"So, where is this place?" Came Moony's curious voice over the receiver. Paddy and Moony had
bought phones the other day, after all, they were going to play at being Muggles.
"Oh, somewhere nearby."
"Paddy! Last time you said 'Nearby, we ended up in Spain!"
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"Sirius you fall and bring me with you and I'm going to have to murder you, got it?" he asked, just
as Sirius tripped over a stone step that one of the suits of armor were placed on.
"Shit!" James cursed as his elbow smacked into the stone floor. "How the hell can you be so damn
clumsy?" James demanded as he pushed himself up from the floor and offered a hand out to his friend
who it seemed was nursing a bruised head.
"I was born on the floor?" Sirius suggested as he got up. "SO maybe I decided I liked it down on
the floor when I was born and trip all the time to be on the floor."
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James grinned, and casually glanced around and his eyes landed on the sleeping Sirius.
"Oh God, that's disgusting," he said with a look of extreme revolt on his face. Lily looked over.
"Eww," she said. His head was on his shoulder and a long string of drool was coming from his mouth causing
a puddle in the crook of his arm. "Somebody wake him up."
Remus rolled over on his back and sat up. He crept around the chair so he was behind Sirius.
"Cover your ears," he said. He raised his hand and flicked him hard in the ear.
"OY!" Sirius yelled jumping out of his seat.
"Good call on the 'cover your ears', mate," James said.
"What the bloody hell was that for?" Sirius roared. "You flick hard!"
Everyone laughed.
"Padfoot, you were drooling like Niagara Falls."
"Oh." He looked down and saw his pile of slobber on his shirt. "Eww."
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"So she's not a difficult child?" said Sirius putting two heaping spoonfuls sugar in his coffee.
"Difficult?" laughed Harry. "No, not on purpose anyway. She's just extremely curious, which makes it
a bit difficult on me. She had me stumped the other day, Sirius, absolutely stumped."
Sirius laughed heartily. "I'm glad you took her on. Frankly, you need someone around who can keep
you second guessing."
Harry smiled and looked a little embarrassed. "If you say so."
"Is she accepting that she is a witch?" said Sirius sipping his coffee and making a horrible face and s
pooning a few more heaps of sugar in it.
"Yes and no. She wants to be one but she doesn't realize that she really already is one. It is sort of a hard
concept to grasp at first, how do you tell someone that they have something but they can't see or do anything with it?"
"Well, that'll change once she figures out a spell or two." Sirius said wisely. He cautiously took a taste of coffee.
"That'll be interesting," Harry said, as he watched Sirius add yet more sugar. "Would you like some coffee with your sugar?"
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'What about you,Sirius? What would you give up, sex or food?' asked James
'Uhm... oh... I don't know, it's too hard.'
'No, you gotta pick one!' Remus said smirking
'Oh... food. No, sex. Food! Sex! Food! Se-I don't know! Good God, I don't know, I want girls on bread!'
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"And Sirius...try not to atract any attention, you don't need it"
"Right you are, Moony. Let's get this show on the road, granny," he agreed, and gave Sirius a shove in Lily's direction.
Unfortunately, this led Sirius to attract unwanted attention to himself as he tripped his way down the stairs.
"Graceful," Remus sighed, looking around at the occupants of the restaurant.
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"Since you are my best friend I think I shall risk. Dare."
"Take your socks out of the room, I beg you."
"What socks?" Sirius didn't understand what James was talking about.
"Your socks. The blue ones with embroidered teddy-bears. You know the ones that you took off a while ago."
"Oh these socks!" Sirius lifted his socks from his shoes.
"Yes, these. Now please could you be such a good boy and do what I told you?"
"Sure, I'll have to anyway because it's a dare. Just could you tell me at first why are my socks," Sirius held
them in his stretched hand just a meter from James's face, "so special that you want me to take them out of the room?"
"And you ask me that?" James asked while moving away from the socks. "Maybe you haven't noticed, but these
socks have been lying by my side for about half an hour and well even flies started gathering above them."
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soon as they entered the classroom, they were in shock.
"SIRIUS! WHY?" Ron yelled. Everything was pink. Tonks was sitting on a chair with her eyes closed, saying
things under her breath. When they stepped closer to her, they heard.
"The room is not pink, Sirius is not a fairy, Sirius did not make fairy bread, he will not sing and dance like a fairy,
he is not in a fairy costume, there is no list, we didn't make a list, Sirius hasn't done anything out of the ordinary,
Sirius is not dressed as a fairy."
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"SIRIUS?" Harry called out.
"In a second, just getting strapped up."
"Please don't tell me that is what I think it means." Sirius came walking out from behind the board and oh my god. T
heir jaws dropped as Harry's godfather came out in a frilly, sparkly pink fairy costume. Remus came out laughing madly.
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"Okay people...I can't breathe!" said the muffled voice of the one and only, Sirius Black. All they could see of him
were his feet as he was completely covered in a bright red sleeping bag. Hermione had the camera out.
"Go Son GO!" Tonks yelled out. Sirius swore and began to run, but immediately found his way into a wall.
"Sirius you NUT!" Ron yelled out. They picked Sirius up with difficulty and carried him out into the grounds
and set him loose. He began to run like a kiwi, then gained speed and tripped over his own feet and went flying
and began rolling down a hill towards the lake.
"I hope you realise, that if he falls in there he is going to drown because he won't be able to get the sleeping
bag off." Hermione said to Lupin. Lupin was obviously thinking really hard whether to save Sirius or now.
"Ah...he better." He said with effort and they all ran after the run away sleeping bag.
"Sirius! Try rolling in the other direction!"
"H-o-o-o-o-w t-h-the h-e-e-e-e-l-l- a-m-m-m-m I-I-I-I me-an-n—n-nt to-o-o-o do-o-o-o tha-a-a-a-at? They heard a rolling voice.
Neville laughed and Ginny had finally caught up with Sirius and grabbed onto the sleeping bag.
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"Ron! Stop popping the bubbles! It's getting annoying now." Hermione said and she gave Sirius some more pillows to
stuff down his pants. Sirius slowly started to get a lot bigger and bigger. They wrapped bubble wrap around his legs,
making them five times the size of what they should be. They gave him an xxxl size shirt to put on and filled that up
with many pillows and much bubble wrap. After another hour of touch ups, Sirius was ready to make a catastrophe.
Looking at Sirius could make the whole universe feel skinny, and he now, barely fat into the shirt and pants.
"...Wow...this is good. Really good." Said hermione and she took out the camera. Harry smiled slyly and moved slowly to Sirius.
"it is warm in here...Harry, what are you ARGH!" Sirius yelled as Harry pushed him and made him fall over.
The funny thing was that Sirius was so fat and weighed so much now, and was so round that he couldn't get up and
as much as he tried to push himself up, he found that he couldn't do it without a lot of help.
