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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I only own Itachi's extreme stinkiness.

Chapter 3- Stupid dark places

Itachi and Kisame traveled for three days without rest until they reached another village.

"You think he's here?" Itachi asks the lizard-man.

"No," he answers. "We have to walk through the village to get to Orochimaru early."

"Can't we just… walk around the village? I don't think I could enter another village in my condition," the Uchiha said as he began to slow down as they got closer to the gates.

"Come on," Kisame grabbed his arm, "the fastest way around this circle if going straight through it. And besides, it's flu season, so everyone's nose is going to be stuffed up. Just keep you arms down and you'll be fine." As Kisame attempted to open the gates, kunais flew down at them and they jumped out of the way.

"Who wishes to enter my village?" a person at the peak of the tall gate glared down at them. He has pale bluish-gray eyes and sandy brown hair. He appeared to be around the age of 9 and was very small. He carried a long stick in his hands and a ferret was lying on his shoulders.

"We just wish to pass through and find something to eat," Kisame replied calmly towards the eight-year-old. The boy leapt off the tall, stone wall and faced the gate. He armed himself with the stick he was carrying.

"We're right here," Itachi grabbed his shoulder and turned the boy around. "What are ya, blin- oh…" The eldest Uchiha gazed into the boy's eyes and finds out he's indeed blind.

"Maybe I am! Fight me and you can pass!"

"What's your name, child?" Itachi asks him as he stops the child's blind rampage with his foot.

"I am Kino Yamachi," Yamachi introduced himself as he jumped away from the smelly Uchiha. "I'll show you not to underestimate my disability." Yamachi began to charge at him once more. The ferret began to charge as well.

"Wait a second kid," Itachi raised his arms up in defense. His foul smell blasted from his underarm and knocked the child and animal back against the gate. They knocked over the gate with the great impact. "Oh man…"

"Well… you did defeat him…" Kisame kicked the sandy-haired child gently in the head. "He's not dead, though. I dunno about the ferret…" They look at the ferret and found it twitching with its paws in the air. "Let's go."

"But what about the kid?" Itachi asks concerned.

"He'll be fine," the lizard man grabbed Itachi's sleeve and pulled him into the village. "Remember, keep your arms closed, or else everyone will turn up like that Yamachi kid." They entered the village of Kamikaze. People were rushing left and right down the main street trying to get wherever they're trying to get to. "The main road is just a straight line to the other side. If we can get through here then we can get to Orochimaru quicker."

"I don't do crowds, Kisame," Itachi said as he began to back out. "Just one whiff of me and you'd be out for days, weeks even." Truthfully, Itachi doesn't do well in crowded places because he is claustrophobic and he pushes people out the way.

"We'll be in and out within minutes," Kisame continued to pull Itachi through the crowded village. As they were halfway through the crowd, it became tighter and tighter until people were touching Itachi.

"TOO CROWDED!" Itachi's scream echoed throughout two countries and a couple of dimensions.

(In Alabama…)

Lil Bre and her friend, Mela-Kenzu-chan were boredly drawing pictures in art class when they heard a piercing screech from nowhere.

"Did you hear that?" Mela-Kenzu asks.

"Hear what?" Lil Bre looks at her confusingly.

"Nevermind…"

Back in Kamikaze, Itachi's reaction to the overcrowded street resulted him into flinging his arms up and trying to push people out the way. But it didn't really happen that way…

"AAHHH THE SMELL!" a man from a third floor building yelled as he fell off the building and into a pool of tomatoes.

"EEEWWWW!" Everyone let out a pitching scream before they were thrown against buildings, trees, and cows and collapsed to the ground. The buildings, plants, and animals either died, collapsed, or melted on impact of the people or the powerful blast that came from Itachi's armpits. Within 45 seconds, the once loud and crowded village was silent and destroyed.

"…" Itachi's shut his mouth, which was hanging the whole time, and peered over at his friend. Kisame was standing stiffly in place, with his mouth wide open, staring left and right at his surroundings. The little hair he had on his hair was in small flames until it went out.

"God damn, Uchiha," was all the lizard man said. "What a weapon! Just imagine the enemies you can knock over if you find out your foul odor's full potential!"

"Let's just get outta here," Itachi said glumly as he started to walk down the main road. He shoved his hands in his pockets and hung his head low.

"Since you melted all the food, we'll take this cow here," Kisame threw the large cow over his shoulders as if it was a small sack. "Hey, if you use your armpits, the cow can get cooked!"

Itachi pushed him into a building and it collapsed on top of him.

"Moron."

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