Soon, she was even gladder to be so close to the fire because she was starting to feel cold now that she wasn't really moving or doing something physical. She regretted having left so abruptly and only grabbing her bag in her room and leaving her jacket and hat behind. With half an ear she listened to how Mr. Evans told them more about his service in the war. Then Ben wanted to know why he accompanied them and wasn't with his family to protect them.

"Maybe I don't like the idea of men like you on the loose" Ben only chuckled

"It's man's nature to take what he wants, Dan. That's how we're born"

"But not all choose to act on it" Cecilia muttered more to herself before Mr. Evans said he had only ever lived an honest life.

"Might be honest but I don't think it's much of a living. You must be hurting bad for money to take this job" Mr. Evans didn't react and told him to sleep "I imagine debt puts a lot of pressure on a marriage"

"Oh, you imagine? What would you know about marriage?" Cecilia let out a snort of laughter and hid her nose further in her book with another giggle although she wasn't focusing on it all because she wanted to hear Ben's answer.

"I know enough to say I'd treat my wife a whole lot better than you treat yours. Now you cover your ears Missy, so you don't get ideas" she looked back and glanced at him when he already continued. "I'd make sure she gets everything she desires. Plenty of food, pretty dresses, finest jewelry, books, whatever she likes. I'd spoil her and wouldn't make her work so hard. I'd make her feel like a queen and the most loved women on earth" she found herself smiling and threw a glance at Mr. Evans who didn't seem happy at all. "Yeah, I'll bet Alice was a real pretty girl before she married you" that however, seemed to be one too much for the rancher and he lunged at Ben, who didn't seem impressed in the slightest, while all the others – herself included – seemed rather shocked. Finally, they managed to calm the rancher down, who moved to sit back at his place, still not looking very pleased. But she understood because she was certain if someone else had talked shit about her or the marriage, said person would not have gotten off so lightly.

"It's my watch now" Tucker announced, leaning forward. Cecilia only let out a groan, making her husband chuckle "You got a problem with that?"

"We were supposed to get sleep, now with you staying awake I can't do that"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"That I don't trust you"

"You don't trust me? Look behind you and see who you should be scared of"

"To be fair" Cecilia closed her book "in contrast to you, he's never attacked or tried to hurt me. And only in the few hours since we've met at saloon you tried to lunge at me what… three times?"

"You provoked me"

"I guess you deserved that. Besides, she been doing that to me too and yet I never felt the need to make her pay. And didn't you say I was the dangerous one? Missy's got a fair point."

"You stay out of this, Ben Wade. That's between the woman and me"

"I'd like seeing you making him shut up. And who said I'd talk to you to discuss that shit?" she said at the same time as Ben also gave a comment in that direction:

"Good luck with both of that"

"Go to sleep" Mr. McElroy ordered "all of you, except Tucker, you keep watch" Cecilia promised herself not to go to sleep until someone else took over. On the other hand, did she really want to sleep and have the others noticing her having nightmares? Quite soon it was rather quiet and she started to feel a little lonely. How she would have loved to cuddle up against Ben as she usually did.

"Hey" she suddenly heard with a nudge to her back. When she turned around she saw that Ben had sat up and leant over to her. "You get some sleep, I'll keep an eye on him" he nodded his head in Tucker's direction.

"What are you two discussing?"

"Bible proverbs" Cecilia immediately answered

"I doubt he knows the bible. But I know some parts and what it says about wicked and evil men"

"Don't judge others by your own standards… Proverbs 21:10 is about wickedness, for example: The soul of the wicked desireth evil: his neighbour findeth no favour in his eyes"

"Do you know them all by heart? Maybe should've become a preacher instead"

"Ain't that much fun. Besides, you sure the wicked men mentioned don't apply to you too? They do as far as I'm concerned"

"What makes you think that?"

"Some verses in Proverbs 6. So he that goeth in to his neighbour's wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent. Verse 29. Men do not despise a thief, if he steals to satisfy his soul when he is hungry. The following one, so you tell me." Cecilia chuckled and remembered another one

"Isn't there another one about a jealous husband?"

"Ah yes, 6:34, also linked to touching another's wife: For jealousy is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance. So, you better watch out in case her husband finds out you're wooing her." the words were directed at Tucker and she definitely got the warning tone in them but of course Tucker didn't realize and just chuckled.

"You go and cite the bible, it won't make you go to heaven" Ben too let out a chuckle and leaned back a little and they fell into silence.

