Not Too Safe

"I know why it's happened, of course. It's all this uncertainty with You-Know-Who coming back, people think they might be dead tomorrow, so they're rushing all sorts of decisions they'd normally take time over. It was the same last time he was powerful, people eloping left, right, and center—"

"Including you and Dad," said Ginny slyly.

-- J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, chapter 5


So she sits you down one night in the Hufflepuff common room and she says, "Ernie, what are you planning to do after Hogwarts?"

And you think, after Hogwarts? After Hogwarts? Because I'm not sure Hogwarts can survive without me. Not when there's a war on. I mean, I'm a prefect.

And you think, "you"? What does she mean by "you"? I don't like this stuff about "you." Because I thought it was "we."

And you say, "Hannah, I think what you meant to say, is, 'What are we planning to do after we take our NEWTs?'"

And she says, "So it's we?"

And you say, "Well, I think so."

And she says, "Well, I think so too, but in that case I think we ought to get engaged."

So you say, "All right, then, Hannah, will you marry me?" Which isn't very romantic, but it's efficient, and she doesn't seem to mind, because after all, there's a war on, and you're prefects, and you've both just got an awful lot to do.

And you write to your parents, but she only writes to her father, because her mother is dead, and she's not even sure about her father, because he's in St. Mungo's now, seeing an Emotional Management Healer three times a day, because he cracked up because too many people are dead.

At least Hannah's okay.

And she tells you she wants to meet you after breakfast on Saturday morning, by the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy teaching trolls to dance ballet. That's where the D.A. met, come to think of it. When there wasn't a war on and her mother wasn't dead, and you still thought you could keep people safe. And she screws up her eyes and you think she's going to cry. And you want to say, Hannah, you're safe.

But instead she says, "Don't worry, Ernie, it's just something Ginny told me."

And a door pops out of the wall, and she opens it, and you both go in.

And you're in an airy, sunlit room dominated by one large oak bedstead. And there's some other furniture, too, but somehow the bed seems to be the main point.

And you say, "But I thought this was some sort of a laboratory for Defense against the Dark Arts."

And she says, "No, Ginny told me, it's the Room of Requirement. You think about what you need, and it appears."

And you say, "This is what you need?" Because Hannah's very cuddly, but she's also a prefect, and you've never even dared to mention things like this.

And she says, "Well, I think so. Don't you?"

Hell, yes.

So you take her in your arms and you hug her and you kiss her and you practically tear her skirt off and you push her down on the enormous oak bed—

Which come to think of it, you probably shouldn't have done, because this is a school full of children, and you're a prefect.

Prefects aren't even supposed to think about sex.

Though on second thought, even Dumbledore couldn't expect that. And none of those cheeky little Hufflepuffs knows about the Room of Requirement.

It gets a little lonely sometimes, in a castle full of cheeky little twelve-year-olds. In a castle where the seventh-years keep disappearing. In a castle where most of your friends are gone, and you're left with Hannah, and you're the prefects, and you both run around day and night trying to keep everyone safe.

Hogwarts is running out of adults, and all those cheeky little first-years and second-years are left with you. At least you can tell them not to put their feet through the rotten stairs.

And you think, now that Harry and Hermione aren't here anymore, I'm the best at Potions. I suppose, if I had to, I could teach Potions. And Horace Slughorn would be very grateful to me, and he might give me a leg up at the Ministry after the war. Because your career at the Ministry, which you've been planning since you were six, is on hold now, because you know that Hogwarts can't survive without you. Not when there's a war on.

Then all of sudden, Ginny Weasley pops up out of nowhere and she shoves a book in your hand. It's a grubby old Potions textbook that Harry gave her, and you think it's a sign.

And you think, I could—but does this mean Ginny's going? Ginny is turning seventeen soon, and she just gave you her Potions textbook. Not a good sign.

And you think, Hannah is going to have a very hard time if Ginny disappears. Now that Susan is gone.

A lot of people are gone now, and Hogwarts is running out of adults. Hogwarts is running out of teachers. A lot of the protections round the castle went when Dumbledore died, and Horace Slughorn just had another death threat. And he told you that he's going. He didn't tell you where. It's really very worrisome, when you haven't even taken your NEWTs yet.

It's really pretty silly to think you could teach Potions when you haven't passed your NEWTs yet.

However.

There's a war on. And Hannah's already teaching that class in Defense against the Dark Arts.

An Auror would be better, of course, but the Aurors are busy right now.

And Hannah is here.

And God knows Hogwarts could use a Defense against the Dark Arts instructor who isn't a werewolf or an escaped Death Eater or a total git like Dolores Umbridge.

And if you both stay at Hogwarts, maybe you can keep everyone safe.

For a while.

So now it's spring, and you're naked, and you're holding her in your arms in the great oak bedstead in the Room of Requirement, and you're having a panic attack, because all of a sudden you just remembered that this is how babies are made.

Oops.

And even if you're not planning—well, the thing is, things can happen, even if you don't mean for them to. Even if you think you're in control. Even if you're a prefect.

The war has taught you a lot about that.

And you think, I'm seventeen, and this is all happening much too fast.

And then you think, why not?

Because sometimes it's possible to be too safe.