Rating : G
Disclaimer : Nothing is mine.
Category : Written for the Gateship Wednesday Challenge 'Abyss'. Sam's POV.
She thought that her feeling of guilt would be more overwhelming.
Whatever the Colonel had gone through the last few weeks – and she knew him well enough to know he would never tell them the entire story – she was the one who had sent him into that mess.
Because he couldn't say no to her. She knew that, and she had taken advantage of it, to save his life.
For a few years now, there had been a silent, implicit agreement between them to bury any inappropriate feelings that could endanger their career, their friendship, the safety of the team and the planet. Don't feel, Sam. Fight! Go save the world every week. It's so much more gratifying ! Sacrificing yourself and the people you love for the greater good of the country.
Well, not this time.
So she had looked a him through the suit's plastic mask, seeking his gaze, fully aware of what he would find in hers. Desperation, tenderness, love. And them she had begged him softly.
Sir...Please...
And he had said yes. Becoming a temporary host, resulting in his capture by Ba'al, all this was for her. Because he couldn't stand to see her in pain. Because he needed to let her know that his own feelings were still very much there, and if taking a snake in his head was the only way to tell her that, then so be it.
As she now watches him sleep in one of the infirmary beds, she has a heavy weight on her stomach. She's been selfish. She's used Colonel O'Neill's feelings for her to make sure he wouldn't die.
She lost Daniel only a few month ago, and she knows that she couldn't bear to lose Jack as well.
This is definitely not a very proper military behavior. So yeah, there's a guilty feeling.
But mostly, there's just tremendous relief that he's alive.
Back home.
With her.
