"I will be performing "Dirrty" by Christina Aguilera." Snape said. Hermione

screamed in terror, as a muggle born, she knew that song. The he began.

He finished. Everyone to scared to move. Everything was silent, crickets could

be heard chirping.

Ron had fainted when he started to rap, and Hermione was shaking violently.

Harry eyes had gone up in his head, and Sirius had become unconscious at

some point and was lying in his chicken. Remus was having a seizure under

the table.

McGonagall was barfing a lot, and Dumbledore was just screaming at the top

of his lungs and was running around like a maniac.

********************************************

"Why can't we be friends, why can't we be friends!" Sirius started to sing, but

was cut off as James blew up.

******************************************

Sirius was currently sitting on a towel, his back to the road, saying, "Here

fishy,fishy, fishy. Jump on my hook fishy. You know you want that nice

tasty, squiggly worm."

"Padfoot, what are you doing?" James asked, looking like he was about ready

to fall down laughing.

******************************************

"What are all those cute nicknames you guys use for each other?" Genie

asked them,pouring some more pumpkin juice.

"Yea, I'm sure the whole school wonders about that." Tatiana said, putting a

lock of her dark hair behind her ear, and leaning in to see all their faces,

gazing at them all with her light green eyes.

"Well," Sirius said, "I'm Pad- ow!" Sirius stopped, rubbed his leg, and glared at

James.

James gave him a piercing look. "Sorry - I'm not Pad. but um." he cleared

his throat and quickly glanced at James, "Tampon." All the girls choked on

their food and whippedtheir heads up to look at Sirius. They guys all became

wide-eyed. Genie and Dakota looked at each other, than back at Sirius. "You

know. know how teenage guys are."

The two girls slowly nodded their heads.

"James over there is uh. Thongs." Lily burst out laughing as James hid his

smile by taking a slow, long drink. Everyone else was containing his or her

laughter beautifully.

"Remus is. is. what are you again, Remus?"

"Uh - Moon-me." He replied quickly. Jen started to take shuddering breathes,

trying to keep her mirth inside. A couple of people around them stared as the

bunch of Gryffindors continued to burst out into laughter after feeble attempts

at caging it.

"Right, right. Sorry I forgot - spring heat." Sirius said, nearly rupturing from his

contained laughter.

"That's ok, Tampon old friend." Remus replied, keeping a straight face, and

patting Sirius' hand across the table. Students about them started laughing as

well.

"And Peter. he's," Sirius swallowed to keep from laughing, then said, an

octave higher than usual, "Sperm Whale."

James fell off the bench, and laughed on the floor, with his legs on the bench.

Peter banged his head on the table multiple times. Remus was laughing into

his folded arms on the table, as Jen laughed and supported herself on his

back. Lily fell across

James'legs, while Mel laughed and clung onto a chortling Gus as Ara slowly

pounded a fist on Sirius' back as she laughed.

Sirius himself kept himself up right, and calmly ate a roll, ripping off pieces

and popping them into his mouth. Not to say he wasn't smiling, or shaking

slightly. oh he was.

As people began to calm down, and in James' case, get back seated on the

bench, Genie looked confused.

"Where'd you get the last one?" she asked.

"If only you knew Gene. If only you knew." Sirius said as people laughed some

more.

"Well, we have Ancient Runes now." Sirius addressed all his friends. "Come

on, Moon-me, Sperm Whale, Thongs, ladies."

They all got up slowly, too weak from laughing, and grabbed their bags -

everyone unable to stop smiling.

"I'll see you guys there. I have to talk to Dumbledore for a second." Lily said,

kissing James on the cheek.

Sirius kissed Tatiana on the cheek, waved to Dakota, and left with his friends.

"I didn't mean to make some up, Tampon." James said as Sirius caught up

with them.

"Well, Thongs, I wasn't just going to shut up and leave them in the dark. That'd

just be rude." Sirius said.

"Messrs Moon-me, Sperm Whale, Tampon, and Thongs. Purveyors of Aids to

Magical Mischief-Makers." Remus said with a flourish, sweeping his hands in

front of himself.

