:thank you for the great reviews, keep them coming because the action is about to pick up:
TOW the Auction
Chapter Eight
"That is it. I have had enough of this." Ross announced, walking into Chandler and Joey's apartment.
Chandler, sitting on his stool by the breakfast bar, looked up from the bowl of cereal he was about to start eating. Thanks to Joey's home truths the previous evening, Chandler had not had the best night's sleep. Half of the night he had been trying to think of ways to keep his feelings for Monica under control. One idea was to avoid Monica at all costs – a little difficult considering he lived across the hall from her and was currently her slave.
Chandler felt he really was not up to listening to one of Ross' 'things' that morning.
"What?" he now asked tiredly.
"For two whole days I have done everything that she has asked me to do," Ross continued, "you would think it being my last day as her 'slave' that she'd go easy on me wouldn't you? But, of course, no. That would be too much to expect from Rachel! I gotta go to lunch with some of the directors of Bloomingdales. I've got to 'suck it up'."
Chandler smirked. "Well that's just torture. You get to have your lunch paid for by some powerful rich guys. How will you cope?" Chandler stood up and rolled his eyes, not believing what he was hearing.
"Chandler these people will think I know the clothing industry! They'll wanna know my opinions." Ross emphasised the point, glaring hard at Chandler. "It will be a disaster. I don't know anything Rachel knows, she's doing this to get back at me."
"For what exactly?" Chandler looked at Ross in alarm. What had happened between those two now?
"For insulting that warehouse manager on my first day," Ross snapped, "it wouldn't surprise me if the guy we're meeting is him."
"Oh come on Ross, Rachel wouldn't do that. It's her career. She isn't going to mess it up just to get revenge on an old boyfriend. She will just want some company and moral support at this thing."
Ross sighed, looking away from Chandler's look of contempt. "Yeah maybe…"
"Rachel is probably terrified right now," Chandler continued, "Remember when I first got promoted and I sat in on my first meeting? I spent the entire previous day wanting to go to the bathroom. I was so scared that I was going to say the wrong stuff at the wrong moment. I was really eager to please my boss, and that's what Rachel will be thinking right now. The directors probably told her to bring a friend for sociable reasons – maybe one of them has a wife? You never know."
Chandler sat back down and scooped up some cereal. "My point is this – stop complaining. You should be your sister's slave for a while. The time is now 8.15a.m. I have 15 minutes left of 'my time.'"
Ross furrowed his brow. "My time?" he echoed questioningly.
"As I have no work today, Monica has got a whole rota for my last day as her slave," Chandler explained, chewing on his cereal. "From the time I get up until 8.30 is 'my time'. At 8.30a.m I've gotta make her breakfast. At 8.55a.m I've got to start dialling a number for a Ralph Lauren catalogue. I'm to order this…" Chandler paused, picked up a small piece of paper and read from it, "one pair of black slim heel, slip-on evening shoes. They are on sale, 50 off, limited availability. The sale starts at 9a.m. I'm probably gonna be in line on that phone for a couple of hours."
"Wow." Ross widened his eyes. "Then what?"
"I must perform whatever task Monica comes up with. Then I must sit through a whole afternoon of Days of Our Lives."
"Um…why?"
"Nurse Jenny is getting killed off." Chandler explained in a mocking excitable tone. "They're having a two hour special."
"Say no more. I think I work for the lesser of two evils here." Ross interrupted, laughing.
Chandler scowled. "I hope you choke on the disgusting delicacies they'll serve you."
Ross grinned and opened the apartment door. "Have a good day." He called, walking out.
Chandler rolled his eyes as the door shut behind Ross' back. He breathed a sigh of relief at the temporary peace in his life.
Then the phone started to ring.
"Here goes." Chandler held the receiver to his ear. "Yeah?" Using his other hand, he picked up the TV remote and started to surf channels.
"Am I a bad person?" a voice demanded over the line.
Chandler paused and smiled in bemusement. That didn't sound like Monica. "Rachel?"
"Hi. Am I a bad person?" Rachel persisted.
