Chapter 50: If We Were To Have A Child…

"How's Billy doing?" Sam asked, looking over at her dad and Angela. "He was so sweet to come to the funeral and to spend some time getting to know Maria and Matty."

"He's still doing well," Angela responded, smiling as she thought about the handsome young man that Billy, or Bill as he was now known, had become. "We had him and his girlfriend, Sarah, over for dinner a few weeks ago. Being a firefighter definitely agrees with him, although it worries us from time to time."

"There was no talking him out of it after Tony's stint as a volunteer one," Jonathan said with a laugh. "Every time we saw him after he went back to live with his grandmother, he always wanted to play firefighter."

"Ay-oh-oh-ay, I will gladly take the blame because he's a damn good one," Tony said proudly. "9/11 had a lot to do with it too. Even though he was only 16, I think that's what cemented his decision. Angela and I are very proud of him and happy that we're all still in touch."

"That's definitely true," Angela agreed as she squeezed Tony's shoulder while her thoughts went back to how Billy had entered their lives so unexpectedly but had turned out to be exactly what they all needed...

She knew Tony was spiraling both from his breakup with Kathleen and with Sam moving out so soon afterward. Tony had reverted to his "everything is fine" façade, similar to when she had urged him to continue therapy, and just like then, they knew each other so well that she could see right through it. She finally confronted him in the kitchen in what turned out to be another heartbreaking conversation between them because of their "new" situation.

Angela remembered how desperately she wanted to be there for her best friend, and she was trying to be, but Tony pointed out that things were different now, and without even having to say it, she knew he meant that he was trying to respect the boundaries of her relationship with Andy. Looking back at it now, Angela could see that's when the cracks in her relationship with Andy started to first form, especially when she remembered Tony's little speech about family as they all crowded together on the couch that night. She hadn't missed the quick but longing look he had given her and how much she wanted to lean over and kiss his cheek. Of course, she hadn't, and even though she didn't know it at the time, that was the beginning of the end of her and Andy's relationship.

"Mom, Mom, come back to us," Katie said teasingly, startling Angela back to the present.

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart. You caught me again. These walks down memory lane keep bringing up memories I haven't thought about in a long time," Angela said with a small smile.

"I'm sure for all of us in one way or another," Katie responded, mirroring her mother's smile. "So, how did the whole Billy situation unfold? I've heard bits and pieces and talked with him a few times over the years, but since he was so young at the time, he doesn't remember a lot of the specifics."

Angela smiled as she remembered how innocently it all began, almost by accident. Mrs. Rossini mentioned to Tony that she had started babysitting Mrs. Napoli's grandson on a pretty regular basis since Mrs. Napoli was having trouble taking care of a rambunctious five-year-old. And before they knew it, Mrs. R had roped Tony and Angela into becoming regular babysitters for Billy as well. Angela remembered that first night when it was just her and Billy, as Tony was still dating Kathleen at the time, and how much fun it had been having a little kid in the house again. Well fun, but exhausting as she thought about how hard it was to get Billy to go to bed that night. She hadn't wanted to call Tony while he was over at Kathleen's (ok, so maybe a small jealous part of her really didn't mind interrupting their date), but she was getting a little desperate. However, the laughter and fun that Billy had started to bring back into their lives during such an awkward time definitely outweighed the exhaustion.

And before they knew it, they had become Billy's regular babysitters on the weekends. Angela smiled because when she thought about it now, she realized that Billy was slowly bringing her and Tony back to each other. He was something that they could focus on together, and they had always made such a good parenting team that little by little, they were starting to relax and find their way again in their relationship.

Of course, everything changed that fateful day when Tony walked into her study and announced that he didn't have to give Billy back to Mrs. Napoli. Angela remembered how, after the initial shock had worn off, she started to really think about what having Billy around full-time could mean for her and Tony. It was definitely going to be a lot of work, and she and Tony were older now, but not that old, she rationalized to herself. And she knew in the back of both of their minds was the thought that maybe Billy was that chance for them to raise "their own" child. The topic of more children had come up between them over the years, and Angela had always secretly harbored the hope that it would happen eventually. But, with the state their relationship currently was in and the fact that she wasn't getting any younger, maybe this was that opportunity, just presenting itself in a different way than she had envisioned. She wanted to raise another child with Tony, there was no doubt about that, and the idea that they were going to do it together pretty much cemented the fact that they were going to be, and wanted to be, part of each other's lives for the foreseeable future.

And it really had been a wonderful experience in spite of all the ups and downs that having a young child around can bring. Angela smiled ruefully as she remembered the parenting class fiasco and how her mother, always the wise one, had pointed out that she and Tony just needed to relax and be the natural parents they had been to Jonathan and Samantha. And once that happened, their relationship continued to grow and get stronger, especially after she finally realized that her priorities really were with her family and Billy, her mother, Jonathan, Sam and Tony were that family. There wasn't room for anyone else, so she hadn't felt too terribly bad when she'd broken up with Andy. Of course, it didn't hurt that she could tell how relieved Tony was when she told him. He had tried to hide it, but he had never been a very good liar. She remembered the look they gave each other, the silent acknowledgment that they were now back on the right path. So much so that little by little, the teasing and flirtatiousness that had always been a part of their relationship began to creep back in, especially when Tony did take that volunteer firefighter position.

Of course, what really sealed the fact that they were finally moving forward again, albeit in their 'slow car, with a flat, driven by a blind nun' way, was that fateful night at the Starlight Ballroom…