:FB's MERGE - I am so honoured that I'm one of the topics of conversation there. It seems I have become a legend. Thank you everybody. This chapter is dedicated to all of my fans on the Internet.

Um… naughty stuff appears. It's not often I write like that! But it's tame-ish. You've been warned. :

TOW the Auction

Chapter 5

Monica and Chandler arrived outside Michelle's house shortly after 8pm.

"I still can't believe we're doing this," Chandler muttered at Monica as she knocked the door.

"Just smile and act natural," Monica advised, squeezing his hand.

"Yeah…sure…natural," Chandler coughed nervously as the door opened.

"Monica! Chandler!" Richard greeted them enthusiastically, "You've finally arrived. Come in!"

Monica gave Richard a huge grin and walked in to the hallway, dragging Chandler from behind.

"Let me take your coats," Richard took Chandler's coat and then helped Monica get out of hers. He pointed to a room on the left of the hallway. "The party has just got started. Ross and your parents are already here Mon."

"Thank-you," Monica smiled sweetly at Richard, gripping Chandler's hand in the most obvious way she could manage.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Go in and enjoy the fun!" Richard pushed Monica and Chandler towards the room just as the doorbell rang. "Ahh, excuse me for one second…" he smiled apologetically at them and rushed away.

"He didn't even notice!" Monica exclaimed, turning to Chandler in shock.

"Well, he is busy," Chandler told her, looking around the room they had just entered.

"Yes but I was practically drooling all over you!" Monica pointed out, "I just don't understand it…what do you think?"

Chandler grabbed a cocktail from a nearby buffet table and downed it in one gulp. "I suppose he's so used to seeing us together as friends it would never occur to him to think of us anything more." He replied.

Monica arched an eyebrow. "That cocktail had pure vodka in it I think…"

"I know." Chandler grinned at her, "You want one?"

"No," Monica said firmly, snatching away another glass Chandler was about to drink. "We need to stay focused."

"Why are we doing this again?" Chandler complained.

"We are doing this so I can prove to Richard that I'm over him." Monica reminded him. "How many more times do I have to tell you?"

"At least 20," Ross remarked as he walked over to them. He shook his head. "I can't believe you guys are doing this. You're taking this whole 'slave' thing a little too far."

"Oh believe me when I say I agree with you." Chandler looked at him sincerely.

Ross snorted. "You get to kiss my sister in a situation where it is impossible for me to kill you. You've just won the lottery my friend." He stared steely eyed at Chandler. "No tongues, got it?"

Chandler swallowed hard, remembering what had happened in Monica's apartment earlier that day. "Yeah, sure, whatever you say."

Monica narrowed her eyes at her brother. "I think Chandler and I are both old enough to decide for ourselves."

"Oh boy…is this going to be a fun night." Ross muttered, walking away.


On the other side of the room, Phoebe, Rachel and Joey were standing by the patio doors.

"How's Janice doing?" Rachel asked Joey teasingly.

"Um…well…she's ok." Joey said absentmindedly, picking at his plate full of food.

"I bet she's really putting you through it," Phoebe said sympathetically.

"Yeah…yeah she is." Joey continued to avoid eye contact with the girls. "Hey, do you reckon this pizza is ok?" He asked quickly, lifting up a slice.

Rachel looked at him closely. "Joey Tribbiani…your cheeks are red. Is there something you're not revealing to us?"

Joey turned redder. "No no. Janice is really putting me through it. Wow…what a day." He faked a yawn. "I am so tired."

"I'm sure." Rachel said sceptically, exchanging a quick glance with Phoebe.

Joey pulled nervously at his tie before pointing across the room. "Here's your waiter Phoebs!." He cried.

Phoebe grinned as Mike walked over with a plate full of food. "This is for the most beautiful woman in the room tonight." He said, bowing.

Phoebe giggled. "Thank you, my dear slave."

"It's my pleasure." Mike said, grinning.

"Hmm serving food, that's not a bad idea." Rachel murmured, looking thoughtfully over at Ross.


