"Now I do believe that you three can handle the full moon until we figure this out?

Luckily we had ours last night so hopefully we shouldn't worry; now we just need

names. James, you will be James Porter. Lily will be Lily Esposito. Remus will be

Rick Leraly. Sirius, this will be a hard one. Hmmmm.. what shall we call you?"

"Can I be Saul Branch? I've always liked that name."

***********************************************

Sirius, who had been planning a prank with Fred and George, jumped up at the

mention of food.

"FUDGE? DOES SOMEONE HAVE FUDGE? I WANT SOME! GIMME

GIMME GIMME!"

He started prancing around like a five-year-old, doing cartwheels all over the

place, while everyone else had fallen out of their seats, they were laughing so

hard.

"What's so funny? And where's my fudge?"

"You are, you moron! There is no fudge, Harry was just saying what he thought

he was gonna get for Christmas tomorrow!"

"Oh, well in that case, I'm going to bed. Anyone coming? I'm afraid of the dark."

"We'll be right up."

*********************************

"P-padfoot? You wore a what with whats to a what???"

"A leopard print dress with a white boa, red lipstick, black high-heels, and had

my hair in mini braids at Suki's parents' party." Sirius recited miserably

***********************

Sirius P.O.V

´Now giving my highly educated wizard mind a workout, I magicked all of the

invitations on to all of the owls.`

"Fly!" I commanded them "fly and be free!" not one of them moved.

"Dammit you birds - FLY!" One ruffles his feathers, but doesn't move. I

eventually was brought to having to throw and push the birds out of the tower. If

there were the lazy asses I knew they were - they'd fall to their deaths. But if they

weren't just crap disposers with wings, they'd deliver my letters. So, what ever

the outcome, I considered my mission a success.

**********************************************************

"GO JAMES GO JAMES! JAMES POTTER FOR GRYFFINDOR!" Sirius

stood up and yelled again, "JAMES, JAMES, JAMES, HE'S OUR MAN."

The two boys on either side of Sirius grabbed his arms and yanked him back into

the sitting position, James gave both of them a look of pure gratitude.

No sooner had the sorting hat touched his head when it shouted, "RIGHT MR.

BLACK YOU CAN SHUT UP NOW AND STOP GIVING THE ENTIRE

SCHOOL A HEAD ACHE BECAUSE MR. POTTER IS IN

GRYFFINDOR!"

"YES!" Sirius was up again, "WELL DONE JAMES! BRAVO!"

James ran to the Gryffindor table was fast as his legs would carry him, wedged

himself in-between Sirius and the boy next to him and hauled on Sirius's arm

making him sit down again, "You're an idiot, Sirius."

Sirius pretended to be offended, "What me? Do you mean to tell me that you

weren't pleased to have your own cheerleading squad.well I must confess I'm

hurt."

*******************************

Sirius, sprawled out on the floor right in front of the portrait hole, was attempting

to trip the next person who walked in, reading Romeo and Juliet with a look of

horror- or perhaps disgust- on his face, while waiting for his victim.

Just then, the portrait hole swung open.

"Potter, Evans-"

Professor McGonagall never finished her sentence, for she tripped over Sirius the

next second. Quickly recognizing the telltale death glare she was giving him, he

quickly jumped up.

"Sorry, Professor," he apologized.

"Black." she was somehow able to frown, glare, and lecture him at the same

time. "Kindly explain to me why you were lying across the entrance of the portrait

hole."

"I was?" he asked innocently. "Why, golly gee, Minnie, it shames me to think I

done you harm. It's rightly kind of you to tell me of my wrongdoin'. So. Can we

get you anythin'? Sarsaparilla, perhaps? A nice, li'l ol' dance?"

"No, Black. I'm sure Billy the Kid will be around later; offer it to him,"

McGonagall said in an icy voice. "Potter, Evans, I just wanted to tell you of the

prefects' meeting we're having tomorrow."

"Yes, ma'am," Sirius saluted.

Sighing, Professor McGonagall left the room, muttering something about

retirement and the joys of being three continents away from Sirius Black.

****************************************

"Now that we're all here," Sirius announced happily, "WRAP YOUR GIFTS!"

