Summary: Syaoran cheated on Sakura and one of Sakura's friends betrayed her. How is Sakura going to react? After leaving her home for seven years has anyone changed? Has Sakura changed?
Disclaimer: All characters that are being used in this story belong to their respective owner(s). Original characters belong to me.
A/N: Yes! This story is finally off hiatus now! Yes clap clap. Now.. If your wondering why I'm updating this.. read my profile page… hmm… oh yes! Before you start reading this chapter, keep in mind that the scene before the first page break is a scene I wrote maybe... Two or a year ago. I believe strongly that my writing style has changed drastically since then (or maybe I'm getting a bit over my head.. LOL) making Sakura's train of thoughts and her personality kind of OOC as you read the chapter. But there are also very good reasons why she (after the first page break) should actually be acting like that (which your about to read so go ahead and read!). I will explain more after the chapter so don't let me hold you from your excitement!
A Dream Without You
Chapter Four
-Altered-
"Tomoyo-chan I'm leaving!" Sakura sobbed.
"What are you talking about Sakura-chan?" The woman asked over the phone calmly not knowing what was going to happen.
Sakura skipped the last two days of school she had in Tomoeda afraid of seeing Syaoran or Lauren there and also afraid to break down and cry. Tomorrow Sakura would be leaving for Kyoto and never to return even though her father said seven years but that doesn't mean that they WILL be returning in seven years. Right now it was night time and in a few hours Sakura would be leaving the town she always loved.
"I'm LEAVING Tomoyo-chan! Like never coming back sort of leaving!" Sakura yelled.
Tomoyo gasped over the phone and there was a pregnant silence.
"Wha-what. Sakura-chan, you c-cant be serious… right?" Tomoyo's voice started to crack on the phone. You could tell she was about to join Sakura.
Tomoyo and Sakura has always been together. They have been best friends from the day when they first saw each other.
Sakura was about to say she wasn't joking until a knock was heard on her door. She knew it was her father, but in her current condition, she wasn't up to answering a simple knock. Especially when it was her father who placed upon Sakura the tragic news of leaving.
Amazingly, when she heard his father's voice call out for her, she didn't hear in his voice anything that gave away that he knew she was crying. But, that still didn't help her feel better.
"Sakura, I've made a mistake. One of my colleagues just confirmed with me that we are not moving to Kyoto. We don't need to."
Sakura stopped her sobbing. She responded stuttering, "R-really?"
Fujitaka's voice rang out cheerfully through the wooden door, "No sweetie! We're moving to South Korea!"
'I knew it was to good to be true!' Sakura thought sadly as she felt tears come into her eyes once more. She heard her father continue; unaware of what his daughter was feeling. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes."
As the despaired Sakura heard her father's steps walk down the stairs, she heard Tomoyo sobbing on the phone. 'She must had heard my Otou-san.' She felt Tomoyo's sadness seep through the phone for she started to cry herself.
"You're not really joking, huh?"
"T-Tomoyo-chan! It's true! My father and I-I have to move to K-Korea b-b-because… b-becaus-"
"Can't your father just go by himself? I mean h-he can technically take care of himself, r-right?" Tomoyo yelled.
Sakura suddenly got angry. "Are you saying I should leave my father alone? TOMOYO he is FAMILY!"
"Gomen nasai. It's just that… I'm never going to see you again and if I do… I don't even know if I'll be there to see you."
"I understand." Sakura continued, "Just don't tell anyone about how I left. Especially Li-san. This is my final request."
There was silence over the two best friends.
"Please Tomoyo-chan. For me?" Sakura asked.
Tomoyo sighed and replied, "Sure. Anything for my best friend." She knew Sakura was smiling a small smile.
"I'll keep in contact with you on the phone or email and you take care of Kero-chan for me. Tell him I love him and say I promise him that I'll bring a whole bunch of sweets when I come back here."
Tomoyo laughed sadly. "Of course Sakura-chan. Of course."
A girl trembled in anger as a boy anxiously tried to get his point across.
"Sakura! Believe me! Lauren forced herself upon me! I wasn't the one who kissed her."
Sakura shook her head, not trusting the words coming out of the chestnut head boy's mouth. 'Does he think I could be deceived by a lie like that? I know Lauren. She would never do something so cruel behind my back. That's just not her!'
She was so addled… addled to the point where she didn't know who to believe. Would she want to have faith in someone whom she just befriended or someone who already passed that level?… someone who already loves her? 'But I should learn to trust Lauren,' Sakura thought deeply. 'That's what friends do! That's how their friendship develops, but would I sacrifice my love for my friend? Someone who I just met? Someone that I think I know? Sakura sighed and replied, "I don't know what to believe, anymore, Syaoran."
Syaoran voice pleaded, "Then believe me!"
