alright, first and formost, i have to say that i revamped the last chapter and changed a couple of things (the amount of time Chandler had been unconcious for) because i figured it out to be about 10pm when the Doctor came in, and i didnt think that seemed right! So i changed it. Also have to apoligise to anybody with a medical degree: i did some research for this chapter, but it is highly likely that i got something wrong, so if you do see something a bit off, just smile and nod okay! Also have to apoligise to any 'Citizen Kane' and golf fans because...we'll you will see! I have never personally seen citizen kane, ive just heard people talk about it, and it was the first movie that popped into my head! So please enjoy this chap, its pretty long! and please read and review!

Dont own friends/characters/actors but you remember the hairy guy in 'the kid'? the one with Matt Perry eyes? his my boyfriend


Throughout his life, there had been many things that Chandler hadn't believed in.

He hadn't believed in precognition, nor did he believe in the paranormal. Chandler also had his doubts about reincarnation, although he did believe in God.

Another thing that he had never believed in was that time could be stopped. It had never seemed plausible to him, although he had seen it done many times on movies and TV, which according to Joey made it real. But to Chandler, time being altered in any way seemed against physics.

He had never believed that time could stop.

Until that day.

When Dr Phillips had uttered those words, Chandler had suddenly found himself a believer. It shouldn't have surprised him – he hadn't believed in precognition, but it was real – but it did. When those words were said, Chandler had felt the world stop. It lasted only a second, but he had felt it. Time then began once again, only it was a lot slower then usual.

Rachel's gasp seemed to last for an eternity. Monica's hand took forever to reach up and cover her mouth in shock. The colour took a lifetime to drain from Ross and Phoebe's faces. And Joey's hand tightened painfully on Chandler's shoulder for what felt like a millennium.

"W-What?" Chandler whispered, and time returned to normal.

"A brain tumour?" Ross asked in horror, though he knew he shouldn't have been that shocked. While in the waiting room, his brain had tried to tell him this; that it seemed most likely. Ross had ignored his brain, not wanting to hear it. It wasn't true. But now that it was coming from someone else's mouth, he knew that it was true. Chandler had a brain tumour.

"Yes. I'm sorry," Dr Phillip's said softly.

"W-What does this mean? I mean…can it be removed?" Ross spoke up after a long silence. He hadn't been sure if he could speak again, but when he realised that no one else was going to, he knew he had to. Dr Phillip's pursed her lips together grimly.

"I'm afraid not," she said in a quiet voice. Joey's head whipped up.

"What?" he hissed.

"The tumour is located in a place in Chandler's brain that is basically impossible to perform surgery on. If we did attempt it, Chandler would most likely be left in a vegetated state, or dead," the doctor explained. "We can't risk that happening."

"What about…radiation or chemotherapy?" Monica asked after a moment.

"There are many different types of brain tumours, and some can be treated with radiation therapy, while others cannot. Unfortunately Chandler's cannot be treated."

"So, there is nothing you can do? You're just gonna let him…" Joey trailed off, unable to complete the sentence.

"Chandler has a Grade 1 Astrocytoma tumour. Patients with these types of tumours have been known to live for 30 years, or more, following diagnosis."

"So, he's got a while?" Ross asked.

"Well, not all patients last that long; every one is different. Chandler could have another 30 years, or could only have 30 days. But the tumour is still quite small, so he most likely wont be going anywhere for a while," Dr Phillips said confidently.

"And this Astrocytoma, what does it cause?" Ross questioned, wanting to learn as much as possible. He needed to know this; they all did.

"The one symptom that it most commonly exhibits is the onset of epileptic seizures. That is caused by the tumour irritating the surrounding brain tissue. We can treat you for that, give you some pills to take, but it doesn't guarantee that you won't have another seizure. It also causes headaches, blood noses, and can sometimes lead to paralysis, personality changes, coma and death." Chandler flinched at her words, and Joey's grip once again tightened on his shoulder. "But because your tumour is still small, you should only expect headaches and blood noses for quite a while."

