Disclaimer: Nothing but my words are mine. "Hero" is by Mariah Carey.
Buffy P.O.V.:
I can feel my heart dropping when I saw Faith collapse in front of me. I came upstairs to ask her to go patrolling with me. I had a lot of frustration that I had to let out and I wanted to bring her along so I could talk to her. Instead I get to watch my fellow slayer, my love no less, collapse in front of me because she decided to try suicide for a change. I know it's my fault. I drove her to this point. If I just told her how I felt instead of releasing my tension by fucking Spike, she wouldn't be like this right now. I know only two people that can save her now.
"WILLOW! GILES1 HELP ME!" I scream at the top of my lungs. I can hear everyone rushing towards my room. My tears are falling freely as I look at my Faith. Willow and Giles run into the room to see me crying with Faith in my lap.
I look up at them and I whisper, "Save her please. Don't let her die on me now."
Willow and Giles exchange a look and they both leave in a hurry to get the med kit and spell book. I can hear people whispering outside my room talking about what they think could have happened to make the older Scoobies run around in a hurry. I am sitting here not really paying attention to anything around me. The only thing I could do is shakily stroke Faith's hair, my nerves are out of control and I need to focus on something other than my thoughts.
Willow and Giles come back with the materials needed to help my goddess. Giles is wrapping Faith's arm so that Willow won't have to look at it anymore. Willow is chanting the words to the healing spell and I look at Faith waiting for the spell to work. I feel Willows hand on my shoulder when she finishes the spell. I look up at her and she starts to talk, but I can barely hear her.
"Buffy, she'll be okay. She just lost a lot of blood. She is sleeping now; she should be fine after a few hours of rest." Willow was talking with a sad, defeated voice.
"Buffy, you should put her into your bed now. You look exhausted; you should get some sleep too." Giles is going all fatherly on me, but I can barely even acknowledge him.
"Yes, Yes... okay." I say looking back down at Faith. "Of course she needs sleep."
Willow and Giles exchange another look that they think I can't see. Willow walks closer to me and hugs me trying to comfort me. I let her hug me, but I don't respond to it because I don't wanna stop stroking Faith's hair; it was keeping me so calm. Willow helps me to my feet and walks out of the room.
I carefully pick Faith up and lay her down on my bed. I don't wanna sleep 'cuz I wanna be the one she sees when she wakes up. Giles is still in the room. I know he wants me to sleep, but he knows that I won't until I make sure she is okay. He brings me a chair from my desk and I smile at him gratefully. Before I sit down he hugs me and takes one last look at Faith before he leaves.
I sit down and look at Faith wondering why she had to do this now. I just needed a little bit of time. Spike knows I am pinning for her, he even told me that he won't let me lose her just to get some release. So here I am looking at her wishing that I could have told her before so that she wouldn't be where she is right now.
I know Willow is seeking comfort from Kennedy right now. She had to do this once before so it is probably a stroll down memory lane for her. I know it is for me. If I knew I scared everyone this badly I wouldn't have tried to commit suicide. Willow wasn't the one to find me though. My darling sister did. I feel bad now, because now I know how she felt. She walked into my room when I was going to end it. Funny thing is that I tried to end it because she wasn't here. My Faith wasn't there to help me. She wasn't there to share the burden with me. She was the only one that ever understood what I had to go through. And I basically put her where she is now.
I am stroking her hair now, watching her sleep peacefully. She has a small smile on her face, so I guess it's a good dream. I start to think of how Dawn handled my suicide attempt when I had to be put in my bed. She sung to me. It was Mariah Carey's "Hero". It seems so perfect for what happened. I softly hum the beginning of the song and then sing it softly to Faith.
"There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away"
I start to stroke her cheek with tears falling from my eyes with each memory of how Dawn helped pull me back into life.
"And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you"
I feel her lean into the warm of my hand. I smile down at her and continue to sing to her. I still see Dawn's face when I sing this song. She looked so sad and defeated. She knew I was that close to falling over the edge. I can hear her outside the room; I am surprised she didn't come in earlier. Then again she was out on a supply run with Xander for the house. I hear my door opening and I know it is her.
"It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear"
She is standing beside me now; she put her hand on my shoulder telling me she is here for me. I look up at her and smile my sad little smile. She smiles back with a small sad smile too. I whisper "I'm sorry I did this to you. I know how you feel now." She doesn't say anything but she hugs me close to her and I can feel her tears. We both sing together to Faith.
"And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you"
I move from my seat and move Faith into a semi sitting position. I move behind her and let her lay against me so she can feel my presence. Dawn also did this to me. It made me feel needed here. Dawn sits in my seat with one hand holding my hand and the other holding Faith's.
"Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone
Tear them away, hey yeah
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time
You'll find the way"
I know I am falling asleep now, 'cuz Faith is just so warm and I feel at peace here. I know Dawn can see it on my face. I sink slowly into the warm darkness of sleep. I can hear Dawn pulling the covers over us. I open my eyes one last time to smile at my sister and then I feel myself giving away to the blackness. The only thing I hear is Dawn's voice singing the last part to the song.