"Um…no." Chandler paused on a channel showing one of his favourite commercials.
"Then why do I feel so guilty right now?" Rachel moaned.
"Um I don't know Rach…why do you feel so guilty?" Chandler rolled his eyes once again and sat down on his barker lounger. Had his day extended to being a councillor to his friends?
"I've just had Ross storm out of my apartment. I asked him to go to lunch with my directors today and he's gotta spend a couple of hours sucking up to complete strangers. Am I being too hard on him? Ross never likes to suck up to people; you should have seen him with my dad."
Chandler chuckled. "I heard stories."
"Right so what do you think I should do? Should I tell Ross to forget it? Or go ahead with this as planned?"
"Go ahead with it," Chandler advised, "I just talked to him about this. He'll be fully supportive."
"Really?" Chandler caught the surprised tone in Rachel's voice. "He's not mad at me?"
"Well, yeah, he's mad at you." Chandler laughed; "but when is he not mad at you? Relax, he's going."
"Wow. I…I…that's great," Rachel sighed over the line in relief. "This is such a weight off my mind. The last thing I need at this meeting is for Ross to be all hostile."
"What's going on Rachel?" Chandler asked quietly, frowning in concern.
"Joanna recommended a promotion." Rachel replied, breathing deeply.
"That is great," Chandler said sincerely, "what's the job?"
"I'll be in charge of the promotion of the new winter line coming up!" Rachel exclaimed excitedly; "someone will just walk into my office and say 'hey, do you like these pants' and I'll say 'yeah, I'll include them in the catalogue'. How cool would that be?"
Chandler grinned at his friend's enthusiasm. "It does sound pretty cool."
"It's a great job. This lunch is like an interview; I must make a good impression."
"Well, you go girl." Chandler told her, punching a fist in the air.
"That's cute Chandler, but stop saying that."
"Ok."
"I'd better go; Monica is trying to wrestle the phone off me. She wants to talk to you."
Chandler groaned. "Ok. Good luck Rach."
"Chandler, get your little butt over here right now." Monica said urgently.
"It's not 8.30 yet." Chandler pointed out.
"I don't care, just get over here."
Chandler replaced the receiver and sighed. "And the nightmare begins."
Phoebe groaned softly as she heard the intercom to her apartment go off.
"Ok hang on…" she called, getting out of bed.
The intercom buzzed again.
"Hang on!"
Phoebe stumbled out of the apartment, walked across her living room and pressed the button on the wall. "Who is it?"
"It's Mike."
Phoebe smiled widely and cleared her throat. "Oh…yeah?" she asked, trying to sound aloof.
"Can I come on up?"
"Um…this isn't a good time." Phoebe stammered, looking down at her wrinkled pyjamas.
"Why not?"
"I'm…not dressed."
Mike laughed. "Phoebe, I'm sure you look fine in pyjamas…or lingerie now that I come to think about it."
Phoebe flushed. "Mike…"
"Sorry."
"It's ok, but is this important? I don't have a job for you yet."
"It is important…depending on your point of view."
"O-k. Um…then I guess I should let you in." Phoebe released the button and waited for Mike to walk up to her apartment. She grabbed a dressing gown from her bedroom and quickly wrapped it around herself. She really wished her hair wasn't such a mess.
She opened the door and let Mike in.
"Hey. So…what's up?" Phoebe brushed a strand of hair from her face, but it only fell back down again.
"Phoebe…" Mike paused and smiled awkwardly at her. "There's been something on my mind recently."
Phoebe looked closely at him. "Did you sleep at all last night?" she enquired, "you look tired."
"No, I was too busy thinking." Mike pulled at his collar, looking at her nervously.
"About what?"
"You."
Phoebe looked at him blankly. "What?"
"When I'm not with you, I'm thinking about you all the time." Mike said, eyeing her softly.
Phoebe blushed. "You are?" she asked quietly.
"Yes. Do you have that going on too?"