"And…and the dreams?" Phoebe asked softly. Dr Phillips nodded.

"There have been cases reported where brain tumours have resulted in some interesting side effects; precognition has been reported as one. There are many doctor's who do not believe in the special abilities that the patients sometimes exhibit. I do, and I believe that you're dreams are real Chandler."

Chandler opened his mouth to answer, then shut it again. He had no idea what to say. Dr Phillips seemed to understand.

"I will leave you too it. I'll be back tomorrow morning," she said, smiling kindly as she headed to the door. She paused in the doorway. "Try to look on the bright side. You are very lucky that it wasn't something much worse. But for what it's worth, I am sorry."

"Thankyou," Chandler whispered. Dr Phillips smiled, and then left the room. There was a long silence, everyone taking the time to process the information.

"At least we know what causes the dreams," Chandler said at last. A second later a sob escaped his lips. Joey gently pulled Chandler into his arms, as the tears came. Rachel leaned forward and hugged them both. Monica followed next. Soon, Chandler was in the middle of a group hug, his body shaking with sobs.

"We're here for you Chandler," Monica whispered in his ear. "What ever you need." "I know," Chandler whimpered. "Thankyou."

The cab ride home was silent; everyone lost in their thoughts. They hadn't wanted to leave the hospital, but visiting hours had been over and as much as they tried to get past the rules, they had eventually been reminded that they were no more special then any of the other visitors in the hospital. So they had reluctantly left Chandler, each offering words of support and promising they would be back in the morning. Phoebe had taken a different cab home, as she lived away from the rest. She had offered to come and stay with Joey, so he wouldn't be alone in the apartment, but Joey had declined, although he was grateful at the offer.

Ross had parted ways with the rest of them on the street, returning to his apartment reluctantly. The girls and Joey had slowly made their way upstairs, exhausted by the day it had become. And she had thought it was going to be a good day, Rachel thought sardonically as they reached their hallway.

"Well….goodnight," Joey said softly after a long, awkward silence.

"Joey…" Rachel started.

"Yeah?"

"You want us to come in? Or do you maybe want to come over?" Rachel asked softly. Joey shook his head, smiling slightly.

"Nah, I think I might just go to bed. It's been a long day," he murmured. The girls nodded. "Night."

"Night Joey," they called as he shut the door behind him. He walked over to the counter, pouring himself a glass of water. A brain tumour. A fucking brain tumour. Joey couldn't believe it. He raised the glass to his lips, thinking of early that morning, when he had rushed into Chandler's room to wake him. That seemed like an eternity ago, but it had only been around eighteen hours. Joey wanted so much for the dreams to be the only problem; for the brain tumour to not be real. Least the dreams couldn't kill his best friend. They could make him lose his mind though, Joey thought, furious with the whole situation. He wanted everything to be back to normal; for Chandler to go to work, be bored senseless then come home and watch Baywatch with Joey. He wanted Chandler to make them laugh; pay Joey out for wearing an Elf costume, or for being on a STD poster. He wanted the old Chandler back. Not the one they had now. Not the sick, distressed and pained person their friend had turned into; a shadow of his former self.

Lie to me

Joey's hand tightened on the glass.

Tell me that it's going to be okay

"Son of a bitch!" he screamed, hurling the glass against the wall above the sink. It shattered into a million pieces, showering the sink with bits of glass. Joey sunk to the floor, and started to cry. This time though, it wasn't silent.

Rachel heard Joey's scream and started back towards the door. Monica stopped her, gently grabbing her arm.

"I think he just needs a bit of time by himself," she said softly. Rachel shook her head.

"What he needs is a healthy Chandler," she snapped. "What he needs is for Chandler to be sitting in the chair next to him, ogling Yasmine Bleeth! The one thing he doesn't need is a bit of time by his self Monica!" Rachel's voice had risen to full volume by the end of her outburst, and she stood there glaring daggers at her best friend.