The emerald-eyed girl snapped back infuriated, "How am I supposed to do that when I saw Lauren's lips upon yours? Upon the person I love?" She then yelled, letting her anger devour her, "You weren't even resisting her! And this has not even happen once, but twice, Syaoran! Twice I have saw her lips upon yours!" She swallowed hard and whispered harshly, "Twice I had to endure such kind of pain."
Syaoran saw the hurt shine in Sakura's sorrowful emerald eyes. He said hesitantly, thinking of the words to use, "Sakura, it's just when she kisses me, when she's not seducing me, she has this control over me I can't let go of."
Sakura looked at Syaoran, disgusted at his choice of words. Syaoran finally caught on to what she was thinking and he said quickly, "That's not I meant! What I meant was-"
"A control huh," She spat out in question.
"Sakura, listen to m-"
The auburn haired girl laughed bitterly and glared at Syaoran coldly, making him tremble slightly. 'She's never given me a glare like that before…'
"You made your point come across clearer then I expected, Li-san." She spat out his name.
There was a sudden silence until Syaoran spoke calmly, "I would never betray you. I would die a thousand deaths if I did such a thing."
As Syaoran said this, Sakura's icy cold glare gradually softened, but still looking unsure. Syaoran continued, with no falseness in his voice, "The control I was talking about is not what you're thinking, but a possessive, magical control… as if I was her puppet."
Sakura listened and stayed silent, letting Syaoran continue. "Trust me on this? If not, then why did you trust me from the start?"
'Because I loved you.. And I still do.'
There was silence and all they could hear was the falling rain. She spoke ever so softly, her voice almost being unheard by the sound of the piercing raindrops splashing on the concrete sidewalk.
"I trust you."
'Trust my ass,' Sakura thought bitterly at the vivid memory as she slammed her locker door. The echo was swallowed by the sounds of high school students talking and other locker doors slamming.
'I've learned my lesson. I can't trust anyone, but myself. Let Hell be damned if that ever happened again.' Sakura thought as she walked through the crowds of students, trying to get to her first class… Honors Algebra II.
She still couldn't believe it herself that she got into that class. Once she and her dad moved into their house in Seoul, South Korea, they immediately went to seek out a new school for Sakura. Once, Fujitaka enrolled his daughter for the upcoming school year as a freshmen, she was told she had to take a placement test for English, biology, and unfortunately, math. Luckily, she made it through the whole math placement test and was scored 5th highest on the exam. She hated to admit it, but it was one of the many things she thanked Syaoran for. But, that still didn't help the ache inside Sakura's heart. An ache that she hoped that would disappear one day and to never return.
'At least I don't have to deal with that sort of pain again. For now on, things won't be as complicated.' The Japanese girl promised herself as she kept on walking, unconsciously, passing a silver-gray eyes boy, both not knowing that their lives were going to become more complicated than before. But was it for the better or worse?
A month has passed since the new school year has started. Like Sakura promised, she didn't trust anyone, but that did not stop her from making a couple of friends… fine acquaintances. Although they weren't her friends from Tomoeda, she found that they would suffice for the time being. But the more she thought about it, all sight of that thought suddenly flew from her mind. Her new companions were gradually growing on her. She soon found herself talking-but just enough-to a duplicate of her best friend Tomoyo, a story liar like Yamazaki, and so many other characters in her past that she reluctantly left behind. Though the void of missing her friends would never be filled, her new companions were one of the many things-since she moved-that made her feel… feel welcomed. Even if she never told them much about herself, they did not care much… except one girl… a girl that Sakura always hung around with. 'Why the heck do I always hang around her?' She would always ask herself when she was in the presence of her friend… Did she dare to call her that? 'Do I hang around her because she is so cheerful? So innocent? Is it because she reminds me of my previous self?'
"Oh my gosh, Kinomoto! There he is!"
Even if she did remind her of past self, her obsession with guys was a very different story.
Sakura nodded her head, but was only concentrating on eating her lunch. As always, she ignored Rei's rants of how one of the most popular guys in school was hot.
Yes, like most of the female population at school, Sakura also believed Hiwatari Kai was very hot. The way his gray-bluish bangs fell over his cold silver-gray eyes while at the same time contrasting his creamy pale skin flawlessly made a girl melt… especially his muscular body. Even if Sakura thought he was hot, she was one of the very few females who didn't rant just at the site of him; that did not tremble at his deep baritone voice when he's addressing you. No. Sakura's had enough experience with that. One cold-hearted person was enough for her in this lifetime. She could not-would not-allow herself to fall for a boy who was almost the same replica of the future leader of the Li Clan. 'Heck, I wouldn't even converse with a guy like him!'
"Kinomoto, are you okay?"