Phoebe stepped back, looking distressed. "Mike, I don't think we should be talking about this. You're confused…"
"Phoebe, I am not confused." Mike said firmly, "I really like you. And I think you like me." Mike stepped closer to her.
"I told you I can't commit right now…"
"Why not?" Mike met her eyes. "Is there a reason?"
Phoebe stared silently at him for a moment. "Mike, every relationship I've ever been in fell apart within a month. They've never been long term. I'm no good with this kind of stuff."
"Maybe the guys you were with weren't good at that kind of stuff." Mike pointed out.
"Are you any different?" Phoebe demanded softly, "would you hurt me?"
"Never," Mike said sincerely, reaching up to brush away the strand of hair hanging across Phoebe's face.
"So…you have no interest in going to Minsk?"
Mike paused and frowned at her, confused. "What?"
"You're not going to dump me if I told you I'm a fire hazard because I like lighting candles during outdoor picnics?"
"Again…what?"
Phoebe grinned. "Nothing, it doesn't matter." She wrapped her arms around Mike's shoulders. "You like me." She added, realisation crossing her face.
"Yes." Mike laughed, rubbing his nose across hers. "Although, we might have to talk about the fire hazard thing…"
"Mike, I like you too." Phoebe interrupted, smiling softly.
"Good, but you should know I sniff the occasional magic marker." Mike said, pulling back as Phoebe reached up to kiss him.
"Well, we'll have to talk about that too." Phoebe replied, kissing him.
"Richard just called." Monica said as Chandler walked into the apartment.
"He did?" Chandler asked suspiciously.
Rachel cleared her throat and picked up her bag. "…and I'm leaving." She muttered. As she opened the door she leaned over to Chandler. "Whatever you do, don't say yes." She whispered.
"Say yes to what?" Chandler asked, looking at her wildly.
Rachel arched an eyebrow and left.
"So, Richard called." Monica repeated shrilly.
"Yes…" Chandler said slowly.
"He wants us to go on a double date with him and his girlfriend, Rita."
Chandler looked at her blankly. "Excuse me?"
"You and I are going on a double date tonight with Richard and some woman called Rita."
Chandler gave a short laugh. "Well, I think we know that isn't really going to happen."
Monica shot him a desperate look.
Chandler widened his eyes at her. "You said yes."
"Maybe," Monica said quietly.
"I don't believe this. You said yes?"
"What else was I supposed to say!" Monica shouted.
"You could have said, 'that's very nice of you to ask, but I might have to pass on that idea!'"
"But then he would have asked why I said no!"
"How about 'you're my ex-boyfriend and saying yes would make it awkward, especially adding to the fact Chandler isn't really my new boyfriend.'"
"Hey, hang on just a second. I seem to remember how you were quite willing to accept Richard's party invite only two days ago!" Monica looked at him pointedly.
"Double dates is a whole other thing!" Chandler protested, looking at her in exasperation, "if I had realised that simple meeting with him outside Central Perk was going to cause all this madness then I wouldn't have considered telling you about it!"
"Oh, I see, so now you'd prefer to keep secrets from me?" Monica asked sweetly.
"No, no. That is not what I meant." Chandler widened his eyes at Monica in alarm.
"Chandler, can't you see what Richard is trying to do? He wants to break us up!We have to show him he can't beat us. We will be the perfect couple!" Monica's eyes shined in delight.
"Monica, you are really scaring me now. You are going round the bend. Please just call Richard back and tell him the truth."
Monica flushed. "I can't tell him we lied. Listen, it's just for one night."
"No Mon."
Monica pulled Chandler to the kitchen table and sat him down. She sat across from him. "It's one night and I'll pay."
"No." Chandler glared at her. "We can't do this. I can't go on a fake double date with you. It's ridiculous."
"Chandler!" Monica wailed. "You're supposed to be my friend."
"I am your friend, and as your friend I'm telling you that you are crazy. Mon, you don't have to try to prove to Richard that everything about your life is great. He doesn't have to know if you have a boyfriend or not, it's none of his damn business."
