Phew! I am just shooting out the chapters! This was meant to be a short chapter...but as you may have figured out, i dont know the meaning of short. This chapter was neccessary, we had to deal with a few things. I'm sorry to all Mondler fans...hey they are my fave couple eva too! But there are just so many Mondler fics, and plas we get the real thing on screen, so i wanted to do something different...please keep reading...i love you!

Hopefully this chapter will keep you guys happy for a while...i prolly wont post for a couple of days, kinda busy. But i am about to get to the real juicy part of the story! So hold on to ya britches, I'm getting there! Please read and review, it means the world to me!.

Dont own friends...well you know the rest! MATT ROCKS!


Rachel entered Apartment 20, yawning softly. It had been a long day, what with Chandler's appointment with Dr Mackenzie and all. Add that to the zero amount of sleep she had gotten the night before and the gruelling question and answer session that her friends had put both her and Chandler through -both before and after the appointment - and you had a rough day.

She was returning from Chandler and Joey's apartment, after spending some time talking to Chandler. He seemed to find it easier to confide in her then anyone else; she assumed that was because he had confided in her first, not by choice, but desperation.

Ross and Phoebe had gone home for the night, both offering comforting words to Chandler before they left. Rachel knew that wasn't really what Chandler wanted. He didn't want them to pity him; he just wanted everything to be normal, like it had been before this had all happened. She had agreed with him, but had told him that things wouldn't be like that, not for a while anyway. Chandler had reluctantly agreed with her.

Joey had sat with the two for a while, which neither Rachel nor Chandler minded. He was Chandler's best friend after all, and was just as upset about the whole situation as everyone else – possibly even more. Joey had a tendency to worry too much.

But he had drifted off to bed after a while, claiming that he had an early audition the next morning. Rachel wasn't sure if that was true, or if Joey was just feeling unnerved by the situation.

Chandler and Rachel had sat for a while longer; talking about the situation for a little while; about how scared Chandler was that he would have more dreams, not only about Nicole, but about a different person. What if he had a dream about one of them?

Rachel admitted that she hadn't thought about that, but it was a possibility. That thought hadn't exactly left them with warm and fuzzy feelings, so Rachel had changed the subject, asking about Chandler's childhood.

She had known him closely for over five years now, but had realised that she didn't know much about his life prior to them meeting. She knew some; the divorce, the hell his parents had put him through, things like that. But there were other things she didn't know, and he told her. She, in turn, had shared her deepest, darkest secrets. It had been a bit like they were having a teenage slumber party, she had thought at the time.

Rachel yawned once again, pouring herself a glass of water. Monica was nowhere to be seen, but her bedroom door was shut, so Rachel assumed she had gone to bed.

Monica had been quiet throughout the entire day, which had surprised Rachel, to say the least. She had never been known for being quiet, least of all during times like these. Rachel frowned. Something was obviously wrong with her. Anytime Monica was quiet, just like Chandler, there was something wrong with her.

Rachel crossed the room and knocked on the door gently.

"Mon?" she called.

"Yeah?" Monica answered a moment later, her voice sounding thick and strange.

"I'm coming in, okay?" Rachel didn't wait for an answer; she opened the door and walked in. "Oh Mon, what's wrong?"

Monica was sitting on her bed, her legs pulled up underneath her chin. She had tears running down her face.

"Nothing, I'm fine," Monica answered quickly, wiping the tears away. Rachel walked over and sat down next to her.

"No, you're not, you're crying."

"It's just…I-I'm really," Monica stammered.

"Worried?" Rachel supplied. Monica shook her head.

"No…well, yes, of course I am. But it's something else."

"What?" Rachel asked gently. Monica took a deep breath, then looked Rachel square in the eye.

"I'm in love with him Rach," she said softly. Rachel frowned.

"Who?"

"Chandler!" Monica exclaimed. "I love him! I have for a while."

"Oh!" Rachel's frown grew deeper. "Does he know?"

"God no!" Monica said loudly, shaking her head violently. "I don't want him to! It would change everything!"

"Well, yes, but maybe for the better," Rachel said after a moment.