"You're cold, Missy"

"No. I'm not" she replied but realized that her husband was right. "Maybe a bit" she admitted

"You got the key to the handcuffs?"

"Why would you need it, Wade?"

"Well, I can't take off my jacket and give it to dear Cecilia here as long as I'm chained up, now can I? And I'm definitely not letting her freeze"

"She can have my coat" Tucker decided and started to slip out of it.

"No" Cecilia decided "I don't want it" she glared at Tucker

"You'd rather freeze?"

"No but I'd rather sleep in his arms than taking your fucking coat" she hissed, pointing at the outlaw.

"Do you even know what you're saying?" she snorted and turned around to Ben "As if you'd do that" at least he had stopped taking off the coat and was watching her instead.

"You bet" she muttered moving closer to Ben and pretending she was very uncomfortable and reluctant about it, she finally hugged him.

"Have you lost your mind?" she heard Tucker protest but didn't pay any attention to him, instead trying to stay as stiff as she was, when her husband placed his arms around her as well as good as he could due to the handcuffs.

"Now, I really like that" Ben half-whispered, so that Tucker could hear it too. Unfortunately, he then came over and pulled her away from her husband.

"I should put you over my knee" he growled

"For what? You more or less dared me to!"

"Hey! You stay right where you are" after she had turned around to Ben she saw that he had gotten up and wanted to leave.

"Just getting a blanket for Missy from my horse"

"A blanket?"

"She's cold and you don't wanna hear what other ideas she'd get rather than putting on your coat. I've got the impression she can be a dickhead" she gave him a glare what made him smile.

"Fine. I'll come with you" Cecilia frowned and a part of her was certain that Ben would use the chance to get his revenge on Tucker, so she kinda was surprised when they both returned and even more when Ben, instead of handing her the blanket, put it around her shoulders himself.

"Thank you" she said, wrapping it around her a bit tighter.

"You thank that bastard? I offered you my coat too and you didn't show any kind of gratefulness"

"Wow, maybe you're finally that close to understanding what I've been trying to tell you for weeks. That I don't like you" Tucker only glared at her and made a step towards her that her husband stepped between them.

"If you think about hurting her again, you gotta get through me first. She's under my protection now" the words made her smile and she picked up her book, feeling rather happy when Tucker decided to let it go and sat down again.

Since she had been feeling a bit tired anyways, she lay down later anyways but didn't even try to sleep. Not like she could have because suddenly the floor was too hard and in addition the usual sorrows and pains she now had others as well and didn't want to find out what nightmares her brain would come up with. Then, as if everything wasn't bad enough already, she heard how Tucker started to sing and let out a growl, trying to cover her ears.

"I suppose it's too much to ask for a little quiet?" her husband protested

"Well, the way I figured it, is I'd be asleep in my own bed right now if it weren't for you. So, if I gotta be up, well, then, you're damn well gonna be up with me too, Ben Wade" Cecilia sat up

"Yeah but did you consider that like this, I've got to stay awake with you two bastards too? Besides, you have a choice to be here, you could have said no. You even volunteered for the fucking watch"

"As you could have chosen to stay in Bisbee"

"With you, I suppose? Then my life would've been heading south, even without you. And I already got enough to handle with my pregnancy. You want me to list you just a fraction of the symptoms I've had to deal with since I got pregnant? Want to hear why they keep me up at night? Wanna hear about my nightmares and what I've been told about the birth?"

"A birth doesn't hurt more than being shot in the balls. Women are just weak"

"Oh? Maybe it doesn't hurt more. But a birth can take several hours. You wanna be shot in the balls for several hours? Do you know what happens if you're shot several hours? You fucking die. Women usually survive childbirth. Men are weak"

"You better watch your mouth"

"And you better shut up or I'll throw my book at you"

"You wouldn't dare" Ben hadn't even finished his comment about the stupidity of the 'dare' when her copy of Moby Dick hit Tucker right in the face.

"Told you so" Cecilia defended herself before suddenly Mr. McElroy was awake again, asking in an angry voice what had been going on.

"She threw a book at me!"

"I warned him. I warned him to shup up and he dared me to throw it. It's his own fucking fault" the Pinkerton looked at her.

"I guess I now know why your husband 'mistreated' you"

"Oi, I never threw a book at him" she had, however, once whacked her book over Ben's head playfully a few months ago after he had splashed water at her.

"I hope for your sake you won't throw books again or cause any other kinds of troubles or I'll leave you right where we are"

"Remember that you're the one that allowed her to come, Byron?"