"Ok, here's Richard walking over to us right now," Monica whispered over to Chandler a while later. "Remember…be convincing."

Chandler casually draped an arm over Monica's shoulder and smiled at Richard. "Hey man, how's it going?"

Richard smiled at the pair. "Michelle is thrilled…and slightly drunk."

Monica laughed and cuddled up to Chandler. "That's to be expected."

"Um…yeah…" Richard glanced to and from Monica and Chandler and cleared his throat. "Um…Chandler? Could I have a word please?"

Chandler widened his eyes and glanced at Monica. She was mouthing, 'go on."

He followed Richard out into the gloomy, dark-lit garden and looked at him questioningly.

"I couldn't help noticing…you and Monica…" Richard stuttered.

"Um…yeah…I guess I should have told you that." Chandler mumbled.

"Is it serious?"

"Er…yes, yes I suppose it is." Chandler was suddenly beginning to feel nervous with the questions being thrown at him.

"Then I'm very happy for you…a little surprised maybe…but happy."

Chandler frowned a little. What was it with everybody being so sceptical about this convincing 'relationship' with Monica? Was it that repulsive to see them together?

"Um…surprising?" he now asked casually, "what do you mean?"

Richard laughed shortly. "Oh come on Chandler…"

" 'Come on' what?" Now Chandler really wanted to know what was wrong with the 'idea' of him and Monica.

"Look Chandler, I really like you and all, I think you're great but…you're not really Monica's type."

"How do you know that?" Suddenly, Chandler felt so annoyed at getting his pride trodden on that he forgot he wasn't Monica's boyfriend. "Monica and I are fine…we're the perfect couple!"

Richard stepped back from Chandler and lifted up his hands. "Hey, calm down man. I never said you wasn't the perfect couple…it's just not obvious to the whole world, that's all."

"Well, let's make it obvious, shall we?" Chandler snapped, striding back into the house.

He located Monica by the buffet table with Joey and walked over to her quickly, determination spreading through him.

"Hey Chand—"Monica was cut off as Chandler grabbed her around the waist, pulled her towards him and planted a deep, passionate kiss right on her lips.

Joey's mouth dropped open.

Chandler pulled back, allowing both him and Monica to breathe.

"What…why…?" Monica stuttered, a blush creeping into her cheeks.

"I'm proving a point to someone, that's all." Chandler said, darting a triumphant look at Richard.

Monica followed the direction of his gaze and grinned. "Oh…I see." She said. She threw her arms around Chandler's neck and returned the kiss just as passionately.

"I'm really destined not to eat tonight," Joey groaned, looking away from the pair in disgust.


A while later and Chandler rushed to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He leaned against the wooden framework and sighed.

"What a night…" he muttered.

Now, every time Richard appeared to be staring at the 'couple', Monica would grab Chandler and kiss him passionately for several minutes.

He wasn't complaining about it, but it was tiring him out. And it was frustrating him in many inappropriate ways.

He felt the door being pushed against his back.

"Chandler?" Monica's voice called, "what are you doing? Open the door!"

Chandler rolled his eyes and let Monica walk in.

"Why are you hiding?" she demanded, "we should be embarrassing Richard some more!"

"I just want one little break!"

Monica giggled. "Yeah, I suppose I'm getting a little carried away."

Chandler smiled wryly, "just a tad."

Monica leaned against the door. "Its fun though, isn't it?" she smiled mischievously at him.

"I guess seeing your brother is rather amusing." Chandler grinned, thinking of Ross' disgusted and horror-stricken face.

"I…didn't mean that." Monica smiled shyly at him.

"Oh…I…I…see." Chandler flushed awkwardly.

"I…um…maybe we should get back to the party?" Monica continued quickly.

"Yes, of course!" Chandler said hurriedly, walking over to open the door. Monica leaned forward slightly to move out of the way as Chandler bent to grab the handle. Their foreheads collided.

"Ow!" Monica winced.

"Yes, ow." Chandler rubbed his brow.