"Rach, I know you're upset, but yelling at me isn't going to help," Monica said after a moment's silence.

"Are you sure about that! Because it's making me feel a lot better!" Rachel screamed. "Jesus Mon, this is all you're fault!"

"How is it my fault!" Monica exclaimed, growing angry.

"Because!" Rachel shrieked. "Because you had to go and tell me that I was in love with him! I would never have felt this bad if you hadn't told me that!"

"You selfish bitch," Monica hissed. "Do you think you are the only one that feels that way! You know I love him too! Don't you dare go blaming this on me, because I feel just as bad as you! So does Joey, Ross and Phoebe. And I can only imagine what Chandler is going through at the moment!" Monica walked forward and jabbed Rachel in the chest. "You are not a spoilt little princess anymore Rachel. You walked away from Daddy's care and realised that the world does not revolve around you! So stop acting like does!"

Monica stood in Rachel's personal space, a glare barely concealing the hurt look on her face. Rachel's anger faded away, and suddenly she felt exhausted.

"I'm sorry Mon," she whispered. "It's just…Jesus, a brain tumour? I mean, I know the doctor said that he will most likely live a long and healthy life, but what if she's wrong? What if he dies? Or-or if he gets sick or changes? I don't know if I could cope with that…there I go again, worrying about myself. I am a selfish bitch."

"No, Rach, you're not," Monica said softly. "You're just human."

"I know that everyone is worried; just as much as me. But, it just scares me," Rachel admitted.

"It scares me too," Monica told her. Rachel bit her lip, trying to fight back tears.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," she apologised tearfully. "I just needed someone to blame, and you were there." Monica sighed and pulled Rachel into a tight hug.

"Oh sweetie," she murmured.

"It's just not fair," Rachel whimpered, the tears spilling over.

"I know," Monica said softly. "I know."


Rachel sighed, glancing over at Chandler as they walked up the stairs. Joey walked with them, but the others had gone grocery shopping. Monica was planning a nice welcome home dinner for Chandler. Dr Phillips had wanted to keep him in hospital for a couple more days – to keep an eye on him - but Chandler had been anxious to get out of there. When the group had returned that morning, he had continued to voice his unhappiness at staying in the hospital. After a couple of hours, Ross had gone to talk to Dr Phillips. She hadn't been happy, but admitted there was no real reason for Chandler to stay there. So she had checked him over thoroughly and discharged him, but not before making sure that he would be back for a check-up soon.

The group had been overjoyed to have him home, but now Rachel was beginning to doubt his decision. What if Chandler had another seizure? Or some other horrible thing happened to him? It would be better if he was in the hospital where they could help him quickly.

"Chandler…" Rachel began nervously.

"If something happens; it happens," Chandler interrupted her gently, knowing exactly what she was going to say. "I had to come home some time Rach; they can't watch over me forever."

"I know," she said softly as they approached the door to Apartment 20. "And don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're home, I'm just worried." Chandler smiled, touching her hand affectionately as they walked inside.

"Did you have a dream last night?" Joey asked hesitantly as they sat down on the couch.

"Yes," Chandler said shortly, then smiled shakily at his best friend. "I could have used you last night Joe. The nurse that woke me up just wasn't as comforting."

Joey smiled back, although it was just as shaky as Chandlers.

"About Nicole again?" Rachel questioned softly. Chandler nodded.

"Yeah, no new ones…thank god," he murmured.

"I called your boss sweetie. He said to take as much time as you needed. Said that they would get by without you, but it would be a struggle!" Rachel said, laughing lightly. Chandler smirked.

"Least I won't have to go back there for a while. That's looking on the bright side, isn't it?"

"Oh yeah! Something to keep you upbeat!" Joey exclaimed. Chandler laughed.

"Thanks you guys. You know, for everything."

"You don't have to thank us Chandler," Rachel told him.