The emerald eyes girl heard the concern in Rei's voice addressing her and snapped out of her daze. She pulled her eyes from the food in front of her to her Korean friend and unconsciously replied to her in Japanese, "Gomen. Nani?"
Rei looked at Sakura confusingly with her Cinnamon colored eyes asking, "What? I can't understand you… Are you speaking in Japanese?"
Coincidentally, Fujitaka taught Touya and Sakura how to speak Korean when they were young. He felt that they should learn how to speak different languages other than Japanese and English. "You never know when you'll be needing them," Fujitaka always told his children. Surprisingly, learning Korean really paid off… especially in Sakura's point of view. Although, sometimes she mixes up different languages unconsciously, making people look at her in a state of confusion.
It was Sakura's turn to look at Rei weirdly. She replied to Rei in Japanese, not noticing that she was still speaking in that language, "What are you talking about? I said it in pure Ko-" Sakura finally noticed her mistake and unconsciously let out a chuckle, not noticing Rei's pure amazement on her face.
"Y-Your laughing!" Rei stuttered happily with a cheerful smile on her face.
Sakura stopped laughing and replied in Korean with a small smile on her face, "So what were you saying before this little incident happened?"
Rei giggled and Sakura's question and replied, "I asked if you were okay, but I guess you are now." She then decided to change the subject; not knowing that Sakura's slightly lit up face was going to turn cold again. "I still think it's amazing that you have almost the same classes as Hiwatari! You're so lucky! You have Algebra class with him, English, Korean-"
Sakura got up from sitting under one of the school's big trees with an empty lunch bag in her hands. She was sick of Rei always talking about Hiwatari, but mainly because the conversations always lead her to think of another cold bastard. Sakura stopped Rei's nonsense talk agitated, "You have a few classes with him too so stop trying to make a big deal out of it! I mean, he's only a guy. I don't even understand why the heck you talk so highly of him if he's so mean to everyone and including you too!"
If Rei wasn't such a timid person, she would have spoke her mind… that is, if she was thinking. She was so blown away by Sakura's angry response that she was scared. She felt herself tremble under Sakura's cold glare and felt very uneasy. Not only that, but the response also hurt her. How could she say something so unkind? So uncaring? At least she could have said it in a polite, friendly kind of way.
Sure she thought that Hiwatari was a cold person too, but the reason she thought so highly of him was because he was so smart and he tried his best at everything no matter the circumstance. She admired him! But those thoughts were also suddenly gone, leaving her with nothing to back her up… nothing to say to the currently angry Sakura.
A look of pain blushed through Rei's cinnamon eyes. Ironically, it reminded the auburn head girl about them time when the same looked passed her-back then-innocent eyes, which were caused, by not only a guy, but also a girl.
Sakura averted her eyes from the tremulous girl to the cloudless sky, trying to ignore the guiltiness building up inside her. She said coolly, as if nothing happened, "Let's go. We might be late for our next class if we hang around here."
As the emotionless girl started to walk, she heard Rei's soft, hurting voice, being carried by the crisp autumn wind, pleading a single word. "Why?"
A simple word, but a word that meant so much. Sakura sighed. She knew what Rei meant. Why do you usually act so cold? Closed off from the world? Why do you never tell me anything? Why? It was common for Rei to ask those questions once a day regardless of the time, place, or situation. It was a game the two acquaintances always played. A game serious game. A game in which Sakura did not like to partake in. Like any other day, Sakura's reply was carried back to Rei's ears in a calm, cold, haunting melody.
"That's not for you to know."
"Sakura, you voice seems much like… like his… has something happened?"
Sakura stayed quiet leaving the steady breathing only to be heard on the phone. She replied, asking Kami-sama to forgive her for lying to her friend, "Nothing's wrong, Tomoyo. School's been stressing me out."
Tomoyo sighed through the phone, knowing Sakura was lying. She was never good at it. 'But lately, it's been hard to hear that through her voice… especially if her voice is emotionless,' Tomoyo thought. 'Maybe she is becoming a good liar…'
As if Tomyo heard Sakura's plea to God, she replied exasperatingly, "If your lying to me, Sakura, then I'll make sure that when Kami-sama asks me to forgive you for lying, I'll say to him to hit you with a thunderbolt."
The gray-blue eyes girl heard a snort through the phone and she smiled sadly. Sakura was changing, but for the worse. 'I wish there was something I could do…' Tomoyo thought.
Coincidentally, as if Sakura heard Tomoyo's train of thoughts, she replied ironically unknown to her, "You wish."
'Wow, that's weird,' Tomoyo thought. She thought Sakura was replying to her thoughts, but then remembered what she previously said. The dark gray haired girl said back to her friend, "Very well. I'll hope then," Tomoyo replied to Sakura sarcastically.
