This is in first person. It's Harry's POV by the way. It's after OOTP but before HBP. I don't own him, just the story. I don't own the song either.

I can't believe I'm still reliving this. It's been days, months, hell it's almost been a year since that happened; since I saw Cedric die, since my godfather left the plane of the living.

I was walking back to the house from the grocery store when I passed a homeless guy listening to the radio.

I will not make
The same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break
The way you did, you fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Dear Merlin, it's my life summed up into a song. Dumbledore and meddling are what got me to this point in my life. This point where I can't sleep, can't breathe, can't blink without seeing your faces, without hearing your damning accusations.

I will never let that man control my actions again: when he does, everything gets fucked up.

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid

After their deaths I was depressed. I wouldn't eat, I wouldn't sleep for fear of seeing them or some other horrific nightmare either I myself or Voldemort came up with. When I got back to school I couldn't concentrate. Nothing else seemed to matter to me or to anyone who read that bloody newspaper except what happened in the last year. Anytime I messed up, there was always someone there to let me know it was my fault and I needed to fix it. I saw it's the world's fault for putting all of this on the shoulders of a 16 year old boy who wishes for nothing but to be normal.

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh, every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

They have no idea what I've been through because of them. The nightmares, the screams, the guilt; it's all because the world is too cowardly to fight for themselves. No, they need someone to take the fall, to save their precious world and their sorry asses. They've never watched people die like I have; watched people get tortured in the most disgusting ways possible. They don't have to live with the screams of hundreds of people in their head day after day.

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

It's all Dumbledore's fault that this song is what defined my life as I walked home from the grocery store one day.

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you I am afraid

Because of you

This is the first thing I've written in a long, long time.