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Rocker: Drake, where's Lindsay?

Drake: (examining his fingernails) I haven't the faintest idea as to what you are talking about, Rocker.

Patty: Out with it, Museman.

Miz: You might look under the stairs.

Patty: (walks towards the stairs)

Drake: NOOOO! DON'T LET HER OUT! DON'T LET HER OUT! Okay, before Lindsay kills me for tying her up, let me just say that the bloopers are back!

Patty: (drags bound and gagged Lindsay back onto the stage)

Rocker: Why didn't you untie her?

Patty: I kind of like her like this. She's less annoying.

Miz: Peace and quiet at last.

Rocker: All in favor of leaving Lindsay like this, say so in your reviews.

Patty: Remember, reviews make us muses veeeery happy. And us muses make sure Lindsay doesn't screw up the story too badly.

Lindsay: MMMMPH!

Patty: That's right, Lindsay, we get into some spiritual ghost-contacting mojo in this chapter. Don't like, don't read, don't flame. Simple as that.

"Well," said Mandy, leaning back with a satisfied sigh. "I'd say we've done good."

"At least they're together now rather than shooting 'I-am-so-friggin'-in-love-with-you-but-I-don't-want-to-admit-it' looks at each other," replied Jennifer. The two friends were in their dormitory, relaxing. But not for much longer.

"GUYS, GUYS, GUYS!" screamed Ginny, racing into the dorm with Starfire right behind her. "RAVEN'S FOUND SOMETHING ON THE CRYSTAL! MOVE IT!"

Jennifer and Mandy both jumped off their beds and followed their two friends out of the dorm.

"Gin," said Jennifer as Ginny and Starfire led them out of the common room and down a few staircases, "how did she find out anything? We've been looking for a month."

"She meditated on it again, and this time it worked," replied Ginny, leaping over the trick stair (and almost falling headlong down the rest - luckily Starfire grabbed her arm). "She was able to contact some random dead guy named Reg and he asked to be contacted through a Ouija board. Said it makes it easier to talk."

"'Some random dead guy named Reg' wouldn't know about the crystal, Gin!" yelled Mandy as the four teenagers bowled over a group of first years in their haste. "He must have some significance! We don't even know if he's legitimate! This could be a trap!"

"A dead guy would try to trap us?" demanded Ginny and Jennifer at the same time.

"Well, you never know," retorted Mandy. "Maybe it's an evil spirit who thinks that You-Know-Who has the right idea and is trying to thwart us and-"

"Or maybe it's a good spirit whom you are insulting!" quipped Ginny, earning a laugh from Starfire and Jennifer.

"Or perhaps a Zwabanian glubnar has entered your finbul?" offered Starfire. She started laughing hysterically, much to the bewilderment of her three friends.

They finally reached the Room of Requirement where Raven had been meditating to find Raven, Hermione, Harry, Beast Boy, Cyborg, Robin, Ron, Pansy and Saria in the room as well. Raven and Saria had their first two fingers of each hand on the planchette, which almost seemed to be quivering. (For those of you who aren't familiar with Ouija boards, they have all the letters of the alphabet plus the numbers and optional various grammar bits, "hello," "goodbye," "yes," and "no" written on it. The planchette is anything, in this case a large teardrop-shape with a hole so the letters show through. It is supposed that the spiritual energy from the entity you are contacting guides your hands to the letters that spell out its responses. I am a firm believer. If you are, good for you. If you're not, good for you.) Hermione, a very skeptical look on her face, had a scroll of parchment with an enchanted quill to record the responses and numerous candles were lit, a stick of incense burning. Everyone else has varying looks of belief, fright, skepticism and plain blankness on their faces. They formed a circle that began with Raven and Saria, which Ginny, Mandy, Jennifer and Starfire joined.

"Where's Abs, B?" asked Mandy as she sat between Jennifer and Beast Boy.

"Said she couldn't make it," replied Beast Boy.

"Couldn't make it?" Mandy was dumbfounded. "We're saving the world by doing this, and she couldn't make it?"

"Yeah, she said something about 'something important,'" shrugged Beast Boy.

"Everyone join hands," said Raven. Her friends obeyed. Starfire, who was next to Raven, placed a hand on Raven's knee, and Pansy did the same with Saria, so the circle was complete. "Reg, can you hear me?"

The planchette moved beneath her and Saria's fingers. It slowly traveled to the Y, to the E to the S.

Yes.

"My friends and I need to know more about the crystal, and we need your word that we can trust you not to lie."

You have my word, though the answers may not be to your liking.

Mandy uneasily looked around the circle. Ron was looking pale, and Beast Boy was plain freaked. The others were either freaked like Beast Boy, or, in Hermione's case, mildly interested.

"Does the crystal have a name?"

Yes.

"What is it?"

Amethyst der Zerstörung.

"Can you tell us where it is?"

A secret crypt none have entered. Close to the Earth's molten core, though it remains as cool as a tomb.

"How do you get there?"

Zur krypta.

"I don't understand."

The spell. Zur krypta.

"Oh. Is there magic protecting it?"

The Amethyst der Zerstörung is more powerful than nature intended. It was a freak of time, forged by Darkness at its strongest. It is a protection unto itself. The first to touch it will go mad. But after that, the only danger lies in the spectacular manner the crypt will succumb to the heat of the Earth's core. For the crystal is the only thing cooling the crypt.

"Does He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named know of this?"

I do not know.

"How is it you know so much about the crystal?"

I will keep that to myself. Do not pry. I do not blame you for asking, but do not pry.

"I'm sorry."

Your curiosity is expected and tolerated, but I will say things only once.

There was a pause before Saria asked the next question.

"Do you know when You-Know-Who will go for the Amethyst der Zerstörung?"

Only that he will attempt to steal it in June.

"Always June," muttered Harry, before cut off with a shushing motion from Hermione.

"Why is that?"

He must first break the spells.

"What spells?"

There was another pause as the planchette vibrated wildly, and struggled to form the next statement.

Someone is interfering with my connection to you. I cannot linger. Good luck to y

And then he was no more. The group exchanged glances. What the heck had just happened?

Drake: (sigh) Another short chapter.

Patty: Yeah, but it's important.

Rocker: Right.

Miz: Nothing's important.

Lindsay: MMMMPH!

SCENE: To the Room of Requirement We Go! Take one

"She meditated on it again, and this time it worked," replied Ginny, leaping over the trick stair (and falling headlong down the rest). "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

"CUT!" screamed Patty, sitting in the director's chair in the absence (ahem) of Lindsay. "MEDIC! MEDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC!"

SCENE: To the Room of Requirement We Go! Take two

"She meditated on it again, and this time it worked," replied Ginny, leaping over the trick stair (and falling down the rest). Starfire tried to help her, but ended up falling as well.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" they both screamed.

"CUT!" yelled Patty again. "MEDIC! WE NEED YOU AGAIN!"

The medic, cameraman and crew stalked up to Patty with their arms crossed.

"We're on strike," the medic informed her.

"WHAT?" exploded Patty, a rather impressive feat for one five inches tall.

The striking crew members shrank back, but recovered instantly.

"You don't pay us enough!" accused the cameraman.

"Lindsay's on a tight budget since she made the mistake of buying all those CDs," explained Patty. "Wait, why am I - GINNY AND STARFIRE JUST FELL DOWN THE STAIRS! MEDIC, GO HELP THEM!"

"YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW MY NAME!" wailed the medic. "WE'RE UNDERAPPRECIATED, WE'RE WORTHLESS TO YOU BIG-TIMES-"

"GO AND HELP THEM OR YOU'RE FIRED!" snarled Patty. The medic scurried off to help them.

SCENE: To the Room of Requirement We Go! Take three

"She meditated on it again, and this time it worked," replied Ginny, leaping over the trick stair (and tripping over her own feet, falling into the rest. Starfire grabbed her, Mandy grabbed Starfire and Jennifer grabbed Mandy, and they all went down).

"CUT!" wailed Patty. "MEDIC! Oh, can we never get this freaking scene right?"

SCENE: Where is Abby?

"Where's Abs, B?" asked Mandy as she sat between Jennifer and Beast Boy.

"I'm right here," said Abby.

"CUT!" said Patty. "Abby, get off the set! I told you, you're not in this scene!"

"But Ouija boards are cool," whined Abby.

"GET OFF THE SET!"

"I'm a-gettin', I'm a-gettin'..."

BONUS FEATURE: TEARFUL JOY'S BLOOPERS FROM CHAPTER NINE!

-1-

"Then toss it."

Unfortunately, the Tamaranien had never head the expression before, and quite literally tossed the book. It flew from her hand... to the ceiling... and beaned Cyborg on the head.

Lindsay: CUT! MEDICS! NOW--Drake, since when are you the medics? There's only one of you, and you're not qualified.

Drake: We were short on cast.

Lindsay: oh... --'

-2-

"Okay, go, Hedwig!" whispered Beast Boy. The owl flew off his shoulder and into Ginny, who crashed forward into Harry.

"I'm so sorry!" exclaimed Harry, his face reddening, as Ginny rubbed her head where the owl had hit her.

"It's all right," replied Ginny.

Beast Boy turned his head to flick a bug off his hand, and when he looked back, Harry and Ginny were ALL over each other.

Lindsay: CUT! for the love of--Harry, put your pants back on! Ginny! get off my co-star! Uge, my god, WE HAVE A RATING TO UPHOLD! THIS. IS. NOT. RATED. M! Harry, Ginny! i though I told you to stop that, and-- OH, GOD! I THINK I'M BLIND! WHY ARE WE STILL TAPING? YOU PERVERTS! (Lindsay and camera person wrestle for the camera, and eventually, the film goes of the track and begins to burn a bit.)

LINE!

Drake: See, I'm a good little muse.

Patty: And now for the Reviewer Responses! (peels tape off Lindsay's mouth for Responses)

smart one - Yeah, it better be. Or else... (holds up flamethrower to orthodontist's picture)

Miss Poisonous - Sudden couplings are the best kind! And no, I don't need an angry mob! I'm a good girl! I updated! (cowers)

smart one (again XD) - Oh. Ohh. Ohhhhh... well I think RaptorLord#3 reviewed chapter one (or so) after I posted chapter 5 (or so). I only answer reviews for the previous chapter because I'm too lazy to sort through them. No offense was meant! And be happy to know that Red X will make his appearance! I know how... I just need to figure out when... (grumbles)

Goodybad - Genius! Pure, utter genius! Only I really don't have the patience for a Beta reader simply because I wait until people are about to lynch me for an update. If you would like to be my Beta, that would be one thing, but if I have to go hunting for one, I'm not going to bother because I'm lazy.

RaptorLord#3 - Fluffish can be good! And fluffish can be bad! I think this fell under "rushed." Simply because I rush. Muahahaha. Fear my rushiness.

Tearful Joy - Another sidesplitting blooper and lovely review! If you want to continue doing them even though DRAKE has started them again, be my guest! Bet you weren't expecting yours to come up? I love them that much! XD

soaring-bright-flame - Oh well, not everyone loves spontaneous matchmaking, lol. Thank you, and here are the bloopers!

AntimatterManticore - Yesh, love triangles are fun. And chores bite, do they not? (destroys evil chores only to be bombarded with them)

mdizzle - Yeah, no more three-month-spaces-between-updates for me. (Big stupid grin)

Patty: Thank you Lindsay! (puts tape back on Lindsay's mouth)

Lindsay: MMPH!

Patty: Remember, reviews determine whether the story is updated or not. And do give your opinion on freeing Lindsay. Toodles!