Remus rolled his eyes and stepped forward so that Petunia Dursley could see his

reflection in the mirror.

Before she noticed, Sirius leaned over to Remus, "Aren't you supposed to not

have a reflection?"

"That's vampires, genius."

"Oh yeah!"

They were interrupted by a sudden high pitched scream which made Remus

wonder if Mrs. Dursley was related to a Mandrake.

"Wh-who are you?!" Petunia shrieked.

"We-" Sirius started.

"-Are now deaf." Remus finished, "Hello, Mrs. Dursley! I am Mr. Kookoonana and

this is my partner Mr. Chi-"

Sirius cleared his throat.

"What?!" Remus asked irritably, annoyed at being interrupted.

"You prat!" Sirius hissed, "I'M Mr. Kookoonana and YOU'RE Mr. Chi!"

*************************************

They seemed amazed at the little plastic gnomes in the front yard.

"Little people!" Sirius exclaimed as they approached the first lawn gnome. He

was about three feet tall with red pants and a blue button up shirt. Sirius

galloped up to him and hugged the plastic ornament happily.

"Err.Sirius? What are you doing to Bob?" Lily had just stepped out of the door

to her house and saw the particularly odd scene.

"He doesn't look happy! He needed a hug!" He screamed back at her, "Have

y'all been feeding him?"

Lily looked from Sirius, with his arm hanging protectively over the three- foot

gnome

***************************************

Harry was speaking to Sirius trough the mirrors, James was next to Sirius:

"What about my mum?" he asked quietly.

Sirius grinned mischievously. "Still as hot as ever! OW...!" At first Harry looked

appalled. Why was Sirius talking like that? Then he remembered that he'd said

James was right beside him. *Trying to make him jealous, probably* he thought.

Typical Sirius.

"James hit me," smirked Sirius.

"I figured that. Now, besides my mum being 'as hot as ever', how is she?" Harry

asked.

"She's doing great. She feels sorry for you though," Sirius said.

"Feels sorry for me? Why?!" he asked.

Sirius grinned again. "'Cause you look more like James than her," he explained.

"Cursed, I say...OW!!! James hit me again!!" Sirius complained.

***********************************

" Love, you're so beautiful. Where have you been all my life?" Sirius paused for

effect, " You're everything I ever wanted, ever dreamed for, could ever hope for!

Now you're here. And you're all mine. Ah, I remember the first time I laid eyes

on you, and look at us now. "

"Yes, Mr. Black. Look at you now. Pouring your heart out----to a motorcycle."

Sirius Black didn't tear his eyes from his new motorcycle, but he could almost

picture the pretty redhead behind him; laughing. Which she was.

*************************************

The sun poured through the window and beamed it's unwelcome rays in Prongs

face. Beyond that everything was perfect. No baby crying, Lily was home,

cuddled up against him, and he was refreshed from his little nap.

Wait. Lily isn't home!

"GAH!!!" James eyes snapped open and he rolled off the bed and landed on his

head. Who had been..snuggling with him? Ew. Wait. He knew. Unfortunately.

"OH HELL PADFOOT!!! I TOLD YOU TO SLEEP ON THE FRICKIN' COUCH!!"

James emerged from the floor and whacked his friend with his pillow. Sirius just

grinned insanely.

***************************************

He unscrewed the top of the fish food bottle and started talking to his fish,

"Good morning Ms. Goldie! How are you today pumpkin?" Sirius tapped on Ms.

Goldie's fishbowl glass frantically and then yelped, "MS. GOLDIE?! WHERE

ARE YOU?!"

Suddenly, the small goldfish appeared from its small, plastic purple castle with

sparkly green glitter and floated to the top of the water. Her eyes were all cloudy

and she was...

"STOP SLEEPING MS. GOLDIE! Its time to EAT! Get up!" Sirius poked his

wand in the water and whirled it around. Ms. Goldie just whirled around and

around in the water.

*******************************

"Well, yo- your fish is gone, forever," Remus told him.

"No! She's not gone! Maybe she learned a new trick like playing dead!"

exclaimed Sirius.

*******************************

"Sirius, I heard that fishies go to Fishy Heaven if they go down the toilet,"

informed James.

His eyes were wide open and exclaimed "Really?!"

"Yes, really!"

"Really, really?!"

"Yes, really really!"

"REALLY REALLY REALLY?!"

"YES ALREADY!"

"Then flushing it is!" said Sirius in a sing-song voice. "I'll do whatever it takes to

make sure Ms. Goldie is happy forever!"

After lunch, the four friends went to their dormitory, and changed into their best

black robes. They then gathered into the bathroom and hovered over the toilet.

Sirius was holding Ms. Goldie's bowl carefully. He then gracefully turned it over

and drained all the water out into the toilet, but Ms. Goldie got stuck on the side

of her fishbowl, so Sirius had to smack the glass to get her off it. She then

plopped into the toilet water.

*****************************

Dear Evil Elf Worker,

Is it true you use under-aged elfs! YOU'RE A BAD, BAD MAN! So, either you

give me this stuff or I'll go to the Daily Prophet, Witch Weekly, and every other

paper in the World. Mwuhwahwahwahwa!

Explosives

More explosives

Give James a date with Lily Evans

Give Remus more books, he deserves them

Have the Reindeer eat Snape & Malfoy

Give Snape shampoo before he dies

Give Malfoy deodorant before he dies

Give Peter a girlfriend and make him stop flirting with us

Explosives

A Hogwarts toilet seat

Oh, and besides ruining your reputation I'll help James blow up your igloo!

Sirius Black

*************************************

Remus answering machine clicked on, and Remus grinned at the sound of his

own voice, "'Ello! You've reached Remus Lupin! If this truly is important, leave

your name and a number after the beep... and I'll get back to you a) if I feel like

it and b) if I can. Unless of course your name is Sirius Black, in which case:

Sod of you git! I'm tired of listening to your memories of the good ol' days at

school when you showed off Malfoy's hot pink boxers!" BEEP!

"REMUS!" roared Sirius Black's voice (obviously magically magnified) over the

speaker, "HOW DARE YOU TELL ME TO SOD OFF?! PICK UP, YOU GIT! IT'S

IMPORTANT! I KNOW THAT YOU'RE THERE... REMMY!....... MOONY! DON'T

MAKE ME CRY! YOU KNOW I WILL! OKAY, MAYBE NOT, BUT I CAN *SING*!

STILL NOT ANSWERING? FINE. YOU ASKED FOR IT! THE ITSEY BITSEY

SPIDER-" Beep.

Remus laughed loudly as the machine cut his friend off, and was not at all

surprised when it rang again seconds later.

"'Ello! You've reached Remus Lupin! If this truly is important, leave your name

and a number after the beep.... I'll get back to you a) if I feel like it and b) if I

can.Unless of course your name is Sirius Black, in which case: Sod of you git!

I'm tired of listening to your memories of the good ol' days at school when you

showed off Malfoy's hot pink boxers!" BEEP!

"Your stupid machine cut me off! Stupid Muggle invention! Anyway. THE ITSEY

BITSEY SPIDER WENT UP THE WATER SPOUT! DOWN CAME THE RAIN

AND-!"

"Alright! Alright! ENOUGH!" Remus shouted into the phone after snatching it up,

"Good god Sirius!"

"Ha, HA! I win!"

*******************************

PLEASE REVIEW!!!

AND THANKS TO

kaitlyn..."I give it all to Mr.Black."

Anrion ("Padfoot and Moony Return to HoggywartyHogwarts!")

Rowlingfan1