The phone line suddenly became quiet, making Tomoyo ask herself what happened. 'Was it something I said?' "Sakura?" Tomoyo asked concernedly. She heard Sakura's emotionless voice come through the phone.
"There's no such thing as hope, but only the truth."
'Damn you Lauren Rae. Look how much you changed her… look how much you changed everyone,' Tomoyo thought. Tomoyo strongly thought that it wasn't Syaoran's fault Sakura was who she is now, but thought Lauren was the main cause behind this whole ordeal. Before the scene when Sakura saw Lauren kissing Syaoran at the park, Syaoran told Tomoyo personally about what control Lauren had over him. Tomoyo, herself, tried to tell Sakura, but Sakura, being dense, ignored Tomoyo's protests saying that Lauren was too kind to do such a thing. 'Sometimes Sakura's denseness can get the best of her.'
Tomoyo sighed strongly urging Sakura not to think that. "Sakura, you used to hope so much. And you always told me yourself that if you hope it always leads to the truth."
Sakura laughed harshly. "What an absurd idea I had back then." She continued, "I guess I didn't mention how the hope actually leads to two paths. One that is happiness… the other, disappointment. The disappointment then turns into a pathway of negative things you would hate to feel. All of those things I'm living in at this very moment."
"Sakura! Listen to me on this! Trust me on what I'm about to say! It wasn't Syaoran's fault! It was Lauren's fault! She is the reason behind your disappointment. She even-to this very day-has a control over Syaoran! I can't even talk to Syaoran without Lauren hearing m-"
Tomoyo heard a click on the phone, ending their conversation.
She turned off her phone and growled angrily, throwing the phone onto her bed. 'I knew she would do that! Nevertheless, I still tried. It still seems that even if Sakura and Syaoran are in separate countries, Syaoran still haunts her. And it shouldn't even be Syaoran haunting her! It should be Lauren!' Tomoyo continued her train of thoughts, 'How am I going to make Sakura see that it wasn't Syaoran, but Lauren?'
Tomoyo's gray-blue eyes lit up.
"Desperate times call for desperate measures." She mumbled to herself letting her plan sink into her mind.
A/N: Okay, kind of a cliffy at the end. I'm a bit disappointed on how short this chapter is (recently I've been writing a bit longer). I was on a big writers block on this chapter and I'm defiantly sure it will continue for a while. At least you now know (and I keep on emphasizing) that Lauren has some control over Syaoran. Did she hypnotize him with a kiss? (LOL) Hmm.. You tell me. Actually I know… and you should know too! I practically mentioned it in this chapter.
Oh yeah! I know I had some grammar problems in there. Yes hit me with a tomato. And I'm not lazy to correct or let someone else correct this chapter. Yes hit me with another tomato. haha! Forgive my foolishness, but I'm just plain lazy.
If you noticed, this chapter is a bit boring. The reason for that is because I'm trying to work on character build up. I want you to know why Sakura thinks like that. I want you to see how much Syaoran and (but mostly) Lauren affected Sakura. As you can see the damage is very great. And mostly, it's not really helpful to Sakura that not having someone that you can trust greatly is not there with you (talking about Tomoyo)… in a different country.
…She can talk to her father… Doesn't she trust him?
Yes, but well… most of the teenage population in the world don't go to their parents for comfort. Heck, I usually don't.
…But that doesn't have to relate to Sakura..
Well, in my story it does… so deal with it.
Kai Hiwatari? Isn't he in Beyblade?
LOL yes he is. And he is not one of my original characters. LOL. But, I find him to fit into my story very perfectly. Like Sakura said, he is almost a duplicate of Syaoran. They both try their best and they're both cold.
What role does he play?
Actually a very big one. One of my main characters. That's all I'm saying for now.
What's Tomoyo thinking?
Let's just say… it might save Sakura from being lonely… winkwink.. THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING!
Isn't Rei helping Sakura out from being lonely?
Yes she is, but Sakura is stopping Rei from crossing that line of friendship. Basically, Sakura doesn't trust Rei enough, making Rei sometimes uncomfortable around Sakura. Don't worry they will become very close friends… I'M NOT SAYING WHEN!
Is this story still Sakura and Syaoran pairing?
I'm very unsure at this very moment. So many things have gone down hill for Sakura… if you were she… would you go back with Syaoran… even if it wasn't his fault? Especially if you haven't seen him in years? And those are one of the few out of many problems that are about to arise… WHICH I WILL NOT TELL YET! hehe
Gah! I'm saying too much! Now I hope my author's note gave you a little inside scoop of what is to come or what you did not get… I think I did a bit of foreshadowing in this chapter… if you can point it out… Cookies for you.
Remember to review!
Kimusume Kaoru
