A parody by Mairi Whiterose

Annie looked at the computer screen; stuff was written on it that she didn't understand. Suddenly, there was a soft padding noise and the door opened "Annie, what are ya doin up there you daft girl, get down." I said, smiling and lifting down the tiny white cat with black spots; sort of like a Dalmatian In cat form. Annie scurried over to where her big brother Cal, a cat as black as midnight was lying with one eye open, gazing lazily at me as I typed.

"And Jesse's Grey/Blue eyes were filled with tears as he got kicked over and over again by the guy in the mask. He was sure that by now he had broken more than a few ribs and was only inches from having a punctured lung"

I stopped writing, oh damn it, as always I was having a case of writers block and, at the risk of sounding clichéd, was stuck in a hole I had been digging for several chapters now and I didn't want to do what one of my best friends always did if one of her story's got slow, bring in the slashiness. Besides, that whole slash thing was way overrated. As I was contemplating what to do next, a high, bright voice groaned, "Not again, why's it always me, Jesse gets shot, Jesse gets beaten up, Jesse gets his head shoved through the window, why do you writers love tormenting me huh?" it asked.

I grinned and turned in my swivel chair to face the small, light brown haired figure that was lying on my bed.

"I was beginning to wonder when you'd show up," I said, looking at him, or it, after years of writing fan fics, I still didn't know which.

"So, what are you going to do now you've picked on the little guy?" Jesse asked me quizzically as I turned back to my computer, "Ah, that's why I need you, the story's gettin' slow and I need some help, any ideas?" I asked over my shoulder as he came and perched himself in his fave place when he was helping me, on the edge of my desk.

He began to read what I'd typed so far and gave me an exasperated look "And Jesse's Grey/Blue eyes were filled with tears as he got kicked over and over again" he quoted, "why am I always the one who cries?"

"Cause you look so damn cute when you do," another voice said, this time deeper. We both turned and saw Steve sitting on my sofa, well, what part of my sofa that wasn't taken up by a big lion and several puffy cushions. "Hello," I said as I watched him shove my lion further over and pick up an old magazine that I'd left there. "Hey," He said as he began to flick through it, a little stiffly I noticed. Then, the reason became apparent; he was wearing a neck brace. "Um, what's with the neck brace?" I asked as he looked up.

"Oh, someone decided to drop me into a Helena RW slash fic about Mcfly and she dropped a piano on me because I called her an idiot" he replied.

"ooh, nasty, perhaps I should have warned you about her."

"WHAT, You know that evil girl?"

"YEP, though sometimes I wish I didn't,"

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WISH YOU DIDN'T a voice from above said

"UH OH," we all cried in unison as an aeroplane toilet fell from the sky and landed right on top of Steve.

"Rats, oh well, have you come to help me or what?" I asked Jesse, who just stared at the crushed remains of Steve.

"Kay, I'll help." He agreed, and with that, we stayed up typing long into the night while Steve, who by this point had been regenerated, cleaned up the mess his guts had made on the floor.

THE END