"You stop grinning and shut up" Mr. McElroy said pointing at Ben "You, apologize and back to sleep" he pointed at her "And you stop annoying the Missus and the prisoner and continue your watch"

"Yes, Dad" she muttered and did as she was asked. Also the other two listened and were silent again. Not even half an hour later, however, she noticed that Tucker seemed to have fallen asleep and sat up to check if she was right. "How serious he took his duty" she turned around and a part of her was surprised that Ben hadn't used the chance to run yet. "You're still here?"

"Thought I was clear in Bisbee that I ain't leaving without you"

"What are we waiting for then?"

"That you get some sleep"

"Ben…"

"Don't you worry 'bout me. We can escape tomorrow or wait for the boys to come" she shook her head and felt tears running down her cheeks. He sighed and sat up "Come here" she didn't need to be told twice and moved closer, wrapping her arms around him and crying against his chest. "Easy there. I ain't gonna leave you"

"But what if something happens?" she muttered "I don't want our baby to grow out without a father"

"She won't. Promise" she felt him peck her hair.

"What-what if I don't make it? What if I don't survive the birth?"

"Stop worrying about that. Everything'll be fine"

"I can't know that. The baby's still in breech position"

"Which means?" she quickly explained it and told him some consequences it could have for both her and the baby. "By the time you're due, we'll both be in Mexico and our baby will have turned around"

"What if not?"

"There surely is a way to help it turn around"

"Doc Potter said we could try that if it hasn't turned in three weeks. But now I'm leaving. He won't know"

"We'll find you another doctor. Or a midwife. Or someone with experience. Everything will be fine. Now you stop worrying. Ain't good for the little one either" she gave a nod, looked up and wiped her tears away. When his hand came up to do the same on her other cheek, she took his hand.

"They must hurt" she said, referring to the shackles

"Not that bad" she gave a nod and reached for her bag, taking out a cream the Doc had given her for skin care.

"I heard they easily scar once it excoriates"

"Missy… it ain't gonna scar"

"I'll make sure of that" she opened the pot and saw his unamused glance

"Will that make you stop worrying?"

"Yes" she said and with a sigh he complied, letting her treat his wrists with the ointment. "Can you hold me when I lie back down?"

"Now, we don't want the others to find out about us so we can keep up our lil' game"

"Just because you like all the flirting and teasing" she replied with a slight smile.

"World probably doesn't make sense too poor Tucker, who can't believe how you can reject a guy like him and like me instead" she chuckled.

"You think he would understand better if he knew the truth or find it even more unbelievable?"

"The second. I doubt he's clever enough to make the connections"

"Probably"

"You've got my word that he won't bother you again"

"I know that. After all you've made it clear that I'm under your protection. Funny, how everyone's trying to protect me from you when, in fact, you're the one who'd do most to protect me. And the boys won't harm me either"

"Probably makes you the most protected member of that posse"

"Guess so"

"How 'bout a deal?"

"What kind of deal?"

"Your wish earlier; I'll lie with you until you've fallen asleep" her smile now was more genuine.

"How could I say no to that?"

It was still dark when she was woken from her slumber with a start when something heavy fell on top of her legs. She shot up and saw Mr. McElroy pulling Ben from her legs and was beating him up hard. Letting out a scream because she disliked that very much, she started looking around to find out what was even going on.

"Enough" Mr. Butterfield insisted "You've already hurt Mrs. Dawson and are scaring her. Enough, Mr. McElroy" The doctor was leaning over Tucker and that was when she realized that the latter was dead. And now she was pretty sure to know what was going on. When Ben had promised her that Tucker would leave her alone he hadn't meant that he would protect but that he planned to kill him. On the other hand, she should have known he would try that after what the other man had done. She pressed her fist against her mouth and bit her knuckles. Luckily, Mr. Evans managed to pull Mr. McElroy away from Ben and she just barely managed not to run over to him to check up on him.

"We have to bury him" the Doc decided

"Take the time to dig one grave, might as well dig one for yourself" Mr. McElroy, said before ordering them to get ready to leave. After she threw a quick, checking glance at her husband and felt reassured through his chuckling and singing, she reached for her shoes to put them on.

"Ah damn it" she muttered, when she noticed that her feet were swollen again that the shoes almost wouldn't fit.

"Do you need help with something?" Mr. Butterfield asked.

"Too weak or dumb to put on the shoes?" Mr. McElroy asked and she glared at him

"Just because one asshole's dead doesn't mean you have to take his place" she muttered.