"No, but I want to," Chandler said seriously. "If it wasn't for you guys, I would be a total mess." Rachel patted his hand gently.

"You're welcome."

The day passed quietly, with the group doing whatever they could to keep Chandler amused while Monica cooked dinner. She served lasagne, and as much as he usually loved her meals, Chandler couldn't eat more then a few mouthfuls. He felt a little queasy, most likely an after-effect of the crazy drugs. Monica had smiled and told him it was okay, but he still felt horrible. She had spent hours making it just for him.

"Thankyou for dinner," Chandler said just before he and Joey were about to leave.

"You already said that," Monica said, laughing lightly. Chandler shrugged.

"Yeah, I know, I just wanted to say it again. It was great…what I had of it."

"Hey, it will always be there tomorrow for you to eat," Monica reminded him. Chandler smiled, reaching over to hug her firmly.

"I look forward to it," he said in her ear. Monica kissed his cheek quickly, and pulled away, a troubled look suddenly covering her face. Chandler frowned.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing, I was just thinking," she answered softly. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," Chandler agreed. "Night."

"Night," she said hastily, turning towards the sink. Chandler's frown grew deeper, but he didn't say anymore.

"You ready man?" Joey called from the door.

"Yeah," Chandler called back. Monica watched him walk away, breathing a sigh of relief. Stupid, she berated herself. She had been doing a good job getting over him, but all of a sudden - with a simple hug - her feelings had come screaming back. She had nearly told him how she felt, but had stopped herself just in time. It would only complicate things, she thought as she watched Rachel walk over to Chandler.

"Have a good day?" Rachel asked gently. Chandler nodded, smiling slightly.

"Yeah, under the circumstances," he replied. "It helped take my mind off of things."

"That was the idea," Joey admitted. Chandler's smile grew wider.

"I kinda figured."

"Okay, I'll see you boys tomorrow," Rachel said brightly. "Sweet dreams!"

"If only," Chandler muttered, looking slightly disturbed.

"I so have to stop saying that," Rachel scolded herself.

"It's okay." Chandler leaned over and kissed her cheek gently. "Night."

"Night," Rachel said softly, watching them walk out. She closed the door behind them, then smacked her head with her hand. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!"

"You're telling me," Monica muttered, walking over.

"What?" Rachel asked, irritated.

"Oh, not you, me," Monica explained. "Well, you are stupid too, but…oh, I don't know. I'm going to bed. Good night." Rachel was completely baffled as to what Monica was talking about, but let it slide.

"Sweet dreams," she called after her friend. "I mean…damnit!"


Chandler sighed in frustration, rolling over once more. The clock read 2:36am, and the red numbers seemed to be mocking him. He was so tired; the few hours of blissful unconsciousness he had endured yesterday, - and the drug induced nap he had enjoyed later - had done nothing to curb his exhaustion. He could hear Joey snoring in the other room – the Queen could probably hear him from England – and he was glad that his best friend was getting some rest. Chandler knew that his friend's had been basically insomniac for the past few nights, and it annoyed him that he had been the cause of that. He hated his friends worrying over him; they hadn't asked for this.

Neither had he, but still. Chandler groaned, rubbing his face tiredly. He still couldn't believe it. There was some thing growing in his brain, something that was slowly killing him. That thought both disturbed and angered him. He definitely hadn't asked for this. God, what was he going to tell his parents? They weren't close, but he was sure that they would definitely not just smile and nod when they found out their only son could drop dead at any moment. Chandler rolled his eyes. Thinking about that wouldn't get him any closer to sleep. He forced his brain – and the thing attached to it – to focus on something else. Chandler thought about golf and the movie Citizen Kane, the two things that bored him more than anything. After a while, he realised he wasn't going to bore himself to sleep, and he thought about something else. His friends entered his mind, and he smiled. He was so lucky to have them, he thought as he yawned. His eyes slowly shut, and he found his thought's lingering on Rachel.

She was the last thing on his mind as he finally drifted off to sleep.