"What do you mean?" Monica asked tiredly.

"Mon, have you ever considered the possibility that Chandler might feel the same way?"

Monica shook her head once again. "No, he doesn't. I know he doesn't. I can read Chandler really well; I know when he has feelings for someone. Maybe in a different universe he might have felt something for me, but not in this one. I'm just a friend to him." Monica's voice was barely a whisper, and the tears were threatening to fall once again. Rachel's heart broke for her.

"Maybe you should talk to him anyway? There is still a chance, you know," she said softly.

"No, I can't talk to him about this, it's too hard. He has enough on his plate at the moment," Monica murmured. "Besides, he's in love with someone else."

"Who?" Rachel asked, surprised. "Kathy? He's still in love with Kathy?" Rachel felt a bolt of anger shoot through her at the thought of Kathy. She had been so angry with Kathy after what she had done to Chandler. Sure, Chandler had jumped to the wrong conclusion and assumed that she had been having an affair, but that didn't give her the right to actually have an affair. They had, after all, still been dating.

"No, it's not Kathy…that bitch." Rachel smiled slightly. Apparently Monica shared her view on the woman.

"Is it Janice?" she asked in horror. Monica let out a short laugh.

"No!" she exclaimed. "God, could you imagine?"

"Well, then who is it?"

"Rachel, you are so blind," Monica said softly, smiling at her friend. Rachel frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"Chandler's in love with you."

It was Rachel's turn to let out a laugh.

"Very funny, Mon."

"I'm serious Rach. Chandler is in love with you! I don't know if he knows it yet, but he is head over heels in love with you!" Monica insisted. "Why do you think he confides in you about everything? Or is comforted when you touch him? Why do you think he watches you when he doesn't think anyone is looking?"

Rachel's brow furrowed. She had caught him on many occasions, staring at her. That had been even before the dreams had started.

"Oh my god," Rachel whispered. Monica was right. Chandler loved her.

"He has loved you for a long time Rachel," Monica said softly. "That's why I can't talk to him."

"I-I don't know what to say…you think he doesn't know?"

"I'm sure he doesn't. Chandler may be smart in every other aspect, but when it comes to love, he's clueless. You know that as well as I do."

Rachel smiled. She did know that. How many times had she sat there, waiting for Chandler to realise that he was interested in a girl? She had lost count.

"He's a lot like a certain best friend I know," Monica mused. Rachel's head whipped around.

"What?" she exclaimed. Monica rolled her eyes.

"Oh, for god sakes Rach, do I have to explain everything to you!"

"You think I'm in love with Chandler?" Rachel hissed.

"No, I know you're in love with Chandler. Jeez Rach, it's so obvious that Ben could figure it out!" Monica leaned forward, a smile on her face. "Chandler's not the only one who looks when he thinks no one knows. I've lost count how many times I've caught you looking."

Rachel stared at Monica, a bewildered look on her face. Did she love Chandler? Sure, she looked sometimes, Chandler was adorable, but she had always thought that was the extent of it. Chandler was cute; anyone could see that. But here Monica was, telling her she was in love with him. Did she love him?

"You're right," Rachel whispered. "I think I do love him."

Monica nodded, a slightly smug look on her face. "I told you. Now, get to bed; I'm sure we have a big day tomorrow, what with explaining to our bosses exactly why we didn't go to work today."

"Tomorrow is a Saturday," Rachel said absentmindedly.

"Yeah, we'll just because you don't have to work on weekends, doesn't mean that I don't. Now, scoot."

Rachel stood up and made her way to the door.

"I'm sorry Monica," she whispered.

"For what?"

"That Chandler doesn't love you…I'm sorry." Monica shrugged, a sad look on her face.

"I've had to deal with that fact for a long time Rach. And I don't blame you. No one can choose who they love," she said simply. Rachel nodded.

"Goodnight," she said softly and left the room.

"Night," Monica called. She got up and closed the door behind Rachel. Once she was certain that Rachel was out of earshot, she started crying again.

No one can choose who they love.

She just wished that Chandler had chosen differently.