Chapter 8
As agitated as Freiya had been about magically having been thrown out of Loki's room just now, she knew that pushing the dark-haired man right at this moment was unlikely wise.
From the rumors, she had heard around the palace, and what thoughts and memories of others she had already seen, she could piece together that the prince was basically popular and feared for his tendency to retaliate with magical tricks and pranks in varying degrees of malice. She was not sure if the offenses Loki had retaliated to were indeed just small and imaginary as the rumors told as well, but either way, Freiya did not plan to antagonize Loki on purpose.
However, the calm which had befallen her again at touching Loki, was definitely again lost now and one glance at the next window showed the sky once again dark with angry clouds, heavy rain pounding on the ground, and lightning flashing over the dark horizon.
Freiya returned to her assigned rooms after Loki had thrown her out with anger coursing through her veins. She was trying to get to know the prince, but the man seemed intent to keep her away. She was not certain how long she could remain patient with him before she finally accepted his tendency for distance. It turned out that their rooms were actually situated very close to each other and she was fairly certain she would be able to navigate her way back to his quarters without any trouble.
She picked up a book about the history of Asgard, hoping to calm down again with some reading. The book had been given to her by one of her tutors and she was supposed to read through it in her leisure time. The tutor had asked her to work through it within the next month. It was a very thick book though and Freiya began to doubt she would be done before her deadline ran out. So far, everything she had read, spoke of one war after the other. War was nothing that would be able to ever rouse her interest and after a few pages of reading about another war between Asgard and Jotunheim, Freiya closed the book again with a sigh. She wondered if there ever was anything else ongoing besides wars.
Under normal circumstances, she would have learned all of this dry and boring knowledge during her childhood and youth. It was doubtful to Freiya if she would have enjoyed learning about it any more than she was disliking it now.
She had seen her fair share of wars already and had come to the conclusion that almost all of them were pointless and just ended in unnecessary losses on all sides involved. She was not naïve though, there would never be a reality without war. It seemed all living creatures were not content with peace forever and would sooner or later find reasons to fight each other again.
Asgard did seem peaceful to her now though and Freiya wondered how long it may have been the case. The book spoke of various wars lasting over several thousands of years and even the earth she had grown up on was mentioned several times throughout Asgard's history.
A knock on her door made Freiya discard the book on the table altogether. The boring read had at least calmed her down enough that the worse of the storm outside had passed. For a moment she hoped to find Loki on the other side of the door, hopefully with the intent to grovel an excuse to her, but it was actually Thor, smiling at her kindly.
The God of Thunder had damp hair, indicating he either got into her rain as well or he had already washed up after training. She noticed that Thor made an effort to spend time with her, probably hoping to connect with his sister quicker this way.
She smiled at him, discarding her lingering anger at Loki for the moment. "Do you want to come in?" she offered and waved him inside. Some of her residual anger must still have shown on her face and Thor asked what had happened to upset her.
"Loki kindly threw me out of his rooms magically," Freiya remarked sarcastically "Ever happened to you?"
Thor seemed a little perplexed for a moment before he grimaced, probably reliving a particular memory of the past. He nodded after a moment "Ever since Loki has mastered this skill, yes. Usually, when he snaps".
"Snaps?" Freiya repeated with a raised brow. She was definitely not pleased to have been thrown out in this fashion.
"He can be temperamental sometimes," Thor remarked with a slight shrug, obviously used to Loki's quirks and accepting them. "You seem to have a knack for that as well" her brother added with a short nod toward the window where the clouds were still dark. He glanced at the book on her table next "You are reading the history of Asgard" he assessed.
"From your tone, I gather you regarded it as thrilling as I do now" Freiya commented sarcastically while she stepped closer to her older brother.
Thor's laugh was infectious in its sincerity and Freiya joined him a moment later. The clouds finally cleared outside.
"Where do your thoughts go when your expression turns to this?" Thor's question caught her off guard completely and Freiya sobered in the blink of a second. She had not even noticed anything about her own behavior change. Her puzzlement must have shown on her features though "You randomly get all contemplative" her brother explained.
Freiya gave him a rueful smile "Honestly, I cannot stop but wonder how it would have been like to grow up as your sister…" she let her words trail off as she peered out of the window and away from Thor.
"Nothing can change the past" Thor exclaimed after a short while of silence. It was obvious the notion must have prompted him to think about this scenario as well now.
"I am aware" she commented drily with a humorless laugh "You know that I grew up on Earth, Midgard as call it, do you know about a conversion between the age scales?" deciding to switch the subject again and hope to banish the sadness which showed clearly in her brother's blue eyes.
Thor looked confused at the question "Conversion?" he echoed.
"How much do you know about how life is on earth?" Freiya prodded with a light frown.
"Now that I have lived on earth for a while a lot more than before" Thor answered with an almost brooding expression "Loki and I visited earth once in our youth, there are still myths about it in books. Jane showed them to me".
Freiya contemplated that answer for a little while, wondering if they may have had an encounter without realizing it, but it was doubtful at best. "What is considered "adult" here then?" she questioned, getting back to her original question.
"I think I know what you mean" Thor answered after another moment of contemplation "My shield brothers on Midgard told me about age restrictions for drinking alcohol or driving or other significant things".
Freiya nodded "Yes, this is what I was asking after. For example, the drinking age is defined differently for countries on Earth".
Thor's brows furrowed "The man of iron mentioned something like that. It does not make sense to me".
"So, there is no legal age here?" Freiya prodded. As she had grown up with exactly that concept and used to define her identities according to those legal limits.
"I was considered barely a man on the day of my botched coronation" Thor mused with a thoughtful expression.
"Loki is younger than you, right?" Freiya checked, although she basically already knew the answer.
Thor nodded "I only very faintly remember the time before Loki or when mother was pregnant with you".
"So, I am not fully recognized as an adult yet here?" Freiya prodded and her expression turned into a scowl. The mere idea was ridiculous to her. She simply had been responsible for herself for so many centuries now.
Thor's nod was a little unsure now, sensing that the information was upsetting his sister once again "You are not required to take over any royal function yet as in the eyes of Asgard you are …" he paused for a moment obviously thinking hard "… I think the Captain called it a "teen"" he quoted one of his friends on earth.
Freiya's mouth dropped open in disbelief. She, and she also mentally included Loki, was basically considered a child still here?
"At least your age here would not match yet what America regards as drinking age, as I think, is 21" Thor continued in a soothing tone, obviously trying to appease her.
Blinking at him, Freiya came to the conclusion that in other countries besides America, they would very well be allowed to consume alcohol and also be held legally responsible for their actions. It did somehow explain though why Loki had been punished with house arrest as a consequence of his attempt to conquer Midgard.
"What are you thinking about?" Thor asked her after silence had settled between them a while ago. It had not been uncomfortable, but Freiya had been lost in her own thoughts.
She lightly shook her head and was surprised even more by his next question, voiced in an almost hesitant voice "Are you ever going to tell me how your life has been all this time? What we have all missed?"
He sounded as regretful about it as Freiya felt, which helped her in a way she had not anticipated. "Possibly" she answered vaguely. The memory of how she had dropped her instinctual magic hiding her scars in front of Loki flashed through her mind. She considered repeating the gesture for Thor now, something was holding her back though. Showing herself like this to Loki had felt natural and needed in the actual moment, she did not have the same feelings now. "Is there anything specific you would like to know?" she offered in a kind tone and looked back into his blue eyes.
"Was there ever a family for you?" Thor asked just a second later and Freiya could practically see thousands of questions flashing through his eyes. She was oddly glad for Loki's protection of her mind, otherwise, they all would have flooded her head now.
Freiya nodded "More than once" she answered truthfully, but also in a sad tone. She had grown to love a number of people. She had physically developed and grown at a slower pace than the children around her and she had been a child even by the prominent definition on earth for far longer than a normal human living.
"What happened?" Thor prodded, sensing the grief in his sister clearly.
She sighed and her features hardened automatically. She had grown used to seeing the people around her grow old and die eventually. At times she had tried to prolong their life span magically, but it never truly worked. "Should that not be obvious?" Freiya retorted with a raised brow "Time happened and they died" she added darkly.
Understanding flashed over Thor's features for a moment and he inclined his head in mute acknowledgment. He hesitated for a moment before he stepped closer to Freiya and pulled his sister into a tight hug "You will not have to go through that ever again" he promised gravely as he held on to her smaller body.
Freiya allowed the embrace stiffly at first. Since her return to Asgard, no one from the royal family had tried to hug her. She had seen the struggle to reach out and touch her within the queen's features at times, but the queen respected her boundaries and retained a physical distance. The most she had done, was grasp onto one of her hands. She relaxed within her brother's strong arms after a few deep breaths and somehow tears burned ferociously in her eyes another moment later.
Thor seemed to sense her growing emotions and once he stroked over her hair and back, Freiya indeed began to cry and her whole body was wrecked by the sudden sobs. She could not even pinpoint exactly why she was crying at this moment. The sudden comfort of those arms around her had broken so many pent-up emotions lose, that it did not matter either way.
She cried for the childhood which had been robbed of her. She cried for the way she had grown up on earth. She cried for everything she had been put through at the hands of different humans over all these years on earth. She cried for all of those she had ever loved and lost again. She cried for the family she was just beginning to connect to and she cried for how overwhelming everything was now that her world had been turned upside down.
Freiya did not know how long she stood in Thor's embrace, crying until her tears dried out. It took a few more moments for all the shaking to leave her body and she knew her eyes would be red and puffy as she eased a little away from him, peering up his broad chest and into his blue eyes.
The gaze which looked down on her was kind and tender, loving almost and Freiya gave him a wobbly smile as she wiped at her cheeks to remove the clear signs of the tears she had just shed. Thor's blue eyes appeared a little glassy as well.
"It should be time for dinner by now" Thor proclaimed in a voice coarser than before "Would you join mother and me?"
Freiya nodded her agreement, smiling brighter at her brother. She did not know yet how, but she was confident that she could and would definitely grow closer to her older brother. "Thank you" she acknowledged in a soft tone as she fully stepped out of his arms.
Thor just cleared his throat and inclined his head.
She chuckled lightly. Could it be that her brother was not the best to deal with emotions like this?
Something else returned to her mind that she had wanted to inquire about for a few days already "You and Loki were much closer in the past, right?" she checked and when Thor nodded, she added, "What happened?".
Freiya could watch Thor exhale deeply and frustration crept onto his features "We have grown apart" he admitted, "I cannot pinpoint when it even started. There is so much bad blood between us now…". The regret about that was so clear in his tone that Freiya felt for him.
"Don't you think it can change again?" she questioned in a kind tone. If Loki and she were considered to be very young adults at best and if she compared it to her experiences on earth, family quarrels could very well be resolved later in life.
Thor nodded "I am convinced of it" his voice was strong with conviction "I love Loki. He was misguided by the anger about his father's lies. He has not trusted anyone since the discovery of his true origin".
Freiya frowned slightly. Of course, she could sympathize and understand this notion to some point, but she somehow doubted it was all that was to tell to the story yet. "Don't you think there is more?" she suggested softly. She was almost certain that this was not a suggestion at all, but nobody else seemed to have picked up on the fact that not everything was adding up.
"What is it you are implying?" Thor retorted with a frown and his brows drew together in deep concentration.
Freiya contemplated her words for a silent moment of hesitation. She did not know for sure and it was clear Thor was desperately wanting to believe that Loki was not truly dark and beyond redemption, the hope in his blue eyes was almost tangible. She would have preferred knowing all facts from Loki first, but she also did not wish to lie to her older brother either.
"I noticed that in your memory of fighting Loki on earth and when you brought him back here, his eye color was not his current green" she pointed out cautiously. She toyed with the idea of pointing out how pale and sickly Loki had appeared, but decided against it for now. If her assumptions were true, the dark-haired prince may not wish for everyone to know about this.
Thor opened his mouth to say something but shut it again before actually doing so. His expression showed how hard he was thinking for a few moments before he nodded, all serious now "I did notice that" he said with a slight nod "I am unsure of the possible reason though and Loki shrugged it off as insignificant".
It took until the next morning for Loki to show his face again.
After breakfast which Freiya had spent together with the queen and Thor, the dark-haired prince had been waiting for her in the hall in front of her room, leaning against the wall in a casually graceful way that should not be allowed for anyone to possess.
The memory of suddenly standing in front of Loki's locked door, shimmering with green magic, flashed through her mind and she felt her own magic jump angrily.
"Easy" Loki assessed, pushing away from the wall and holding up his hands in a gesture of surrender.
"What do you want?" Freiya asked sharper than necessary.
"Helping you to learn to control this and I thought to offer to ward your room" Loki explained his presence.
Freiya raised a brow at him, surprised at what might have been a kind gesture "Ward my room?" she echoed in confusion "What would it need warding against?"
"The incantation I am using to guard your mind can be applied to a restricted area as well" Loki explained. His expression did not show anything of what he may be thinking.
"Is that supposed to be an apology?" Freiya pushed darkly although she could recognize the advantage of what the trickster was offering to her.
Loki's mouth pulled into a slight frown "I was not aware I was in need of an apology".
Freiya scowled at him and her magic started to crackle around her, dangerously close to losing her grip on it once again. "I will not be thrown out again like this," she told him through clenched teeth.
She could not be sure without reading his mind, but it appeared as if Loki was startled somewhat by that. "Do you want me to ward the room or not?" the prince asked in an impatient voice.
Freiya frowned and contemplated Loki for a few silent moments before she finally nodded and opened the door, waving the prince inside behind her.
She watched him stride through the room with complicated hand movements while his hands were encased in green shining magic.
She crossed her arms over her chest while she waited. She was supposed to go to another lesson on proper etiquette in a little while.
"It looks like you might benefit from some etiquette lessons as well" Freiya commented once Loki had obviously finished his incantation.
Loki raised a brow at her "You are not going to make this easy for me, are you?" he asked in a silky tone.
Freiya casually leaned against the large table in the middle of the room which she had been using to do some of her assigned studies, hoping to imitate Loki's previous position in the hall "Didn't I tell you that I can be stubborn. Wouldn't want to build our friendship on a lie".
The look the prince was giving her would definitely remain in her memories for a while. His mouth opened a little and his eyes widened as he blinked at her, obviously speechless and probably flabbergasted. She decided to indeed not to make it easy for him "Cat got your tongue, Silvertongue?". She used the nickname she had seen in one of Thor's memories on purpose. She did keep a friendly expression on her features though.
"Sarcasm is not becoming of a princess of Asgard" Loki finally found his voice again and his green eyes glinted with annoyance. It was obvious he was not used to anyone holding their ground against him in such a fashion.
Freiya raised a brow at him and feigned surprise for a second before she tilted her head slightly and squinted at him "And it is anymore becoming of one of Asgard's princes?"
"Touché" Loki retorted with a slight sigh and Freiya could almost watch part of the mask the prince had been upholding melt away as his posture relaxed just the slightest bit. He seemed to be contemplating his next words very carefully and Freiya thought there was an unexpected vulnerability within his gaze all of a sudden as he spoke again "You have not seen much of Asgard yet I assume. I am sick of being on the palace grounds only" he cast a glance out of the window for a moment and the longing on his features was palpable "I can show you a place dear to me".
Freiya was a little perplexed at the unexpected offer. She did say that she was supposed to go to a lesson rather soon which Loki merely waved away. "Should I want to know what you just did?" she asked when his hands glowed green for a brief moment.
Mischief sparkled in his green eyes as he mutely raised a brow at her.
Freiya decided to shrug the question of which appeared to have been the right decision.
"You are indeed set on trusting me" Loki assessed the dropped question with an approving nod. He extended an open palm towards her "Shall we?"
Freiya nodded with an open smile. She did hope that Loki had not done any serious harm to her tutor, but she guessed she would find out later and she somehow was convinced that it could not have been anything evil.
They left the palace together without anyone interfering. Freiya wondered if Frigga had already spoken to Odin. She did not wish to cause any more trouble to the prince after all.
"Loki?" she questioned him in a cautious tone. She had not missed the prince tensing slightly as soon as they had left her rooms and encountered the first guard in the hall. His posture had not relaxed again and his features actually had frozen into an absolutely blank mask once they had run into a group of nobles in the gardens.
