Dante and the Fantabulous Rod

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Especially nothing featured in this fic.

In her travels, Dante had come across the Millennium Rod. She was crossing the street having looked both ways first, when she tripped over it, and landing flat on her face she was then run over by a bus full of small children and Greed who was driving the bus.

She was sad, having been run over and all, but the shiny rod made her forget all about the grievous pain.


"Everyone look at my Millenium Rod!" said Dante.

No one looked. They had just discovered a thumbtack on the ground and were having a guessing competition as to whether it had been made before or after the 1910s. No one knew the answer, so the game was pointless, but they hadn't figured that out yet.

Dante was about to hit them with the rod violently when she too decided to join in the game. It was then that Yami Marik appeared and stole the Millenium Rod. "Yoink!" he said.

"Hey look everyone! It's Namu!" said Yugi.

They all jumped on top of him to demand he release of the cookies.

"I'm not Namu dammit!"

"Shut up Edward, we know you're not – we're talking to this guy!" said Envy.

"Oh right," said Edward.

"Well I'm not Namu either!" yelled Yami Marik.

Everyone was confused. "Is anyone in this place actually Namu?" asked Lust.

"I AM!" came a familiar voice from behind them.

Envy punched Edward. "You're Edward you retard!"

"Oh right," said Edward. "I forget things easily."

"Yes – we can see that," said Seto.

"What? See what? WHERE AM I?" said Edward frantically.

Hohenheim took Edward to go and sit in the corner.

"Ah yes, now that that's all over with…I SHALL STEAL YOUR SOULS WITH MY MILLENIUM ROD!" said Yami Marik.

The homunculi laughed. "Yeah – good luck with that," said Greed.

After a 51 episode-long chat, the Yu-Gi-Oh! bunch had finally sort of grasped the FMA storyline. Upon finally understanding what the homunculi had meant, everyone laughed and ate fairy-bread. They all decided that if they ever wanted to see a 1954 calendar again, they would have to look in opp shops or something, and that if they ever wanted to see Namu's hidden stash of cookies again, they would have to work as a team. Edward would be more of a stand-by team member though, as the outside world was still quite frightening to him.

They were very tired, and decided to crash at Yugi's game shop. That was a lot of people, so Grandpa was not a happy camper. He'd never even been camping before. Talk about needing to get out more.

While just about everyone was crammed into Yugi's bedroom, Hohenheim and Grandpa were in the kitchen getting wasted. Grandpa was talking about the old days and then Hohenheim started talking about totally older days and they ended up in a bitch-fight.

In Yugi's room, they were in the middle of playing truth or dare.

"Truth or dare?" Edward asked Mokuba.

"Edward," said Anzu, "after you ask someone 'truth or dare' you either ask them a question or give them a dare depending on how they answered…you don't just ask someone else 'truth or dare!'"

"You don't?" asked Edward. "What's the fun in that?"

Jou sweat dropped. "Maybe you should have a go later, Ed. Now Dante – truth or dare?"

"Hmmmm, truth!"

"Ok," said Jou, "were you ever a man?"

"NO DAMMIT!" Dante screeched.

"Envy – truth or dare?" asked Noa.

"…truth," said Envy. Was everyone missing something? You could just lie and no one would even know - where was the choice in that question?

"Are you a girl?"

"NO DAMMIT!" Envy screeched.

Mokuba looked from Dante to Envy. "They're related, aren't they?"

"Yep," said Wrath. "Mother and daughter."

"I JUST SAID I'M NOT A GIRL DAMMIT!" Envy roared and started throwing a tantrum.

"But you said that you were going to lie!" said Mai.

"I did not say that – I thought it! I mean, I didn't think it either!" Everyone looked at him accusingly. "Alright, alright, I did think it – but I didn't need to lie for that question!" Envy explained.

Everyone still looked at him accusingly. "I MEAN IT!" cried Envy.

Then finally they could hear the sound of the ice-cream truck. "We know Envy, we just had to get you really worked up because Namu's ice-cream truck can smell embarrassment." Said Winry.

"You used me?"

"Yes."

"…I would stay mad for longer, but ICE-CREAM!" said Envy.

"NO WAIT ENVY – IT'S A TRAP!" everyone else yelled. But Envy, being a very fast runner, and an extremely fast runner when there was ice-cream involved, was long gone.

"Damn," said Sloth. "Now we'll never be able to take Namu prisoner and demand the release of the cookies!"

"I wouldn't be so sure…" said Dante.

"Dude, you've got to stop doing that," said Roy.

"Ok, I will, but seriously – if I know Envy, and I'm 50 percent sure I do, then it may be a blessing in disguise…"

Goodnight Springton – there will be no encore. No really, thank you so much reviewers! Exams crushing the life out of me at present but if I see happy reviews I will be forced to update sooner no matter what! (I mean these tests will only be determining the rest of my life right? Nothing to worry about!) So yeah, PLEASE REVIEW!