They made eye contact. Chandler still had his hand on the door handle, his arm still reached around Monica's waist. He had unwittingly trapped her between him and the door.

"I should move," Monica muttered, never breaking the eye contact.

"You should," Chandler agreed.


The next moment, Monica's lips were on his and he had removed his hand from the handle to her body. They crashed against the door, caught up in a passionate embrace.

"Oh my god you've no idea how much I've wanted to do this tonight." Monica cried as Chandler kissed her lips feverishly. She pulled his body as close to her as she could. They both forgot where they were as the frustration that had been building up in them for the last 24 hours boiled over.

She fumbled with his tie, pulling it over his head and tossing it onto the floor. She helped him undo the buttons on his shirt, neither task going quick enough for them. She captured his lips in a kiss again, letting his tongue dance around in her mouth.

He lifted her dress up and then she undid his pants, pushing them down quickly.

They pushed hard into the woodwork as they both prepared to cross the line.

"Oh my god, Ross, give it a rest…you only served me one drink." a familiar voice cried on the other side of the door.

Monica and Chandler froze. They glanced wide-eyed at the door and then at each other. Monica groaned deeply. "Why now…"

The door handle moved as they heard Rachel try to get in.

"Don't move," Chandler mouthed frantically while pulling up his pants, picking up his tie and doing up the buttons on his shirt. Monica locked the door.

"Oh who locked the door?" Rachel moaned. "We need a place to talk Ross; this is the only private place I can think of."

Chandler dived in the bath, hiding behind the shower curtain. Monica quickly straightened her dress, tidied her hair and prepared to unlock the door again.

"Pull the flush!" Chandler hissed behind the curtain. "It'll be more convincing!"

Monica nodded and pulled the chain on the toilet. She then unlocked the door and gave Rachel and Ross a dazzling smile.

"Hey!" she greatly brightly, "sorry to keep you so long! Don't touch the pizza…" she laughed uncomfortably.

Rachel grimaced. "Geez Monica…too much information." She glanced at Ross. "We need to talk."

"Right…sure!" Monica widened her eyes, thinking of Chandler in the shower. Her brain flashed her back to her father's birthday party two years previously…she just hoped Rachel and Ross really were just going to talk.

She blushed as she thought of what she almost did herself in there…what must Chandler be thinking right now?


"So why have you dragged me in here?" Ross asked, frowning as he watched Rachel check her eye makeup in the mirror.

She turned to face him and sighed. "We kind of left things up in the air at the office today," she explained, "I guess I just wanted to say sorry."

"For what?" Ross asked, confusion spreading all over his face. "You've got every right to be angry with me."

"I didn't need to make an example of you in front of everyone in the office," Rachel pointed out, "No-one goes to the bakery three times in a row." She smiled slightly.

Ross smirked and rolled his eyes. "Tell me something I don't know."

Rachel grinned and smoothed her hair out of her eyes. "So…are we cool?"

"Yeah, we're cool." Ross looked at her hesitantly. "Can we…hug? I miss the hugs…what happened to them?"

"The hugs stopped when we ruined our friendship," Rachel said quietly.

"It wasn't all bad," Ross smiled sadly, "we had good times."

"Yes…we did." Rachel leaned forward and gave him a hug. "I wouldn't go back and change it."

Ross looked at her in surprise. "Really?"

"Well, I really wish we didn't fight so much, and the whole break didn't happen but…" Rachel shrugged, "it was still good. I loved you."

"Me too," Ross said softly.

"I guess there is a part of me that still loves you." Rachel added. She cleared her throat and opened the bathroom door. "You've got the rest of the night off." She said briskly, walking away.

Ross looked at his ex in wonder. She still loved him?


On the other side of the shower curtain, Chandler crouched in the bath, biting his nails nervously.

How did the bathroom get so interesting all of a sudden?

He couldn't help grinning as he heard Ross walk out and shut the door. What a night.

End of Chapter 5

:For rating purposes, I edited Chandler and Monica's steamy scenes. The original was a little more intense lol.