"And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you"
Should I continue?
Buffy P.O.V.:
I can feel my heart dropping when I saw Faith collapse in front of me. I came upstairs to ask her to go patrolling with me. I had a lot of frustration that I had to let out and I wanted to bring her along so I could talk to her. Instead I get to watch my fellow slayer, my love no less, collapse in front of me because she decided to try suicide for a change. I know it's my fault. I drove her to this point. If I just told her how I felt instead of releasing my tension by fucking Spike, she wouldn't be like this right now. I know only two people that can save her now.
"WILLOW! GILES1 HELP ME!" I scream at the top of my lungs. I can hear everyone rushing towards my room. My tears are falling freely as I look at my Faith. Willow and Giles run into the room to see me crying with Faith in my lap.
I look up at them and I whisper, "Save her please. Don't let her die on me now."
Willow and Giles exchange a look and they both leave in a hurry to get the med kit and spell book. I can hear people whispering outside my room talking about what they think could have happened to make the older Scoobies run around in a hurry. I am sitting here not really paying attention to anything around me. The only thing I could do is shakily stroke Faith's hair, my nerves are out of control and I need to focus on something other than my thoughts.
Willow and Giles come back with the materials needed to help my goddess. Giles is wrapping Faith's arm so that Willow won't have to look at it anymore. Willow is chanting the words to the healing spell and I look at Faith waiting for the spell to work. I feel Willows hand on my shoulder when she finishes the spell. I look up at her and she starts to talk, but I can barely hear her.
"Buffy, she'll be okay. She just lost a lot of blood. She is sleeping now; she should be fine after a few hours of rest." Willow was talking with a sad, defeated voice.
"Buffy, you should put her into your bed now. You look exhausted; you should get some sleep too." Giles is going all fatherly on me, but I can barely even acknowledge him.
"Yes, Yes... okay." I say looking back down at Faith. "Of course she needs sleep."
Willow and Giles exchange another look that they think I can't see. Willow walks closer to me and hugs me trying to comfort me. I let her hug me, but I don't respond to it because I don't wanna stop stroking Faith's hair; it was keeping me so calm. Willow helps me to my feet and walks out of the room.
I carefully pick Faith up and lay her down on my bed. I don't wanna sleep 'cuz I wanna be the one she sees when she wakes up. Giles is still in the room. I know he wants me to sleep, but he knows that I won't until I make sure she is okay. He brings me a chair from my desk and I smile at him gratefully. Before I sit down he hugs me and takes one last look at Faith before he leaves.
I sit down and look at Faith wondering why she had to do this now. I just needed a little bit of time. Spike knows I am pinning for her, he even told me that he won't let me lose her just to get some release. So here I am looking at her wishing that I could have told her before so that she wouldn't be where she is right now.
I know Willow is seeking comfort from Kennedy right now. She had to do this once before so it is probably a stroll down memory lane for her. I know it is for me. If I knew I scared everyone this badly I wouldn't have tried to commit suicide. Willow wasn't the one to find me though. My darling sister did. I feel bad now, because now I know how she felt. She walked into my room when I was going to end it. Funny thing is that I tried to end it because she wasn't here. My Faith wasn't there to help me. She wasn't there to share the burden with me. She was the only one that ever understood what I had to go through. And I basically put her where she is now.
I am stroking her hair now, watching her sleep peacefully. She has a small smile on her face, so I guess it's a good dream. I start to think of how Dawn handled my suicide attempt when I had to be put in my bed. She sung to me. It was Mariah Carey's "Hero". It seems so perfect for what happened. I softly hum the beginning of the song and then sing it softly to Faith.
"There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away"
I start to stroke her cheek with tears falling from my eyes with each memory of how Dawn helped pull me back into life.
"And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you"
I feel her lean into the warm of my hand. I smile down at her and continue to sing to her. I still see Dawn's face when I sing this song. She looked so sad and defeated. She knew I was that close to falling over the edge. I can hear her outside the room; I am surprised she didn't come in earlier. Then again she was out on a supply run with Xander for the house. I hear my door opening and I know it is her.
"It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear"
She is standing beside me now; she put her hand on my shoulder telling me she is here for me. I look up at her and smile my sad little smile. She smiles back with a small sad smile too. I whisper "I'm sorry I did this to you. I know how you feel now." She doesn't say anything but she hugs me close to her and I can feel her tears. We both sing together to Faith.
"And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you"
I move from my seat and move Faith into a semi sitting position. I move behind her and let her lay against me so she can feel my presence. Dawn also did this to me. It made me feel needed here. Dawn sits in my seat with one hand holding my hand and the other holding Faith's.
"Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone
Tear them away, hey yeah
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time
You'll find the way"
I know I am falling asleep now, 'cuz Faith is just so warm and I feel at peace here. I know Dawn can see it on my face. I sink slowly into the warm darkness of sleep. I can hear Dawn pulling the covers over us. I open my eyes one last time to smile at my sister and then I feel myself giving away to the blackness. The only thing I hear is Dawn's voice singing the last part to the song.
"And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you"
Should I continue?