"I'd be careful, Missy's still got her book to throw. Although her words are effective too" she let out a deep sigh and tried to put on the shoe again which wasn't so easy because her stomach was in the way.

"Come, I'll help" the Doc finally offered and she felt glad although she wasn't too happy about it.

"Thanks" she muttered once she had both shoes on and used his hand to get to her feet.

"Maybe if we put in a stop during the day we can antedate your examination. I want to be sure you're alright"

"Yeah, sounds good" she said quietly and noticed that her stuff was still lying around on the ground. Mr. Evans noticed her problem and picket up her belongings and brought them to her horse. Thanking him, she attached them to the saddle or put them in the bags, suddenly feeling tired again. Luckily, the rancher also helped her getting onto the horse and once everyone had mounted, they rode on.

"You look like you're gonna fall off that horse any moment now, Missy" she hadn't even noticed that Ben was riding beside her and gave a shrug. "You sure you're awake enough to ride?" although there was a teasing and joking tone in his voice, she heard the concern which surely was his reason to ask.

"I'm not a baby" she replied, not sure if she just played the gruffness or really was annoyed. Or maybe simply tired. To her dismay, Ben called out that he thought she needed a break.

"She can rest when we've reached Contention" Mr. McElroy decided, making her huff.

"Where's your hat?" Ben asked and she shrugged again.

"Forgot it at the saloon" she expected another joke or a lecture but Ben only took off his hat (respectively the hat he suddenly had had at the Evans' ranch; probably that Crawley looked more like Ben in the coach) and placed it on her head "What about you?"

"Ah, I'm a big guy, sun can't do nothing to me" he said with a chuckle. Her stomach rumbled and Ben raised his eyebrow before rummaging one of his saddle bags and tossing her an apple. After a short wink, he sped up to ride nest to the railroad man, instantly starting to tease him. Before long, the Pinkerton stopped and Cecilia decided it was time for another potty break and searched a shielded and quiet place to do so. When she came back she knew that something was wrong.

"What?" she asked as Mr. Butterfield and the doctor helped her onto Cherry's back.

"Byron thinks we should take a shortcut that'll probably only kill us all. Not that I'd mind; they plan to hang me anyways"

"What shortcut? Down the hills?"

"No. Apache land"

"The land of the Apache that refuse to leave and kill everyone who sets foot into their territory? The land that…" she stopped herself from finishing the question, if it was the land that they had always avoided as they rode together.

"That land. The land my men and I always avoid"

"And why do we take that path?" she asked no one in particular. Mr. Butterfield just pointed into the distance and she squinted her eyes trying to find out what was wrong "Is there a fire?"

"My boys. Must've noticed your lil' ruse, Butterfield"

"And they're coming here?" Mr. McElroy just nodded.

"Oh" she felt nervous but not because she was afraid of the men but rather about what would happen to the other men here.

"Don't you worry, Missy. I guaranteed your safety and I'm a man of my word"

"I'm also worried about the others, you know?" her husband chuckled and they continued their way. As if he wanted to show her that he was serious about the protection, Ben never was too far away from her and she constantly felt his glance on her. Finally, she had enough and let herself drop back so he wouldn't stare at her anymore because he'd have to turn around which would be rather suspicious. Not because it made her uncomfortable but because she didn't want him to worry about her. It made her feel as if she was too stupid to get anything done on her own. Happily, she watched how he threw a last glance at her before riding up to Mr. Evans, who soon wanted to know why he had killed Tucker.

"Well, you know that guy seemed to have it in for my stuff. He took my gun, my horse…" his tone at the end, as if the list was unfinished and the glance he threw back to Cecilia made it clear that under other circumstances he'd have spoken the words 'my wife' out loud, even if Tucker hand only just had showed interest in her. "Besides, he should learn how to treat women"

"Of course he can learn that now" Cecilia muttered to herself.

"Did you like him, Dan? He told me he burned down your barn" somehow that didn't surprise her but it made her even angrier. She knew that Mr. Evans owed Tucker's boss money, so why would they burn the barn to increase his debts and delay the payments?

"He was an asshole but wishing him dead and killing him are two different things" she smiled at that because she found he was quite right about that.

"Your conscience is sensitive, Dan. I don't think it's my favorite part of you" if that bothered him so much, why had he never told her that? She had often talked of morale and killing but he never said something in the direction. Maybe a joke about her being too kind for the world. Maybe it was just because Mr. Evans was a man?