He spread a large selection of scissors, tape, and wrapping paper in front of

them.

"WAIT!" he suddenly cried out.

"What?" Lily asked exasperatingly.

"Nothing, I just always wanted to say that," Sirius grinned.

*********************************************

Lily reached for another present and stripped off the invisibility charm on it, but

covered it almost immediately in the wrapping paper. "Done with Black's," she

said.

Sirius perked up. "Oooh! Is that mine? Lemme see, lemme see!"

"No," Lily said, placing it aside.

"Please? Pretty please? With sugar on top?"

"No," Lily replied, starting to wrap another present.

"And a cherry?"

"No."

*******************************

"In other words," Dumbledore continued, "Please give a round of applause to

your professors, prefects, and Head Boy and Girl, as they have all worked very

hard for this. Introducing."

"Albus! The point!" McGonagall said.

"Patience, Minnie, patience."

Sirius grinned at the use of his nickname for the Transfiguration professor, and

clapped.

"Thank you, Mr. Black," Dumbledore chuckled.

********************************

"Alright, people, hot, piping, cookies, straight from the oven," she announced.

So that was where the Head Girl had disappeared to for three hours.

"Cookies!" Sirius cried gleefully, beating a few third years out of the way ("Out of

my way, munchkins! Those cookies are mine, mine, all mine!").

***************************

Camera goes to Sirius who's pretending he can fly~

Remus: It's a bird! It's a plane! Oh crap, it's Sirius Black!

****************************************

Camera goes on Sirius who's licking his water glass. He pretends to try to pull his

tongue away, but it's stuck.

Remus: Oh no! My tongue's stuck, Sirius Black!

**************************************

Sirius wrestled free of her grasp and, rubbing his ears, pointed at Remus. "His idea!

All his idea! I'm an innocent bystander! I'm a patsy! I didn't squeeze her rear, he did!

He's the perpetrator! Lock him up! Ow!" He was quickly silenced by a swift smack on

the back of the head by Madame Pomfrey. *******************************

"And who, Mr. Potter, is going to take care of Harry?" she asked scathingly. Sirius

bobbed up and down in his seat childish-like but James and Lily did not notice.

"I'm sure we can summon a baby-sitter, MRS. Potter!" James said indignantly. "We

really need this vacation!"

"Back to my first question.who?" James and Lily bickered back and forth upon the

subject until Remus cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. Sirius was still

bobbing up and down, trying to get a hold of James and Lily's attention (yet failing

miserably).

***********************************

Whoop-ee." Sirius said unenthusiastically, weakly pumping his fist into the air.

***********************************

"Don't stop 'til you get enough.uh-huh.come on!" he heard Sirius singing

************************************

"I just want to keep him safe is all. It's pretty cold for a little guy like him!" Sirius

grinned cheekily down at Harry, whose arms were sticking straight out because of all

the sweaters. Sirius proceeded in dressing Harry by putting a pair of woolen socks

on his feet, and placing cotton trousers over his diaper. "There!" Sirius said proudly,

as he took a step back to admire his work in dressing babies. Harry could hardly

move, his legs were spread far apart because of the diaper AND the pants.and his

arms were now on a straight angle. Sirius didn't think that was wrong. "It's perfect!"

***************************************

"Come Harry," Sirius beckoned, picking him up. "See, Moony? I can manage kids!

Piece of cake--" CRASH. Apparently, while trying to boast about his accomplishment

with babies, Sirius knocked over a vase of flowers.

***************************************

"If he thinks for a 'second' that just because I'm a 'convict', as he so nicely puts it,

that that's gonna keep me from Harry, well, he's got another thing coming!"

"I heard that!" Dumbledore shouted, Sirius pulled his tongue out. "I also 'saw' that Mr

Black!"

****************************************

'Really, Sirius, what should I get her?'

'How about a nice toaster?'

'No.'

'Hoover?'

'No, Sirius.'

'Mixer?'

'No.'

'Electric rubbish bin?'

'Stop already, I'm not getting her a kitchen appliance of any kind. We're not married

you know.'

'Margarita machine?'

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