The only indication that the prince had heard her attempt to garner his attention was a slight turn of his head while there was no verbal acknowledgment at all.
"You are allowed to leave the palace, right?" Freiya prodded. The way the prince clenched his jaw forcefully was not exactly reassuring, but Freiya gathered it could be a reaction to having been put on house arrest at all. What she had learned of him so far had painted him as a rather independent figure and she doubted confinement had been to his taste.
Freiya did not get an answer to her question, but she decided to let it rest when they began to encounter more and more people on the streets surrounding the palace. She had not even bothered to ask Loki where exactly he wanted to go, but it was clear he had a destination in mind.
The reactions towards the two of them were different, to say the least. People seemed happy to see her and greeted her with wonder clear on their features. Freiya found it hard to settle on a fitting reaction and she tried to nod to them all kindly, but she had to keep a friendly expression on her features forcefully. Loki on the other hand was greeted with perfect politeness at best, and open hostility at worst. But most of the people seemed to try and just ignore his presence altogether.
Freiya was internally grateful for his proximity and he seemed to walk a little slower and closer to her when she started to feel overwhelmed. It helped her feel calmer on the one hand and on the other it also kept the people they were passing by from coming closer and trying to speak to her. She would not know what to say to them anyway.
She breathed much easier once they left the streets which had started to taper off into winding narrow alleys the further, they got away from the palace. When she had run away from the palace, she had not paid any attention to her directions and she was not sure if she had crossed these streets before or if Loki had guided her away on different paths. Not that it truly mattered.
Loki led her into a forest and Freiya took her time to let her gaze wander. She knew the prince would keep her protected if necessary. Nature looked wonderful and Freiya was enthralled by weirdly glowing butterflies lazily gliding around them.
She held out her hand and one of them landed on her open palm. She studied its beautiful wings for long silent moments. When she looked up, she saw Loki watching her, obviously waiting patiently. The butterfly took off a little while later and Freiya watched it disappear between a few trees to their left.
"How far is the place you were intending to show to me?" Freiya broke through the peaceful silence which had settled between them. She did not know yet if Loki simply enjoyed silence or if the prince had nothing to say to her. She of course hoped that it was not oppressing to the prince.
"Not too far" Loki answered a little vaguely and motioned ahead of them with one hand. She was unable to decipher his expression though and the prince still appeared rather tense.
"So, you are not trying to lead me into the forest to kill me and bury my corpse?" Freiya tried to joke in the hopes of easing his tension. She had tried her expression kind, hoping to convey that she had not been serious with her question.
Loki turned to fully turn her, stopping in his steps and he scrutinized her with a deep frown. The vulnerability returned to his gaze and Freiya thought he might still change his mind about whatever surprise he had planned "This is a very special place to me" he intoned.
Freiya inclined her head in acknowledgment and she did not hesitate when Loki offered a hand to her. She let herself be guided further and only a few steps later she felt the tingle of passing through magical wards.
The forest around them changed in the blink of an eye and Freiya looked around with an expression filled with wonder. The forest had been nice before, but now it was outright gorgeous. The very place could come right from a fairy tale book she had read a long time ago.
She looked around with her mouth slightly open before her eyes landed back on Loki who appeared kind of nervous almost, a look she had never seen on him thus far, nervous and vulnerable in an endearing kind of way.
"Did you create this?" she asked in honest astonishment. The clearing they were in now looked peaceful. She could hear a few birds sing their soft melody and she could also hear the soft rush of water as if a waterfall may be close by.
He nodded and leaned against a tree trying to appear casual. This time his posture did not fully morph into the graceful casualness he had adopted earlier in the palace and Freiya could still see his nervousness.
"You know when I asked you to tell me something about yourself, I meant something like your favorite color or what you like to do in your leisure time," she said in a kind tone.
Loki's features started to close off immediately as his green eyes flashed with emotions too quickly to narrow down.
Freiya stepped closer to him and placed a hand gently on the arms he had now crossed over his chest "It is a truly wonderful place" she tried to appease him in an honest tone. When he did not push her away or said anything, she questioned in curiosity "Did you come here with your friends before?"
Loki's expression was hard to interpret as he shook his head "You are the first person I am taking here". Freiya thought to see regret flash through his eyes before it was masked.
Freiya was speechless for a moment, while she felt her heart constrict painfully for him "I am honored" she said in a heavy tone and hoping it did not come out sarcastic. She wondered how long ago the prince may have created this little hideout.
Loki seemed lost in his own thoughts for long moments, but his gaze remained on Freiya.
"Thank you," she said honestly and gave his arm a soft squeeze to get his attention back.
"For what?" Loki asked once again slightly confused. The tenseness which had been present within him had dissipated by now.
"For trusting me enough to show me this," she said with a smile on her lips. "It feels very special" she looked around once again "and private" she added as an afterthought.
Loki's lips pulled into the resemblance of a smile. It was clear he was pleased with her words.
"What does everyone else see when they come here by chance?" she asked. She thought she could hear voices relatively close by and she guessed that guard may be looking for her. She had not asked Loki if she should have notified anyone about leaving the palace.
"Nothing out of the ordinary" Loki answered with a shrug. He shortly explained the nature of the wards around this place. No one was able to enter this place without his permission, and neither would anyone actually be able to find it as the magic would subtly guide them around this place.
"Can we stay for a while?" Freiya asked with a hopeful expression. She was greatly enjoying the peaceful atmosphere of this place and she could definitely understand why the prince must have created it in the first place.
Loki nodded his agreement easily "Of course". He shortly waved a hand and a soft blanket appeared in the middle of the clearing.
Freiya immediately sat down on it, laying on her back as she waved Loki to join her. She looked up at the sky, noting once again just how different it appeared to her view from earth. She smiled a little brighter when the prince indeed laid down beside her.
"Have you been here often?" she questioned after a long moment of peaceful silence, only taking in the view and atmosphere. If she had such a little peaceful secret place accessible, she would definitely have spent every free minute here.
Loki's voice was filled with raw emotion as he answered "Whenever I needed to get away".
Freiya reached out without thinking and took one of his hands in hers, imagining a much younger Loki running from the palace, most likely after his brother and their friends annoyed him too much or after another confrontation with Odin. She felt inexplainable sorry for the lonely youth the trickster obviously had had. It was no wonder he had relied so much on tricks and honed a silver tongue.
Playing tricks on others might have been the only time he actually got some attention from them altogether, maybe safe from Thor. Freiya did not doubt her brother probably even had good intentions, the loyalty he still displayed for Loki spoke of a very deep kind of love after all, but she had seen enough of him to realize just how rough and unrefined the blond god sometimes could be. From the memories she had seen, she had observed how Thor would often enough side with friends and join their taunting jokes against Loki. He must have trampled over his younger brother's feelings often, most likely never truly intending to hurt him.
Loki looked at their now entwined hand with a frown. Their magic was once again visibly mingling as it danced around their connection.
"This is really a great reprieve from the palace" Freiya broke the silence again. She had started letting her thump draw lazy circles on Loki's hand offhandedly.
"You've got my permission to come again," Loki said, holing out his free hand and visibly altering the wards, making them visible for a moment and Freiya watched a few specks of gold being entwined within the greenish magic.
"Oh, no" Freiya quickly shook her head in the negative "This is your place, Loki". She would not come here without him. She would gladly accompany him here again though.
Loki seemed a little affronted at her quick denial and a scowl settled on his features as he sat up again.
"I am touched by the gesture" she amended with a smile, giving his hand a soft squeeze to reinforce her words "I would love to return with you" Freiya added as an afterthought. She had turned onto her side to better face Loki and see his reaction.
The prince inclined his head thoughtfully "That should not be a problem. I used to come here often".
"Why don't you tell me something about yourself now" Freiya picked back up the question she had never received an answer to "What do you enjoy doing?" she specified when she could see Loki's features beginning to close off in the blink of an eye.
As the prince was still sitting and had moved a little to lean his back against the bark of a tree, pulling his long legs upwards towards his chest, Freiya moved closer to him and while she maintained eye contact with him, she lightly leaned her back against his legs lightly, giving him every opportunity to either move out of the way or simply push her away.
He allowed the contact though and Freiya relaxed once Loki began answering the question, not making any comment on their certainly intimate position at all "I like a variety of things. Reading for starters…".
They had been in the clearing for a long while already.
Loki had explained his passion for the history of Seiðr to Freiya under her intent watchful gaze. He had been uncertain if the subject would be boring to her, but she did not interrupt his words, neither did she appear uninterested.
She still continued to lightly trace nonsense patterns on the back of his hand. The contact made his skin tingle in a rather unexpected and to him unaccustomed way. A part of him clearly enjoyed the gentle caress and something he was unable to name at the moment within him calmed for the first time in a very long while.
The halting of her soft touch was what alerted him to Freiya having nodded off. He frowned down at her slightly. The position did not appear very comfortable from his perspective. Loki lightly wiggled his hand out of her grasp and pulled her upper body upwards for a moment, stretching out his long legs beneath her and lowering her head to rest comfortably on one of his thighs.
When her eyelids began to flutter slightly, as if she was waking up, Loki lightly let his fingers glide through a few strands of her light brown wavy hair. "Sshh" he soothed her in a soft and silky tone. He did not know if the princess had been sleeping well on Asgard since her arrival, but he guessed she may be exhausted as she had lost control of her Seiðr twice just on the previous day, which tended to be more draining than one would expect.
After his initial temperamental reaction to Freiya's words of trust and assumptions of his own trust in her, Loki realized during the night that he had acted out too strongly toward her. Going to her room and offering her to ward it had been a peace offering indeed. He had debated with himself all night on how to proceed. He knew it would be easier to just keep Freiya away and he had been steadfast in this initial decision for a few hours.
Weirdly enough it had been Frigga who had changed his mind about it. The queen had visited him in the early hours of the night. He had kept his door sealed for several hours and the queen knocked only a few moments after Loki had let the incantation fade away which only allowed the conclusion that she had waited for this.
His nerves had still been on edge upon her entry and it must have shown on his features openly, no matter how quickly he had tried to hide it Frigga knew him too well.
"What bothers you like this, sweetling?" the queen had asked, unbothered by his unwelcoming expression, striding closer and placing her hands on his cheeks in a gentle gesture.
Loki had startled away from her touch with a frown.
"From the earlier downpour, I assume Freiya was here" Frigga had continued and only a flash of sadness through her eyes showed her hurt at Loki distancing himself.
He had nodded and briefly explained what had transpired. The queen had not appeared surprised "I have already spoken to your father…".
He had not let her finish and his lingering anger bubbled over "He is not my father!" he had raised his voice and his features tightened.
Frigga shook her head slightly, sighing visibly "Am I not your mother then?" she had asked.
Loki opened his mouth to tell her that she indeed was not, but something kept the words locked on the tips of his tongue.
"You have let your anger rule you far too long, sweetling" Frigga continued and the regret was clear on her features "Your father and I failed you. We know that" she conceded "Freiya has not earned your scorn though, neither has Thor".
Loki scowled at his mother at the accusation. He knew though that at least some truths had been within her words and it soothed him to a certain extent to hear the acknowledgment of the wrongs done to him by the king and queen. It would have helped even more if the words came from Odin himself.
"You are not confined to the palace anymore, but please do not leave Asgard" the queen all but begged "I do not want to worry again if you will ever return home".
Loki's features softened. He did not enjoy causing pain to the woman who had raised him. "This connection with Freiya…" he started to ask.
Frigga shook his head though "I cannot tell you any more than I already told her, sweetling" an apology glistened within her blue eyes "You will find out on your own what it fully means. Give it an opportunity as you are still at the crossroad."
She had left him after a brief hug, not even bothering to ask him to come to dinner, knowing he would not follow the summon if it was not an official order.
Loki had mulled over the queen's words until the early hours of the morning. In the end, he had decided to follow her advice and indeed give whatever this was a chance. He could imagine what at least one side of whatever crossroad Frigga was referring to was holding for him. Death. Destruction. Definitely nothing good. He could only hope that there was something else on the other side now.
