in his direction. Not that he found that he minded. He'd been waited on hand and foot when he was a young boy. And though Ron certainly wasn't going about cleaning every little mess he made up, he went out of his way more than Draco was sure he ever could've.
Since their incident, Ron hadn't dared to repeat his devotion to Draco. The pair seemed to deal with enough stress and the last thing Draco wanted was to hash it all out. Which all but tore Ron up on the inside but he wouldn't push.
"It doesn't really matter anymore."
"But then your entire charade goes up in smoke," Draco reasoned, brow furrowed in question.
"And? With time being as it is, I'd much rather be able to spend it with you without worrying about someone catching on. I never should've asked you to do this in the first place."
"You're damn right," Draco scoffed at him in an indifferent tone.
"Oh you forgive me already," Ron spoke sweetly, placing a kiss against Draco's lips.
"It'll take more than something as weak as that kiss was," Draco coaxed him on, lifting his mouth back against Ron's. If he was going to use up his energy, he was going to use it up right.
Ron leaned in over Draco's body, keeping his weight off of the smaller blonde as much as he could. Their kiss was pulled deeper, their tongues entwining harmoniously, bodies pressing almost urgently against one another.
But as quickly as their moment had begun, it was swiftly ripped away as Draco's door flew open. Snape stood in the doorway, looking a bit flustered or perhaps he was just nervous. Ron pulled back, sitting up, helping Draco to do the same. It wasn't very surprising that he seemed less than surprised by the two of them. Granger strikes again.
"Draco, Potter found your father," Those were the best words he'd heard in such a long time. Words that carried hope in their very sound. They'd finally found him. But now the hard part would begin. Lucius Malfoy had done a great job hiding and unfortunately chances were that he would not be there alone.
.-.
A/N: My goodness I'm sorry that took so long. I'm terrible I know. And it's much shorter and ends very abruptly. Gosh! But I think I rather like this piece. The bits of trials and tribulations between the two. This was more relationship building than anything. There is one piece left to be added so this is not quite complete just yet. We still must find out whether they can get a hold of Lucius in time. I hope to have that out much sooner. What do you think? Like/Love/Hate it? Let me know, reviews always make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.