************************************************************

"HEHEHE!", the doors crashed open, and in ran Sirius Black, with Remus

Lupin and James Potter chasing after him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! SAVE ME HARRY!" Sirius yelled,

jumping onto the Slytherin table, and running its length, then table hopping till

he got to where Harry sat.

"Padfoot. You are on your own." Harry said, "Infact, I think I'm gonna help Dad

and Remus out." Harry pulled out his wand, and all of a sudden, Sirius had

been transfigured into an exact copy of Severus Snape. Sirius looked down,

and screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

HAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!" he screeched.

James pretended to wipe a tear from his eye, "I'm so proud of you son. A boy

after my own heart."

Looking proud, Harry faked a sniffle "Thanks Dad."

Then Remus, James, and Harry burst out laughing at Sirius who was running

around in circles like a chicken who's head had just been chopped off.

************************************

When he grew back to his normal height, his clothes didn't. Severus Snape

was standing in the Great Hall naked.

Butt naked.

Traumatized screams came from every table. The loudest ones came from

James, Sirius, and Remus.

"My eyes! My eyes!" shrieked Sirius, clutching at his face. Remus was

pounding his own head on the table, and James was sobbing into a shamed

looking Lily's shoulder.

Snape finally realized why everyone was freaking out, and why he suddenly

felt very cold. He ran crying like a sissy girl from the room.

**************************************

Lily and James are looking for a baby-sitter for Harry because they don´t want

Sirius to be the baby-sitter, so Sirius has a plan:

When the interview was done, both Lily and James were quietly discussing on

what to do. The old lady, Mrs. Hoch, let her eyes look down at Harry. She

smiled kindly at him, and it was returned with a smile too. Still seeing that

they were discussing, she look out the large window and her eyes widened.

Sirius held out his hand, and transfigured the stick into man-size dummy. He

put a little glamour spell on it, to look like a real man. Half the people left, and

he just had to get rid of this Mrs. Hoch, who looked like the perfect baby- sitter.

He lay the man on the ground in front of the window. Changing into his animagi

form, he bounded towards it, and proceeded to make vicious growls and

started to bite the 'man's' arm, pulling him this way and that. As luck would

have it, the woman had looked at the window.

Time to put my acting skills into motion..

Mrs. Hoch looked with horror as the dog proceeded to try ripping the man's

arm off.

"Mr. Potter." she trailed off in horror.

Still discussing with his wife, he hadn't heard what she said. Harry, looked at

the kind woman's face, and saw that she seemed frightened. Trying to be

friendly, Harry got up and walked towards Mrs. Hoch. She looked down at him,

seeming to be dazed. "Harry.. Do you have a dog?"

She didn't expect an answer, but bent down and lifted Harry in her arms. Harry

got a good look out the window and broke into giggles. Turning to Mrs. Hoch,

Harry said in a correcting voice. "Puppy!"

"That's a puppy?" she said incredulously.

Harry nodded, clapping his hands. As Sirius managed to rip off the arm and

was going for the head.

Mrs. Hoch, abruptly set Harry down upon the floor, gently of course. Clearing

her throat she caught Lily and James' attention. Lily was smiling. "Mrs. Hoch,

we are going to hire--"

"I'm quite sorry, dear, but I just realized I have a.. thing."

"A thing?" Lily said, in the same incredulous tone that Mrs. Hoch used when

she inquired about the dog.

"Yes, I'm afraid I can't stay any longer. Good day." She apparated quickly.

Bewildered she turned to her husband, "What was that all about?"

The doorbell rang.

Lily lifted her wand, and the door opened--

"Is the job still open?"

Sirius Black. Grinning madly.

"Puppy!" **************************************

OKEY, PEOPLE IT´LL TAKE A WHILE TO UPDATE THIS, I SWEAR THAT I

CRIED WHEN SIRIUS DIED I COULDN´T BELIEVE IT. I´LL MISS HIM AND

NOW IT WON´T BE THE SAME DOING THIS BUT I´LL KEEP GOING WITH

IT.

PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!