"I…I just don't want him to think my life is sad…"
"It's not sad Mon." Chandler reached across the table and held her hands. "You have great friends and a nice place to live. You don't have to prove to him that you're a great person, he should know that already."
Monica gave him a small smile. "Thanks."
"Everyone is allowed to be insecure sometimes."
"I know."
They looked silently at one another for a minute.
"So when does this date start?"
"I thought you didn't want to go?" Monica said in surprise. "It's 8pm."
"Just promise me that you won't go over-the-top this time."
"Well, you appeared to enjoy it, but ok I promise." Monica grinned. "Thanks."
"I'll be getting my revenge tomorrow." Chandler quipped, grinning back. "I can live through an evening making small talk on that thought alone."
"Oh, yes, we switch roles." Monica smiled painfully.
"I'm really going to put you through it you know." Chandler said playfully, standing up.
"It's not until tomorrow." Monica glanced at her watch. "Call Ralph Lauren please, I want those shoes."
"Yeah I'll do it but, first, you just won't believe what Joey told me last night…"
"I didn't know you were so keen," Janice teased Joey, letting him in her apartment later that day.
"I'm not but thinking of tomorrow will get me through it," Joey shot back, smiling.
"Oh I see… you're playing it like that." Janice rolled her eyes.
"So where's this bathroom you want me to clean?" Joey asked, wincing at the thought of it.
Janice grinned at him. "I really appreciate this."
"Hey, it's ok. I've sprained a wrist. I know how painful it is, believe you me. I bet it's even worse with an ankle."
Janice looked down at her bandaged right ankle, nodding. "The doctor gave me some pills to help."
"When you called me saying that you had to spend the morning in hospital, I couldn't believe it. What happened?"
Janice flushed. "You'll laugh at me."
"No I won't." Joey dug his elbow in her arm. "Come on, tell how you did it."
"I was walking through the village and I dropped my purse down one of those open sewage drains…"
"Ok," Joey encouraged, giving her a mystified look.
"There was no way I was going to lose my purse so I knelt down, putting my hands on the ground to balance myself, and had a look down the hole. It was too dark to see so I leaned further down…"
"Oh my god…" Joey grinned in spite of himself.
"Anyway, I was putting so much pressure on my heels that one of them broke…I fell down the hole and landed on some kind of little ledge that the workers must be using to stand on. It killed my ankle."
"How…how did you get out?" Joey asked, laughing hard.
"Somebody was kind enough to stop and pull me out. It is not funny." Janice slapped Joey's arm.
"Janice, you just told me you fell down a sewage drain. I'm sorry, but if Chandler knew he'd be using that line at parties."
Janice smiled ruefully. "Well, I got my purse back." She muttered.
"Yeah I bet you did." Joey chuckled.
"If you don't stop laughing I'll throw you out." Janice threatened.
Joey put his hands up in surrender. "Ok, I'll shut up now." He looked at her thoughtfully. "Why don't you say let's forget about the bathroom and I'll buy you lunch instead?"
Janice blinked. "What?"
"I want to…to take you out for lunch." Joey muttered bashfully.
Janice smiled. "I thought you hated me."
"Not so much." Joey said, shrugging.
"Why do you want to take me out for lunch?" Janice asked, looking at him curiously.
"Because."
"Because what?"
"Because nothing. I just want to buy you lunch." Joey avoided Janice's eyes.
Janice grinned in realisation. "Are you asking me out on a date?"
"No, not a date; I just want to buy you lunch to cheer you up about the sprained ankle." Joey flushed.
Janice smiled at him knowingly. "Ok, I'll just get my crutches."
"Sorry?"
"I mean yes."
Joey grinned. "I can buy you lunch?"
"Yes." Janice giggled. She hopped into her room and shut the door.
Joey punched his fist into the air and bought it down just in time to see Janice come back out with crutches.
"You're still cleaning the bathroom after." She told him, hobbling to the door.
End of Chapter 8
:next up, what's going on with Ross and Rachel's lunch appointment? And what happens on the fake double date? And when everyone switches roles, what's going to happen then? Find out soon! haha:
