Jeez! Talk about a long chapter! I started writing this (silly me) at 1:30 in the morning, last night, thinking that i would just write the first paragraph before i forgot it. I didnt get to bed until 2:30, and i was only halfway through. Then i got up this morning (afternoon) and jumped back onto the computer, without showering or eating! PLEASE enjoy this chapter, it very nearly killed me!
And now, i am going to have a much needed shower and some FOOD! Please read and review! Oh ,and i changed the settings so that ANONYMOUS READERS COULD NOW REVIEW! That means you, non members! Please review me!
Dont own Friends/actors/characters but Matt Perry does live in my attic...enjoy!
Chandler sat in what he thought was possibly the most uncomfortable chair he had ever sat in. They were in the waiting room of Dr. Daniel Mackenzie. By 'they', he meant the entire group. Rachel had informed Monica and Joey of the situation while he had been sleeping, and Ross and Phoebe had been informed later that night. Chandler squeezed his eyes shut at the memory of the night before.
He had suffered through the dream once again. The exact same dream, of Nicole dying. He had hoped that, now that it was over, that she was dead, the dream would stop. But it hadn't, choosing instead to continue torturing him.
Chandler had been forced awake by Joey roughly shaking him, and once again, he had bawled like a baby, this time in Joey's arms. He was embarrassed because of that, but Joey had reassured him that he had nothing to worry about. Chandler touched his nose gingerly. It had once again bled last night, and hadn't stopped for a while. Chandler glanced up at Monica, remembering how she had held a tissue against his nose. All three had done that now. Rachel, Joey and now Monica. He wondered who was next. Would it be Ross or Phoebe?
Chandler's eyes shifted towards those two. They had been the last to know; finding out once Chandler had been placed in Rachel's bed. The rest of the group had been sure that he was asleep, but Chandler had lain awake, listening to their conversation about him.
Monica was terrified. She liked to have control over things, and this was something she couldn't control. She was terrified that Chandler was losing his mind, and that they were going to lose him.
Ross wasn't sure what to think. His oldest and best friend was hurting, and he was upset by that fact, but he wasn't sure if he fully believed in the dreams. It went against what he believed in. But this was Chandler. Chandler wouldn't make up something this huge. Therefore, Ross didn't know what to think.
Phoebe was worried, and also amazed. Chandler had been given a gift, but it was coming at a terrible price. She had always believed that everyone was special in their own different way, and Chandler was no exception. She tried to tell everyone that it was a gift, but they hadn't listened. Now, even she wasn't sure it was a good thing. She didn't like how it was affecting him.
Joey was filled with a hundred different emotions: sadness, fear, confusion, anger, to name a few. This was something that no one could have prepared for. His best friend was in pain, and he had no idea how to help him. He had never felt so lost.
Rachel felt the same way as Joey did. She was so angry; she still wanted answers. But at the same time she was upset and terrified. She had broken down into tears more then once the night before, and had also gone in to check on Chandler more then once. He had seemed to be fast asleep, but Rachel was sure that he was feigning rest. She was worried about what he was thinking; them all talking about him was something that she was sure he didn't want. He had looked so innocent, pretending to sleep. Rachel had no idea how something like this could happen to a person like Chandler.
He was so sweet, and caring, and she just couldn't understand why.
Chandler glanced around at his friends, noticing they all looked deep in thought. Were they thinking about him? It was likely.
"Thankyou," he said softly. Five pairs of eyes looked up at him.
"For what, honey?" Rachel asked gently. Chandler shrugged, suddenly feeling self conscious.
"For…I dunno. For being here I guess. For not judging me, and not carting me off to the loony bin." Chandler's half-hearted attempt at a joke fell flat on its face. "Just… thankyou."
"Whatever you need Chandler; we're here for you," Ross piped up. Chandler smiled at him, a real smile.
"This guy is good, Chandler," Rachel informed him once again, patting his hand gently. "He knows his stuff."
"I know," Chandler said meekly.
"You still don't want to go, do you?" Joey asked after a moment. Chandler shrugged once again.
"It's just…weird. I mean, it was hard enough talking to you guys, but talking to some stranger? I don't know what to think!"
"He's a professional Chandler; he's there to talk about this stuff," Phoebe said softly. Chandler sighed, and nodded.
"Chandler Bing?" Chandler looked up at the sound of his name, and saw a woman smiling at him. "Dr Mackenzie is ready for you. Will your entourage be joining you?"
Chandler laughed lightly as he stood up.
"No, they're just for moral support, I guess. I'll be doing this on my own," she told her. She nodded, smiling again.
"Okay, follow me." Chandler looked back at his friends, who were all smiling at him. It actually looked a bit creepy, and he smiled at the thought.
"Good luck man," Joey called. Chandler's smile widened and he followed the woman into the room.
Dr Daniel Mackenzie greeted him warmly, with a friendly smile and handshake. If Chandler had to guess, he would say he was in his late 50's, judging from the greying hair and the laugh lines around his eyes and mouth. His eyes revealed a much younger spirit though, and for some reason, that calmed Chandler down slightly.
"Thankyou Michelle," Dr Mackenzie thanked the girl kindly. Chandler flinched at the mention of the name 'Michelle' which didn't go unnoticed by the doctor.
Mackenzie gestured to Chandler to take a seat as Michelle left the room. Chandler sat down, suddenly feeling nervous once again.
"Okay Chandler…that's an interesting name," Dr Mackenzie noted as he took a seat across from Chandler.
"Yeah, my parents felt the need to add more misery to my life," Chandler said, smiling slightly. Mackenzie grinned.
"I like it, it's classy,"
"Well, it's not your name," Chandler muttered. Mackenzie laughed; a deep throaty sound that Chandler couldn't help but grin at.
"So, what don't you like about the name Michelle?" the Doctor asked suddenly, taking Chandler by surprise.
"What do you mean?" he asked nervously. Mackenzie sighed.
"Chandler, you're going to have to trust me," he said softly. "I saw you flinch when I said her name. Now, Rachel mentioned that you have been having dreams. Is it related to that somehow?"
Chandler bit his lip thoughtfully. He had told Rachel that he needed help, and that he was willing to go see a professional. Now he was here, getting help with a professional and he was holding back.
"There was a Michelle in my dream," he admitted. "Never saw her, but she was mentioned."
"I see. Tell me about these dreams," Mackenzie said softly.
"You get right to the point don't ya?" Chandler said with a little laugh.
"It's my job."
Chandler smiled, took a deep breath, and proceeded to tell the doctor everything. Every part of his dreams, how he had felt during and after, how scared he was, how he felt that he had failed. Everything. Mackenzie sat in silence, listening intently as Chandler spilled his heart and soul.
"And now, my friends are so worried about me. I heard them last night, when they thought I was asleep. They were talking for hours about me. God, I'm making them worry so much and I don't want that. It isn't there problem," Chandler finished quietly. Dr Mackenzie nodded thoughtfully.
"I heard that you had a number of friends out there waiting," he noted.
"They just needed a good excuse to get off work," Chandler said dryly. He was slightly confused that Mackenzie had not commented on his dreams, but he pushed that confusion aside.
"Have you always used humour as a defence mechanism?" Mackenzie asked. Chandler raised his eyebrows in surprise. He had made few jokes, but the Doctor still had figured him out.
"Pretty much. It was my way of coping with my parents divorce. That and wetting the bed. I guess it stuck…the humour, not the bed wetting."
"Tell me about your family Chandler."
"My friends are my family," Chandler muttered, feeling self conscious.
"Judging from that, I would say that your relationship with your parents is strained?" Chandler sighed.
"You could say that. My mother isn't exactly what you would call a 'normal mom'. She's a famous novelist; writes erotic romance novels."
"Nora Bing?" Dr Mackenzie asked in surprise.
"Yeah. Growing up, she spent more time with her boyfriends then she did me. And believe me, there were a lot of boyfriends. We were both glad when I went off to boarding school."
"And your father?"
"Dad headlines a gay burlesque show in Las Vegas, called 'Viva Las Gaygas. Need I say more?"
"No, not really," Mackenzie said smiling. "Chandler, have you ever heard of precognition?" Chandler raised an eyebrow. He had moved back onto that subject with ease.
"Of course."
"From what you have told me about your dreams, it sounds like a textbook case of precognition."
"You think I have precognition?" Chandler asked, surprised.
"It's a possibility. One among a hundred different possibilities, of course. How much do you know about precognition?"
"Not much," Chandler admitted softly. Dr Mackenzie nodded.
"Okay, well. Precognition is the knowledge or perception of what is going to happen in the future. It is the most frequently reported of all ESP, that's extrasensory perception, and it occurs most often in dreams – much like what is happening to you. It also sometimes occurs in waking visions, flashing thoughts entering the mind and hallucinations – not just visual but audio. From what you told me, you have experienced a few of those things.
The majority of precognition occurs within 24 to 48 hours prior to the event, but there are some cases that occur weeks, or even years beforehand. 80 percent of these experiences involve visions of something happening to a spouse, family member or friend. The remainder usually involves casual acquaintances and strangers, most who are going to be involved in major disasters such as plane crashes or earthquakes. Your experience is pretty rare but it does happen."
"Okay," Chandler said after a short silence. "So, say I do have this precognition. Does that mean that I am going to have more dreams about different people, or was that the only one?"
Dr Mackenzie leaned forward in his chair, exhaling softly.
"I really couldn't tell you Chandler. It is different for everyone. There is a chance that you may have more dreams, but there is also a chance that you won't."
"Okay," Chandler repeated. "What about the fact that I am still having dreams, after the event took place?"
"That is quite common. Some people call it an echo. It's like dreaming of a situation that you have been in. Dreams stick with you, and people quite often relive them. You may continue to have this dream about Nicole for awhile, I'm afraid."
Chandler nodded grudgingly. He had been afraid of that.
"Oh, look at the time!" Dr Mackenzie exclaimed suddenly. "We've gone overtime by 15 minutes. I don't usually do that; my next patient must be getting annoyed."
Chandler nodded again, standing up this time.
"Thankyou for this," he said softly. Dr Mackenzie stood and held out his hand, which Chandler shook.
"It was my pleasure. I want you to come back in next week," the doctor said smiling. Chandler pulled back his hand, frowning.
"Why?"
"Chandler, I can't help you with one session. You have been through a big shock, and you have to talk about it more. Plus, I want to check to see if you have any more dreams."
"Chandler nodded for the third time, accepting this. He hadn't wanted to return, but he knew he had to.
"Okay. I'll make an appointment," he said softly. Dr Mackenzie smiled, and then led him to the door.
"Good, I'll be happy to see you again. Michelle! Send in Miss Callahan!" he called over Chandler's shoulder. "Oh and Chandler?"
"Yeah?"
"This wasn't your fault. Nicole died because she was murdered. Not because you didn't do anything. You couldn't have known," Dr Mackenzie said seriously. Chandler nodded. Everyone kept saying that to him. He was starting to believe that it was true.
"Thankyou," he murmured.
"Your welcome."
Chandler turned and walked out the door, preparing himself for the onslaught that would be his friends. He didn't care about their questions though. They were here for him.
That was all that mattered.
